sighs-I finished the next chapter! Well, obviously, otherwise I wouldn't be posting… anyway! Reviews, first and foremost—

ShibiChicken—a male hooker club…. –sniggers—that's really funny…. Actually, Joey isn't going to be bigheaded at all about being in the LEG. This is, after all, an AU. And yes, you are getting bad at predicting my fics, because Tea was blushing over the perfect trio :p.

merchante file—laughs- I have to admit, I feel really dumb, because when I first got that wrong review, I sat and thought about it for a really long time, thinking you were being abstract or something… so I was a bigger airhead : ). Tom'll be helping out a lot, hopefully… -grin-

Cobra Strife—Heh, actually I've never seen the movie. I guess I'd only watch it to see Sean Connery : ) coolest old guy ever… -coughs- And I'd never write about the old Seto… green hair and gold eyes sounds awesome, but it doesn't suit him as much as his brown hair and blue eyes…

FalsE FortunE—You'll be watching this! –ducks for cover- I never wanted to be spied on! –pauses- ok, that was dumb. I'm glad this is weird and interesting for you.

Akiko Saulii—Seto-kun is in it! And he is… he's the most perfectest man ever! And shame on you for not updating From the Heavens! I loved that story! –goes to cry in a corner-

ssp—I have not read that story… maybe I should… though I must admit, the only sci-fi book I really like right now is the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy –grin- I'll check it out sometime. And Mokuba will not be in this story, sadly. I don't see any place for him ;p.

kristen—LEG does rule! Woot!

SladesDaughter—Tsk tsk. You miscounted. There are four OC's! You forgot Tom! Finger of shame! –points- Shaaaaaaaaame! And you seem to the only one who caught the "Earmuffs" comment; that was my favorite part of the whole chapter… and you can see what he looks like now!

demonic angel—Way to be blunt and to the point! I'm not saying if you're right or wrong, though –wink-

Huzzah, Nothing much happens in this chapter, but it's necessary (I hate that word! I've never been able to spell it right the first time, EVER!). So! For those of you who haven't looked at my profile recently, there is a link on there to what Erasmus, Hieronim, and Damian look like! Go and feast upon their hotness! (Erasmus' design was actually based off of a snare drummer I saw at an RMPA competition –sheepish smile--). I must go to bed… I have work tomorrow… gargh.

Chapter 4

Joey was awakened rudely by a speeding car dashing by his apartment, its tires squealing against the pavement. He shot up from his bed, startled, and toppled out in a roll of blankets and clothes.

"Damn," he muttered, rubbing the back of his head and pulling himself into a sitting position. A loud yawn escaped his lips, and he stood up groggily, feeling around for a light. A small clock read 23:34, but he wasn't going back to bed anytime soon. He pulled a dirty sock out of his shirt, tossing it aside as he opened his fridge to grab an energy drink.

Earlier he had simply flopped onto his bed and crawled under whatever was on it, including the daily piles of dirty and clean laundry he so carelessly mixed together. They were versatile, so if his leg was cold and the rest of him was warm, he could wrap a shirt around it.

Setting the drink down on his creaky table, the blonde took out a pack of cards, dealing himself a pyramid. It entertained him for hours on end to simply sit and play game after game in the silence of his housing, no matter what hour of the day. He had to work later on, but not until 14:00.

A knock made him pause a long while and slowly raise his head to peer at his door. He was used to noises throughout the building, but he was sure he had never heard that one, even during the day. Slowly standing up, he merely leaned on the table, staring into the dimly lit hallway.

Whoever it was rapped harder, scaring him. His feet moved silently across the wooden floor, his hands feeling along the wall to stable himself. He groped around, and his hand ran over a book, which he picked up and gripped tightly. His other free hand reached out to the doorknob, hovering inches away.

"Who is it?" he said through the door.

No one answered him, but slight chuckle and another loud knock did. He licked his lips, crouching slightly as he raised the book above his head. Three… two… one! His hand clasped the doorknob and wrenched it open.

"Joey!"

"Whaa-a!" The blonde stumbled back, the book falling noisily out of his hand as Hieronim proudly stepped inside and shut the door behind him, grinning widely.

"Sheesh, what a dump," he said, scanning the apartment in a quick sweep.

"Wha—hang on a sec, what're ya doin' here?" Joey stood up and pointed angrily at the LEG member, trying to steady his breathing.

Hieronim turned to look at him. "I thought you coulda used somethin' fun to get to know us better. Get your shoes on, buddy."

"Ain't it a little late?" he asked, scratching his head.

"Not for the good places we know about," he said slyly.

"Um."

There was a slight pause. "Well? Come on! Ethan and Ty are waiting for us outside in the car."

"Who?"

"Ethan and Ty."

"Erm… all right…" Still slightly confused, Joey slipped his shoes on and walked out, locking his door behind him and sticking the key in his pocket. Down the hallway, a pair of bright headlights were shining through the door, making him squint. The front door was pushed open, and a cheery, familiar voice rang out.

"Joey! Nice to see you! Hop in!"

Erasmus was leaning out of an expensive car, waving to the two who had just left the apartment building. Joey frowned first at the tire streaks on the ground, then at Hieronim.

"You said dat Ethan and Ty were waiting for us; where are dose guys?"

"We're here," Erasmus replied, pointing to Damian in the passenger seat beside him.

"Wha?"

"We'll explain on the way downtown. Wanna drive, Jack?"

"Abso-damn-lutely!" Hieronim replied jovially. Erasmus climbed out of the front and motioned for Joey to get into the back, following him in and sitting down. As the car sped off, Erasmus leaned back on the leather seats and smiled at Joey.

"So."

"Yeah?"

"I'm Ethan," he said, holding out his hand. "That's Ty—" He pointed to Damian. "And that's Jack."

"Yo!" he called from the driver's seat.

"Yous guys have different names? Why?" Joey hardly even knew their odd names, and the second set was boggling his tired mind.

"Simply put, the LEG gives you a new one once you join. The Greeks were well-known for being perfectly sculpted and vain, so that's the basis for them. Plain names are not good enough, apparently," Ethan laughed.

"Dey jus' give 'em to yas? What if ya don' like it?"

"Well, you do get first choice, but if the name doesn't fit who you are, then they make you choose another."

"Ah." He shifted a little in his seat, getting more comfortable. "So, what do da names mean?"

"Erasmus means one worthy of love," Ethan said, ticking off his fingers. "Damian means tame, and he still resents that to this day, which is why he's always so grumpy."

"Watch it," came Ty's voice from in front of him.

"Lighten up!" Ethan ruffled the man's hair; he jerked his head to the side and swatted his hands away. "Anyway… Hieronim doesn't have a connotation, which—"

"It's specifically why I chose it!" Jack interjected loudly, giving a thumbs up more to the windshield than to them.

"They thought he was one of the most random people they had ever met, so they let him have it. Oh, here Jack, park; we can walk."

"Right-o!" The car screeched into a parking spot on the side of the street, throwing Joey into the car door. Rubbing his arm, he opened it up, stepping out a bit shakily with a raised eyebrow. The men were not what he suspected them to be at all; he almost wondered if they were impostors pretending just to mess around with him.

"Don't look like that," Ethan murmured, patting him on the back. He took his arm instead and led him away, Ty and Jack falling into place on either side of them. No one spoke at all, only staring straight in front of them even as countless heads turned.

They held themselves high, their kimonos still billowing out behind them though wind was nowhere to be felt; Joey started to again doubt his sanity as they nobly walked down the street, ignoring the comments that followed them like a swarm of bees. Stumbling slightly, he suddenly felt embarrassed, being escorted by such a high-class lot while he was still in the t-shirt and jeans that he'd fallen asleep in.

They approached the entrance to a fancy night club, a large bouncer standing by himself in front of the door. He stood nearly 6'7, and as Joey looked up at him, he guessed that he'd have to turn sideways at least a little bit to fit his shoulders through the doorway. "Welcome—Erasmus, Hieronim, Damian—" He bent down and lowered his glasses to narrow his eyes at Joey.

"And guest. Thank you, Ronan," Ethan said quietly; Joey felt his grip tighten on him. Ronan sized the blonde up with his eyes, much as Ethan had done earlier, before nodding and opening up the extravagant door for them, letting out a burst of bass-boosted sound.

The group stepped inside, the door throwing wind on them as it snapped shut. A long bar stood to the right, well-built people sitting all along it and conversing amongst themselves. Joey didn't see a single person who couldn't be considered LEG material, but there were only maybe two people that had the signature dark blue kimono. Jack heaved a sigh, running a hand through his hair and slouching his shoulders.

"Damn, I hate walking around in public like I got a stick up my butt. I'll get us some drinks." He went to the bar while Ethan led Joey to a room off to the side, pushing some red velvet curtains out of the way to let them through. Joey got one last glimpse of the pouf-filled main room before the mass of cloth swished over it, muffling most of the sound quite well.

"Alright, Mr. Wheeler," Ethan smiled, stretching his arms and collapsing on the couch. "Before we start, I wanted to apologize if we intimidated you at all earlier today—we have to maintain a certain level of dignity while we're out in public."

"Dis club's not public then?" Joey asked.

"Well, somewhat; technically, only good-looking people are allowed. Honestly," he laughed shaking his head. "Our society is so shallow."

The blonde nodded, interlocking his fingers as a slight pause flew past. "So… before we start what?"

"What's that?"

"You said, before we start. Why did yous guys bring me here, anyways?"

"Ah. That, my friend, is going to be one of the longest, most boring lectures you'll ever experience. That is, of course, unless we have a few drinks in our systems. Then it'll be the funniest experience of your life."

"Let's get this thing goin'!" Jack came in with the drinks and a few shots on a tray, setting it on the table between the squishy couches.

Ethan picked up a shot glass and held it up to Joey. "Drink up, Joey; you're in for a long night. We're going to tell you the rules of our group, and exactly how to act if you want to make a good impression on the judge panel of the LEG on Saturday."