Where the nothlit went

When Tobias came back to his senses he was gently cradled on Rachel's lap.

And he was back hawk.

With some relief, he ruffled a wing to show that he was awake, and could feel a hand gently tracing the side of his head. He opened his eyes.

I'm not dead, he commented. Then, suddenly uncertain, added; Am I?

"Of course not," Rachel murmured. She was smiling, but there was relief in her expression, and dark lines around her eyes that betrayed that she'd previously been very worried. Tom was lying next to her, watching Tobias with the same suspicious glare as always. Otherwise he looked moderately bored.

I thought that kii-raja would rip me apart.

Rachel frowned. "Why should she? The Kelbird who owned her was dead – there was no-one to boss her around. So she left – poor thing'll be confused, and disoriented, having lost her master, but that can't be helped."

I killed that Kelbrid, though, Tobias pointed out. He turned, grasping Rachel's arm with his talons and sitting up properly. The hawk did not like lying on his back. Not the smartest thing I've done.

Rachel shrugged. "She wasn't trained to protect. If she had been, you'd have been dead before raising that stone the first time, but most kii-raja aren't."

Why not?

"They tend to overdo things – you've got no idea how long it took me to convince Tom that someone trying to hand me a piece of food was not out to harm me. And you saw how he reacted when Jake started yelling. And Jake's a person he's been specifically told to leave alone."

Tobias accepted the answer, knowing very little about kii-rajas as it was, and regarded her with his fierce hawk gaze. How did I end up hawk again? Last thing I remember was thinking about that kii-raja.

"I think you demorphed while unconscious. That can happen sometimes, if I remember correctly. Lucky you did."

Only then did Tobias realise it had stopped raining. The sun was shining down by the horizon, colouring the sky red and gold. He was very hungry – and thirsty, too.

How long was I out? he asked lowly.

"Too long. Tom tells me it's dawn. We better find the others."

Tobias sighed mentally. You're probably right.

Rachel stood up in a fluent motion, lifting him up to her shoulder. Tom arose beside her, not as fluently, hindered by his wounds. But he was as alert as always, and when Rachel began walking her kii-raja did not leave her side. Tobias noted that the beast was still watching him suspiciously, and quietly resigned to endure those sharp golden eyes for the rest of his days, if it was necessary.

As long as he did not have to endure the sharp but not-so-golden teeth, he thought dryly, he'd be happy.

You said Menderash was what?! Jake exclaimed. Marco and Jeanne jumped back an entire step each. Santorelli and KEdi'ir watched him warily from a safe distance.

Gone, Marco said. He was gone. There was nothing we could do.

Jake stared at him. Then spun away with a frustrated snarl and paced a few steps; turned, and paced back. Jeanne, remind me again why you left him to begin with.

Jeanne hesitated, and spoke with a low voice; He wasn't exactly in prime condition, and I thought –

You THOUGHT! roared the leader of the Animorphs in a voice capable of waking the dead. In the neighbouring galaxy. There's the problem, then. You're not here to think. You're here to do as you're told!

Jeanne shrank back, panther ears folded back against her neck. It was the first time Jake was properly angered at her since they left Earth, since the mission had started – and it was not turning out to be a pleasant experience.

Marco spared a look at the panther and took a step between the two large cats. Lay off, Jake.

The tiger snarled at him and spun away to pace some more in an effort to calm down. He didn't succeed. He glared at Jeanne, claws flashing forwards and being retracted again.

You should at least have – he began.

Should at least have what? Jeanne wondered, deciding to toughen up, because she did not want Marco to think she needed any sort of protection – especially not from one of their own. He might get the wrong idea. He often did – probably on purpose, too. There's no time for 'should have's… they'll do us no good. We should find Menderash again… and quickly.

Any sign of Rachel or Tobias? Marco asked.

Jake shook his tiger head. That was another thing he had to worry about.

Think they're in trouble?

Tom's with them, Jeanne huffed. They won't get into any trouble they can't get out of.

They better be back soon, in any case, Jake said. We're not hanging around here much longer. It's already way past nightfall – probably even past midnight.

Jeanne, Santorelli, and Marco all stared at him, quizzically and warily, as if he'd gone mad. KEdi'I, who understood thought-speech even if he didn't understand English, leaned his head to the side, watching Jake with amusedly glittering black eyes.

Ehm… Jake? Jeanne said softly.

Yes?

The sun went up about half an hour ago. Didn't you notice?

Jake glanced up at the sky. The glance quickly turned into a glare, almost as if he wondered how dawn dared arrive without informing him in advance. Oh, was all he said, and he sounded like he was reprimanding himself a bit – for a change, Jeanne thought. It has.

Marco and Santorelli exchanged a glance. "You think he might at least have noticed that he's morphed and demorphed five times…" Santorelli muttered.

Marco nodded his agreement, grinning. But it seems our Fearless Leader is… preoccupied. Let's just hope he's not too preoccupied. He might not notice if we're attacked, either. And that would be… unpleasant.

I heard that, Jake warned.

Good, Marco said. Attentiveness is good.

Jake wished he'd been human so he could have rolled his eyes. Tiger eyes were simply not made for rolling.

Despite a sudden increase in security and guards everywhere, it didn't take Carali and Minalea long to get away from the aristh quarters, and to the corridor leading back to the docking station where they had left the Phantom. Carali wanted to reach the cruiser before Minalea had another crazy idea. There would not be a second War Prince Ailur to make her reconsider, and he wasn't sure he'd be able to hold her back.

It didn't take long, either, to realise that the corridor where the Phantom waited was filled with Controllers.

Luckily, Minalea had heard them before the two had barged right into them. But even though they avoided discovery by stopping near the turn of the corridor instead of entering it, it didn't help them get any closer to their cruiser.

What now? Minalea wondered.

You're asking me? Carali replied, exasperated at the entire situation. How am I supposed to know? He narrowly avoided slamming a back hoof against the floor in frustration. I've never done this before. This was not part of basic training!

The other aristh ignored him. Instead, she sent a private call out over the ship; Olana? Larynia?

Minalea! the reply came, not from Olana, but from Larynia. Why are you in thought-speech range? Aren't you at the Phantom?

I am trying to get back there, but this ship's crew isn't being very cooperative.

What did you do this time? came Estrid's strongly disapproving voice.

Doesn't matter, Larynia said. Minalea; listen. Are you alone?

No. With Carali.

Good, Larynia said, sounding relieved.

Good?

Hush. At least he knows how to use a tail. Listen. This ship is full of –

Yeerks, we know.

YEERKS? cried both Larynia and Estrid.

Minalea saw Carali flinch from the sudden outcry and realised he had heard the last parts of the conversation as well. Fair enough: he was on their side, after all. She hoped.

Don't tell me there's something else, too, she whined. Slugs are bad enough. Besides, what else can there be? Kelbird?

None that we've seen, Estrid assured her. We thought they were simply traitors, but Controllers… Anyway, we found something else. And I think he's a little worse than any Kelbrid could ever be.

What do you mean? Carali demanded.

We'll explain later, Larynia promised. Minalea, location?

Minalea grumbled a sentence describing where she and Carali were hiding.

Sounding very cheerful, Minalea, Carali commented privately. She honoured him with a stalk-glare.

Don't go anywhere, Estrid ordered. We'll be right there.

Go anywhere? Carali repeated sourly, expanding his voice beyond just Minalea. Where's to go? Nothing but Controllers in every direction.

He realised his mistake just in time to let his eyes grow wide.

Excellent analysis of the situation, aristh, sneered a voice. Next time, remember to use private thought-speech.

Carali and Minalea both heard the hurried mass of hoof steps that followed, coming closer from beyond the turn into the corridor where the Phantom waited.

You idiot! Minalea exclaimed. What did you do that for?

Carali just stared at her, himself wondering the same thing, but then turned his gaze towards the Andalites who were daintily stepping out of the docking stations' corridor.

Minalea danced away from them, stalks swivelling madly and main eyes darting from one to the other and back again. She seemed to be wondering if she should turn and run. Carali – on the other hand – drew a deep breath, arched his tail up and planted his hooves more firmly on the floor.

Don't complain, he gritted back at the other aristh. You did the same thing before – when War Prince Ailur heard us.

Minalea had already forgotten that. Larynia? she called. Estrid? You better not come down here. We have attracted some trouble.

Then you might need our help, Estrid reasoned. Try not to go too far away from where you are, and we'll be there as soon as possible. Do something – stall them.

We need to pass that 'trouble' in any case to reach the Phantom, right? Larynia added.

Unfortunately, yes, Carali said, this time making sure that his thought-speech voice reached only Minalea, Larynia and Estrid. Children and youngsters usually just blurted out what they had to say for everyone to hear. It was a habit that was hard to break – but that kind of mistake should not be allowed to happen. It was… embarrassing… that it had.

I am FO Jarathur, said the Controller who first had spoken. His stalks twinkled with amusement. More or less, that is.

Oh, wonderful, Minalea muttered privately. This one thinks he's funny.

The Controller watched the two arisths with evaluating main eyes, like someone watching livestock at an auction. I believe I spoke to you two before. Perhaps allowing you to dock was not such a bad idea after all – of course, now you cannot possibly be allowed to leave.

You are in no position to give us orders, filthy Yeerk, Carali replied haughtily – at least, with more haughtiness than courage.

The FO laughed. Of course not. But, arisths, I must say; you are in no position to defy me. Now there are two ways to do this; the easy way, or the hard way. Both ways involve coming with me…

Not a chance! Carali spat.

Not a choice, the infested FO corrected. A gesture from his hand and the warriors around him advanced, starting to form a circle around the two arisths.

Minalea took that as her signal to turn and run, but Carali stopped her with a sharp No. They'd only be chased down and knocked out – probably with shredders – and that would not help them. Besides, Estrid had told them to stay put. Still, he was surprised when Minalea actually listened to him and stayed.

Ten, she said, and instead of looking like she wanted to flee, she looked like she wanted to shrink away. Ten of them.

Instead of playing with arithmetics, Minalea, please figure out how to deal with them!

Minalea forced a nervous laugh. These are Controllers, Carali. You deal with them.

Thank you for that little token of trust, he said dryly.

Jarathur glared at them. Have you made your decision? I am weary, and I wish to see your infestation over and done with. But before that, we have some very interesting… plans… for you. He gave Minalea a greedy look.

As any female, Minalea recognized that look when she saw it. She went a deadly pale colour, eyes wide, her tail dropping down from attack, and she took a hurried step back. Then she remembered the Controllers behind her and leapt forwards again. She spun around, trying to keep her main eyes on everything at once – forgetting that that was what her stalks were for.

Don't listen to him, Minalea, Carali told her lowly, careful to keep his own voice level. Don't listen to him. He's only trying to unbalance you.

Well, he's succeeding, Minalea whispered.

Carali spared a glance at her, took a step closer and took her hand. He had to clench it hard to make her come to her senses and calm down enough to stand still. Carali kept one stalk watching her. Don't worry. I won't let –

Ah, how sweet, sneered the FO. Think you'll be able to protect her, do you? Don't bother – you'll be on our side before much longer. In fact, what are we waiting for? Fellow Yeerks, would you –

They're waiting for us! Larynia cried from behind them. She and Estrid were approaching at a gallop, tails held high.

About time! Minalea snapped nervously.

Carali, Minalea, storm straight through them, Estrid instructed. If we stay and fight we lose. Ten against four is not a winning battle – not for us, that is.

And there was no time to debate it, for by then the two had reached the circle of Controllers and were met by fiercely flashing tails. The world erupted into striking blades and thought-speech battle-cries.

Estrid blocked the first swipe, ducked the second and feinted a blow at an opponent's head. He drew back to keep clear of it, and she leapt past him and right into the circle.

Hello, Carali said, himself busy with keeping the worst swipes away. How kind of you to join us.

The infested FO had raised his eyebrows at Estrid's manoeuvre, but now he did not hesitate to attack. He aimed first at Minalea, thinking she would be the easiest target, but she was quicker than expected, anticipating his move and getting out of his way. That she didn't attempt to strike back was probably just as well. She did, however, drop and roll right at the FO – who barely avoided her – and then got back to her feet in a fluent motion outside the circle of Controllers. Two turned towards her.

Two tails flashed. Minalea somehow managed to block the first, and the other was swept out of the way by Estrid, who also had made her way past the Controllers. The scientist proceeded in demonstrating exactly how much having Ajaht-Litsom-Esth as a brother would improve your tail-skills. The first warrior's face mirrored his surprise as Estrid's blade flat-sided his head and he staggered towards the wall. The second was more careful, but once Estrid had forced him into defensive fighting, she intended for him to stay there, and was quick and agile enough to make sure he did. When she stopped her attacking, pulling back, the warrior saw the opening and at once, eagerly, followed – not seeing that her tail was still ready to strike. That Controller met the same fate as his friend.

By then, Carali and Larynia had cleared the circle and as soon as they had, Larynia swept a glance through the corridor. Nothing stood between them and the docking station where the Phantom waited. Nothing, except for two guards by the door who were watching them intently but not leaving their posts – probably as they had been ordered.

It would not do to just stand around. Even though they were no longer surrounded, both Carali and Estrid were working hard on keeping the Controllers from encircling them again. That the corridor was too wide to be defended by only four, and there were no bends they could use as an advantage, made things even harder.

The objective was to reach the Phantom.

Time to go, Larynia ordered. Last one to the Phantom is the first one they capture. So move!

Carali scowled, about to protest – on the principle of not ever agreeing with Larynia, if on nothing else – but knew that the other aristh was right. When the three females turned to flee he did the same. He heard – and was slightly unsettled – by the enraged outcries of the Andalite-Controllers and the mass of hoof beats that pursued them, barely a tail's length behind.

All he could do was to run even faster and hope for the best.

Menderash's mind seemed to be drowned in mist. He was only dimly aware of his surroundings, only dimly aware that he had been left on the floor in a large room. The familiar but despised stench of a Yeerk pool was irritating his nostrils, coming from somewhere to his right, but he did not have the energy to worry about that at the moment.

His eyes were open. More or less. At least, open enough to know that feet – both human, Kelbird, Hork-Bajir and Taxxon – had been passing in front of him now and then, seemingly ignoring him. But even in his dazed state he knew better: they were guarding him, not ignoring him.

It took him longer than it should have to come back to his senses. An analytic part of his mind at once realised why; loss of blood. He was still bleeding from the cut that crossed over his chest, shoulder and arm. Had been bleeding for… how long? An hour? Less? Or more? He didn't even want to know.

But the rest of him, led by his ever-present pride, cursed himself repeatedly. How dare he just lie there, letting his weaknesses get the better of him?! How dare he not try to fight, try to break free, try to leave?

He was aching all over; especially in his arm, which was throbbing with pain. He could hardly keep his eyes open, scarcely move his head. Breathing was a constant agony. How was he supposed to flee? No; better to stay, save his strength – what remained of it. Better to wait. Patience always brought its reward.

It was terribly ironic, he thought, almost making himself smile. In his present state they would not be in a hurry to infest him. He was too badly wounded. On the other hand, being that wounded was not exactly advantageous.

He had been lying there for some time when he suddenly felt the tension in the room change. The footsteps around him grew more hurried, and the general atmosphere seemed very nervous. He soon found out why, too; the One had arrived.

He saw four dainty Andalite hooves in front of his face, and felt more than saw the green gaze of the two-dimensional creature.

The presence, the mental awareness, was immense. He suddenly understood better why the Yeerks and Kelbrid Touched were fearful. There was a growing sensation in the back of his mind, coming from the One, which told him; you are nothing. You are worthless. You are a bug, an insect, even less than so, and you shall be crushed the moment you are no longer amusing.

He forced his head to turn up towards the being.

"To your feet, Menderash-Postill-Fastill," sneered the One. Menderash recognized his Captain's voice, but not the tone. Captain-Prince Aximili had never sneered. Civilians sneered. It was below a warrior's dignity to sneer – except at special occasions, of course.

Without knowing how he found the strength, Menderash complied, climbing steadily but with difficulty to his feet. His knees almost folded under him again, but he clenched his jaws and stayed up by pure power of will.

What do you want?

"I want what is mine," the One replied, his stolen Andalite eyes boring into Menderash as if trying to read his thoughts through his forehead. "I want…" a wicked smile. "Alas, the curse of ambition. For the question is not what I want. The question, First Officer, is what I do not want."

Menderash stared blankly back at him, swaying, focusing on staying upright. His hand was clutched around his wounded shoulder, fingers digging into it as if to dig out the agony, but at the same time managing to multiply it. If his fingers were removed, he thought, perhaps there would be a moment's relief when the pain lessened.

The creature continued speaking, using the mouth that besmirched the Andalite features of his face. "But to begin with, I would settle for your home world, your people, the planet called Earth… and of course the humans. From there I can advance further."

Menderash was silent. He might not be able to fight, but – by every oath taken throughout his visit at the Academy – he would be of no help, either.

"I am already on my way to acquire the first two, as you probably know. The second two… I need a key, a way in. And I know just where to find it. I have already claimed it. All I have to do, is to… obtain it. Do you know of what – of whom – I speak, nothlit?"

Menderash felt an urge to answer. He fought it away, but it only grew in strength, beating his weakened mind and even his pride back. He realised he'd been defeated, and shook his head.

The One's eyes glowed a mad green. "The human – the Animorph. Jake. The latest addition to my personal collection – that is, your Prince-Captain – has unwillingly informed me of how important, influential, that human is on his home planet. I'll have his cooperation, voluntary or not, and then I shall have Earth."

My Captain would never cooperate, Menderash informed him.

The One sparkled with anger. He swelled, growing, but forced himself down in size again. He expanded into three dimensions. "Then, Menderash, you will have to help me convince him. Or, you shall tell me something that will. For even though Aximili has told me his greatest weakness, the information is at present useless to me."

Menderash was silent, battling the force that urged him to do as he was told. The weight of it almost forced him down to his knees. He gasped for air and dug even more sharply into the wound on his arm, hoping the pain would distract him.

It did – but too much. He cried out, eyes closed, and fell from his feet and to the ground, writhing back and forth. His mind was almost crushed under the One's will, and his body was torn by constant agony, which he himself had just increased. When he regained awareness of his surroundings, the force of the One's will had faded. He tried to calm his raspy breathing, tried to disregard the agony in his arm and tried to avoid beginning to sob. He would not sob. Children sobbed. Not warriors – and definitely not First Officers.

"Get up," growled the One suddenly. "Get up! If you will not obey me, you shall fight me – and then, obey."

Menderash couldn't have risen even if he had wanted to.

The One lashed out with Prince Aximili's tail and the flat of the blade struck Menderash and sent him helplessly rolling away.

"What's the matter, Andalite, can't you even defend yourself?" he taunted. "On your feet, if you call yourself a warrior, and fight me!"

His stolen tail struck again and Menderash pulled together into a ball, wondering if he had ever felt so nauseous in his entire life. He dragged himself along the floor, using his healthy arm, but his vision was so blurred he was not sure which way he was crawling. He hoped it was away.

Even though it was, the One followed easily, pranced closer, tail cocked, and Menderash saw him prepare another strike, in an almost lazy manner.

"What would the warriors say if they saw you now, First Officer?" His tail whipped at Menderash's unprotected side, making him gasp for breath and roll away further. "First Officer indeed! More of a whining little child! But you shall show them all, is that not so? You shall show them all! You shall show them that not even becoming a nothlit can stop the powerful First Officer of the mighty Intrepid!

"So on your feet! Fight me!"

Menderash pulled himself away again, hating himself more for each centimetre. His pride was at him again, scolding him fiercely. Why did he not attack? This… this One… was right. How could he, an officer of the Andalite fleet – a First Officer, under the command of the legendary Prince Aximili himself – cower in fear before his enemies, when he should stand tall and seek a way to destroy them?

His wounds, his… his loss of blood and –

No. His pride told him that that was the human mind speaking. No Andalite mind worked that way. No Andalite warrior would ever cower like that. His pride, and he himself, hated the human mind. He hated himself for not overpowering the human mind, and standing up to face his enemy.

His enemy was coming closer, on light, fleet Andalite hooves, moving with the deadly grace of an Andalite warrior, watching him with Andalite eyes and holding his Andalite tail proudly cocked behind him, ready to issue the killing strike.

Menderash overpowered his weakness and pushed himself upright to meet that strike. He might have acted weakly, but there was no way he was going to die weakly, cringing in fear. He would die proudly. He would die with defiance sparkling in his eyes, turned up to meet the blade that would end his life.

But the strike never came. The One stopped half a step in front of him, so close that he could reach out and touch him without even straightening his arm. He felt the creature's shining, green gaze, felt the green glow burn at his face, and felt himself beginning to tremble from the tightness in his muscles and the fear he wished he did not feel – the fear he should not feel.

The One glanced him over and then lowered his tail, swivelling away from Menderash as if in disgust.

"You're a coward, Menderash," he spat. "A coward and a fool. You're a slow, weak, sentimental wretch, and I pity you, because you are just like the humans you despise!"

He froze, halfway through a movement, as if hit by a thought. He spun around, was suddenly straight in front of Menderash again, and he leaned in even closer, his pupils shining a mad – and somehow tempting – green. "But I hold the power to change that. I hold the power to turn you into what you once were… proud, daring, strong, and…" his voice sank to a spellbinding whisper "…Andalite."

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Author's Note;

That's it, now I'll be gone for four weeks. Write a review – plenty of time for that – and I'll get the next part up as soon as possible… after I come back home, that is.

Oh, and here comes a jumble of Completely Useless Information I Don't Know Why I'm Posting (I Suppose I'm Bored).

I was getting confused over all my little scribbles and notes on characters, so I read through what I have so far of the story, listed and categorized all the characters, and came up with a total of 73 – five of which are only mentioned but not properly met. 1 is an android (you'll never guess who…).  1 is a Hork-Bajir – Toby, of course. 1 is a kii-raja (I added him for sentimental reasons; that is, Rachel would have my head bitten off if I didn't add him, and I'm very fond of my head exactly where it is, thank you very much). 2 are nothlits, both in major parts. 3 are Yeerks. 4 are unknown (hint; Crayak). 9 are Kelbird, with 5 in major parts. 14 are human, with 8 in major parts (my excuse for so few is that it is hard to find some way to place humans so far out in space…).  And finally, 38 (!!!) are Andalites (so I like the arrogant bastards. They make excellent characters for internal conflicts *see above*. Besides, only 13 of them have major parts). And that's the ones that are named. How many "the Hork-Bajir" or "that Kelbrid" or "the Controller" I have, I don't even want to know.

That's all the Completely Useless (and so on) for today.