NOROWARETA TSUKI
Chapter 6
Hisoka sighed lightly, cleared his throat and started, knowing that it was now or never. Tsuzuki had every right to know the truth, even if it would be the most painful of all. He needed to explain the reason of the decision he made, because leaving it without a word would crush Tsuzuki's heart.
It would probably do it either way, but there was no other way out. Every solution was bad but he had to pick up one. And he decided what was the best for him.
"Do you remember when I told you I sensed that those girls were sisters? I'm sorry… Because I lied." He began hesitantly. This wasn't the most important fact, but he still couldn't find enough strength to say all of it. He felt he was trembling, falling apart to pieces…
To such little pieces…
"Oh. I-It's okay." Reassured Tsuzuki anxiously „But then how did you know that?"
"I wasn't aware of it, but when we met them together in the candy shop… It wasn't the first time I met them. I knew them… very.. closely… before" he stammered, averting his eyes. He blinked off few tears and managed to continue.
"Closely..?" repeated Tsuzuki, quite lost. Hisoka hoped he would understand, but it seemed that everything should have been explained literally.
"I..I… Well, let's leave this for a moment. The other important case is… that I didn't know all about the curse Muraki had placed upon me. No one could really know, since he improved it a little, for it to be suitable for his.. needs. I thought that the curse's full impact was my pain and then my death, but it's not quite right. I was under its effect all the time; It was eating me up even as a Shinigami. He was around me few times, I think he might have "refreshed" it somehow. Or maybe it wasn't necessary, since this curse surpassed death… "
Tsuzuki clenched his fists, in obvious anger and hatred for the doctor.
It will crush him, thought Hisoka. My God, it will destroy Tsuzuki. Like it ruined me.
"The final point of his spell, was taking control over the marked person. Control over mind, body, free will; making a real doll. He was always saying that I was his favorite marionette. Thus he got what he wanted." Uttered Hisoka, trembling harder. He had to be strong, just for a moment longer.
Tsuzuki's amethyst eyes widened in disbelief. Although this disbelief was already covered with terrifying realization, with pure fear. This couldn't be possible, but it happened nonetheless.
"He took control over me for the first time about two months ago. He fed the curse with my weaknesses, fears, hatred and all unpleasant emotions, and soon he could develop the spell. Then he could play with my mind, make me do anything, do everything…" he stopped, catching his breath. And then all barriers were over, he burst out with tears.
"I did anything he told me to… I think now you understand, Tsuzuki? I did everything, and you know what it involves…" he sobbed "Then he captured Arai and Rika, both under his spell… They were full of deep grief, thus he could easily take control over them. He said only I was so hard to get…"
Tsuzuki hid his face in his face and stayed unmoving.
"He toyed with their minds and mine as well, he gave us various memories, dreams… only to watch us going mad, step by step. And in the nights, he kept on visiting us, telling us to do horrible and defiling things… " he trailed off, as his voice seemed not to want to come out anymore. He only bit his lip and let the silent tears flow freely.
Thousands thoughts were running blindly through Tsuzuki's mind, crushing, denying, longing for it not to be true. But even if his pained heart was almost yelling "It can't be!", he was slowly becoming aware, that it was far too real. More, he let this happen.
How could I be so blind?, he asked himself desperately, feeling hot tears streaming down his cheeks, How could I not save him?
"Don't blame yourself," spoke Hisoka mildly. Tsuzuki understood he was too "loud" with his thoughts, and that his partner probably felt all his anguished emotions and guilt. He again scolded himself, and shook his head.
"How can I not, Hisoka? Perhaps there was something I-" he began, but his partner interrupted him.
"No, there wasn't anything you could do, because it'd happen either way. I came to think I'm just destined to that or something" He said, shrugging, with a bitter half-smile.
"You're wrong! It wasn't meant to happen, for sure, no one is supposed to bear so much pain! It had be a mistake I made, it-" Tsuzuki cried helplessly, but Hisoka again stopped his words
"Then what about you? No one is supposed, huh? You've endured much suffering and you do know very well, how unfair the life is! So don't say everyone is meant to be happy. Because I could hope for that, when I had been with you, but now someone up there reminded me that no matter how hard I tried I couldn't gain what I wanted." The boy burst out, quickly, and some of his words were only half-spoken because his voice didn't seem to stop shaking.
Hisoka wanted badly to at least keep appearances and look strong, to soothe Tsuzuki's pain, but his voice still kept trembling from unbearable suffering and all unshed tears he hadn't got enough strength to cry out.
Besides, some things don't fit in words or tears. They are too great, too important or too horrible to simply be told or cried out.
"What do you think you're doing?" hissed Tatsumi as Muraki simply waited until Hisoka and Tsuzuki would leave, and then entered the room, found a chair and sat down, with a satisfied smirk.
Watari looked pissed off, and Tatsumi did too, he was only too calm and collected by nature to show it so obviously. But now they didn't intend to butcher the doctor right away, since he could provide some useful information about what his twisted, freaky mind plotted and then did to Hisoka. Perhaps if Muraki would tell something, it could help with fixing the situation.
"What have you done to him?" asked Tatsumi, with an audible threat.
"Nothing that he didn't want to," Muraki replied and chuckled slightly, his lips curving into another infamous grin of his.
Tatsumi took a deep breath, desperately trying to calm down, which wasn't a really easy task, especially since all he wanted at the moment was cutting this man's throat or tearing him apart, very slowly so he could feel the pain radiating from every point of his body.
"Bullshit," snarled Watari angrily and glared daggers at the doctor, who seemed rather amused at this action, not irritated at all. "So why does he look like he'd gone through hell? Better tell now everything, do we won't have to force you."
Watari knew that Muraki was there only because Hisoka took him. An average mortal couldn't simply sit and chat in Meifu, but calling Muraki a normal, random human would be a huge misunderstanding. Watari absent-mindedly rubbed his temples and wondered why Bon was accompanied by his tormentor and didn't argue with that.
But again, when Tsuzuki told them about what happened, and how strangely Bon acted, the fact of him being 'walked home' by Muraki wasn't the oddest of all.
"Speak, Muraki. What have you done to Kurosaki-kun?" asked Tatsumi, his eyes narrowing dangerously.
"NoroTsuki, gentlemen. It's just NoroTsuki." The man grinned and added, "Take it as you want." The next thing he did, much to their rather great shock, was disappearing. Right there, in front of them.
"H-How the hell did he do it! It's not possible, at least he can't do it here!" spluttered Watari with wide eyes.
"But he did none the less. Now we should just find him quickly, before he'll do something unwanted." Hissed Tatsumi, looking everything but not calm and confident, like always.
"What are we going to do now, Hisoka? I just don't know what to say or do. This is… too much. For you, for me." Said Tsuzuki, still hiding his face away in his hands. "So what are we going to do, then?"
Hisoka's heart clutched painfully, because there was the moment he had to explain his mind. Flickering images of his newly regained memories, of bodies glistening in the twilight, of gasps and then of blood, of his own hands killing Rika, who was merely another victim of Muraki….
He shed the blood of an innocent girl, his mind wasn't only his anymore and he truly turned into a marionette sometimes.
But most of all, he betrayed Tsuzuki and he voluntarily let this man's hands wander through his body, let him take him over and over as much as he pleased.
A sudden wave of self-disgust smashed him again, and it surprisingly helped him with gathering his common-sense and more or less, his fake calm.
"I know the good solution. The very good solution." He said, then repeated it, as if convincing himself that it really was good.
And exactly when he opened his mouth to start speaking, one of the walls of the apartment exploded. Stepping out of the ashes, Muraki adjusted his glasses and bowed his head, obviously ironical in this gesture of respect.
Tsuzuki took only one look at him, and his eyes narrowed to slits, then he stood up, walked past Hisoka and glared right in the doctor's eyes.
"I will kill him." He quietly stated, restraining his voice from shaking badly. He hastily sent at Muraki some uncontrolled, simple blast of power and prepared to summon his shikigamis.
"STOP IT!" suddenly yelled Hisoka.
Tsuzuki turned his head to face his partner, who approached him and grasped his hand briefly as if he couldn't manage to touch him. Hisoka was pale and deadly serious as he took few steps and stood between Tsuzuki and Muraki, right in a half-way from each of them.
"You can't kill him. I'm sorry but I won't let you do it, Tsuzuki." He said in a low voice, and his partner started to wonder if it was really Hisoka. But when he looked deep into those intense emerald eyes, he realized that it was undoubtedly him.
"But I don't understand… I must, I want to kill him for what he did… Why can't I?" he asked helplessly, not getting any reasonable idea.
So Hisoka answered him, more in a whisper than anything else, and it fitted very good. Because it seemed to be the most adequate voice for him now- only a broken whisper.
"You can't kill him, because he promised he'd kill me." He said.
TBC.
Big thanks to Muraki-chan, who really helped me with writing Muraki's lines. I mean, her face was very helpful. You see, when she wants to, she can imitate Muraki's smirk and gaze, and she looks exactly like him. Not that she resembles him much, but her facial expression… and attitude as well as words… It's pretty creepy. It happens mostly when we watch too many YnM episodes at once…
Big thanks, hugs, and kisses to everyone who reviewed.