Disclaimer: See Chapter One!
Uploaded: 2nd February 2005

"Black Light"

By Dante Lewis

Chapter Fourteen: Covert Ops

"Severus." Remus Lupin called out softly as the man in question emerged from a darkened room, closing the door softly behind him. "Is she asleep?"

"Before her head even hit the pillow." Severus replied lightly, "whatever did you do with her today?"

Remus frowned. "Severus, we need to talk."

Severus nodded slightly and gestured to the set of armchairs by the fireplace. "I was wondering when this day will come," he said simply. "What does she want to know?"

Remus sighed. "Why she doesn't have parents, for one," he paused. "Why didn't you tell me you don't have any pictures of them, Severus?"

Severus sneered at the man sitting across from him and looked him in the eye. "Of course I have photographs, Lupin!" He snapped.

"Where?" Remus gestured wildly at the room around them. "Come to think of it Severus, I've never seen any around here – and clearly Estella hasn't either!"

"Estella only needs to look in the mirror to see her mother, Lupin." Severus said irritably, waving his wand in a jerking motion to conjure himself a glass and summon his favoured bottle of fire whiskey from its cabinet.

Remus leant back in his chair wearily. "I see," he said. "So this is what this is about."

"Whatever do you mean?" Severus asked dismissively.

"You're afraid that if you answer Estella's questions about Selina she will think to ask about Sirius too." Remus said.

"Don't you say his name in my presence, Lupin." Severus snapped angrily.

"Just as I thought." Remus said, "Severus, regardless of what he did, he is still her father. Whether we like it or not, she will only become more curious."

"She's only five years old." Severus said wistfully. "She's too young to understand."

"So we don't tell her all the details, Severus!" Remus exclaimed, "but we have to tell her something."

"Why?" Severus said defiantly.

"I bumped into Sirius' cousin Andromeda and her husband Ted in Muggle London last week and they informed me that all of their Owls to you requesting to see Estella have been returned unopened! They're her family, too Severus! You're keeping her to yourself and it isn't healthy! What if something happens to you? She needs to know…"

Severus downed his drink and glared at the werewolf. "Andromeda Tonks is the least of my worries, Lupin. You forget who else is in her family! I have had Narcissa Malfoy making similar requests, Lupin, and I am just about out of excuses. If she were to find out I was permitting Estella to associate with her muggle-loving sister and not her, what do you think she will think? You forget only too easily Lupin that I am stuck in the role of double-agent in this war. I will not take the risk!"

"Severus, the war is over. Voldemort was defeated…" Lupin pleaded.

Severus snarled angrily and sneered. "If you believe that, you're even more ignorant than I thought! The Dark Lord may be out of action, Lupin, but don't think for one moment that he still doesn't have supporters out there."

Realisation dawned on Remus' face. "Did Dumbledore… the Order… you're still spying?"

Severus looked away and gazed into the fire, a unreadable expression on his face. "My life – and Estella's – would be forfeit if his supporters ever discovered my 'betrayal'. I thought that much was obvious." Severus sighed. "So you see I cannot permit Estella to associate with any of her extended family. Contrary to public perception I do not 'keep her to myself' as you so wantonly put it out of selfish spite."

Remus paled. "Severus… I'm sorry." He said softly. "Merlin, I didn't even realise… why didn't anyone tell me any of this?"

Severus shook his head. "I did not think it needed telling," he said. "Why else do you think I insist on living at Hogwarts year round when I have several estates at my disposal? Why do you suppose I insist Estella is kept in crowded, public places whenever she leaves Hogwarts? Why did you think I would not permit Estella to meet with Andromeda Tonks? I will not risk her life for the sake of family reunions! Honestly Lupin I would have thought you had mind enough to draw the right conclusions!"

Remus narrowed his eyes. "How can I draw the 'right conclusions' when your attitude contradicts your intent?" He said defensively. "You've spent so long being a spy, Severus, that effective communication skills allude you. Now whilst I can now understand the fallacy behind the misconceptions, Andromeda and her family continue to feel as though they are being denied unjustly and don't get me started on what Estella thinks…"

Severus straightened rigidly in his chair and glared. "Oh no, dear Remus, feel free to start whenever you like…" He said snidely, his eyebrows raised in expectation.

"She's confused, Severus!" Remus said exasperatedly. "She has so many questions, but she doesn't know who or what to ask! I'm not sure I agree with you yet about it not being safe for Estella to see the Tonks so long as the Malfoys are on the scene, but at the very least, Severus, we need to tell her about her parents. I spent half the afternoon today with Estella in tears because she was convinced her parents didn't want her or love her!"

Severus raised his head in surprise and shook his head slightly. "No," he said. "Why would she think that? Why didn't she come to me?"

"She did come to you Severus!" Remus said exasperatedly, "and do you remember what you said to her? You said she had no parents!"

Severus sighed. Resting his elbow on the arm of his chair he cradled cold glass against his forehead. "It's as good as true," he said defensively. "What do you prefer I say? That her mother died giving birth and her father is a heartless, immoral servant of darkness who didn't spare her a thought before he murdered scores of people and condemned himself to rot in Azkaban?" He asked, more to convince himself that Sirius was as bad as all that than anything else.

Remus narrowed his eyes, his lips set in a thin line. "Now listen here, Severus." He growled. "I know as well as you do what Sirius did to land himself in Azkaban, but I won't deny to Estella that he loved her and Selina in his own way."

"Nonsense, monsters aren't capable of love." Severus snapped.

"You know, five years ago people were saying the same of you?" Remus said matter-of-factly. "Don't be so quick to judge."

"Telling her about them will only confuse her more." Severus replied, choosing to ignore the previous comment.

"So you'd rather go on ignoring that Sirius even existed, mmm?" Remus hissed. "You'd dishonour Selina's memory by raising her daughter to be a stranger to her and the love she had for her father!"

Severus growled defensively and opened his mouth to curse at the errant werewolf, but Remus cut him off.

"No you listen up Severus, and you listen good. I am not finished!" Remus warned. "Get over yourself Severus! So your sister fell in love with someone you didn't approve of! Do you think Selina would appreciate how her daughter thinks her parents didn't love each other or welcome her birth? She wanted that baby more than anything in this world, Severus. Estella deserves to know that!"

Severus inhaled deeply and expelled the breath slowly between his teeth. "Whole lot of good it did for Selina too, don't you think Lupin?" he hissed, mockingly. "She's dead!"

"Who's dead?" A small voice inquired innocently from the shadows of the hallway.

Severus and Remus shared a surprised look, neither of them having noticed her approach.

"No one you know," Severus said dismissively, "why are you up?"

Remus shot Severus a warning look. "Severus…" he warned.

Estella looked between her two 'uncles' curiously. "What's going on?" She asked determinedly, ignoring Severus' question. "Who died?"

Remus opened his arms and welcomed the sleepy looking child onto his lap. "Hush now, Missy, nothing for you to worry your pretty little head about tonight." He said, heeding Severus' wordless glare. "Now what woke you up?"

Estella cast a worried glance at the simmering form of her blood uncle before burying her head in the crook of Remus' shoulder. "I heard angry voices." Was her muffled reply.

"Didn't you cast the silencing wards?" Remus asked accusingly, his voice low so as to not startle Estella.

"Of course I cast the blasted wards!" Severus hissed back. "Something else must have woken her."

Estella turned her head to face her uncle. "I was dreaming of angry voices but then the kind lady told me everything would be alright." She said softly. "At least I think I must have been dreaming, right Uncle Sev, because you wouldn't let a strange lady in my room, would you?"

Severus narrowed his eyes and inclined his head over his shoulder to look at his niece's open bedroom door in question. "Don't let Estella out of your sight, Lupin." He said in response, rising from his chair, his wand drawn. "Estella, if you would excuse me momentarily."

As Severus left the room to investigate Estella's bedroom, the child in question struggled in her Godfather's strong arms. "No uncle Sev, don't hurt her!" she cried, mortified, while Remus struggled to mollify her with soothing tones.

"Here Estella, eat this." Remus cooed conspiratorially, conjuring a piece of chocolate place that he offered to the worked up child. "You'll feel better."

Estella eyed the chocolate hungrily and leant in close to Remus' ear. "But Uncle Sev doesn't let me have treats after I've brushed my teeth!" She exclaimed in hushed tones, so only he would hear.

Remus chuckled, thrusting the chocolate in his goddaughter's surprised mouth. "What your Uncle Sev doesn't know won't hurt him." He winked.

Estella's responding giggle was muffled by a mouthful of chocolate. "Thanks Uncle Remus!" She scoffed.

"Now, now, Missy," Remus scolded mockingly, "it's not polite to talk with your mouthful!"

"Mouthful of what?" A menacing voice growled from the edge of the room. "Lupin you had better not have been feeding my niece chocolate again!" Severus strode into the room with a menacing sneer on his face.

Estella looked at her uncle mischievously, a small hand clamped firmly over her mouth as she shook her head furiously in denial. Behind her, her Godfather's chest rumbled heartily in barely concealed mirth before steadying back into its regular rhythm.

"Any boggarts in the closet, Severus?" Remus asked, hiding his concern from the child with a light layer of humour.

Severus took the hint. "No, but I did find this rather interesting artefact." He hesitated as he resumed his seat. "Estella, if you would come here please."

Remus gently settled Estella on her feet and gave her a reassuring shove towards her Uncle. Estella found her feet and approached her Uncle slowly.

Severus, sensing his niece's hesitation, reached out and wrapped a long arm around his niece's waist, pulling her close whilst his other hand opened the album that was balanced on his knee.

"Estella," he asked, clearing his throat nervously, "is this the lady you saw?" He continued evenly, indicating to a picture of Selina and himself on her wedding day.

Estella looked at the smiling woman carefully, before nodding her head gravely. "I think that's her," she said thoughtfully. "But she was much sadder when I saw her. So I could be wrong…"

Severus and Remus exchanged a look as he held up the photograph to show Remus who Estella had just identified.

"Who is she?" Estella's innocent voice permeated the stunned silence that had blanketed the room.

Severus sighed, his dark eyes glazing over. "My sister…" he said softly, then more strongly he added. "Your Mother."

End Chapter: Covert Ops