NOROWARETA TSUKI

Chapter 8

Hisoka was looking out the window and trying not to watch Muraki's last preparations. It was like some surreal resemblance of Watari making his potions in the lab.

The doctor told him, that it wasn't so hard to erase someone from other people's memories, of course if one knew some tricks and special ways to do it. He seemed to be awfully familiar with such things.

Details about potions, reversing, erasing were swirling and mixing inside Hisoka's head and he just wanted to block them off once for all, and then to fall asleep, because he was feeling so horribly tired..

Words spoken back then in Touda's flames struck him hard and he franticly tried to make them vanish, he didn't need to recall them right at the moment, the promise he had made..

The promise he was about to run away from…

Yes, it was definitely a runaway, but he couldn't cope with keeping it, he really wasn't able to. Besides, Tsuzuki's wouldn't remember that vow.

His partner would find someone else to protect and support him, he wouldn't be alone.

But, he wouldn't have a single recollection of the fact that he had again believed he was a human, with a right to find happiness. That there was someone who cared so much that he couldn't find words to express it.

How can I say that I care, if I'm leaving him now?

But each part of his body, every piece of his skin felt and were defiled, dirty and utterly soiled.. he couldn't be the person Tsuzuki needed, he deserved something more.

I don't want it to be out of pity. I don't want him to stay only because he pities me.

But on the other hand, the amethyst-eyed man told him he wanted to stay with him, of all people, wasn't there any meaning to it?

But I was just a random person who forced him not to give up, a last anchor. Anyone would have been good.

Anyone would have been good.

Liar, How many times I sensed how much he cared, how he wanted to stay with me forever, exactly with me because I was myself and he was himself and together..

..it was good.

Was it friendship?

Was it some kind of a family bond?

Was it love?

How could he wrap in words that tie, red like flowing blood and like love, the stifling emotion filling him when they were apart and all of the small things that assured it was something great?

But I can't find the power to fight it off.. fears, pain and degradation are too strong and overwhelming.. I'd love to stay with him.. but I can't hang on anymore. I can't live on with what I've done.

"Boy, do you hear me?" the doctor asked with irritation "Come here."

Hisoka gave him a hateful look but nodded.

That was the very bottom. He was doing what Muraki told him to, he was literally on his mercy.

"And what about others? What will you do with Konoe-san, Yuma, Saya, Terazuma..? They remember me as well." He pointed out, partly because he wanted to delay the

whole thing.

"Don't worry, I'll take care of it. Now help me, Tsuzuki-san has to drink that potion first."

Hisoka glared at the bottle and made no move as I he was suddenly paralyzed.

That flood of memories flew over his mind again, tons of image of him and Tsuzuki, their smiles, their tears, all of that was to be erased, completely washed off.

"Hurry up, they'll wake up soon. That spell is not boundless, they tried to block it too strongly and thus its effect has been weakened a little."

Hisoka felt tears trailing down his face, but he didn't care. There was no need for him to be strong, for whose sake?

"Boy, stop that and hurry up or else I'll pour that into his mouth personally, which version do you like better? I think you want to dramatize a bit more, so do it yourself."

The doctor grabbed his arm violently, dragging him to the bed Tsuzuki was lying on.

Hisoka took the bottle, opened I and leaned down, gently raising his partner's head and exactly as he said: "Goodbye"

…Tsuzuki opened his eyes and looked at him quizzically.

"What are you doing, Hisoka?"

…drop….

The way you look at me.

The way you say my name.

Damn you!

I can't do it, idiot.

As Hisoka raised the bottle to crush it against the floor, Muraki stopped him and held his wrist painfully, then he tore out the potion from the boy's hand.

"I should have known it," he stated simply, in a coldly mocking voice "Damn brat."

A sudden realization flashed through Tsuzuki's mind and he stood up yelling "NO!", but Muraki was faster. He violently crushed the fragile bottle against Hisoka's face and the boy screamed horribly. He covered his face with his hands and kept on screaming and making stifling noises.

Tsuzuki only once looked at his partner, and then he turned all his attention to Muraki, with wild fury radiating from his eyes, and he was shaking from anger he could no more control. Meanwhile, the doctor was only smirking.

"Now I'm so gonna wipe that smirk of yours off." He hissed.

Hisoka's sight was terribly blurred and vague, so he didn't see the sight before him, and his head hurt a lot, he was feeling dizzy and strangely weak.

Really.. dizzy…

Tsuzuki sighed but smile to Wakaba who was heading towards the bed he was partly sitting on, holding Hisoka's hand.

"How is he?" she asked anxiously.

"He's only passed out. And maybe the fire hurt him somewhere a little bit. But every wound will heal themselves, his face is already cured." He said with an echo of guilt in his voice. "But it's really nothing compared to what might have been. And the bastard is gone for good."

The boy's eyelids fluttered slightly and soon he was blinking in surprise, acknowledging the presence of the two people before him.

"Er.. Hello?" he offered, sounding more than a bit perplexed, looking down at his hand which was held tightly by the brunette. "Where am I?"

"Well, you were kind of hurt during the last accident with Muraki.." said Tsuzuki uneasily, but Hisoka interrupted him with an expression of 'What do you mean?':

"With who? Maybe instead of telling me about some strange stuff you'd explain me why my head aches like a bitch, I feel like vomiting my lungs out and everything around swirls like mad, including you.. er.. mister..?"

Wakaba gasped and Tsuzuki stared at him in horror.

"You had to drink some of it.. when it splashed into your face, you were screaming and some of the liquid had to flow into your throat.. that's why you sounded like you're stifling.. but.. oh my God." Tsuzuki cut abruptly, as another thing occurred to him.

Hisoka was looking at him with perplexed expression, but he obviously was in pain, he looked like he was about to have an attack of some kind or something alike.

".. but it was meant to erase YOUR existence.. and yet you drank it personally.. I mean.. is it going to erase you from your own mind..?" Tsuzuki ended weakly with tremendous eyes, and his heart fluttered painfully.

TBC.

Sorry for the cliffhanger! And please review, it makes me sooo happy:)