Hey everybody! I'm SOOO sorry it's taken me so long to write this next chapter, but I haven't had any decent ideas for this fic for AGES. Anyway, here it is. This is dedicated to all the yoga lovers out there.

Forrest Discovers Her 'Inner Tree'

View from the Author:

A few months had passed since possum nipple warmer episode (nothing really happened to that, a real shame too. She could have been rich AND famous.). It was a few uneventful, extremely boring "is it time to die I'm so goddamn bored!" months. The noble House of Black had been made worthy of living in a fair few months ago, leaving excess time to think. Too much excess time if you were to ask Forrest. But I wouldn't, if I was you – you'd be there for months listening to how unbearably boring her time has been here.

Well, if you have a few extra months on hands, what would you do? You'd learn yoga, that's what you'd do. So that's what the wonderful author told Forrest to do. And she rather dutifully did it, as the author could have her killed off at any time the author wanted, and replace her with Neville Longbottom. She'd mastered any breathing exercise, and became extremely flexible in the process. She was now up to one of the final stages – Finding Your Inner Tree. This was, of course, a very important step for her, as it meant she was near every Yoga participant's goal: the wondrous Self Actualisation.

View from Forrest:

"'Think "tree-like" thoughts. Do the special breathing exercises as practised in units one through five. Breathe in – two – three- and out – two – three.'" what a lovely, calming voice. It really makes me happy to hear that patronising woman talking at me through the cassette player like that.

Half an hour later of calming breathing and tree-like thoughts:

Oooh… I am a tree. Oh happy sunshine! Glorious sunshine! Rain your beautiful rays of light onto me sturdy, strong leaves! Oh, the happiness!

"Harry! Darling! Why don't you come and find your Inner Tree with me! Its very soothing."

"Erm, I, err, ah, have to do that, um, thing for, um…"

"Codswallop. You can do that later. Now, be a tree with me!" and both Harry and Forrest stood on one leg, looking very stupid to the passer-by.

"Sirius, you can join me and Harry here too. Be a tree with us! Become One with your Inner Tree!"

"Meh, why not. Its not as if I have anything better to do with my godforsaken time." And then there was three trees standing in a row in the living room of the infamous Sirius Black.

"Lets let our leaves sway in the breeze… be a willow tree, swaying and swaying…"I said in a dreamy voice. Somewhat like the one on the tape. "Fred! George!" I snapped in a stricter tone. I changed back into the dreamy one. "be trees with us! Come, and find you Inner Tree! If we get three more people, we could have a wee tree colony."

"From looking around…" Fred started. Or was it George?

"…We'd say you already have one!" finished the other.

I simply shot them the most acidic glare I possibly could (I even changed my eyes from misty blue to vibrant green), and the two boys obediently stood in the appropriate Tree position. Very impressive if you ask me. But you probably wouldn't go around talking to girls who think they are Trees.

Within the next twenty-seven minutes and thirty-two point three five nine one seconds, I had managed to recruit Hermione, Ron, Bill, Charlie, Mr. and Mrs. Weasley, Dumbledore, Voldemort, Snape, Victor Krum and Peter Pettigrew. It was any insane persons dream.

But my peaceful thinking time was rudely interrupted. You see, we'd run out of space in the living room, so we simply moved camp to the square of grass near Grimwald Road.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHH! I think there's a bird in my hair! GET IT OUT! GET IT OUT! GET IT OUT!" Hermione screamed. Hmmm. She really DID look like a tree. If I was a bird, I would nest in her hair. Looks very… very nest-like.

"Congratulations, Hermione! You've just found your Outer Tree! How does that make you feel?" that's another thing I've always wanted to know. Well, at least since I started this whole Yoga thing.

Meanwhile, with Fred, George and Mundungus…

"I'll bet you five galleons you can't find your Outer Tree!" Fred muttered out of the side of his mouth to George and Mundungus.

"I raise you to six." countered George.

"I say, eight galleons, plus a 'skiving snack box'." Mundungus said proudly, as if he'd solved the worlds hunger problem. But its not as if that's going to happen anytime soon – this is Mundungus we're talking about.

Back to Forrest…

After the dreaded Hair Episode, we all got settled back into our tree-like ways. Bert had joined in, but looked a little more like a garden weed to me, than a big, tall, strong tree. Ah well. I guess not everyone's cut out to be tree material. Meh. Not like I care.

Later. A lot later.

I was in charge of cooking the evening. I decided to go for a naturale theme – stuff I'd grown in my nipple-warmer garden out back. So we had lemons. Lots of lemons. I like lemons now, they're fascinating things. "If god gives you lemons, don't be boring and say 'I like lemons, what else ya got?' take 'em to a lab to be scientifically analysed. If they're good, make pie." That's what I say. There's nothing like a good old lemon meringue pie (a/n: if you don't know what lemon meringue pie is, don't ask me, coz I won't explain) so we had lemon-tartar sauce, lemon meringue pie and lemon-scotch ice cream. With plenty of lemons. I think I might have a cheese theme next time I cook. Yummy cheesy goodness.

Well. It's short. And it took a long time to come. But it is done. Another chapter. Now, push the pretty "go" button and write a nice wee review for me. And while you're doing that, you can also add this story to your "favourites", and make me happy. You don't want me to remove this, do you? It is under threat of being removed, as I am not getting as many reviews as I would like to be getting.

Pink Flamingo Girl (aka FishStixSatay :) )