Heh heh.. yes I know. The last chapter was an utter disgrace. This shall fit more of your likings:)

And this is was under inspiration about me and Casey discovering an 'element' of FF7 doujinshi. :D

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Delusional

Chapter 11: Rufus' Cure

One day, Rufus ShinRa was in a good mood. A good mood you ask? Quite a first it was. It was the day his brand new super computer came with DSL in it.

With glee, he sat at his desk, cracked his knuckles, and turned on his computer.

When his desktop appeared, he clicked on his Internet Explorer and started searching random stuff on Google (mostly about him).

"Ooh, what's this? A RufusxTseng Shounen-ai doujinshi? I really don't know what it means even though ifitmayhavesomethingtodowithgaymenhavingsex but what the hell! It has me in it right?" He said to himself clicking on the link.

5 minutes later...

Rufus began to suffer from a seizure. It was so traumatizing he couldn't even hold on to the mouse. Quickly, he ran out of his office.

VROOOM! The way he ran sounded like a race car. He passed Jaz holding hot cocoa, making her spill it. "Aaw, shit man. That was the last cocoa. I wonder what's up with him anyway.." she said.

Rufus ran and ran and ran. He ran like he wind. He ran with force. He ran faster faster FASTER! STICK IT IN! (oops... I'm getting out of hand) That's until he came to a complete stop. His eyes widened. Tseng. "Hello, sir." Tseng greeted holding some coffee.

Rufus remained paralyzed. He couldn't move. He started to sweat. 'Oh, gawd, what am I going to do!'

As he stared at Tseng wearing the usual Turk suit, he hallucinated Tseng wearing a sexy thong and holding some condoms. "AAAAACK!" Rufus screamed bobbling his head back and forth in confusion. 'What a big d!' Rufus thought.

"B-boss.. are you alright?" Tseng said quite worried.

In Rufus' consciousness...

"Hello, Rufus," said a young girl.

"WHO ARE YOU!" Rufus yelled.

"My name is Shenka..." she answered.

"Shenka from 5th Grade?" Rufus asked.

"Yeah, it's been a while then. How's your d?" Shenka asked.

Returning to Reality...

"Ah, it's fine. I have to have a check-up on it every now and then but it gets better. I just had my yearly surgery yesterday.." Rufus said talking to Shenka... in his mind.

Tseng looked at Rufus raising a brow. "Uuh.. President Rufus?"

Jaz came along. "What the hell is his problem?" she asked as Rufus continued to make a conversation with 'himself.' Tseng shrugged and took out a cell phone. "Call up the paramedics to the top floor NOW!"

"GO JOE!" replied the guy.

"Shut the f up before I yank your precious winky off!" Tseng growled.

Back in Rufus' consciousness

"Anyway... AAAAGH AAAAAGHHH AGGGGHHH!" Rufus began screaming.

"Shut up! Next thing you know you'll be pissing in your pants!" Shenka scolded.

"I already did." Rufus said shamefully.

Shenka rolled her eyes. "Rufus, you can't keep doing this forever. You must face your fears."

"I.. can't..."

"DO IT!"

"No..."

"Do it."

"No."

"Do it!"

"NO!"

"DO IT!"

"NOOO!"

Back in reality...

Tseng and Jaz watched Rufus breaking down.

Jaz ate popcorn as Rufus continued to scream. "And i thought Sephiroth was crazy."

"F YOU AHOLE!" Seph yelled out of nowhere.

Tseng narrowed his eyes. "Where are they?" he sighed impatiently.

All of the sudden, Rufus stopped screaming and looked up at Tseng with a scary glare in his eyes.

Jaz scooted away. Tseng froze.

Rufus began to froth his mouth. Tseng stuttered. "What the--"

Reno started to walk up behind Tseng. "Hey, Tseng, whats up!"

Rufus leaped at Tseng but he dodged Rufus so Rufus jumped on Reno and began to... do things.

"Yes yes! ROCK MY WORLD! AHAHAHHAHA!" Reno laughed victoriously. "AHAHAHAHAHA --Ooh! That's tender down there! Watch it!"

Jaz fainted.

Tseng stared in disgust.

Suddenly, the paramedics came to find Reno and Rufus... on the floor... making noises... (cough cough)

One of the paramedics smiled. "Our work here is done..." he said. "The President is cured."

Another one took a picture of them and they walked away.

"I wonder who could've done this to ShinRa-sama..." Jaz mumbled half-asleep.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Somewhere... out there...Bill Gates typed vigorously on his keyboard. "MUAHAHHAHA!"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Hehehehehe.. did that amuse u all? Yes yes. Rufus is back. And he's cured. LMAO

Anyway, special guest star was me as Jaz (myself) and Shenka... a fellow reviewer who reviewed me on Chapter 7! X3 Hope i didnt screw up her OOC... but what she did to Rufus.. she should be happy already.