A/N: Haha...the scary thing is, I know there are guys out there with rooms like Roy's...I'm just glad I don't know any of them...Oo;; I totally sympathize with Ed here. By the way, I have the characters swearing by the "Gate" because there doesn't seem to be a generalized religion in FMA, and I figured the obscureness of the "Gate" made it something unique to curse by...)

Feedback: Constructive feedback is very welcome...I'm trying to get into Roy's head here and I hope I've succeeded...) Thank you to everyone who has reviewed so far...D

Felis Catus: Circle 3

"Oh by the infernal Gate…" Ed stood in the doorway of Roy's apartment and looked around him in horror. Roy jumped down from Ed's shoulders looking guilty. So he hated to clean. Big deal. A little dirt never hurt anyone.

"Colonel, you utter bastard…" Ed groused, locking the door and stalking into the one bedroom apartment. He kicked an old laundry basket out of the way, and set his bags down in the kitchen. Or what was probably the kitchen, by process of elimination. There were dirty dishes piled high in the sink, and the back of the gas stove was burned black from erupting flames. Edward almost cringed as he opened up the fridge, expecting the worst.

Surprisingly, the fridge was clean – probably because it was almost completely empty, except for a container of juice in the back. Ed sniffed at it expertly. Expired. It figured. Ed tossed it into the garbage can, which was already almost full to bursting.

Hmm. Roy looked around. So maybe he should have cleaned a bit more often, he thought ruefully. At least taken out the trash…he sniffed, and then meowed plaintively. A cat's nose was rather sensitive, after all.

"I hear you, kitty," Ed muttered, tying a knot in the garbage bag and hefting it over one shoulder. "I'll be back. Watch the door," he ordered.

Well now. Roy padded into his room and surveyed the area critically. Not too bad. It would do. Or so he thought, at least… Ed didn't appear to agree.

"Oh my fucking God…and I don't even have a God," came a voice from behind him. Edward had shown up quietly back in the apartment after tossing out the trash, and was now looking at Roy's room with something very much akin to horror. "That man is so uptight and controlled, you'd think he was a neat freak, and now look at this," Ed marveled with a sort of fascinated disgust, shaking his head.

Roy was feeling distinctly disgruntled. What? It was clean! And just whom was Ed calling uptight? Pot? Kettle?

"Just look!" Ed continued ranting to the cat as he entered the room. Roy was annoyed. He was looking. It looked fine to him. Okay, so clothes really should be hung up. But it wasn't his uniform or dress clothes, so who cared? It wasn't as if sweats really wrinkled…and they didn't smell. Yet. Hmm. Now that he thought about it, when was the last time he'd done his laundry?

Ed picked up a plate that looked like it had once contained something related to food, holding it between two fingers, as far from his face as possible. "Doesn't he know not to eat in his room?"

Who made up that rule? Roy wanted to know. Food was food. Who cared where it was eaten?

"Oh gross…mold!" Ed grimaced, walking back to the kitchen and balancing the plate at the top of the already precarious pile. "Al would have nightmares for months if he saw this place!"

Roy didn't believe Al really needed to hear about it.

"Okay, that does it." Ed clapped his hands and slapped them to the floor. In a flash of alchemical light, the floor of the entire apartment was a clean, beige color once more, and the filmy layer of dust covering it (except for small pathways of cleaner carpet that marked the more constantly traveled routes Mustang took) had been transmuted into a ball of clumped dirt about the size of a beach ball. A large beach ball. Ed casually tossed the dirt ball into another garbage bag.

Roy marveled at the state of his floor. It was so clean! He didn't even remember that his carpet was that nice beige color!

Ed looked around and sighed despondently. "This is going to take a while," he griped, grabbing a clean (!) handkerchief from the linen closet and tying it around his hair like a bandanna to keep his long bangs out of his face. "Might as well get started," Ed informed the cat. "I hate cleaning…Al usually does it…" he muttered.

The bandanna amused Roy immensely. It was a good look for Fullmetal. Rather…endearing. Never mind – Roy dismissed the thought, leaping to the top of a stool to watch (supervise) the cleaning process.

With a few more alchemical claps and flashes, Ed set about tidying up Roy's apartment. Clothes were hung up properly (smelly ones were dumped in the laundry basket to be cleaned alchemically later), and plants on the verge of expiration were granted a second chance at life. Windows were opened to let out the stagnant air, and the dishes were set to soak in soapy water before being dried with alchemy. Piles and heaps of books and alchemy journals were put away in the bookshelf where they belonged, and not on the floor or hiding between the cushions of the couch with spare change.

"Sacrilege," Ed muttered darkly as he carefully put the bookshelves back to rights.

After a few hours of cleaning, Ed finally pronounced Roy's apartment to be habitable. Roy was impressed. He'd have to have Ed over more often to do this again, he thought with some amusement. Maybe he could bribe him…

"I'm exhausted," Ed declared, facing the cat. "I think it's time for food." Roy couldn't agree more. Food was good. Food was always good.

A few claps later and dinner was on the newly cleared table. Roy was even more impressed. He wondered if Ed would consider being his permanent roommate. Food and room service. He could get used to that. Roy began to think of ways to blackmail, lure, or outright force Ed into it. Hmm. Yes. That could possibly work…

"Here, Spitfire," Ed said, fixing a plate for Roy. Roy purred happily, dismissing his thoughts. Human food! Yay! He snarfed it down, gulping down the small chunks of meat ravenously, finishing in record time and licking his chops with considerable. Delish. Not only was Ed convenient to have around, he was a DAMN good cook.

Finishing about the same time, Ed chuckled at Roy's appetite, and smoothed the sleek fur of his new cat gently along the cat's spine. Roy almost choked with shock as his back arched up involuntarily under Edward's fingers. That…that – he thought in a befuddled daze, eyes gleaming – that felt...so insanely, almost criminally, gooooood. He purred deep in his throat to show his appreciation, dark eyes at half-mast.

"You liked that, huh?" Ed grinned, obliging his now happily purring cat by gently raking his fingers down the cat's spine again. Forget higher thought. Roy couldn't even think past the sensory tsunami flooding his circuit. Every coherent thought fled his mind and he utterly liquefied, melting onto his side to give Ed better access to his back. Damn – if being an animal meant he got this sort of treatment, Roy was awfully tempted to stay a cat. Maybe he wouldn't broil Zayna…he'd roast her instead. It was certainly a step up. She'd still be halfway recognizable, Roy thought spitefully. Cats are vengeful creatures, after all. He was only keeping in character.

Ed was looking at Roy's new collar, as he stroked the purring feline's back. "You know…I think your collar's missing something," he mused thoughtfully. Roy meowed a question mark. It looked fine to him. But then again, his apartment also looked fine to him. If Edward thought the collar needed something, it probably did.

"I know!" Ed grinned, snapping his fingers. "You stay," he ordered Roy. Roy's paws twitched unhappily. Noooo! He wanted more back rakes! He meowed almost plaintively. Come back human slave!

Oh dear. He didn't just think that… Was this how cats really thought of people? Or were these his subconscious thoughts? Roy groaned internally. The line between his original, controlled self and the emotions emanating from the cat blending was getting finer and finer… At this rate, Roy wasn't all too sure that his actions weren't stemming from his own desires instead of a cat's.

Edward was poking around Mustang's desk while Roy was having his moral crisis. He knew he saw it somewhere…ah! Here it was! He walked back over to the cat, still lying on his side with his dark eyes looking perplexed for some reason.

Roy looked at the coin Edward put on the table with disinterest. A coin? Granted it was a bright, shiny, silver coin, but what had a coin to do with him? Now, back rakes…that was a different matter!

Edward looked very pleased with himself as he clapped and touched the coin gently with a gloved fingertip. "There."

Roy's curiosity was aroused. He flowed to his feet with the innate grace of the feline race, and leapt onto Ed's back to peer over his shoulder.

Ed grinned at him. "It's your military dog tag, Spitfire," he informed the interested cat. Roy blinked large eyes at the transmuted coin.

Instead of an engraving noting its monetary denomination, it now bore Roy's trademark alchemical symbol – inverted decorated triangles surrounded by a dancing flame and a salamander representing the fire elemental. There was a small clip at the top of the coin to attach it to the collar. On the back of the coin was his new name, "Spitfire" spelled out in military style text along with Roy's address and Ed's name. It was so…appropriate.

Roy fell in love with it immediately. He was normally not so materialistic, but it was beautiful – it was absolutely beautiful, perfect, and best of all – it was for him! He meowed impatiently. Mine! Gimme!

"Okay, okay," Ed laughed, hooking the tag onto Roy's collar and patting him on the head. "You don't know the meaning of patience, now do you?"

Roy looked at him deadpan. Duh. When he said jump, he wanted his men in the air before asking how high. It was the nature of command.

"You know, we're a lot alike," Ed told the cat with a rueful smile, sitting down on the newly cleaned sofa.

Roy-the-cat felt he had to agree. He meowed, and then crawled into Edward's lap, hoping for more back rakes.

"The scary thing is, you're a lot like the Colonel also," Ed said quietly, petting the cat's ears gently. Roy tilted his head to give Ed better access to sensitive spots. "Which makes me think, the Colonel and I are very much alike too. Maybe that's why we fight all the time and can't stand each other," he said lightly.

Roy was shocked. What? He liked Edward. He felt rather hurt that Edward thought Roy couldn't stand him. It hurt even more to think that Edward apparently couldn't stand Roy. His ears drooped.

"It's not like he's really mean to me," Ed continued, wondering why his cat looked so downcast all of a sudden. "It's just that he's always going out of his way to push me away and act like I'm a little boy who needs to be protected and he's the one who got stuck with the dirty work."

Now that was unfair! Roy's tail swished irritably as his ears went back up. Edward was only fifteen, and that was much, much too young to have had to face all the horrors that Ed had already faced. As an adult and Edward's military superior, it was Roy's duty to protect that fragilely young, albeit brilliant, mind from further horrors.

Besides, he loved to watch over the Elric brothers – unlike dating, there was never a dull moment and it required all his mental abilities to keep one step ahead of them, especially the irrepressible Edward. He meowed and stood on his hind legs to try and bat Edward in the face for the injustice of that statement. It was only fair.

"Okay, okay…" Ed told the now irritated cat, gently grasping a little white paw on the verge of hitting his nose. "I know, I know – I know the Colonel has his reasons. It's just that I'd like to hear his reasons instead of always being left in the dark and pushed away by his sarcasm," he said wistfully. "He tries so damn hard to be distant from everyone."

Roy's fur was almost standing up on end. This was sounding familiar…too much like what Zayna had said, in fact.

"It's almost as if he's afraid that they'll go too far for him and pay the ultimate price, and he's afraid that it'll be his fault so he keeps trying to make the emotional distance between them all greater to protect them and himself. He's…kind that way, I guess. It must be because of the Ishbal war," Ed said to the now very mystified feline. "It still hurts that he doesn't trust me enough to confide in me," he added sadly.

Roy was completely floored. No, he wasn't just floored – he was flattened. What the hell? When had Edward become so perceptive? Or was Roy simply that transparent? He'd been so careful, building up his walls of distance, his emotional shields and impenetrable mask, over the years… Barriers that were there for a reason – to maintain his own sanity and to ensure that the horrors he'd been forced to endure during the Ishbal war wouldn't be visited upon the people he'd grown to think of as his family…

His team understood. Hawkeye, Havoc, and Hughes had all been there during the bloody conflict…they understood, and they returned him the unspoken favor. Even Armstrong did. Roy knew that Zayna had only been trying to needle him so he dismissed her, but Edward…Edward was too young to comprehend the necessity of walls; his face was such an open book and a pleasure to read, every emotion, expression and thought written out on his features for the world to see. Roy wanted to protect that aspect of Edward, who had already seen more than a boy his age should. Yet the only way to protect him was to keep him in the dark at times. And to think, Edward thought that Roy had been pushing him away this whole time because he didn't trust him…

Roy's chest hurt. He didn't know exactly why it hurt so badly, but it did. Edward's opinion mattered a lot to him. Roy would rather have no one at his back than Edward Elric. Even Hawkeye and Hughes, though his oldest friends and most reliable comrades, just weren't Edward. Hawkeye would coolly eliminate his enemies with impeccably fired shots, and Hughes would uncover any hidden plot against Mustang and his signature knives would divest the plotters of any satisfaction if the situation called for it, but Edward – Edward would dive right into the thick of things at his side, with a grin to match Roy's own, probably causing more than his fair share of the resulting damage and stealing all the glory… He trusted Edward – with his life at times, even! How could Edward think otherwise?

Damn it all! He didn't need this! He didn't need this confusion and inexplicable heartache. Edward was just being childish about wanting to know everything! Roy agitatedly butted his furry little head against Edward's chin to try and shut him up. No more! This was all Zayna's fault! She was going to pay for all of this and the list was only getting longer! Oh yes, she was back to death-by-broiling…maybe even cremating. Yeah. That was slower.

Edward suddenly chuckled, surprising Roy out of his morose thoughts and breaking the strange tension in the air. "It's weird to think of the Colonel as 'kind', but he is," Ed grinned suddenly at the shocked cat. "He just tries to hide it behind all that arrogance. You know what I saw him do once?" Ed was now cackling. "He snuck out of the office to buy those damn truffles he hoards in his desk. He was outside his favorite store, when he saw these two homeless little kids looking in the shop window next door at the bread."

Roy stared at Ed, stunned. Never mind just how Edward knew that he hoarded truffles in his desk...but how had Roy missed the fact that he was being followed? He'd been so careful to sneak out so Hawkeye wouldn't catch him…

"He looked at the truffles in the window, then at the money he was holding, then at the two little kids. Then he looked all around to make sure no one would see him, before walking into the bread shop and buying several loaves of bread, which he gave to the kids. I've never seen bigger smiles on kids' faces…" Ed grinned reminiscently. "They thanked him over and over, while he just had the most impassive look on his face. Once they ran off though, I saw him smile. I mean, really smile. It was great. He didn't even notice that I saw him from the window of the hardware shop across the street that Winry dragged me to, to get more screwdrivers," Ed snickered briefly.

Oh, the Gate forbid. Not only had Ed caught him in an act of altruism and had neither told anyone nor teased him about it mercilessly as Edward was wont to do, but also – it almost sounded like…Edward admired him for it? Impossible. Edward thought he was a bastard. Didn't he? Things were getting more and more complicated…

"I think that was probably the first time I saw him smile. Too bad he doesn't too it more often…he looks like a completely different person, not like the bastard he usually pretends to be. But he's always too busy trying to act distant to really smile." Ed had a rather affectionate smile on his own face, as he recounted the story to the cat sitting on his lap. "I keep trying to trick one out of him, but it's damn hard. All I get for my hard work are those infuriating smirks that make me want to transmute him into a pile of tinder…heh heh…watch him use his gloves then, the bastard…ha ha ha! Snap!"

Roy was now utterly bewildered. Edward liked his smile? What the hell? He gave a small jump over to the arm of the sofa so that he could look into Edward's laughing eyes and see if he could read some truth from them. Edward was always bad at hiding his emotions. Ed just looked back at the confused cat, golden eyes lazy with amusement. Damn. A cat's gaze surely wasn't as penetrating as his usual human one.

"Anyways, I'm going to sleep now," Ed informed the cat, who was looking at him like something that had suddenly grown two heads and both heads were carrying on an intelligent conversation. "You can sleep anywhere you like."

With that, Edward involuntarily gave a large yawn, and tossing his coat over the cat's head just to be aggravating, walked over to Mustang's bedroom and turned off the lights. "Goodnight, Spitfire," he called out, almost as an afterthought.

In the living room, Roy sat as still as a statue, still encased in the warmth of Edward's coat, which smelled distinctly of Ed – metallic undertones and clean soap– not an unpleasant scent, Roy's sensitive cat nose noted absently. He sighed, a mournful sound. He didn't think he was about to get any sleep tonight. He had a lot to think about.

To be con't...