Why Jake fears sleep

"Wake up."

The voice belonged to Rachel. Santorelli stirred, then opened his eyes and looked around. He sat up. "It's morning," he commented.

Rachel nodded. "Or will be, in another hour. It's only dawn now. But we've got work to do."

"But…" Santorelli frowned. "Who took my sentry shift?"

The blind girl shrugged. "I don't know – Jake, perhaps. Marco was first, but I think Jake took over early. I fell asleep late myself, and I heard those two moving about. At least, Tom did."

"You mean Jake nearly didn't sleep at all?"

"There was always Jeanne's shift…"

"Jeanne was supposed to have been after me," Santorelli said.

Rachel's face twisted into a grimace – that quickly disappeared again. "We'll have to keep an eye on him about that. He needs his sleep, just as all of us. Too much Fearless Leader-nonsense again."

Santorelli caught sight of Melissa, quietly asleep at the edge of camp, knees pulled up towards her and arms wrapped around herself and her blankets. She did not seem to be sleeping easily, frowning and mumbling silently in her sleep. "When did she arrive?"

"Just after you fell asleep." Not noticing the way Santorelli's eyes were narrowed, Rachel went to wake Marco. Tom was lying at a distance, watching her, and telling her in his usual private thought-pictures where she was and what was around her.

"Wake up," Rachel ordered as she kneeled by the sleeping Marco's side.

Marco didn't move.

Rachel turned him over, and let Tom have a better look. "You're already awake," she concluded.

"Not likely," Marco muttered and turned away again.

"Time to rise and shine," Rachel continued. "Sun's been up already, for all of… about seven minutes. Anyway, we've got work to do. So get up!"

"Bite me," the sleepy Animorph replied bluntly.

"I won't," Rachel told him cheerfully. "But maybe Tom will."

Marco was instantly awake, sitting up alertly. Rachel chuckled to herself as she moved on to Melissa, Sira'aki and KEdi'ir.

Breakfast consisted of small rations of kul'lj. Melissa declined her share, with the expression of someone who, used to living on hamburgers and pizza, suddenly was offered seaweed and sushi. Rachel sent Tom hunting, for he had been complaining about hunger for the last day or so.

The fact that Menderash-Postill-Fastill was no longer with them hung like a dark cloud in the back of everyone's mind, and everyone did their best to ignore it. Marco sat reciting jokes from Airplane! in an attempt to cheer everyone up – until Rachel, tired of hearing the same joke coming up for the third time, growled at him to shut up. Tom, naturally, made sure Marco did as he was told, and after that a thick silence hung over the site.

But everyone agreed that it was time to take action concerning their mission. (Melissa did not in fact actually agree, keeping her silence, but she made no objections.) And first on their to-do list was to retake their ship, since Melissa had said the One was somewhere else – and revealed, in a smug conspiring whisper, that she had arranged for it to be filled with supplies.

You told us earlier where the ship was, Tobias recalled, speaking to the former Controller – former Touched – but letting everyone in on what he was saying. Three gi'im west of the Blade ship – whatever a gi'im is.

"A gi'im is the distance one can travel in a day, if one keeps good speed and doesn't stop more than an hour or so to rest," Rachel told them – and then smiled. "But you used the word wrongly, Mel. You shouldn't say 'three gi'im'. You say 'gimah', which is 'gi'im' in the third plural – a gi'im times three."

"And if it was four gi'im?"  Jeanne asked.

"You'd either say two gi'ih – gi'im in the second plural – or four gi'i – gi'im in the unspecified plural. But then you'd have to figure out a way to say 'four'… it's easiest to use the second plural of two, or three plus one, or five minus one. Kelbrid count by using addition, subtraction and different plurals of the primes."

"Kelbrid like their plurals, don't they?" Marco commented.

Rachel nodded. "Oh yes. And every single one of them is irregular. Those things used to drive me half mad."

"Rachel. You've always been half mad," Marco joked.

Rachel simply shrugged. "Then I've still got half to go…" she grinned at Marco.

"Excuse me," Jake interrupted in a serious manner before Marco had a chance to reply. "But when, exactly, did this conversation switch to lessons in Kelbrid grammar and how mad my cousin is?"

"I think it was when Tobias wondered what 'three gi'im' was," Jeanne supplied helpfully.

"Gimah," Rachel corrected in a murmur.

Jake ignored Rachel and gave Jeanne a stare that a kii-raja would have been proud of. "Thank you, Jeanne. Very useful," he said dryly.

"You're welcome," Jeanne said, smiling a pleased-with-self smile.

Jake shook his head. But still, just getting there would take three-four days, for we're about a day's travel away from the Blade ship ourselves – I'm not sure what direction, but it's definitely not west.

Speaking of that, does anyone have a compass? Tobias wondered. For where is west?

"We need an Andalite for this," Santorelli muttered lowly, shaking his head.

There was a moment of silence.

"I know where west is," Melissa said finally.

"But four days…" Jeanne sighed.

"Not necessary," Rachel said.

"What? But if a gi'im is –"

Rachel rolled her eyes. "Honestly. Think. We've still got the fighters. We'll be there in less than an hour."

The fighters are in the lake, Tobias said. I know you've probably got some way to get them out, but the lake isn't too close either.

Rachel only smiled secretively. "Wait and see."

I don't like this, Aralgo said, shifting his weight uncomfortably back and forth between his hooves.

Why not? Larynia wondered.

I just… don't like it. I mean, the Kelbrid are our enemies. And they were planning to kill us. And suddenly – this?

But we had no choice, Estrid commented. First of all, our ship needs to reload again, and this is probably the closest habitable planet. Second, we need to find out how Ka'an, a Kelbrid, knows so much – or anything at all – about the Andalites… and the Animorphs.

What are the Animorphs? Carali asked suddenly. And who is that… that Rachel?

Estrid stared at him, accompanied by Larynia, Olana and Minalea.

You really don't know? Minalea said finally in a flat voice.

No, Carali muttered. Should I?

I don't know, either, Aralgo revealed, backing his friend up. Never heard of it.

Them, Olana corrected.

Then Minalea suddenly flicked her tail. Now I get it. You were at the Academy when Earth was freed, right?

Yes, Aralgo responded.

Larynia huffed loudly. I know because… because Aximili is my cousin. And I, of course, told my friends. But now that you mention it… the Academy never mentioned anything beyond Earth liberated, Prince Aximili – Elfangor's brother – involved, and Visser One defeated. And of course it was all the Fleet's accomplishments.

Estrid's eyes had narrowed dangerously. They actually made you believe that?

Something like it, yes, Carali said. Aralgo and I were in the first of our last two years, so we were in isolated training. No contact with anyone except teachers and arisths at our own level.

We entered isolation the year after, but personally I never got through it, Larynia said grimly. Three months in, they kicked me out.

There was a short but curious moment of silence during which Estrid privately wondered whether anyone would dare to ask why. Minalea and Olana probably knew, of course, but they said nothing.

The Academy is of course very concerned with what we arisths think of the fleet, Olana murmured instead. They want us to believe in our own superiority. We are to be totally convinced that the Fleet is invincible, and that the members of the War Council are gods.

What – they aren't?! Aralgo cried in fake-shock.

So they couldn't let you believe that outsiders, mere humans, had saved Earth, Estrid finished dryly, ignoring Aralgo.

Humans saved Earth? Carali wondered.

Yes.

Aralgo was frowning. There was a rumour… that humans had acquired the morphing power. Has that…

Something to do with it? Estrid nodded. Yes. The Animorphs, whose final member was our very own Prince Aximili, were five human youngsters who were given the morphing power.

By another of my cousins, Larynia revealed. The one known as Elfangor.

Elfangor? Aralgo spluttered, all four eyes wide. The Elfangor? Prince Elfangor? As in, the Prince El –

Same one, Larynia said smugly.

I did not know Elfangor gave them the morphing power, Estrid admitted. But then again, there is much I don't know. I do know that these humans were joined by Aximili and together they saved Earth.

So Elfangor broke Seerow's Kindness, Carali murmured. He was not looking happy about having realised that.

Which saved Earth, Estrid reminded him.

And probably our own planet, too, Larynia added. Aximili… explained that. The Fleet probably knows as well…

But they didn't feel any need to inform us lowly arisths, Aralgo growled. He sent a stalk in Larynia's direction. Care to explain?

Earth has a population of above six billion, and growing. Also, excellent resources. With Earth as a Yeerk base, under Yeerk control, we would not have stood half a chance.

Still, Carali insisted solemnly. Elfangor broke Seerow's Kindness. He actually –

Oh, hush, Carali, Minalea snapped, swatting at his shoulder to make him silence. He broke a Law. So what? I've broken Laws. Come to think of it – she giggled – I've probably broken Seerow's Kindness at some point as well.

Carali stared at her, face white.

Well, continued the prankster, I can't be sure, now can I? I can't be expected to keep track of everything…

Carali continued staring, his face now the pale colour of a grey moon, and the tip of his tail shaking.

Oh, calm down, Minalea grinned, although there was something pleading in her voice. No big deal.

We are landing, Olana announced, drawing Estrid's and the other arisths' attention away as Minalea slipped her hand into Carali's, realising that he had absolutely no sense of humour. She smiled at him as he gave her hand a gentle reassuring squeeze before letting go.

The group watched the dozens of Kelbrid fighters that were their guides – escort – guards? – descend onto the surface of a planet. The Phantom followed, its slender cobra-like form looking like a clumsy ginoren next to the small, perfectly shaped arrowhead fighters.

They had already decided that, guests or not, they were going to be living in their ship. So when they opened the door to re-greet Ka'an they carried nothing with them – not even their shredders, although neither Larynia, Carali or Aralgo would have minded the extra security of that weapon.

"Well met and welcome to Cava'ara, Andalites," said the Kelbrid. There was something in his tone that suggested that he had never thought he would utter that sentence.

Thank you, Estrid thanked, stepping out of the Phantom, followed by the curious but wary arisths.

Ka'an's eyes glittered. "First, as I can see you do not trust us – with good reason, mayhap – I wish to show you something."

What? Estrid asked.

"I know how you know Rachel," the Kelbird said in his eternally rising and falling voice, now sounding amused. "You do not know how I know her. I shall tell you; this planet, Cava'ara, is her home. Come, Andalites. Allow me to prove my words and show you her home."

Even as he spoke he knew he was lying. "It's not that bad."

"I know, but –"

But there was nothing he could do. "You might even like it. It's a matter of habit, actually, and companionship, and…"

"Yes, though –"

The words came anyway, whether he liked it or not, together with a comforting smile. "Why are you being so stubborn about it? It won't hurt. I promise. You'll be fine."

"I'm not –"

He tried to stop them, the cursed words, but his mouth and body would not obey him; it argued with him and won. "Just listen to me. We all take great care of newcomers, and you'll lack nothing. Sure, there's that –"

"But, Jake –"

She didn't want to. Why did he keep insisting in that case? Why? Yet he continued as if he hadn't even heard her. "There's that extra trip every third day, but, as said, it's a matter of habit."

She was wavering. He could see it in the way she bit into her lower lip, glancing up at him uncertainly. Why was she wavering? Because he was telling her to. Because she trusted him. Because –

"Why are you so against it, then?" he continued, taking her hands and squeezing them, searching out her gaze and holding it. "It's not like the possibility never even struck you, I mean, of course it has – it's struck us all, once or twice. Just give in. Give in and there'll be no more fighting, no more –"

"Jake, why are you –"

He wondered himself, but he felt his eyes shine happily. "I've seen the better side. I've been shown that we don't have to fight. Why fight those who welcome us with open arms? Cassie, the peaceful way out is always –"

She wavered even more, glancing to the side, towards the chair. He took a gentle grip around her shoulders and began leading her towards it. He wanted to dig his heels into the floor to stop it, but his heels refused to obey. He felt as if he was in a cage and roaring at the bars in a feeble attempt to escape as the cage moved closer and closer to damnation, and he himself moved closer and closer to madness.

Still… "Come on. I'll help you. We'll all help you."

She let herself be led towards the chair and coaxed down to sit on it. She smiled weakly up at him as he secured her hands and neck in their respective straps.

"Now, if you'd just lean your head to the side…" he said, giving her head a nudge, and she obediently lay it down into the sickly fluids, still smiling up at him, trusting him. Trusting him. "There," he continued, giving her cheek a tender caress. "There, good girl… you'll enjoy being a host."

"Here we are," Rachel said, drawing out a small object form her bag. She held it out on her palm for everyone to see. It was cubical, black, and just small enough for someone with large hands to close a fist about. It was also adorned by a big button on the upside.

"Oh," Melissa muttered, but curiously. "One of those."

"What is it?" Santorelli asked.

It looks like a toy, Tobias remarked.

"It's a remote control," Rachel told them. "But all it can do is to call for the fighter."

"Oh." Marco picked it out of Rachel's hand and studied it more closely. Tom glared at him. "So all you have to do is to push this –" His finger was bearing down on the button.

"Don't!" Rachel snapped, and Marco's button-pushing movement ceased. Rachel yanked the black cube back, and flicked the button aside – for it was not a button, it was a lid.

"Not a button?" Marco guessed.

"Oh, it's a button alright," Rachel said. "But if you push that, the entire thing blows up in your face. Just in case someone tries to steal my fighter. Ha." She grinned. "That'd teach them to steal my fighter."

"Clever," Jeanne approved.

Rachel nodded. "A tip for the future; on Kelbrid fighter remotes, do not do the obvious. No pushing buttons, flicking switches, pulling strings. The result varies from boom to poison injection, but none of it is pleasant."

"And you, of course, chose the boom," Marco said with fake nonchalance.

Rachel grinned again. "What did you expect? I like booms. The bigger, the better." She made a short gesture at her kii-raja, and frowned for a moment, as she was listening to his reply. She grimaced. "I was just about to turn to Jake and ask if we need the fighters right away, but… obviously not."

Jake's asleep, Tobias said.

Marco's head whipped around. There was, for a moment, alarm on his face but then it was drowned in relief. "Finally."

Jake half-sat, half-lay leaning against a tree, just behind them all, and had fallen asleep without anyone noticing. His face was turned away, hiding his expression.

"That's what happens when you insist on taking all sentry duty yourself," Santorelli huffed. "Fine, letting everyone else sleep isn't a bad idea, but it doesn't work out well in the end."

"Except he didn't let everyone else sleep," Marco muttered. "He asked me to stay awake to keep him away. I failed, but he woke me up about seven times to talk him back to full consciousness."

"That's why you were awake this morning," Rachel said.

"Correct," Marco admitted, glancing towards the Animorph leader. "But he needs that. He hasn't slept properly for two nights."

"Why not?" Jeanne wondered, a frown of concern on her forehead.

"Because of Menderash?" Rachel guessed softly. "But he should know better than to take the blame for that on himself."

Marco shook his head. He snuck a suspicious glance at Melissa. "No, not guilt. Not this time. It's… well, our Fearless Leader has been… having nightmares." He grimaced. "And technically I wasn't supposed to tell you."

"Nightmares?" Melissa echoed.

"Yes, nightmares. Bad dreams. Every time he closes his eyes, he claims. That's why he's been taking all the sentry shifts; he doesn't want to sleep."

"Bad dreams about what?" Jeanne asked.

"Cassie," Marco told the group in a low voice. "And I shouldn't be telling you that, either, but… he keeps dreaming of Cassie. Always different scenario, but always the same. It's all about someone trying to harm Cassie – someone trying to infest Cassie."

"Do those two have a history?" Melissa wondered. "Jake and Cassie, I mean."

"Yep," Marco confirmed. "But after the war it descended into three years of 'I'm just about to call her'."

"Typical," huffed Melissa, while Rachel frowned disapprovingly in Jake's general direction.

There was silence. It was broken by Tobias, who finally said; Trying to infest Cassie. Like when it all started. Like that first time in the Pool. Remember? That Controller-cop who'd caught her?

Rachel nodded, stroking Tom's head with one hand and fingering the remote control to her fighter with her other. "Jake wasn't happy then. But… why would he be so worried about her now? She's on Earth. She's safe there. That's why he left her behind."

"I think it's more complex than that," Marco said softly. "There's something not quite right about the way he's been getting these dreams. Last time he woke, he said that it felt as if someone was going through and showing him all the possible scenarios where Cassie's about to be infested. As if he's supposed to study them, learn them."

"But every time I can't help her," Jake's grim voice suddenly came from behind them. His eyes were focused, annoyed, on Marco. "I shouldn't have told you."

Marco gaped for a second, but then closed his mouth and glared back at Jake. "They might need to know, too. And besides, weren't you asleep?"

"It wasn't your place to tell them," Jake snarled. "And yes, I was asleep. Was. For that's the problem with this. I can't sleep. I can't, because I only wake up again, and before that I see her, and…" his voice faded and he sat staring at his empty hands, which he had laid on his lap. Then he closed his eyes and continued in a strangled whisper; "…and I can't help her."

"One moment," Ka'an said, when Estrid was about to follow the other arisths towards the large tree where two other Kelbrid – introduced as A'akul and Pa'arik (the latter of which was being flanked by a large, golden creature with a nasty row of spikes along his spine) – led them.

Estrid stopped, turning halfway. Carali and Larynia hesitated as well, their stalks quizzical as they wondered what she was stopping for. She motioned for them to go on, and then looked at Ka'an with all four eyes. But she quickly let her stalks start swivelling again; being surrounded by the curious but wary Kelbrid made her nervous.

Ka'an waited until the other Andalites were out of earshot, and then spoke in an expressionless voice; "They may be youngsters, scientist, but you are not." The word scientist was in fact spoken in English, and pronounced zi'entis. Estrid did not realise this until later, as her translating chip smoothed out the border between the two languages. When she did realise it she wondered if perhaps there was no word for scientist in the Kelbrid language, which puzzled her.

But at the time, she composed her features into a carefully unconcerned expression. Perhaps not, she admitted stiffly.

"You are honest. Good." Taking note of her expression his ears leaned outwards. "Do not worry – that you are not a youngster is no reason to have you killed. I am a warrior, Andalite, not a murderer. I kill intruders, not guests." His black, white-pupilled eyes glittered. "And we have common enemies, li'ith y'limith. You are lucky to have come this way. Yeerks do not come to Cava'ara."

Why not? Estrid asked, remembering her surprise when the Andalite-Controllers had simply given up the chase.

"Because our sun emits particles that break down Kandrona. They starve."

And therefore, Olana's sudden freedom, Estrid concluded at once.

"That is why we remain here," Ka'an continued. "We will not be taken as the Gedds, or Hork-Bajir, or bribed as the Taxxons." His voice dropped in pitch as he added; "Unfortunately, most Kelbrid are taken by another. They are Touched, Chosen, but one who directs them, controls them, abuses them. They are shackled by the One."

The One, Estrid repeated, and shuddered. I have met him. We did not get along very well.

"You have met him, opposed him, and yet you live? Kanifach, scientist, kanifach."

Estrid's translating chip told her that 'kanifach' was a way to both praise and cheer someone on. She had the feeling that it was used only rarely.

Then Ka'an turned again. "Now follow me. I shall lead you to the others."

"So the plan is basically this," Jake said. He was pacing back and forth through the small clearing as he spoke. "We move when dark falls, because Kelbrid don't see much in the dark. They only see movement. We pack into the fighters and are set down about a kilometre from the Rachel, in groups, with Jeanne and Marco out first to scout the area around the ship as owls. When the second group arrives we meet up with them, send JaLa'an, Sira'aki, and KEdi'ir home, and we start working on the guards. Rachel and Tobias will be out with the Hawk causing a distraction closer to the Blade ship to keep the Yeerks' main focus elsewhere away, and we either sneak past or take care of the guards we find. Anyone lost yet?"

"Yep," Marco admitted. "What was the plan again?"

Jake gave him a sharp stare. A weary stare. A I'm-too-tired-to-deal-with-any-of-your-nonsense stare.

Marco kept silent after that.

"Once we've got the ship, we are officially leaving," Jake finished.

Melissa smiled broadly in eager happiness and relief at that.

"When are the fighters arriving?" Jeanne asked.

"In another minute or so," Rachel replied offhandedly.

"When you're up in the Hawk, can I borrow Tom again?"

Rachel's face went blank, but her eyes sparkled dangerously. Marco looked up sharply, staring first at Jeanne and then sending a suspicious glare at the golden kii-raja at Rachel's side, before groaning and sinking to the ground in a resigned manner.

"He'd do more good on the ground than asleep in your fighter," Jeanne continued. "And… and I think he'd appreciate being in the forest instead of the Hawk."

Rachel stroked her kii-raja's head. Tobias was coming with her in the fighter, so she could manage without Tom's guidance – in her fighter she was fine on her own. But still… "What'll you do with him when you morph owl to scout?" she wondered finally, searching for holes in Jeanne's suggestion.

"With Tom I don't need to morph," Jeanne pointed out. "He's probably a better scout than an owl, anyway."

"But he doesn't speak to you," Rachel objected, still stroking Tom's head. "You don't know what he's seeing."

"Whatever it is, he'll be capable of handling it, or pointing it out to me and Marco," Jeanne said, shrugging. "He'll be of great use. And it's not like you won't get him back. I'm not trying to steal him."

"I know," Rachel gritted. The fighters had begun appearing above them, circling once each before carefully lowering themselves to the ground. It was hard to remember that they were all moving on autopilot, merely following the call of the remote controls. Rachel stood up. "Fine," she muttered as she turned towards the Hawk, Tom flanking her like the faithful shadow he was. "Fine, you can borrow him. But I don't like it."

Jeanne reached out to pet the kii-raja's golden side as he and Rachel passed her. Rachel spoke to the two adult Kelbrid, while KEdi'ir worked on digging out the last – yes, the last – of their supplies and split it into equal portions for people to eat. Marco, having nothing better to do, helped him. Jake began nodding off to sleep.

Jeanne stared critically at a wisp of her hair. "Time for another bath," she sighed.

Jake, suddenly wide awake, turned towards her and snapped sharply; "No baths."

"But we've got plenty of time before –"

"No baths. Take a shower when we get the ship back."

Jeanne started to protest, but then shrugged. Jake sat glaring suspiciously at her for another few minutes, as if she might sneak off.

The fighters waited. The group ate their food, and waited. Marco, Jeanne and Santorelli took turns waking Jake each time he began falling asleep. Finally Rachel decided to do something about it. She gave her cousin some dry herbs and told him to chew them.

"What for?" he asked suspiciously.

"It's fedra'ac. It'll keep you awake," Rachel said simply. "Because tonight will not be the endless opportunity of naps you seem to think."

Jake grimaced, but obediently put the herbs in his mouth… and almost spat them right back out in disgust, but Rachel had placed a hand over his mouth and her eyebrows were raised in an amused manner. Suddenly he realised how strange it was; she was making an expression to him, but not at him. Not once did she look at him. Of course not, she was blind, she couldn't see him, but it was so easy to forget her blindness.

"No. Chew them, I said." Rachel shook her head once, still not at him; then removed her hand, and moved away. Jake grimaced and began chewing, narrowly avoiding to spit the herbs out again.

No wonder they'd keep him awake. He'd never tasted anything so bitter in his life.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Author's Note;

Here we go, long note;

Firstly, I'll just mention that – when it comes to Jake's dreaming – I was inspired (okay, so I basically "borrowed" the entire idea) by David Eddings's book two of the Mallorean, Demon Lord of Karanda. *recommends every book in the series* To any of you who've read that (and… hm… basically know it by heart…) sorry about spoiling some of the future plot.

Secondly, Rose O'conner drew very nice picture of Tom the kii-raja. Big thanks to her for that. You can see the picture here: http://www.livejournal.com/talkpost.bml?journal=stormfairy&itemid=15047

Oh, and thirteen people told me they're reading this. (And I'm sure there's at least a few more who're simply too lazy to review… I'd be one of them, if this hadn't been my story.) That means I won my bet by six people! *dances around in silly circles* My friend asked me why I was wasting time posting this, and I answered that it was because people read it. Not many enough to care, insisted my friend, guessing that tops seven people worry about this at all (including me), and now… well, next time anyone tells me I'm simply wasting my time, I'll be able to… hm. Never mind. Besides, if I want to waste my time, it's mine to waste. *stubborn expression*

Thanks for loyal reading and reviewing. Not having someone to comment what you put on paper (or into the computer) takes away the fun of writing. That's the real reason I post this. And by now, I can't leave you all hanging, can I?

*considers* Well, then again, I could… *evil cackle that gradually fades into the distance*

Hm. Wrong chapter to put that on, since this time – in honour of being pursued by that EVIL number (1½) for (now more than) one and a half week (AARGH!) – I am posting one AND A HALF chapter. So go read the next half. The other half will of course be up later, but I'm warning you; when I say half, I mean half. As in, it stops halfway through the chapter's middle word.