Archive: Ask nicely and ye shall receive...
Category: Humor/Drama
Pairings: Ed/Roy
Warnings: Language (mild), shonen ai...the usual.
Spoilers: None in this chapter
Notes: Next chapter hopefully out by Friday/Sat?
Feedback: Constructive feedback is very welcome

Felis Catus: Circle Six
"Stay!" Edward ordered his stubborn cat, as he tried to inch out of the door.

Roy was having none of it. He was going with Edward, come hell or high water or giant chimeras, and Edward didn't have to like it. He just had to accept it.

"Do you KNOW what chimeras are, cat?" Edward said furiously. "They're these HUGE, monstrously created hybrids of all sorts of animals, who eat little kitty cats like YOU for breakfast! You're an appetizer, got it? There's no way I'm letting you come with me!"

Roy didn't think the point was worth arguing. Edward was the size of a chimera hors devours, after all. Probably tastier too, since Edward wasn't covered with cat hair.

He yowled, as Edward tried once more to slide out of the door, jamming the front portion of his small body out of the crack to prevent Ed from closing the door on him.

"GET BACK IN THERE!" Ed shouted in exasperation, picking up the now furiously hissing cat and depositing him back in the apartment. "I don't have time for this!"

There was a simple solution to that problem – give up and let him go along! Roy thought acidly. Really, Fullmetal only got more and more stubborn!

Roy ignored the fact that his calling Edward stubborn was really quite similar to a pot calling a kettle black. After all, Edward needed someone there to watch his back, and Roy wasn't about to become derelict in his duty starting now! Cat or no cat, he was responsible for Edward's safety and by the Gate, he was going! That was THAT!

Roy hissed, heading straight for the door again as soon as Edward put him down.

"Okay, that does it!" Edward clapped, and hit the floor to create a small cage around Roy, who managed to jump out of the way in time. Phew! That was close!

But the fun wasn't over yet.

Clapping and slapping his hands on any surface he could reach, Edward advanced on the cat, who somehow nimbly leaped out of the way of the incoming alchemical reactions.

Roy knew Edward's tactics. He kept a careful eye out to make sure Edward wasn't herding him towards a hidden trap. The reflexes of his cat blending were coming in mighty handy right now.

All good things must come to an end though. Edward's reflexes were just as lightening fast as any cat's, and he had more close combat battle experience than Roy, who specialized in distance combat. Just as Roy was getting used to dodging the alchemical attacks, Edward focused his attention and with one quick motion, physically grabbed Roy by the scruff of the neck.

Roy howled in outrage, as Edward dropped him into a cage. Not fair!

"There!" Ed said with profound satisfaction, wiping the sweat off his brow. Crazy cat… Now he'd have to run to meet up with Major Armstrong and the rest of Mustang's team.

"I'll see you in the morning!" Edward yelled at the sulking cat as he rushed out the door.

The door slammed shut with a deafening bang.

We'll see about that, Roy thought angrily. He began to stalk about the cage like a small lion, looking around him thoughtfully. Hmmmm. Yes. This could work.

Roy immediately set about getting himself out of the infernal contraption and playing catch up with a certain stubborn, blond-haired alchemist. Ooh, just wait until he caught up with that…that… For once in his life, words failed to express Roy's indignation.

"By the Gate, that psycho cat!" Edward complained to Major Armstrong, as he reached the top of the central clock tower, where everyone was already present and preparing for the operation. "He wouldn't let me out of the apartment without him, and this is no operation for a cat!"

Hawkeye smiled up at Edward from the floor, where she was quickly and efficiently loading her arsenal of sniper rifles. "Hayate wouldn't let me leave him behind either," she said ruefully. Hayate, sitting next to her, let out a stern bark. She patted him on the head affectionately. "Animals have a sixth sense for these sort of things.

"I guess so, but Hayate will be with you and safe in the clock tower, not out wandering around First District begging to be eaten!" Ed said hotly. "I…don't want that cat getting hurt." Edward wasn't quite sure why he had gotten so quickly attached to the troublesome little rascal, but somehow the thought of that small body mangled in the jaws of a chimera made him want to run back to the Colonel's apartment just to double check that Spitfire was still in his cage.

Intent on his diatribe, Edward missed the telltale slink of a small black shadow behind him merging with the other shadows along the walls. The rest of the group, all facing Edward, didn't.

Hughes grinned at Edward from the chair he was currently straddling backwards, his chin resting on the back of the chair, as if he was simply out enjoying the company of good friends instead of preparing for a chimera hunt. "Don't worry Ed – I'm sure that cat can take care of himself. He seems like he would have been good company on your rounds tonight. Maybe shredded a chimera or two with that attitude problem he's got…" Hughes winked at the cat, who flicked a tail at him in irritated amusement.

"Nah, he'd have been more like bait…" Ed laughed sardonically. "He's better off shut up in the Colonel's apartment."

Roy quite elegantly licked his paws and smoothed back his fur. Ah…wait for the cue…

"Er…Edward?" Fury said timidly, in the tone of one fearfully anticipating an outburst.

"What?" Ed turned towards him almost lazily.

Fury pointed hesitantly towards the shadows along the staircase. "Isn't that…your cat?"

Edward's head snapped around to where Fury was pointing. "Where?" he said incredulously.

The rest of the group hid small smiles.

Looked like the gig was up, Roy thought unrepentantly, as he detached himself from the shadows and sauntered forward to plant himself directly in front of Edward with a decidedly obstinate look on his feline face.

Edward sputtered incoherently while everyone laughed at his chagrin. "How did YOU get out of that cage?" he demanded of the smirking cat.

Roy's tail swayed side to side in satisfaction. Trade secret, he thought smugly.

Hughes was looking at the gloating cat thoughtfully. "How wide were those bars on the cage, Ed?" he asked, eyes narrowed.

Ed held his hands apart to show Hughes. "'Bout that much…"

"Hmmm…I think that was probably too wide then," Hughes said ruefully. "Cats are mostly fur and fur is mostly air – I'm sure he managed to squeeze through the bars rather easily and then he probably snuck out of a window. What I'm curious about is how he managed to find this place…"

Fine, make his great escape seem like child's play, Roy thought, with an indignant huff.

"That's true, huh…" Ed said after a moment's consideration. "Do you think he followed me?"

"I doubt it," Havoc said, stamping out his cigarette before loading his handgun. "He got here about the same time you did, which means he must have taken a shortcut or something."

"That's some strange cat you got there, Ed," Hughes laughed. "One could almost think he's human."

Roy sighed in resignation. I AM human, you fools…he sighed internally.

"Whatever," Ed muttered, giving his cat a black look. "Stupid cat…what were you thinking? Were you even thinking!"

The cat looked mortally offended at being called stupid, butting his head against Edward's leg before sitting back on his haunches and staring up at Edward reproachfully.

What? You don't want me here? After all the trouble I went through? Roy thought indignantly. I did this for YOU, you ungrateful, unappreciative, unthankful, un-understanding, unlovable, unknowing, un-tall, un…um. Roy inconveniently ran out of adjectives, covering his lapse with a small hiss. Hissing was so useful, sometimes.

Edward glared at the cat, who continued to stare at him with accusing eyes. "You're going to get eaten," he informed the cat warningly.

So are you, Roy informed him back impudently. We can race and see who becomes chimera chow first. I bet on you.

"Ah, hell," Ed sighed, scratching his head in exasperation. He looked back down at the cat, and surprised everyone, including Roy, by suddenly laughing out loud. "Alright, you damn animal," Ed said grinning, as he bent down to scoop up the infuriating cat. "You can come with me."

About damn time, Roy thought smugly, relaxing in Edward's arms. Funny how comfortable he felt there…

"I'm glad you came," Edward whispered softly in the cat's ear, so that only Roy would hear.

Me, too, Edward – me too. Roy purred in reply. It took some effort to bite back the "I told you so" but somehow Roy managed.

Barely.

To be con't...