Diclaimer: I Disclaim.
Author's Notes: This will be ten chapters long. Harry will find the RIGHT one in chapter ten. I will update this small fic daily. The title and first quote has parts of Akon's Lonely. Not mine.And please note, this is a joke. It's humor. Funneh.
Chapter I - - Mr. Lonelyv.s.Lavender
"I'm so lonely… I have nobody… Nobody loves me!" Harry Potter cried, banging his head up and down on his 'Dating Table'. Ron had set up a stand to help Harry find the perfect girl. Pfft. If there was such a thing.
You see, Harry Potter had not kissed a girl since Cho in his fifth year. It was now his seventh year, and Harry had been named the school Drama Queen. He was always moping around and doing pathetic things. BECAUSE HE IS PATHETIC! Ironic, isn't it? That's what Ron based his slogan on. Date Harry Potter and mold him into something that isn't pathetic!
Harry had interviewed countless girls. And he was aiming toward a goal. Yep, the number four seemed to be Harry's luck number.
Suddenly a GIRL sat down on the stool in front of the booth and gave Harry a sheepish smile. "Hi, do you want to go to Hogsmeade sometime soon, Harry?"
"Umm. You have to answer the questionnaire. Firstly, boxers, knickers, or briefs?"
The girl, a certain Lavender Brown, looked at him in disgust. "What kind of question is that?"
"Next question. Are you wild and kiss before the one year anniversary? Personally, I think that might be a little outlandish, but-"
"Goodbye, Harry."
Lavender got up, only to roll her eyes and tear up the brochure. Which wasn't that impressive anyway.
Seeing Goyle pass by with a DROP DEAD SEXY smirk, Harry called out to Lavender, "It's over, baby! We're through! You weren't that special, anyway. But I'm special! I know I am. See, I have a scar. AND YOU DON'T! So, nah! Ha! You'll never find someone out there like me-"
Harry trailed off as he saw Lavender throw her boyfriend, Seamus, against the wall and snog his brains out.