Wheeee! Thanks for all of the reviews! XD In return, Roy is one very bad kitty cat today.
A/N: The next chapter will be out sometime on Monday...I'm trying to change tones and that's always a bit of a headache...
Felis Catus: Circle Four
As the sunlight streamed in through the window, Roy lazily opened one eye and for a moment, lay still, wondering where he was. Then the events since that disastrous dinner came filtering back into his mind slowly, and Roy almost felt like he ought to go back to sleep and pretend it all just a bad dream. However, his stomach had other plans.
Lifting his head and perking his ears up, he peered around at his surroundings. Hmm. He was on his own double bed, sleeping on the nice, fluffy pillow…and next to his pillow, snoring softly, was…Edward Elric. Roy blinked. Whoa. Back up there.
Roy thought back to the previous night. He'd been unable to sleep – cats being mostly nocturnal creatures and Roy having had quite a bit more to think about than the average cat. Not the least of which, the revelations Edward has unwittingly provoked. He'd chased after his thoughts like a cat after a mouse (ignoring his choice of words), but had only wound up more confused than ever. In that state of confusion, he'd roamed the apartment until the wee hours of the morning, before finally retreating to his room, where Edward was sound asleep.
Curiously, Roy had never seen the normally restive Fullmetal fast asleep. The bright moon filtered in through the windows, illuminating the planes of his face with a pleasing contrast of light and shadows and highlighting the smoothly tranquil expression on Edward's face. It was…very odd, but somehow, Roy found it peaceful and reassuring. Lulling. So he had curled up on the other pillow and simply watched Edward sleep, until he'd drifted off to sleep himself at last.
Looking at the sleeping Edward again, Roy found himself almost inexplicably mesmerized by the sight. Even visually, Edward was a paradox. His automail was all cold, silvery metal, while his natural coloring was all golden hues and warm tones. Like his hair. Careless strands of molten gold, fanned out all over the pillow from the loosened braid…just begging to be touched. Roy's paws twitched almost involuntarily. It…it wouldn't hurt to just…bat at it, would it? It looked…so inviting. Especially that little piece that always seemed to want to stick up straight in the air…
Roy couldn't help himself. He slunk over the pillow and carefully lifted a strand of Edward's hair with one cautious paw. Soft! Roy was delighted. He lifted another strand with his other paw. Then dropped the first strand and went for another. And another. Even faster! Whee! This was fun!
"Stop it, cat…" Edward muttered sleepily. Roy froze in shock. Oh, the Gate forbid…what had he been thinking, playing with Edward's hair like that? Was he insane? He really had no excuse, even if he was, technically, now a cat, with obviously cat-like instincts. He felt almost ashamed at his lack of self-control…positively guilty, in fact…
…That is, to say, until he looked at Edwards's hair again. His paws twitched longingly, eyes widening and pupils contracting into thin slits. It was only hair, for goodness sakes! Roy chastised himself firmly, but he couldn't stop staring at those golden strands.
Oh yes, it was only hair – but it was such perfect hair... That lovely golden color of it, the way the sunlight hit it at just the right angle, the way it flew into the air as he batted it…
"STOP it, cat." This time Edward growled. Roy flinched guiltily and stared at his paw in amazement. Again! How…how had his infernal paw betrayed him by batting Edward's hair without him noticing? What was wrong with him! Yes, he had been blended into a cat, yes his feline tendencies were overriding his human ones, yes, he was letting his urges, whether conscious or subconscious, get the better of him, yes, yes and yes! But he was still in control, damn it! And just to prove it…
Roy looked back at Edward's tempting hair, almost with agony. Yes…mind over matter. Roy was in perfect control of his own actions. He was the youngest person promoted to Colonel in the military, the infamous Flame Alchemist, a hero of the Ishbal war and the most notorious bachelor in Central. He could resist the temptation of hair. Yes, most definitely. It was all about…control.
Golden strands flew in the air once more.
"If that paw touches my hair ONE more time, I'm going to cut it off and turn it into a key chain, CAT."
Ouch! Roy withdrew his paw immediately, and sulked. Fine then. If he couldn't play, then he could at least eat. That being his original intention, of course.
Feed me, he demanded, leaping over Edward's shoulder to nose him in the face with his cold little kitty nose. Edward groaned, and turned the other way. Feed me! Roy insisted, jumping over and nosing him again.
"Oh, come on!" Ed moaned, flopping onto his back. "It's too early to get up …"
Roy was confused. It was almost 1000 hours. What in the world was Edward thinking? Edward must not be a morning person. But dammit, Roy was hungry!
Roy leapt onto Edward's chest, and sat there stubbornly, staring intently into Ed's face.
Wake up… Feed me… Wake UP… FEED ME… Roy thought fiercely, trying to project his commands into Edward's mind.
Ed opened one eye blearily, and ignored the cat. Roy's tail swished impatiently. Nope. This obviously wouldn't work either. He was hungry, and by the Gate, he was going to get fed!
Things had gone far enough. Roy decided that he'd better take matters into his own paws at this point. Ed was clearly not getting up without help. Fine. If Ed was going to be like that…
Roy stilled, and lowered his body into a predator's studious crouch, his tail slowly waving in the air as he observed his trying-to-go-back-to-sleep prey with an almost clinical detachment. Hmmmm.
With some careful consideration, Roy decided some experimentation was in order. With slow, languid grace, he slid over Edward's collarbone and…
"AUGH! STOP THAT!" Ed howled, trying to squirm away from a sandpaper tongue in his ear. "That tickles!"
Roy smirked internally. Ah. He thought Fullmetal was the ticklish sort. How gratifying to be right.
"OKAY you damn cat! I'll feed you! Just leave me alone!" Ed huffed, before grouchily pulling a pair of baggy pants over his boxers and heading towards the kitchen, Roy hot on his heels.
Success is a measure of determination, after all.
Edward glared at his new housemate across the table. The black cat quite happily ignored him in favor of savoring his breakfast. It had taken some hard work and determination, but Roy was pleased to note that he was still able to have people obey his wishes, despite now being four-footed and furry.
"I hope you're happy right now, you furball…" Ed muttered darkly, his usually large, expressive eyes squinted almost shut from irritation and in his mind, lack of sleep. He supposed he could make himself a cup of coffee, but right now even coffee sounded like too much work.
I most certainly am. Roy's tail waved about in the air languorously, acknowledging Edward's culinary contribution to his feline well-being. Quite happy, by the way – thank you for asking, Edward.
"You'd better be," Ed informed the blissful cat irritably. "I'm going back to bed. Don't wake me up till it's past noon or I'll turn you into a pelt."
What! It was almost 1100 hours! Roy wasn't about to be stuck in the apartment for another hour or more! He wanted out! He had cat business to attend to! Especially seeing as he had probably eaten too much and really, really needed to find a nice, outdoor, most preferably private bush to do his cat business, thank you very much!
Roy immediately jumped down off the table, running after Edward and tangling himself between Ed's legs, meowing plaintively.
"What NOW?" Ed groused. "I fed you! You're a cat – go back to sleep!"
You wish, Roy thought with an internal huff. I am 100 human…I only LOOK like a cat at the moment and it's not MY fault! Besides, if you don't let me out of the apartment, right now, I'm going to…
"Ack! Don't you dare!" Ed exclaimed in horror, as the cat made his way over to Ed's boots and quite pointedly lifted up his tail. "Okay, okay! You can go outside! Just don't bother me!"
Ed opened up the apartment door and the cat slowly walked through it, giving Edward a very satisfied look. Humans were SO easy to train, given a little incentive.
"Move it," Ed grumbled, giving the cat a nudge with his foot.
Oh, Edward was going to pay for that…Roy thought irritably. But, first things first. He padded off through the hallway and down the stairs, waiting for someone to open the door outside before carefully sliding through and heading off towards the greenery at the back of the apartment complex.
Who needed a litter box? Not him!
As soon as his more pressing needs were resolved, Roy decided a bit of exploring to be in proper order. After all, one surely must know what one's neighbors are doing, and who would ever suspect a cat?
Roy was pleased. He absolutely despised his neighbors.
The heavy knocking at the door wasn't going away, Edward noted with considerable detachment. In fact, it was getting louder.
Edward groaned under the pillow he'd placed firmly on his head. "Okay, okay, I'm coming…" he gripped, lifting himself off the bed slowly and sliding into his casual pair of baggy pants.
He opened the door, still groggy, and blinked. In front of him was a group of angry people, one of whom was griping a very self-satisfied black cat that looked disturbingly familiar. Edward was awfully tempted to pretend that it wasn't his cat. Unfortunately, Roy chose that moment to leave several long red claw marks on the arms on the person holding him, who of course, let go of him with a curse.
Roy jumped immediately into the safety of Edward's arms and turned to face his audience with a disdainful little hiss. Ha! Just try to get him NOW, Roy thought delightedly, with no small amount of pleasure.
"Is that mangy beast your cat, young man?" a nasty little old lady with a face like a prune asked, waving a cane in Ed's face threateningly.
Roy wished he could activate the array on his collar. That dried up old hag sure would make a wonderful piece of kindling…and it was starting to get cold at nights…too bad he couldn't snap his claws…
Ed shrugged uncomfortably, feeling rather annoyed at the old lady's rudeness, before setting Roy down on the floor. "Maybe. Depends on what he did."
Roy smirked internally. It really was more of a question of what he hadn't done. Well, he hadn't intended to get caught, but that particular question was rather academic at this point.
At Edward's prompting, however, the people at the door were quite eager to expound upon exactly what the cat had done, not the least of which involved the destruction of a brand-new set of curtains, the misappropriation and subsequent embarrassing distribution of the contents of a laundry line, the pilfering of a box of truffles, numerous numbers of potted plants tumbled from windowsills…the list went on. And on. And on…
Edward was thinking very seriously of saying that he'd never seen the cat before in his life. Unfortunately, conscience won out.
"Ummm…yeah. He's my cat. I'm really, really sorry about what he's done…"
Roy was flabbergasted. Edward has just apologized for him? Behold, ladies and gentleman – a miracle. However, the crowd was not in the proper mood to appreciate said miracle, Roy noted regretfully. Philistines.
"You're going to have to fix what he's done, boy!" A burly man with a scraggly beard announced angrily. "Or I'll make mincemeat out of him!"
Ed's head snapped around to look at the man. "You'll do what?"
"I'll make mincemeat out of him, I said!" the man repeated blusteringly. "Did you hear me, you little bean?"
Roy prudently inched away from Edward, who had turned a funny color as soon as he heard the word "little", followed by "bean".
"And we'll all help!" another woman in the back of the group called out. "Little boys should be properly responsible for such creatures! And if you can't confine that cat properly, well then you'll just have to get it put down!"
Roy backed away further from Edward. That wasn't a color he'd ever seen on Fullmetal's face before, and here Roy thought he'd had the honor of seeing the entire spectrum…
Calls of "Yeah!" and "Right on!" could be heard echoing within the crowd.
"Well now," Ed nodded sagely. "I guess that changes matters quite a bit." He grinned at the crowd, a very sharp-toothed and nastily homicidal type of grin, Roy was thrilled to note. Oh yeah, front row seat to the massacre, baby…
With a clap of his hands, Edward then slapped his palms on the ground to pull up his favorite weapon – a heavy-bladed spear, decorated with writhing dragons. "Now, what were you saying about making mincemeat out of MY cat?" he said in a deceptively mild tone, the grin never leaving his face as he leveled the weapon at the burly man. "And just WHO are you calling LITTLE, eh!" he snarled, inching the weapon forward to poke at the man's gut.
"Isn't it obvious?" the man sneered down at the fuming alchemist, obviously not recognizing his mortal danger.
Edward placed the spear to the side of the door momentarily, before cracking his knuckles almost gleefully. "It's all a matter of perspective," he informed the man, proceeding to demonstrate just exactly what he meant by "perspective".
Roy found it rather intriguing that yes, in fact – it really was all a matter of perspective. The twitching pile that used to be his odious neighbor was now, most definitely – smaller than Edward. Almost smaller than him, really, Roy assessed critically. How remarkable. Unfortunately, Edward had shown exceptional self-control, for once – Roy could still make out his neighbor's features. Such a pity.
Edward dusted off his gloves matter-of-factly, before turning to nail his darkest glare towards the rapidly retreating group of Roy's neighbors. He picked up the spear again and leaned on it.
"Who ELSE wants to comment on my lack of height, lack of responsibility, or anything else? I'm more than happy to put things further into perspective… Heh. Heh heh…" It was not a sane laugh by any stretch of the imagination. Just to be more helpful, Roy batted the mangled pile of neighbor towards the group. With outstretched claws, of course…just in case they didn't yet get the point.
Everybody at the door backed away quickly. Roy made a small sound of amusement at his neighbors' cowardice. Paper tigers…
"Well?" Ed sneered, leaning a bit more heavily on the spear. "I'm waiting…"
Everybody looked at each other, shook their heads, and beat a hasty retreat back to the relative safety of their apartments. "Didn't think so."
Yep. Edward was a very convenient person to have around, Roy concluded smugly.
Ed closed the door after the fleeing persons. "I know it was your fault," he informed the cat pointedly, without looking, as he made the spear disappear with another clap.
Roy shrugged philosophically. Wasn't as if they didn't have it coming to them, he seemed to say.
"But if they're going to be that way about it, then I'm sure they more than deserved anything and everything you did to them," Ed concluded with some satisfaction and another vicious smile, to Roy's surprise. "No one threatens MY cat and gets away with it," he grumbled.
Roy was touched. Maybe he should have saved Edward some of those delicious truffles. Well, maybe next time. Assuming Edward ever let him out again.
Oh well. There were always windows to sneak out of…and into.
To be con't...