Chapter 1

Christy stood between the two men, Neil and David, looking down at the beautiful ring. David loved her, he had said so. But she didn't love him, at least not in that way. She loved him as a brother in Christ, as if he were a member of her family, but not romantically. At one time, Christy thought she had loved David, but she had only loved his kisses, his gentle touch upon her face as they stood in the moonlight. She knew that now.

She looked up into his eyes. She saw urgency, loneliness. Yes, there was love, but it was a love like that of a schoolboy. David had a lot of growing up to do. One day, he would make a wonderful husband, but that day had yet to come.

Then Christy looked to Neil. He sat mounted on his horse, Charlie, just a few feet away from her and David. He had that strange, immeasurable expression on his face that always met Christy's eyes for a moment when she was with him. She wondered what it meant, and why he was there. Did he care for her? Despite Christy's denial of feelings for him, Dr. MacNeill meant more to her than she wanted to admit. It were those feelings she had wanted to express, until she found him and Margaret embracing by the river.

Looking back to David, Christy stepped up to him and softly said, "I—I need more time, David."

David sighed. "That is always what you need, Christy, more time. Haven't you had enough? Answer me! Why the hesitation?" he asked ex­asperatingly, stepping away from her.

"David . . . Please . . . I just need time to—to think," Christy said with difficulty.

"Don't do it, Christy!" Neil half-shouted. Christy looked up in surprise. But she was too late; the doctor had already spurred his horse into a hasty retreat. "Neil! Please! Please don't leave! I—" Christy shouted after him. But she could not finish her sentence, for she did not know what to say.

"Let him go," David said smugly. Christy replied with a glare and sprinted off to the mission, leaving David to contemplate.

Christy stormed inside and went up to her room. She laid the ring box on her dresser and threw herself on the bed and began to cry. Part of her was angry with herself for allowing feelings—no, more than feelings—to develop for a married man, and another part of her seemed to be tearing apart from emotional pain and turmoil.

Because Christy had left Fairlight rather hastily during their previous talk, Fairlight had determined Christy was going to do something impetuous. Thus, Fairlight had headed straight to the mission.

Upon arriving there, Fairlight had wandered into the mission parlor, only to hear Christy's loud footsteps falling across the floor as she ran to her room. Fairlight followed.

"Miss Christy? Canna I come in and talk with ye?"

"Yes, come in," Christy said wearily as she sat up. "Fairlight, why are you here?"

"I come to see how you was doing after our talk," Fairlight said as she sat down beside Christy. "What's ailin' you? Did my questions help?" she asked with motherly concern.

"Yes, Fairlight, but none of that matters now. David asked me to marry him, again, but I can't. Oh, this is so terrible. What should I do? I have hurt David terribly with my refusal to his proposal the other time. I don't want to hurt him any more, but I don't love him. . . ." Christy sobbed, her words pouring out along with her tears.

"Now, Miss Christy. As I told to ma John boy, you can't help who ya love, and you love Dr. MacNeill—"

"Oh, Fairlight, I don't know about that," Christy said, hoping to hide her true feelings for Neil from Fairlight.

"Christy, I know it mightnt seem to you that way, but deep in ya, ye do. And he too. I can see it in his eyes."

Suddenly Christy thought about the unfathomable looks Neil always gave her. Were they were looks of love and longing? Or were they looks of pity and compassion, nothing more? Despite Christy's own doubts, she knew the looks were of deep origin inside Neil's heart. When he had told her and Becky the story of the lonely Selkie on that stormy night, he had looked at her like that. When she had come down from his room wearing Margaret's lavender dress, his eye's had burned with feeling. Even when they argued, that look was there.

"I told ye so," Fairlight said, snapping her back to the present.

"Fairlight, how did you—"

"Christy, them eyes of yours are like a pair a blue mirrors to yer soul, that allow anyone to see whats yer a thinkin' bout. I reckon Neil sees hit, too," Fairlight said gently, handing Christy a handkerchief. "It was Neil's cabin that you went to taday after our talk, weren't it," she stated.

Christy sighed, "Yes, Fairlight. I saw him with Margaret! That's why I came back. I ran into David's arms and that's when he asked me to marry him."

"Christy, Neil don't care none for Miss Margaret. He done forgot­ten all 'bout her. He only cares for you."

"But he's a married man, Fairlight! I can't lov—be involved with a married man!"

"I know Miss Christy. But don't you fret bout this. God'll work it out, just you follow yer heart." And with that, Fairlight got up and left the room.

As soon as Fairlight left, Miss Alice entered. Christy stiffened, wondering if Miss Alice would ask her how she felt about Neil now. Christy remembered the other time Miss Alice shunned her; when she had seen Christy and Neil growing close.

"Christy, I heard what happened today. Art thou all right?" she asked as she sat down beside Christy.

"Yes, Miss Alice. But this is so confusing! What should I do? I don't love David like he wants me to, and . . . I . . ." this was hard for Christy to say. She had barely admitted these feelings to herself. "I . . . I have feelings for Neil, and . . . more."

Miss Alice smiled and placed her hand upon Christy's face. "I know, I know. But, thee must realize that Neil is still a married man. Not by love, but by duty. Both your reputations could be at stake. However, God does not see thee at fault for thy feelings for Neil. In fact, God put them there, for a reason. You are not at fault. Thee did not know Neil was married when thee came here."

"I just sincerely hoped that he and Margaret could be happy." At the mention of Margaret, Miss Alice became rigid. "Miss Alice, you have to forgive Margaret. I don't think she has much time left."

"Christy, I don't think I can do that. The night when she came parading into the church, she said she wished that she had not been born unto me. And I granted that wish. She is no longer my daughter. There is no room left in me to forgive her. She has taken all hope for her out of me. There is nothing left."

"Miss Alice, I know Margaret has been incredibly terrible to you, but I went to the Teahouse, and I saw the locket that you gave Margaret when she was younger. I know, I shouldn't have went through her things, but. . . ." she trailed off, waiting for Miss Alice to say something. Miss Alice just sat there pa­tiently, so Christy continued, "You and Neil were in the locket. When Margaret caught me, I asked if she missed you. She said it didn't mat­ter. But she does miss you. I know that. If you can give her one more chance."

"She misses us?" Miss Alice asked quietly, surprised, though suspicious.

"Yes, she does. Please, give her a chance. She is at Neil's right now, because . . . because I told her that . . . that Neil was worth fight­ing for."

"Thee told her to come back?"

"Yes."

"Oh, child, you are truly remarkable," Miss Alice said. "I am leaving on a retreat tomorrow for a couple of days to sort everything in my mind out with God. Christy, I think it would be best if thee went on thine own retreat. Not to the mountains, but to thy home."

"That sounds fine, Miss Alice. Is it possible for David to take over school for me? I shouldn't be gone long." In her mind, Christy was wondering if she could ever return.

"Thy wish shall be granted," Miss Alice said with a shaky smile as she got up.

"Miss Alice, before you go on your own retreat, you should go talk to Margaret."

"Thee should also. I will keep thee in my prayers." Miss Alice was just about to leave when she thought of something else she could tell Christy. "This verse is one of my favorites, may you carry it with you always: 'Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about every­thing; tell God your needs, and don't forget to thank him for his an­swers.' " With that, Miss Alice walked out of the room, leaving Christy with her reflections.

Neil was lost in deep thought while riding away from the school­house, and Christy. What had he expected? That she would im­mediately run to him and declare her love for him? Neil had never even declared his own feelings for her. He didn't even know how she felt. He would never know. He was a married man.

With the thought of Margaret, Neil wished that she would not be there when he returned to his cabin. Immediately, he cursed himself for thinking such a thought. Neil remembered Christy saying that he could not just "wish away Margaret." She was right, but how could he commit his life to someone that he did not even care for?

Not wanting to go back to Margaret, Neil headed toward his own secret place, a place no one else knew about. He had hoped to share it with Christy, but that dream was shattered now.

Back at Neil MacNeill's cabin, Margaret was thinking about how she had almost won "Mac" back. She thought she had sensed a little reconciliation while they were embracing. But now, all that was demolished. He only cared for the schoolteacher.

Margaret knew she was not welcome here, not now, and probably never would be. Her only hope was that "Pollyanna" would up and decide to leave the Cove. Only then would she perhaps have one more chance with Mac.

The next day, Christy packed all of her things and headed to El Pano. She would ride Prince there, and then have Ben Pentland, the mailman, bring him back to Cutter Gap. Just before Christy mounted, Miss Alice rode up on Goldie.

"I see that we are both leaving today, Miss Huddleston. Art thou sure thee would not like some company?"

"I think it's best I go alone. I'll be all right. Are you going up to God's Fist?"

"I am indeed. Christy, before I leave, I wanted to give this to you." She pushed a piece of folded blue paper into Christy's hand. Christy looked up at her with tear-filled eyes and Alice knew it was time for them to part.

"Thank you for everything, Miss Alice." Christy didn't know what else to say, so she squeezed Miss Alice's hand and mounted Prince.

As Christy trotted farther and farther away from the mission, she willed herself not to look back. She knew that if she did, she would see Miss Alice's compassionate gaze drilling into her. Christy knew Miss Alice could see right through her; she knew Christy was leaving, for good. One lone tear fell down Christy's cheek. She wiped it away and patted Prince's neck. Pulling him up, she opened the note Miss Alice had given her and read:

Dearest Christy,

I know thou hast faced many challenges, and I don't blame or judge thee for going home. Please, if you decide to stay, remember us always. I love thee as my own daughter. Always hold on to joy.

Miss Alice

"Oh, Prince, what am I going to do? I can't face this place again. I have already hurt everyone around me." Christy was so concen­trated on her own thoughts that she did not hear another horse approaching from behind.

"Why, Miss Huddleston, I did not know you found such interest in talking to a horse."

Christy did not need to look back to know who was behind her. She would recognize, and remember, that Scottish brogue anywhere. It was Neil. It surprised her, for knowing Neil, after what had happened, he would be avoiding her, not confronting her.

"Of course, Neil. Didn't you know Prince understands every word that is said to him?" Christy said in a choked voice. She could not turn to face him.

Sensing Christy's discomfort, he asked, "Where are you headed to on this fine day?"

"I—ah—I'm going on a bit of a retreat." Christy said uncom­fortably. Neil said nothing. "Why Neil MacNeill, you have never been one to be at a loss for words," she said, finally bringing her horse even with his and forcing herself to look at him.

"I was just thinking about Margaret, Miss Huddleston. Don't ever think that I'm at a loss for words," he said teasingly, but tensely.

Christy felt a wave of disappointment wash over her at the mention of him thinking of Margaret. She rebuked herself for such feelings. After all, Neil and Margaret were married. "Neil, is something wrong?"

"I don't know. I have a strange feeling that something is going to happen. It is not a bad feeling, but not a good one either. Have you ever felt that way? It is quite haunting that most of the time, the feelings prove themselves to be true."

"It isn't haunting, Neil."

"Now why is that?" he asked, looking at her with a measured expression.

"Have you ever even considered that it's God who puts those feelings in you? To try and tell you something?" This time, Dr. MacNeill really was at a loss for words.

"Ah, so I have finally knocked you speechless." Christy said triumphantly. Deciding earlier to visit Margaret before she left, Christy changed the subject and asked, "Do you mind if I pay Margaret a visit?"

"Uh, sure," Neil said, and under his breath, "Maybe you can knock some sense into her."

Soon, they were at the doctor's cabin. While he took his horse to the barn, Christy called out for Margaret. She tethered Prince's reins to the hitching post and proceeded to climb the flight of steps.

Christy knocked on the door, and Margaret answered. Shocked by Margaret's appearance, Christy had to stifle a gasp. Margaret was wearing the same lavender dress Christy had bor­rowed the day she'd fallen in the river.

Though Margaret had looked quite well at the Teahouse, her tuberculosis plagued her more than anyone thought. The walk to Neil's cabin had placed too much stress upon her frail body, and she had fallen sick.

Christy stood at the door, staring at Margaret. The dress hung loosely upon her, and her beautiful hair was matted and had lost its shine. Christy had envied Margaret's beauty since the first day they met, and despite Christy's anger, she felt sorry for Margaret.

"Well, if it isn't Miss Pollyanna," Margaret said mockingly, jolting Christy out of her stare.

"Margaret, I have to come to talk with you, before I leave the Cove. May I come in?"

"You're leaving the Cove?" Margaret asked hopefully.

"Yes. I now see I can't remain here anymore."

"I see. Well, come in."

As Christy entered, she saw that Neil's cabin had been made immaculate. "Your cabin looks very nice, Mrs. MacNeill."

"Miss Huddleston, would you please not call me that. You are more Mrs. MacNeill than I am," Margaret muttered as she sat down at the table and roughly pushed out a chair for Christy.

Flustered, Christy did not know how to answer Margaret's accusation. For a few minutes, they sat in silence, until the gracious side of Margaret asked,

"Would you like something to drink?"

"Yes, I would. Thank you." Margaret nodded and went about preparing a mild juice from the deliciously sweet late berries that were falling all over the Cove. When they were both seated and sipping the juice, Christy broke the silence by saying,

"Margaret, I have come to offer my apologies and forgiveness to you. I am sorry that we could not have been friends. I am also sorry for butting into your possessions at the Teahouse. It was wrong of me." Margaret was obviously knocked off guard by Christy's words, and said nothing, so Christy continued, "I also came here to tell you that I forgive you. I forgive you for the sorrow that you caused your mother, and Dr. MacNeill. I not only forgive you for these things, I thank you for un­knowingly revealing things to me that I had not seen until you came back. I hope you can reconcile with Miss Alice and Dr. MacNeill."

Margaret sat utterly stunned. Christy's words somewhat an­gered her and befuddled her. Before Margaret could give a nasty re­mark, Christy said,

"Thank you so much for the juice. It was lovely. I shall be going now." With that, Christy patted Margaret's hand and left the cabin for Prince. With a deep breath, she mounted him, took one last look at Neil's cabin and then spurred him away. For the second time, she was riding away because of Margaret. In a blur of tears, Christy did not hear hoof beats behind her.

"Christy! Wait!" Neil shouted. This only made Christy urge Prince on faster. I will have to become more aware of hoof beats behind me, she thought. Finally, when she reached the point where she should turn for El Pano, she slowed Prince, who was glad for a rest from his breakneck pace. Christy was not surprised Neil was still behind her. "Christy, please."

"Neil, I just had to talk to Margaret. Please, I want to get on to my retreat."

"Christy, I—" He wanted to know what she had wanted when she came to his cabin the day before, and why she had quickly ridden off at the sight of Margaret.

Neil knew he faced the chance of getting hurt by asking this, but he was hurt so much already, what was a little more pain? On the other hand, he could be healed. Actually, he only dreamed of getting healed. At this moment, Neil knew any possibility of that was improbable, for Christy would never go against what she believed.

"Neil! Please!" Christy cried out, not trying to stop the tears coming down her face.

Neil stared at Christy, a bit taken aback by her outbreak. He wouldn't have been surprised if Margaret had said something terrible to her Not wanting to fight, he asked, "How long will you be gone?"

"I—I'm not sure, Doctor. I must be going now. Good-bye."

Neil didn't want to have to bear the hurt of knowing that she had accepted the Reverend's proposal, but he knew beyond a doubt that she was making a mistake. "Christy, don't marry someone you don't love! It won't work! If you do, you will be forever haunted. Don't do it, don't!" he said. "Take it from someone who knows."

Christy said nothing. She could not look at him. He would see straight through her. Sighing, Neil said, "Good-bye." Christy turned Prince towards El Pano, but before she could urge him into a gallop, Neil shouted, "Christy! Wait!" Wondering (and hoping) at Neil's words, she quickly wheeled Prince back around to face him. What could he possibly have to say now? She wondered. "Christy, I just wanted to say that I am sorry, sorry for all that's happened."

"So am I Neil, so am I."

At the train station in El Pano, Christy went to the ticket win­dow, not sure if she could do what had to be done. "One-way ticket to Asheville, please."

"Yes, ma'am, here you go."

"Thank you."

Christy's train would not arrive until the next morning, so she went to the general store. Compared to Asheville's stores, The El Pano General Store was quite drab. But, oh! There was so much that the mountain people could use!

Though she had very little money left after buying her ticket, Christy couldn't resist wandering over to the books and picking a few out.

As she thumbed through the books, she came upon a poetry book. I bet Rob Allen would love this! she thought. Christy picked it up and kept looking. Suddenly, she wondered why she had gotten the book if she was not going back to Cutter Gap. Must be a reflex, she thought, but I'll get it anyway. The next book she came upon was called "The Old Flame." She decided to get that one for her journey.

After purchasing her items, Christy went to Mrs. Tatum's house to see if she could stay the night. It was late after­noon.

When Christy knocked on the door, Mrs. Tatum opened it imme­diately.

"Christy, dear child! How good it is to see you! How is every­thing going?" Seeing Christy's weary look, Mrs. Tatum asked, "Dear child. Whatever is wrong?"

Though Christy knew she would be bombarded by endless ques­tions, she asked if she could stay the night.

"Of course. Where are you going?"

With a choked voice, Christy blurted out, "I am going home. I would stay if I could, but I can't! I will never be able to go back!" Christy poured out her whole story to the older lady, and for once, Mrs. Tatum didn't get a word in edgewise. As the sun set, Mrs. Tatum sent her up to her room to freshen up.

As Christy splashed water on her face, she recalled Mrs. Tatum's last words, "If Cutter Gap is your one and only home, you will find a way back there. If you are really, truly bound there, God will guide you there, no matter what happens. As for your two men, if one of them is to be your soul-mate, then you will also find a way back to him, no matter what. I believe that two special people are bonded to­gether unknowingly at birth, and nothing will ever come in their way." That was sure something to think about.

After dinner, Christy retreated to her room and fell into a dream­less, fitful sleep. Arising early the next morning to Mrs. Tatum's puttering around the kitchen, she gathered her things and prepared to leave.

"Good morning. Are you ready to leave?"

"I hope so. Mrs. Tatum, I thank you so much for helping me. To listen to my poor excuses for problems is probably quite an annoy­ance to you. Thank you for putting up with me. I shall come visit you as much as I can."

"Dear Christy, it is my pleasure to be able to help you. I truly thought you would never survive in Cutter Gap, but now I see that it has had to survive you. Here is some breakfast. Have a good train ride."

"Thank you so much. By the way, where is your husband? I guess I just now noticed that he was gone."

"Oh, he went on some hunting trip. Men!" The two women smiled and shared a long embrace and then Christy left for her train.

As she boarded on the train, she felt terribly lonely. Christy opened her book and began to read. Before she knew it, she had drifted off into dreamland. . . .

"Neil, where are we going?"

"Just wait and see," he said, turning around to give her a blinding smile.

Christy's beautiful lavender-lace sprigged wedding dress flowed out behind her as she hugged Neil's waist. He urged Charlie on at full speed until they reached a beautiful spot with bright green grass and a wonderful smell. There was a light mist and a large waterfall. Neil lifted her off and they strolled hand in hand towards the waterfall. As quick as a deer, Neil jumped through it, pulling Christy with him. She laughed with delight as she came out with her hair plastered to her face. Neil gently kissed her and led her through the cave that was behind the waterfall. Christy looked around to see the walls sparkling with pyrite and quartz. It was incredibly beautiful. Down the cave even further, there was a light. It appeared to be blue. When they reached the light, they came upon a large circular room with a large hole in the middle, in both the ceiling and the ground. The hole in the ground was filled with sparkling water and the hole in the middle of the ceiling, from which light was emitted, revealed that the room was covered with a kind of blue quartz.

"Sapphire," Neil said, "just like your eyes." Then. . . .

Christy awoke with a start as her book hit the floor. "Neil," she cried out, still not fully out of her dream. Christy was shocked when she saw who was sitting across from her, and immediately blushed. . . .