I have to say sorry again for the time I took to update, I had my final exam, but now it is finished I have a lot of time, it won't happen again, I mean I'll try, lol... Anyway I still want to thank you for reading this story, it means a lot to me, so thank you, thank you...
Chapter 6
And grows again...
I watched as she disapeared slowly, out of the restaurant, the rhythm of the rain on the window echoing in my heart, as I realized that she wasn't only exiting the place but also leaving my life. I looked silently aroud me, the tables full of people I didn't know, people I didn't want to know, people who weren't her. People I didn't love. This small restaurant was my world, the life I had always lived. Me against the world. I felt sick.
The rain on the window, the rain, the rain, rain, rain ...
I had to catch her, I just had to, this wasn't about regret, it was about survival, about a promise which I had silently made to myself, years ago, and which appeared suddently so real, never forget her, and never spend a day not thinking about her. I wasn't about the dreams of a child changed in a young girl anymore, it was about the image of that young girl and me. Together. A new world, it was about a new world to discover.
The rain was hitting my face with its regular mouvement, beatting time with my run, forming tears on my cheeks, hidding the real ones. The rain accompagnied me, like a distant friend, a friend who understood me but who couldn't keep me warm anymore.
The tears, my heart, the rain, the rain ...
Her tears. She walked her gaze turned on the pavement, but her shoulders were shaking, maybe because of the cold too, her hair was soaked but never failed to wave, under the rain, she never failed to stay herself, beautiful, so beautiful. She stopped when she noticed my presence but she didn't look up, she wrapped her coat around herself a little more, her hands trembling. I knew I had to talk, I knew my life depended on the words I was going to say.
"Sarah..." My life depended on her.
Her name apeared to me like a sacred sound, like I could have reached the sky just by letting it escape my lips, but this time, it looked like a cry, a desprate prayer, it was a lot more than just her name at the moment, it as hers from the time she was far away, from the time I wasn't with her, it was her name from the little time she had came back and the one, right here, as she may again have disappeared.
The rain, the rain...
She could only answer with a sob, her shoulders shaking even more, if only I could respond with a hug, she looked up at the sky, replacing her wet hair behind her ears, reveling her sweet face, sadness drawed in her eyes more than I had already seen the day before.
"I just wanted... I just... I thought..." Her voice was full of tears, her head moving slowly like she needed to decide if she was talking to me or to herself. " I thought you would love me..." Her eyes met mine, we trully had the same eyes, both hurting from those years of seperation, both scared of what would happen, the same tears of pain. " I just wanted you to love me..." She almost whispered like she was confessing a dream from the past.
She wanted me to love her, if she only knew.
"I'm sorry..." Her hands were suddently very agitated, running in her hair, hidding in the pockets of her coat, she started to talk really fast, as the rain felt even more rapidly from the sky, it was it must have felt like to fall into disgrace... "I wanted to be like you are, I wanted you to be proud of me..."
She sounded like she would never stop talking, I slowly let my left hand rest on her left cheek, caressing it as if it was the most most percious good I had never touched, she closed her eyes tightly, tacking a small breath. Beautiful. I whispered with a full admiration. "I'm so proud of you..." She opened her eyes, I was going up, and I prononced the three words which raised me even higher. " And I love you... I love you so much, I've always loved you."
She wrapped her arms around me her hands clapsed in my back and buried her head in my neck, I slowly hugged her my fingers playing absently with her soft curls. "I love you." I could only smile and cry at the same time as I realized it was her voice which had say those worlds.
The rain had stopped to fall, like the world didn't need to cry anymore ,everything was soaked around us, traces of our own storm.
"You want to come to my house..." Please, please. She answered with a nod still in my neck.
And in my mind resounded her soft voice, I love you, I love you... I was what it must have felt like to reach sky.
No rain.
To be continuited...
Tell me what you think, please...
Perrine