Cair'an
How'lyn's been getting more and more frantic. 'I get the feeling he's losing control.' Still I have no choice but to report when and where he wishes. Sighing I shift on my stool and twirl the stick in my drink. This mini dress is very tight but it does get results. I smile at Tom across the room. He pauses in telling some brunette a story and winks at me, his grin growing twice as big. I nod back and take a sip of my drink. Eating keeps down my cravings even though it doesn't stop me from feeding. 'The taste isn't bad either.' I've discovered I do have a sense of taste though it is greatly diminished compared to humans. I shift my gaze around the dance floor of the Flat Planet looking for my other contacts. Coming to the Flat Planet is part of my schedule in gathering information. The other major sites I frequent are parks where I listen to people complain and gossip. Humans have such strange mannerisms but I believe I have mastered them.
Tom, one of the first humans I met after being dropped here, was kind to me those first few days when everything seemed so strange. He assumed I was from the country, because of the way I'd gawk at the most ordinary things, and I thought I needed help adjusting to the city. I learned from that and used it as my model in dealing with humans. Let them believe what fits their own perceptions. It works rather well because most of the time humans are impatient and if you are slow to say something they will fill in the blanks you leave.
I had to adopt a whole new personality to mix well with humans. My emotionless mask had shielded me from my people but was no use to me here where I had to be friendly and inviting to spy. I'm shy. At least that is what the people of the Flat Planet believe. I don't really know what shy is but supposedly I am. It's helpful because people are always taking me with them to group occasions to "bring me out of my shell". I did not know I was in one, another confusing human saying, but it is a handy excuse.
I do not like what I am doing. At first I viewed it as a necessary though unpleasant task to stay off the Mothership. Now I loathe this. I know these people and I do not want to betray them. The first three I brought to How'lyn's attention I did not know more than casually and their fates had not concerned me past my hatred of violence. Yesterday though Matthew confided in me that a new leader has revitalized the Resistance. He confirmed he belonged to the Resistance; I had suspicions for a long time. It was the reason I initially tried to get close to him, and he asked me to join. It took him a long time to trust me, he said. Now that he does I would do just about anything to break that trust. Because if I turn him in…I believe I will think even less of myself than I already do. The thought of betraying someone who trusts me makes my insides feel cold. As if it is the worst thing I could ever do. Part of me is standing up and screaming "NOT AGAIN" at the very thought. I don't know where the feeling comes from but I know it's very real. I could use generals to deliver the information without specifically saying where the information came from, but I do not believe Sandoval will fall for that. He will wonder whom I am protecting. In the end, it would do neither Matthew nor myself any good. Yet if I report nothing I will soon be deemed useless and disposed of no matter how hard and long I've worked to integrate myself into human society.
Tom has a saying about a rock and a hard place. I believe I am between those two now.
Dr. Curzon
A hammering at my door woke me. I clutched my robe ends and made my way to the door. I couldn't think of a single person who would be waking me up at midnight by coming to my front door. If it were the hospital they would have paged me. If it was anyone else, well picking up a global's a pretty easy task and I can't imagine anyone leaving their comfy bed to hand deliver a message. I didn't think to use the peephole. When I opened it on a dirty and bleeding figure with a gun clutched in his hand I cursed myself. My ex Kevin was always saying my unthinking actions were going to get me killed one day.
Light headed I stared at the man in my doorway and thought, 'For once he was right.' I found all I could do was stand frozen in shock as whoever it was lurched forward into my living room. It took more effort than I would have thought for the burglar to shut the door I had let go of in my alarm. I winced at the sound it made slamming shut but it got me moving again. I slowly started backing up towards my desk. Giddily I thought, 'If he doesn't shoot me right now I might even make it to my global. Just ten steps more.' I snorted inwardly. 'It won't do me much good once he sees I've got it and he shoots me before I've even open it. Still I've got to try.'
"Wait." I turned back to him. 'His voice is familiar…' I shook it off and focused on the man in front of me. He wasn't threatening me. His gun wasn't even pointed at me. No, his hand was extended towards me in a gesture of -he was pleading with me. Seeing my uncertainty his hand wavered for a moment, then he pulled back his hood. After my initial shock I debated whether or not to start for my global again. It was a short debate. I found myself going for my med kit instead. 'Oh come on Allison. He's betrayed humanity who knows how many times. He deserves a good kick you know where not some tender loving care from yours truly.' But in the end my medical instincts won out. I pulled Sandoval over to my couch and wrinkled my nose at the rank smell he omitted. I tried not to think of what my couch was going to look like later.
"My God, Sandoval you sure rolled in it." I firmly began dabbing some of the mud or… well I really didn't want to know what he was covered in … from around the wound on his forehead. I wasn't as gentle as I could have been and Sandoval flinched several times as I dug out the dirt but I figured if I was going to do this I wasn't going to be nice about it. It was petty of me but it made me feel better. His eyes drooped shut so many times as I was finishing up I was beginning to feel as if I was bandaging up a bobber, one of those toys you keep on your dash board, instead of a human. Obviously he was exhausted. Sacrificing my sofa, I stood up and gently pushed him down 'til he was horizontal. He tried to struggle but it became apparent quickly to both of us that he was as weak as a kitten. Sandoval looked up at me with eyes full of pain, sorrow, and fatigue and I found my heart reaching out to him once again. "Get some sleep. Doctor's orders." I groaned inwardly. I had spoken with more kindness than I had intended. He nodded weakly and closed his eyes. Seconds later I tucked in a fast asleep agent.
Glancing at Sandoval one more time I sighed, then made my way to the kitchen for some tea. After I poured myself a cup and sat down all my worries came to the forefront. Propping my head up on my hands I felt some of the tension in my head easing as the skin of my forehead stretched. My mother taught me this as a way to stop a headache. 'What the hell am I doing? And what am I going to do now? I know personally around a hundred people who would love to have his head on a platter. And what of the Atavus? You're no fool Alison. You know that's has to be who he's running from. I've heard all the tabloid sensation as easily as everyone else. Renee may not be the tenderest person but last I checked she wasn't insane. Liam's death didn't effect her that much.' I felt a pang at the thought of my former patient. I hadn't know him as long as Dr. Park or even Dr. Belman but I had liked and respected the man. When Renee first told me of his MIA status I'd irrationally thought he'd come back from the dead again. Now after all these months I'd pretty much realized it was just a physician's dream -- a friend's dream -- that he'd survived like Renee claimed. 'Do I tell him?' I stared at the wall that separated the kitchen from the living room trying unsuccessfully to get it to give the answers. 'There's patient/doctor confidentiality but Liam's dead and I know he always wanted to tell him. But if I do, how will Sandoval feel? He's tried to kill Liam so many times. How will he take having attempted to murder his child? It might be kinder not to tell him. Liam's dead. Maybe it is better to leave him the hope. But I'd rather know than wonder my whole life. Yee Gods, how did I go from considering turning him over to the police to wondering I should tell him about his son? For that matter why is everything a big question mark? And I became a doctor because I wanted answers.' I sighed again then leaned my head solely on my left hand and reached for my tea. 'Maybe I should have become an accountant like my mother wanted.'
How'lyn's been getting more and more frantic. 'I get the feeling he's losing control.' Still I have no choice but to report when and where he wishes. Sighing I shift on my stool and twirl the stick in my drink. This mini dress is very tight but it does get results. I smile at Tom across the room. He pauses in telling some brunette a story and winks at me, his grin growing twice as big. I nod back and take a sip of my drink. Eating keeps down my cravings even though it doesn't stop me from feeding. 'The taste isn't bad either.' I've discovered I do have a sense of taste though it is greatly diminished compared to humans. I shift my gaze around the dance floor of the Flat Planet looking for my other contacts. Coming to the Flat Planet is part of my schedule in gathering information. The other major sites I frequent are parks where I listen to people complain and gossip. Humans have such strange mannerisms but I believe I have mastered them.
Tom, one of the first humans I met after being dropped here, was kind to me those first few days when everything seemed so strange. He assumed I was from the country, because of the way I'd gawk at the most ordinary things, and I thought I needed help adjusting to the city. I learned from that and used it as my model in dealing with humans. Let them believe what fits their own perceptions. It works rather well because most of the time humans are impatient and if you are slow to say something they will fill in the blanks you leave.
I had to adopt a whole new personality to mix well with humans. My emotionless mask had shielded me from my people but was no use to me here where I had to be friendly and inviting to spy. I'm shy. At least that is what the people of the Flat Planet believe. I don't really know what shy is but supposedly I am. It's helpful because people are always taking me with them to group occasions to "bring me out of my shell". I did not know I was in one, another confusing human saying, but it is a handy excuse.
I do not like what I am doing. At first I viewed it as a necessary though unpleasant task to stay off the Mothership. Now I loathe this. I know these people and I do not want to betray them. The first three I brought to How'lyn's attention I did not know more than casually and their fates had not concerned me past my hatred of violence. Yesterday though Matthew confided in me that a new leader has revitalized the Resistance. He confirmed he belonged to the Resistance; I had suspicions for a long time. It was the reason I initially tried to get close to him, and he asked me to join. It took him a long time to trust me, he said. Now that he does I would do just about anything to break that trust. Because if I turn him in…I believe I will think even less of myself than I already do. The thought of betraying someone who trusts me makes my insides feel cold. As if it is the worst thing I could ever do. Part of me is standing up and screaming "NOT AGAIN" at the very thought. I don't know where the feeling comes from but I know it's very real. I could use generals to deliver the information without specifically saying where the information came from, but I do not believe Sandoval will fall for that. He will wonder whom I am protecting. In the end, it would do neither Matthew nor myself any good. Yet if I report nothing I will soon be deemed useless and disposed of no matter how hard and long I've worked to integrate myself into human society.
Tom has a saying about a rock and a hard place. I believe I am between those two now.
Dr. Curzon
A hammering at my door woke me. I clutched my robe ends and made my way to the door. I couldn't think of a single person who would be waking me up at midnight by coming to my front door. If it were the hospital they would have paged me. If it was anyone else, well picking up a global's a pretty easy task and I can't imagine anyone leaving their comfy bed to hand deliver a message. I didn't think to use the peephole. When I opened it on a dirty and bleeding figure with a gun clutched in his hand I cursed myself. My ex Kevin was always saying my unthinking actions were going to get me killed one day.
Light headed I stared at the man in my doorway and thought, 'For once he was right.' I found all I could do was stand frozen in shock as whoever it was lurched forward into my living room. It took more effort than I would have thought for the burglar to shut the door I had let go of in my alarm. I winced at the sound it made slamming shut but it got me moving again. I slowly started backing up towards my desk. Giddily I thought, 'If he doesn't shoot me right now I might even make it to my global. Just ten steps more.' I snorted inwardly. 'It won't do me much good once he sees I've got it and he shoots me before I've even open it. Still I've got to try.'
"Wait." I turned back to him. 'His voice is familiar…' I shook it off and focused on the man in front of me. He wasn't threatening me. His gun wasn't even pointed at me. No, his hand was extended towards me in a gesture of -he was pleading with me. Seeing my uncertainty his hand wavered for a moment, then he pulled back his hood. After my initial shock I debated whether or not to start for my global again. It was a short debate. I found myself going for my med kit instead. 'Oh come on Allison. He's betrayed humanity who knows how many times. He deserves a good kick you know where not some tender loving care from yours truly.' But in the end my medical instincts won out. I pulled Sandoval over to my couch and wrinkled my nose at the rank smell he omitted. I tried not to think of what my couch was going to look like later.
"My God, Sandoval you sure rolled in it." I firmly began dabbing some of the mud or… well I really didn't want to know what he was covered in … from around the wound on his forehead. I wasn't as gentle as I could have been and Sandoval flinched several times as I dug out the dirt but I figured if I was going to do this I wasn't going to be nice about it. It was petty of me but it made me feel better. His eyes drooped shut so many times as I was finishing up I was beginning to feel as if I was bandaging up a bobber, one of those toys you keep on your dash board, instead of a human. Obviously he was exhausted. Sacrificing my sofa, I stood up and gently pushed him down 'til he was horizontal. He tried to struggle but it became apparent quickly to both of us that he was as weak as a kitten. Sandoval looked up at me with eyes full of pain, sorrow, and fatigue and I found my heart reaching out to him once again. "Get some sleep. Doctor's orders." I groaned inwardly. I had spoken with more kindness than I had intended. He nodded weakly and closed his eyes. Seconds later I tucked in a fast asleep agent.
Glancing at Sandoval one more time I sighed, then made my way to the kitchen for some tea. After I poured myself a cup and sat down all my worries came to the forefront. Propping my head up on my hands I felt some of the tension in my head easing as the skin of my forehead stretched. My mother taught me this as a way to stop a headache. 'What the hell am I doing? And what am I going to do now? I know personally around a hundred people who would love to have his head on a platter. And what of the Atavus? You're no fool Alison. You know that's has to be who he's running from. I've heard all the tabloid sensation as easily as everyone else. Renee may not be the tenderest person but last I checked she wasn't insane. Liam's death didn't effect her that much.' I felt a pang at the thought of my former patient. I hadn't know him as long as Dr. Park or even Dr. Belman but I had liked and respected the man. When Renee first told me of his MIA status I'd irrationally thought he'd come back from the dead again. Now after all these months I'd pretty much realized it was just a physician's dream -- a friend's dream -- that he'd survived like Renee claimed. 'Do I tell him?' I stared at the wall that separated the kitchen from the living room trying unsuccessfully to get it to give the answers. 'There's patient/doctor confidentiality but Liam's dead and I know he always wanted to tell him. But if I do, how will Sandoval feel? He's tried to kill Liam so many times. How will he take having attempted to murder his child? It might be kinder not to tell him. Liam's dead. Maybe it is better to leave him the hope. But I'd rather know than wonder my whole life. Yee Gods, how did I go from considering turning him over to the police to wondering I should tell him about his son? For that matter why is everything a big question mark? And I became a doctor because I wanted answers.' I sighed again then leaned my head solely on my left hand and reached for my tea. 'Maybe I should have become an accountant like my mother wanted.'