Anomolies of the System
By Sargent Snarky
Sequel to Ignorance Is Bliss
I suppose that would make this, therefore, a Trequel to Fragments of a Shattered Mirror
Note: Takes place during Legend of the Twilight. I'm basing this off the manga, because I don't care for the anime. Ok? Ok. No complaining about that.
Disclaimitage: I don't own .hack, nor do I own the plot of LotT. But, I do own my own ideas. XP
Summary: SEQUAL to IiB. An altered version of LotT in which the A.I.s of Kite and Tsukasa are involved. Just because they look and seem like normal players doesn't mean Kamui leaves them alone. Besides, neither one can resist meddling…
Warning! Fluff abounds…
Ok, Ok… I haven't even finished IiB, but… This idea occurred to me… and it's just so fluffy and cute! And… you guys need something other than angst, anyway…
Oh, and.. just so you know, I'm not going to detail all that Shugo and Rena and co. do… I'm just going to describe K&Tsu's involvement, and what those two happen to be doing… Please note that this takes place about four years following IiB…
Chapter I : Payment for a bet
"They're down there," remarked Kite as he sat with Tsukasa on the roof of one of the many buildings of Mac Anu. "By the gate."
"I see." A sudden grin lit up Tsukasa's face, and she began to sing, "I think I'm a clone now… There's always one of me just hangin' around…"
"Oh, shut up. That's the last time I let you convince Helba to let us access old music files…"
As Kite said this, a display opened up in one of the squares, showing a message from Balmung, the system administrator. The note proclaimed a new event just about to open.
Kite grinned. "Hey! Balmung's opened up a new event. Want to go?"
"You just want to stalk your clone. Look, they're checking out the message, too."
"Along with… Mistral?"
"No. That's not Mistral. Remember she gave her account to her daughter. She told us that she would."
"Oh yeah. I bet she's changed the username."
"Probably. So… are we going to sit up here chatting, or are we going to go and attempt the event ourselves?"
"Let's go through the event. I want to see what Balmung's prize is this time."
" 'A beet is neat, but a gourd is adored.' Hmm… I wonder what he means by that."
"Eh. Who knows? Let's go!"
And then, amazingly, the pair disappeared amidst three golden rings. That in and of itself ought not to have been surprising, though… Except for the fact that they weren't anywhere near the chaos gate…
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
The pair appeared in Gaia's Garden, the locale of the event, surrounded by vegetables. Tsukasa poked one with her staff, and Kite pulled one out of the ground. It was large, pink, and heart-shaped.
"That… is just scary," said Tsukasa before thwacking it with her stave. It split in twain, revealing a treasure chest. She poked it open with her staff.
"Just a note." Kite picked it up. "'Try again.' Signed Balmung. Ok then.."
Kite pulled up another one of the veggies and split it with one of the Sin of Hades blades. (He and Tsukasa both happened to have excellent weapons… And maxed out stats, in a way.) Again, a treasure chest, and again a note proclaiming that this was not the one. After a few more tries, they stopped, gazing around in puzzlement.
"So… maybe it's not the weird heart shaped thingies… What was his clue again?" said Kite.
"A beat is neat, but a gourd is adored," murmured Tsukasa. And then, she said, "Aha! I see… Help me find a pumpkin or something…"
"A pumpkin..? Ooooh. Well… there's one over there." Kite pointed, and Tsukasa darted over to it.
"Pumpkin pudding…" She then thwacked it, but upon being struck, the pumpkin became a jack-o-lantern and that, in turn, became a Pumpkin Head.
Kite blinked at it, exchanged a glance with Tsukasa, then sliced it with one stroke. The thing crumpled and vanished, leaving behind another treasure chest.
"Wow. So difficult," said Tsukasa.
"Well, we are in the lowest server right now."
"True…" Tsukasa bent down and opened the chest. "What the heck?"
She pulled out cat ears, a tail, a sailor fuku and a maid's outfit. Kite smirked. Tsukasa merely blinked in confusion.
"Balmung has strange prizes, sometimes. Somehow, I doubt these will enhance anyone's love life."
"I dunno," said Kite, grinning.
Tsukasa gave him a blank stare. "You mean you think these will improve your love life? You've got to be kidding me…"
Kite shook his head, still grinning. Suddenly, Tsukasa caught on and glared. "I am never putting these on… So you can stop following that train of thought right now!"
"Awe… But you'd be so cute! Can't you at least put the cat ears and tail on?"
"No."
"Please?"
"NO."
"Come on, Tsukasa…."
"NO!"
"Pretty please with sugar on top?"
"Hell no."
"Oh. I see. You're afraid."
"I am not."
"Then prove it!"
"No."
"So you are afraid. Ha!"
Tsukasa gave him a patented death-glare.
"Can't you do it as a favor, since it is Valentine's Day, and all? Besides, you do still owe me."
"How do I owe you?"
"You did loose that bet as to whether Balmung's assistant would last more than a year…"
A muscle in Tsukasa's cheek twitched. "Fine. But I sure am not changing in front of you."
"Oh… Why not?" Tsukasa lifted her staff to hit him, and Kite quickly amended, "I was only joking! I swear!"
Tsukasa glared at him venomously, and they warped out. A few minutes later, they had made their way to the Net Slums. Tsukasa disappeared into one of the buildings, while Kite poked about for Aura. He found her, after only a short search, and explained to her what he'd managed to get Tsukasa to do.
"I don't suppose you have a camera," he added, almost as an afterthought.
"Mm.. Not exactly," replied Aura. "But that doesn't mean I can't take a picture."
"All right! I get copies, right?"
When Tsukasa emerged from the building dressed in the sailor fuku, (Kite had insisted that she try that one on first), Kite's jaw dropped. Free from her loose, concealing robes, it became apparent that Tsukasa actually did have a feminine figure. She wasn't extremely curvy, but her shape was somewhat hourglass-ish. She was trim and fit, her skin smooth and clear, and the sailor fuku didn't look at all bad on her. In fact, it flattered her in a way. Kite stared for a long moment before Aura poked him. Tsukasa blushed under his gaze.
"Wow…" Kite breathed. "I think you should wear that instead of your robes."
Tsukasa sauntered over to him, trying her best to keep up the death-glare (though her blush kind of ruined the effect). She crossed her arms over her chest. "Happy Valentine's day," she grumbled. "Happy? I now owe you nothing!"
"I think she looks kind of like she belongs with Sailor Moon," said Aura, blinking at the pair.
Tsukasa arched an eyebrow. "Sailor Moon?"
"An old anime show that still circulates on the 'net," explained Aura. "Still… You look cute." Aura grinned. "Umm… I'll be back in a minute."
She then disappeared along one of the many alleyways, leaving the other two blinking after her. "Oookay then," said Tsukasa.
She was still looking after Aura when Kite suddenly put his hands on her waist. She looked back at him. "She's right," he said. "You are extremely cute like this."
Tsukasa blushed fiercely and was about to move away when Kite leant forward and kissed her. Her lavender eyes widened in surprise; that was unexpected. But, she returned the kiss, letting her eyelids fall shut as she lost herself for a brief moment. Kite clasped his hands behind her back, not letting her go, though the kiss ended. Instead, he gazed, smiling, into her eyes.
"I love you," he said.
"I know," she replied. "But I'm still irked at you for making me wear this."
"You don't sound mad."
"Too bad. I am."
"Happy Valentine's Day."
And then Kite kissed her again; the two embraced, and the kiss was deep.
"Perfect!" said Aura, brightly. "You two make such a lovely couple… This picture is definitely a keeper."
Their kiss broke off abruptly as they stared at Aura. "You did not just take a picture!" Kite said.
Aura held up the picture, along with one of just Tsukasa in the sailor fuku. "These two are definitely keepers…"
Tsukasa flushed deeply. "Give me those! I do not need anyone else seeing me dressed like this!"
"Catch me if you can!" Aura darted off, and Tsukasa attempted to follow, but Kite wouldn't let her.
"She's getting away!" whined Tsukasa.
Kite grinned. "Too bad."
A/N
Soooo... How'd I do on the fluff? Please tell me... I haven't ever written much fluff...
Mimiru: -snatches picture of Tsukasa in sailor fuku from Aura- O.O HOLY COW! Tsukasa... I never would have expected that from you...
Sora: -snags picture from Mimiru- Muahah! Boing! I'm going to go post this on the boards so everyone can see!
Tsukasa: -wails- noooo!
Mimiru: -shifty eyes- And I'm going to show this one to Blackrose... -holds up picture of Tsukasa & Kite kissing-
Kite: O.O! Oh no... cat fight... -runs and hides-
Blackrose: -is shown the picture- -vein pulses in forehead- HER CORPSE IS MINE!
Tsukasa: -smiles smugly at Blackrose-
Blackrose: -fumes- HOW DARE YOU STEAL MY BOYFRIEND! HE'S MINE! -pouts- Even the games leant towards a pairing of me and him... Did you not notice the almost but not really subtle hints!
Tsukasa: Well.. yeah, but it was me he was kissing, right? He's actually a pretty good kisser, I must say.
Blackrose: -pulls out her mammoth sword- Oh really? Well kiss cold steel! -tries to decapitate Tsukasa-
Tsukasa: -blocks sword with staff- Y'know.. Kite -is- dead. Why are you so gung-ho to have him? -gasps in horror- You aren't a necrophiliac, are you?
Blackrose: -is furious- What! How dare you accuse me of something so disgusting!
Tsukasa: Ah! You didn't deny it!
Blackrose: I am NOT a necrophiliac!
Tsukasa: O.o Then why are you trying to kill me for kissing a fellow dead person?
Blackrose: -huffs- it's the principle of the matter! -attacks Tsukasa again-
Tsukasa: Oh. -defends-
Kite: -ventures out from his hidey-hole- Um.. girls? Can't we all just get along?
Tsukasa: -shrugs- Hey, the necrophiliac is the one who attacked me...
Kite: O.O! You're a necrophiliac! Ewww... Get away from me, and don't you DARE go anywhere NEAR my grave! Sicko...
Blackrose: I AM NOT A NECROPHILIAC!
Kazu: Necro-what? Akira's a necromancer?
Tsukasa: No. She's a necrophiliac.
Kazu: What's that?
Kite: Um... You don't want to know... Believe me.
Blackrose: For the last time: I AM NOT A ----ING NECROPHILIAC!
- - - -
Me: And here we'll break up the scene. Umm... If you don't know what a necrophiliac is... Um... That's a good thing. I really wish I didn't know what one was, but... uh... Look it up if you really have to know...
Anyway... The excerpt "I think I'm a clone now. There's always one of me just hangin' around" is a quote from one of Weird Al's songs. I can't remember the title of it... but it's a parody of the song "I think I'm alone now." Or something like that.
PLEASE REVIEW! PLEASE!