Disclaimer: I disclaim. Muhahaha... But Drakey is MINE!

Author's Notes: Please check out my other stories, and I hope you enjoy this one. This is a joke. I would never write like this in real life... Is this real life? Oh, by the way, I'll give you a hint to the ending. It'll be -gaspeh- Slash. No, I don't like slash, but it will be funny! Don't worry, no gross stuff... FLAMES ARE WELCOME:)

Chapter III - - Can't Weasel Yourself a Date. OR Harry Potter Turns Goth

Harry felt a tear run down his cheek as Ginny poked him in the eye with some blue eyeliner. (AN: LOVE the stuff! -gushes-) "Gosh, Weasel Queen, I could have poked myself by myself!"

Ginny mumbled something about Pothead not making sense and purposely began to put green eye shadow on the corner of his eyes. "Just because you have your new 'look', doesn't mean you can act like an ass like Malfoy! I didn't even get flowers!"

"What was that, Little Red?" Malfoy said as he came around the corner, carrying a large black suitcase.

"Nothing, Drakey. Did you bring the other supplies?"

"Yeah. And I had to drag them away from Pansy like a goblin with galleons. Remind me why we're helping Potter again?"

"Because you love me, Ferret Boy. Besides, Pothead here owes me a favor."

"I don't even want to know..." Draco muttered and unlatched the suitcase. It held everything they needed to cause… accidents. -evil grin-

Ginny grabbed the tweezers and whispered to Draco, "Curl his eyelashes."

"My pleasure."

About thirty seconds later, Harry found his eyebrows being plucked at a slow rate and his eyelashes almost being yanked out of his eyelids.

This went on and on, and Harry was beginning to become restless. Suddenly, Harry let out a blood curdling scream.

"Damn! What the hell is wrong with you!"

"Draco, what'd you do to him?"

"Pierced his ear, is all."

"The queer one?"

"Sadly… yes." Draco held in his laughter and popped a skull shaped stud into Harry's ear. "For you, Weasel." Draco winked at Ginny and put his thumb up.

"My boyfriend is a bleeding idiot…" Ginny muttered to herself and continued to mix the dye for Harry's hair.

"What color?"

"Black."

"It's already black."

"Onyx then. It's darker." Harry said and busied himself by charming his clothes black.

And so they had transformed him. They used cover up for his scar, trimmed his hair into a meterosexual style, and dyed it onyx. Harry was told by Draco to pierce his tongue with an ice cube and a needle. His eyes were now a dark brown, and he wore green eyeshadow, the blue eyeliner from before, and a darker green to edge his eyes. Harry had nicked a pair of black shoes. Which was unfortunate because the only ones he could find were Hermione's.

The heels were killing him.

Harry had done it. He was now Goth. (AN: No offense to anyone reading this! This is a joke, and I am going by stereotypes! Believe me, I hate to label people and this is just a joke:P If you want to flame me, please do so.)

Finishing up, Harry turned to Ginny and smiled devilishly through his ONYX hair. "Weasley, want to have a go with me?"

"No, she doesn't." Draco answered for her. Ginny shook her head. "Doubt you could get anyone looking like that… Come on, Gin. Let's find a broom closet."

"'Mmmkay."

Harry was now alone again. The depression instantly fell upon him and he felt like the incredible Hulk, waiting to unleash his wrath!

Author's Notes: I have no clue in hell what I'm doing. Any ideas?