Warnings: Language (mild), shonen ai

Spoilers: None in this chapter

Feedback: Constructive feedback is very welcome

Notes: Filler chapter II...you get two chapters this time just because they're very short. (sparkly look) If anime can do it, so can I, heh heh. I will write more as soon as RL lets up a bit... Also, thank you, everyone, for all the fun reviews (happy smiles)

Felis Catus: Circle Twelve
"My hair is not a TOY, you stupid cat!" Edward yelled, his yell muffled by a pillow over his head. Unfortunately, his braid peeked out from beneath the pillow and was currently the source of his grief, as an enthralled cat batted it happily.

"Dammit, I'm going to get a haircut..." Ed griped sleepily, sitting up and disengaging Roy's paws from his hair.

A haircut? Oh NO! That would be sacrilege! Roy was alarmed, and meowed his distress at the thought of Edward cutting off all that soft, beautiful, golden hair...

"Well, I will if you don't STOP it!" Edward informed the now somber looking cat. The cat looked properly contrite, so Ed gave it a light pat on the head and a chin scritch, before yawning and stretching.

"Ow!" he said, as his bruised rib reminded him why he shouldn't be stretching. Edward gently prodded at his side. "Well, it's a bit better..."

Roy was concerned, his tail waving about agitatedly. If Edward's side hurt, how would they manage to fight the next chimera?

Edward looked over to the pacing cat and smiled reassuringly. "Don't worry, you silly cat! I'm fine - it's my rib that's bruised, not my mind!"

Roy sniffed. He knew that.

"Yeah, thanks to you, too," Ed informed him, grinning. "I'm glad you came with me."

Roy preened, tilting his head to the side to invite more scratches.

Edward obliged with a smirk. "Spoiled cat."

Hey. Was the grass green or the sky blue? Cats were MADE to be spoiled...Roy purred happily. Okay, so being a cat wasn't turning out to be too bad...

"But you still stink. You're getting a bath, cat - now."

Okay, yes, being a cat sucked. Roy immediately made a beeline for the living room and the open window.

"Ohhhh no you don't!" Ed clapped, transmuting the floor into a giant hand that scooped Roy up before he could sneak out the bedroom door.

Roy gathered himself for a leap. Unfortunately, Edward anticipated that move and had the hand turn into a cage with very, very closely spaced bars. He was taking no chances this time.

"Gotcha."

Damn!

A very, very wet and unhappy looking black cat sat in the middle of a shallow round tub, meowing his distress miserably.

An equally wet, scowling, and very, very grouchy blond alchemist sat in front of the tub, lathering shampoo into the cat's sleek fur and trying to keep the small animal from leaping out of the tub again.

The bathroom door was locked against such an occurrence, but Edward had quickly realized that trying to catch a cat even in a small, enclosed space such as the bathroom was no mean feat, especially with sore and aching ribs.

"Almost done..." Ed assured the cat grumpily, gently using a cup to scoop up some warm water and pour in down the feline's back, carefully avoiding getting water in the ears.

The bedraggled little cat wailed despondently again, just so that the cruel, cruel world and his mean, mean owner would know exactly how unpleased he was right now.

"Shhh shhh...I know, I know," Ed murmured comfortingly. "But you won't smell anymore, and that's the important thing, right? Don't tell me you actually liked that smell?"

Well, no, but that wasn't the POINT, Roy thought indignantly, as he sulked. The POINT, was that he was WET and cats do not LIKE to be WET. Besides, they were going chimera hunting again tonight, and Roy didn't need to be a psychic to know the he'd probably be getting just as dirty in the process and would most likely need another bath tomorrow!

Life sucked. He was going to flambé Zayna for this. Roy decided that flambéing sounded like a lot more fun than just plain old cremation. For one thing, he suspected it would hurt more if she stayed conscious.

"Okay, done!" Ed said with a sigh, releasing his grip on the cat's scruff.

Finally! Roy shot out of the tub in a heartbeat.

"Wait! I need to dry you, get back here!" Ed exclaimed, as Roy dripped on the bathroom rug. "Damn it, where does Roy keep his hair dryer..."

Again with the Roy. Roy was wondering if that was how Ed referred to him in the privacy of his own mind, and if the phrase "that bastard Colonel" was reserved especially for when there were ears present other than a cat's.

"I can't believe he doesn't have a hair dryer," Ed was muttering, as he searched through the cabinet under the sink.

Roy rolled his eyes. Duh. Short hair? FLAME alchemist?

"I bet the lazy ass dries his hair with a low flame..." Ed said thoughtfully, as his search wasn't turning up any results.

Brilliant. Give that boy a prize.

"Heh heh. Bet he burned it before he got it right, that's why he keeps his hair short," Ed snorted.

That wasn't a subject for discussion. Roy cringed.

"Oh, the hell with it. We'll do it the old-fashioned way!" Ed said, grabbing a fluffy towel and scooping up the cat.

Oomph! Roy thought, as the fluffy towel did its work. MmmMmm...not bad... Rather...comfortable, in fact. Roy began to purr, as Edward roughly dried off his fur.

"You just like the attention," Ed informed him with a smile.

It's never enough, Roy had to agree happily.

"Okay, I think most of the water's gone..." Ed said. "I'll get rid of the rest with alchemy."

Why didn't you do that in the first place? Roy snarked.

"You were too wet before; it would have taken too long to evaporate," Ed said, almost absentmindedly. "I could have accelerated it, but then you'd be one hot little kitty cat..."

Never mind. Roy much preferred being a cool cat, thank-you-very-much.

"There you go," Ed sighed, clapping and patting Roy on the head lightly. Roy shook himself. Dry! Oh joy!

"Okay Spitfire, you can go out of the bathroom now."

YES! The world beckoned! Roy sauntered out casually. Aha...there was the window!

"Ah ah ah..." Edward warned him, as he followed the cat out. "Don't piss off the neighbors, cat - I need to save all of my energy for dealing with the chimeras, not the Colonel's crazy mean neighbors."

Point. Alright. He would exercise discretion then. Roy leaped up onto the windowsill.

"Oh, and make sure to do something to that jerk than called me a bean, okay?" Edward added, almost as an afterthought.

Roy gave Edward a long, studying look over his shoulder. Who me? His expression seemed to ask. Whatever made you think I was going to do something to the mere mortals that live around me?

Edward grinned at him knowingly.

"What? You think I don't know what you're thinking, cat? Think again. Just don't get caught, okay?"

Hmmm. Alright - done. Roy would personally shred something belonging to the jerk. Not because Edward had asked, of course - just simply because he couldn't stand the man either. That was all. Really.

Edward headed towards the bookcase. "Be back before we leave, 'kay? I'm going to read some of the journals Roy's got."

Enjoy. Roy swished his tail, as he exited the apartment to wreak more havoc.

To be con't...