When troubled by illusions

The first to return to camp was Tom. He went straight to Jeanne, nuzzled her hand and gave her an inquiring hungry-dog look. When she shook her head, already having finished the last of her meal, the kii-raja turned and slunk away again.

He returned only a moment later, flanking Rachel – as usual. He looked moderately irritated, glancing back every other second, for just behind him and his human came Jake, Melissa and Menderash. Tom, of course, trusted none of the tree, and could not for the life of him understand why Rachel insisted on letting them walk so close – and behind her, at that.

Rachel exchanged a few words with the two adult Kelbrid when she came close enough, and the next second she and Sira'aki were digging in one of the Kelbrid's pack.

Melissa and Jake were practically carrying Menderash between them – which was a tricky business, since his mangled shoulder ruled out the usual arms-on-shoulders technique. They both looked relieved to be able to put down the heavy, barely conscious nothlit.

JaLa'an had arranged a few blankets by the root of a tree and Menderash was carefully placed there. Jeanne came to sit next to him, quickly checking for pulse and breath, and then placed a hand on his forehead.

"He's burning up," she announced, looking up at Jake, who only nodded, his concern visible in his slight frown.

Rachel folded her legs and sat down on Menderash's other side, opposite to Jeanne. "Give him this," she ordered, holding out a bowl containing a sticky green fluid.

Jeanne took it suspiciously, and wondered; "What is it?"

"The name would mean nothing to you," Rachel said. Tom hovered over her shoulder, tense from the grave atmosphere that had descended over camp. "It's a mixture of water and plants. It'll relieve any pain, slow any bleeding, and send him into a deep sleep. We'll probably have to stitch that shoulder, which means we want him to be properly asleep."

Jeanne nodded. She bent forwards to try to wake Menderash enough for him to drink. She gently shook his good shoulder. His eyes, though dull with fever, opened at once and his gaze was surprisingly sharp.

"Here. Take this."

She held out the bowl, and with Rachel helping they made the First Officer sit and drink it all – although he grimaced at the taste.

"Have you got anything against fever?" Jake asked.

"Ni'aye dure'avi'ir'elath jilu'art i'nayth?" Rachel asked the Kelbrid in their musical language.

"Ra'ah," Sira'aki replied, nodding. She began rummaging through her bag again.

Menderash's breathing was growing steadier and his features were less tense. Jeanne realised that he'd fallen asleep. There was a light tap on her shoulder and she looked up at JaLa'an, who gestured for her to move.

"He wants to look at the wound," Rachel explained.

Jeanne moved, and JaLa'an took her place. He had his own pack next to him, and he was already bringing out what he needed.

"Rachel?" Marco said suddenly. He was standing next to Jake.

"Yes?"

"Do they know what they're doing?"

Rachel shrugged. "More than any of us, I'd say. They're all medics, Kelbrid. They know their way around a wound. I've learned, too, but since…" She made a vague gesture towards her eyes, grimacing. "Well, Tom's sight isn't perfect… I only do what I have to nowadays."

"So they know Kelbrid wounds," Marco concluded. "But on a human?"

"They've stitched me up pretty well a few times," Rachel told him. She grinned, but mirthlessly, up at Jake. "See? This is what happens when you leave Cassie behind."

"Yep," Marco agreed, smiling, just as mirthlessly as Rachel. "That was unforgivable."

 Jake could only nod. For a moment his eyes grew unfocused, but then he sighed, and turned to Melissa. "I suppose we owe you one," he said tonelessly.

Melissa smiled. "I suppose you do. But don't worry; all debts will be paid if you bring me back home." Her smile disappeared and her gaze turned sharp as she studied the Animorph leader, as if to see right through his forehead and into his mind. "Just get me home."

"We will," Jake assured her, but he looked a bit distant. "As soon as we're done in this part of space, we will."

Melissa kept up her evaluating look. Then she glanced towards Rachel, who was discussing something with JaLa'an while he worked on cleaning Menderash's wound. Her gaze was met by the warning, golden glare of Rachel's kii-raja. As Tom flexed his claws and bared his teeth, not liking the glance, Melissa turned away.

"I need to return to the Blade ship before anyone misses me," she said.

"Then you better hurry," Marco told her. He still stood next to Jake, and his arms were crossed over his chest.

Melissa nodded. "I'll see if they suspect me for anything, just to be sure. I'll be back… when? Tomorrow, the day after? You'll still be here?"

Jake grimaced, but – looking down at Menderash – nodded.

"Good," Melissa said, relieved. "Wait for me – I'll be able to help you." She turned to leave, but only got a few steps before she twirled back around. "By the way. That ship you're looking for… it's about three gi'im west of the Blade ship. And the One is gone – he went out to some ship somewhere. He should be gone another few days."

"Thanks, Mel," Rachel said with a smile.

Melissa returned the smile with one of her own – although a wavering such – and then disappeared in amongst the trees, already morphing.

"I don't trust her," Marco announced, so lowly that only Jake – and Santorelli, who was nearby – heard. Probably Tobias, too, but he ignored it.

"Why not?" Santorelli wondered. "All she wants is too go home. Sensible request."

"Yes, but she seems just a bit too… desperate."

Jake gave his friend a studying look, and Marco held up his hands as if in defence; "Hey, don't mind me anyway, I'm no expert judge of character. Not like Cassie."

"Could everyone please stop discussing Cassie?" Jake exclaimed with sudden ferocity, and swivelled around to stalk away.

Carali looked down at Minalea, beside him, and took a deep breath. We better alert the rest of the crew and get them all up to the bridge.

Minalea called out in thought-speech to wake the sleeping crew. They came quickly, sensing the urgency in her voice. Aralgo arrived first, followed by Estrid, and then Larynia – and Olana.

Kelbrid, Carali said before any questions were asked. Small, black arrowhead fighters.

How many? Aralgo wondered.

Too many for my liking, Carali replied grimly. Forty-three, exactly, if the number helps us for some reason.

Then what are we waiting for? Aralgo said. Time to leave. Quickly!

Already working on it, Carali assured the rest of the group, and he was. But one stalk swivelled back to look at Olana. Only… I'm not the best pilot.

There was a silent and all too long moment as Olana raised her face, some flicker of life returning to her eyes.

Could you handle the ship? Minalea asked her softly.

Olana actually smiled. It was a weak smile, but nevertheless a smile. It seemed the question was some kind of old joke between the two of them. Minalea, the day hasn't come when I would answer no to that question, and you know it.

She took Carali's place, assumed control of the ship and was at once completely absorbed in her task.

Estrid nodded to herself. Work will do her good. Take her mind off… that Yeerk, she muttered, to everyone except Olana.

The Phantom began, for the second time in only two days, to flee.

More Kelbrid up ahead, Olana told them, a hand stretching up to tug at a stalk. A dozen. And more, to our left.

Veer off, Larynia ordered, watching one of the screens. Down and right. Can you do a Z-space jump with a twist?

Minalea laughed. She practically invented it.

Olana ignored Minalea. So did everyone else, except Carali who couldn't stop a smile from twinkling in the depth of his stalk-eyes.

I'll try, Olana murmured, her stalks scanning out the windows and at the approaching Kelbrid.

The craft veered sharply right – the gravity compensation saving the lot of them just half a moment before they would have tumbled to the floor – and dove downwards and sideways at the same time, and then toppling around itself – rolling over its side – and when it straightened it was in Z-space, and its crew was feeling nauseous. The ship was then facing another direction from that by which it had seemed to enter. The point of the manoeuvre was of course to feint disappearing in one direction, but truly go the opposite way.

Out again? Olana wondered, fingers dancing over the controls. The Phantom could of course be controlled by thought-speech, but for some reason Olana preferred the manual option, which also lessened the amounts of thought-speech returned to the crew from the computer. The computer, just as a Dome-ship's computer, had a tendency to forget that sending out seven or more different thought-speech sentences at the same time would only leave the poor crew confused, and with a headache.

Yes, and then repeat the entire manoeuvre, Larynia instructed.

But do not go too far in any direction, Estrid warned. We still need to head for that planet.

The Phantom exited, entered and again exited Z-space. Carali studied the screens for any signs of Kelbrid fighters, and saw none. We may have escaped, he said.

Or not, Aralgo disagreed. One extra jump, Olana, to be sure.

Olana sent the ship into the thick white of Z-space again, and after a few moments she let it back out. There were still no Kelbrid in sight.

Better, Minalea sighed, relief in her thought-speech voice.

So, Carali said. How about heading towards that planet?

Jake felt the familiar strength of tiger body he inhabited, and that gave him some comfort. But he was worried; for he had no idea how he'd ended up tiger. He didn't remember morphing.

Around him was the Pool. The Yeerk Pool; familiar, frightening, and… wait a moment, that couldn't be correct, the Pool was… the Pool was blown up… no.

A scene from his past. Had to be. It felt too real to be his imagination or a dream. Then again, it felt too real to be a scene from the past; too substantial to be a mere memory. He let his gaze sweep across Rachel, a grizzly, Marco, in gorilla morph… Tobias, above, a hawk, and Ax, his tail flashing.

Ax? How..? But, a voice in his head argued; yes, of course Ax was there as well. Ax was one of them. Ax was always with them.  Where else would he be?

And then, there was Cassie.

Cassie, who was not in morph.

Cassie, who was on the infestation pier.

Jake's blood turned to ice. The rest of the world faded. The other Animorphs seemed to dim and disappear, as if a thick fog had come to hide them.

There was only him, the pier, Cassie, and the two Hork-Bajir taking her arms, forcing –

No!

Jake was running. He flew over Taxxons and Hork-Bajir, ignored the dracons that were fired at him, ignored everything he passed, eyes pasted as if with glue on the infestation pier and the head that was slowly lowered, slowly… slowly…

Jake ran. But however fast he ran, he came no closer; and however he strained his powerful tiger muscles, he could run no faster.

He roared and struggled. He slashed at the air that held him back with his paws, and threw himself forwards towards the pier and the two Hork-Bajir who were always just out of reach, always just beyond his deadly claws.

Then Cassie's ear was beneath the surface of the Pool, and the entire world stopped. Jake froze halfway through a leap and then fell to the floor and landed with a bang, suddenly human again. He peered up with eyes that were filled with tears and tried to look about. But the world was cloudy, foggy, and growing dimmer by the moment…

The last thing Jake saw was Cassie's face, afraid, angry, tears rolling down her cheeks as she accused him, cried at him, almost screaming; "You couldn't save me, Jake. You failed me. You failed me! How could you? How could you?!"

Jake sat up with a jerk.

"Whoa!" Marco's voice said out of the dark. He had been sitting by the foot of a tree – he had the first sentry shift that night – but at Jake's sudden movement he had flown up. Now he turned to look curiously at Jake. "You scared me. Don't do that."

Jake glanced around. Menderash was asleep, with Sira'aki sitting next to him, half slumbering. Her eyes had opened for a moment at Marco's words, but now they were closed again. Her horns twitched in their curls above her head, and her expression was slightly irritated. JaLa'an and KEdi'ir were not to be seen; probably up in the trees. Tobias sat on a branch, just within sight. Santorelli, Jeanne and Rachel were asleep, but Tom's golden eyes were open and watching the Animorph leader, as evaluating and menacing as ever. Finally the beast rested his head back down, on Rachel's side, but his eyes didn't close.

Jake took a deep breath. His hands were shaking. He clenched them to make them stop. He felt cold, even though the night was warm.

"Bad dream?" Marco guessed, and Jake could only nod. "About what?"

"The Yeerk Pool," Jake whispered softly. "And Cassie… on the infestation pier."

Marco regarded him, head tilted slightly to the side. "The Pool is history and Cassie is safe back on a Yeerk-free Earth," he said finally, sinking back to the forest floor where he had been sitting. "So nothing to worry about."

Jake could only nod again. His voice felt blocked, and all he could manage was a; "Yeah. Safe."

"You wouldn't have left her there if there was the slightest risk of danger," Marco teased, eyes glittering.

Jake ignored that. Sighing, he lay back down, forced his eyes closed, and willed himself to sleep.

It was a group of more or less confused and very downhearted arisths – plus one similarly humoured scientist – that was standing by the controls of their ship, the Phantom, and gloomily watching the mass of fighters assembled outside. Not one of them was still not sure about what, exactly, had happened. What had gone wrong, or where, or why.

The Kelbrid fighters had formed some sort of shield around themselves, and packed together – melted together – to trap the Andalite cruiser in a sphere of fighters.

It was not surprising when the sphere suddenly acquired gravity and the Phantom fell downwards towards what had been chosen to be 'down'. The cruiser hit the 'floor' with an audible crash and the group of Andalites inside it felt their legs fold beneath them at the impact. They were all bruised, and more than a little alarmed, but fortunately nothing was broken.

At noises from outside the ship, their stalk-eyes searched their way towards the windows. They caught sight of the Kelbrid that had begun to assemble outside, peering in, their horns whipping above their heads and wrist-blades slashing at air in what clearly was a challenge.

Opaque, Olana snapped at the computer. The windows darkened, hiding the outside from their view; and hiding them from the Kelbrid's view.

The exits are sealed? Aralgo asked as he got back up on his hooves, feeling better when the enemy could no longer see them.

Yes, Carali confirmed. At least if no-one has tampered with them.

No-one has, Olana said softly, using the consoles for support as she examined a back hoof that had taken a nasty hit against a control station when she'd fallen. Should I… activate that… control program again?

Which? Larynia asked. The one which left you in complete control of the ship?

Yes, Olana confirmed, pulling at a stalk. She pawed the floor with a hoof, almost nervously. Program 592-63-dalaf. It will… avoid anyone trying to steal the ship.

Then do so, Estrid said, and exchanged a glance with Larynia, then Carali. She looks after the ship – that was Captain Kandion's orders, after all. We look after her. That way, we don't lose the ship, and we still have a way home – or at least a way away.

Larynia flicked her tail in agreement, and Olana turned to activate the control program.

Minalea was the last to stand up again. She had been listening to the conversation with only one ear, her true attention focused elsewhere. Now she stretched up a hand and ordered; Aralgo, help me up.

Aralgo turned to watch her with his main eyes, surprised and puzzled at the request. He began moving towards her, to comply, but Carali sent him a short glare with one stalk and had already stepped towards Minalea to help her.

About a hand's width away his front hoof caught a trip wire and he fell to the floor. By then he – and the others – had had plenty of practice in falling to the floor and one would think they would have learned to fall with some grace, but Carali fell just as gracelessly and heavily as the first time.

Minalea had to scramble back, out of his way, to avoid the tail that arched forwards to compensate the extra momentum. She peered at his unmoving shape for a moment, with all four eyes, worried… until he raised his head and stalks, watching at her with a resigned expression. And annoyed, naturally.

Was that completely necessary? he gritted.

Minalea did not, for once, laugh. She moved forwards again and studied his front hoof; the one that had caught the wire. Suddenly her face broke into a wide grin.

It worked, she declared happily. It actually worked!

So I noticed, Carali muttered. He stood up, slowly and only as far as possible, for the trip wire had somehow snared about his leg, all the way up to his knee. He glared at it, wondering how best to remove it, tail twitching behind him. Minalea hurriedly bent down to loosen the snare before he ruined a good wire. Only then could he straighten.

Someday, Minalea, someone is going to be very angry with you, Carali predicted. People do not like being used for your… tests. Especially not when they don't even know about it.

Sorry, Carali, Minalea murmured, while she was sitting down by the entrance to set out more of the snaring wires. But I did ask him, not you. She waved at Aralgo.

And I suppose I'm expected to be grateful or honoured or something for that, Aralgo muttered sourly.

Minalea ignored him. She worked quickly by the entrance, and finally said; Olana, could you construct a one-way force field… she looked around, found a good spot, and pointed at it …there?

Why? Olana wondered.

Minalea smiled, in a very mischievous manner. We'll probably have uninvited guests in a few minutes. I just want to make sure they are properly… welcomed.

That smile made the rest of the Phantom's crew suspicious. That smile meant trouble, and they all knew it.

Explain, Larynia ordered curtly, expression the general opinion.

Minalea did. She pointed down by the entrance. Trip wires – snares, to be exact. Like the one I just tested. Three of them, which will stop at least one intruder. Even if they pass that, Olana's one-way force field will trap a few more before they realise what's going on.

Carali and Minalea glanced at each other; the glance ended with Minalea flicking her tail and looking away. Carali's eyes smiled briefly.

It's a reasonably good plan, Aralgo admitted. He lifted a shredder from a counter and tossed it to Estrid. And we've got four of these, too. He proceeded to give one to Carali, one to Minalea, and keep the last for himself.

Why not just… keep them out? Estrid wondered, eyeing her shredder and arranging its adjustments.

We're low on energy as it is, we all know that, Olana said. The protective shield would last an hour, no more.

I know. But there's still the hull. They'd have to get through that to get in.

When our energy supply fails life support will cease and unless we then open the door we'll suffocate, sooner or later. And if we're in space at the time, we'll suffocate anyway.

Carali readied his weapon. Everyone ready?

As good as, Aralgo muttered, while Estrid nodded grimly, Larynia raised her tail, Minalea grimaced, and Olana did nothing except step closer to the computer consoles and set up a proper thought-speech link.

Then let them in, Olana, Carali said.

Don't forget that force field, Minalea reminded her, a hint of fear in her voice.

Olana told the computer to set up the force field, took a deep breath, and whispered; Computer… open door.

When Jeanne woke in the morning it was because someone was shaking her – gently, but enough to wake her.

"What?" she wondered groggily, turning over on her side to try to escape.

"It's way past dawn and time to get up," Jake's voice told her.

She sat up. "What? Dawn! But I was supposed to take the midnight shift!"

"Don't worry. I rook care of it," Jake said.

Jeanne glared at him "What, you think I wouldn't have been able to keep awake?!" She'd promised to take that shift only to let Marco, Santorelli and Jake have a few hours of extra sleep, and now she felt rejected. She did not like it.

"No," Jake said softly. He grimaced. "I just… I was already awake, so…" He shrugged uncomfortably, stood up, and went to wake Marco and Santorelli.

"You'll have to wake Rachel," he told her over his shoulder when the two began coming out of their deep sleep. "That beast won't let me come close enough." And as if to remind him of that, Tom sent him a good glare, teeth bared in warning.

Jeanne smiled knowingly and went – almost demonstratively – over to Tom and sat down to scratch his ears. She gave him a dry piece of ka'atj from her pocket at the same time. The beast nuzzled her hands to see if she had any more goodies, and allowed her to wake Rachel without question – even though it was obvious how Jeanne moved slowly, to not seem threatening, and Tom was watching her very closely.

Rachel's first action when she awoke was to scowl at Jeanne, who had returned to scratching Tom's ears.

"That's unnatural," Rachel muttered, tugging at the kii-raja's tail to get his attention back.

"Jealous?" Jeanne asked.

"Of course not," Rachel said briskly – too briskly.

Jeanne gave the kii-raja's ears a final scratching and stood up. "Don't worry. He'd still follow you to, past and back from the gates of hell, while he ignores me completely – until I have something to feed him with."

Rachel did not look convinced. "It's unnatural," she complained to Tobias, who had just come down to land on her shoulder, and was – moreover – the only person who would listen. "He's not supposed to care about her at all."

It troubles you?

"Of course it does! He's my kii-raja. If she's so fond of them, she could get her own."

So you are jealous, Tobias concluded.

Rachel swiped playfully at him with the back of her hand. He flapped his wings in protest. "Definitely not," Rachel told him. "Besides, I thought you were supposed to be on my side."

I am, Tobias assured her. Always. But that doesn't mean I'll spoil you. Everyone needs a good debate now and then. He nibbled fondly at her hair with his beak – the way a parrot might have done, so for a hawk it looked moderately silly.

Not that that mattered. Rachel grimaced, reaching up to run a finger down his beak. Then she sat down next to Sira'aki, who was keeping guard over Menderash.

"How is he?" she wondered in the musical, rising and sinking language of the Kelbrid.

"Not better," Sira'aki told her. She was looking through her bag for the little packets of herbs. "And there is little hope he will be. He has lost too much blood, the wounds are deep and were heavily infected… they are clean now, but it might have been too late. The infection might already have spread into the blood stream. He may not hold the strength to recover."

"Has the fever lessened?"

"No."

Rachel made Tom look down at the nothlit. His face was pale grey as ashes, and he was covered in blankets up to his throat, but still shivering. The fever was obvious from the way his forehead was clammy – she need not have asked.

"How is he?"

Rachel recognized the voice – Marco's – and Tom told her that her fellow Animorph had come to stand behind her – but at a certain distance from Tom himself. (The beast seemed very pleased about that.)

"Sira'aki says he might not recover," Rachel said. "He doesn't have the strength."

Marco huffed, but the usual disdain was clearly missing. "If he doesn't have the strength, he'll get through on pure stubbornness."

Tom informed her that Marco turned and left – she heard his footsteps.

The group ate their small rations of breakfast in silence and few words were spoken. KEdi'ir won another few games of garih against Rachel, Tobias, Marco and Santorelli. Jake was in wolf morph, squatted at the edge of camp, keeping lookout (even though almost everyone else considered Tom to be lookout enough). Now and again his eyelids would start to close, his head drop slowly, as if he was falling asleep, but each time he straightened up again, annoyed.

JaLa'an and Jeanne tried to coax some food and drink into Menderash, but he could manage no more than a few mouthfuls of juice – the juice that, according to the Kelbrid, would lessen the fever.

Not much else could be done.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Author's Note;

Long note today.

Firstly; yes, I know not much happened in this chapter. And It's not going to get much better for the next one… I think.

Secondly; just a warning to Lilac27. Locking me into a force field cage with my computer would, in practice, be useless, since I write this story in notepads and on spare papers, and without them this story would be condemned to failure. Never underestimate the power of pen and paper. Staring at a screen does not help creativity. (For some strange reason, sitting on the subway with a test before you and three hours of sleep behind you does.)

Thirdly, because someone asked; yes, I live in Sweden, and mostly, it's very nice. Also, I speak Swedish, and I can both read and write in Swedish. But I've gone to English schools all my life and lived abroad a total of three times, so English is pretty much rooted into my system. That gets complicated at times. For example, when I'm writing in English, sometimes I come up with the perfect sentence, hurriedly scribble it down… and only then realise it's in Swedish. The frustration! And translating it to be equally brilliant in the other language is, of course, impossible. Not to mention all the Swenglish word-jumbles my poor friends have to live with daily.

And lastly; to solve the email problem, I put up the kii-raja picture on my livejournal. You can see it here: http://www.livejournal.com/talkread.bml?journal=stormfairy&itemid=10520

That was all.