Updated: Wednesday 16th March 2005
Disclaimer: Where else? Chapter one of course:P
Chapter Fifty: ConversationsStorming into her Uncle's quarters in less than a good mood, Estella found it empty. Guessing he was either in his office writing his latest complaint to Dumbledore about how lenient the school was on Harry's rule breaking or down in the Slytherin dungeons giving his Housemaster's address, she curled up on her favourite chair and savoured the peace and quiet as she waited.
"Severus! Are you back from the feast yet? SEVERUS!" A voice called out from the fireplace.
Estella's eyes flew open in surprise as she saw the silhouette of her Godfather's face in the fireplace. "Uncle Remus?" She asked.
"Estella? I didn't expect to find you down here!" Remus said jovially. "This is even better than hearing it from your Uncle! How'd it go, cub?"
Smiling her first real smile since breakfast, Estella sat on the floor in front of the hearth and gloated. "Well, for starters you owe me a record collection…"
Remus nodded dismissively, waiting for her to say the word. When she let the sentence hang, he urged her on. "Well?"
"You never told me my Mother was a Ravenclaw." Estella said accusingly, a slight lilt in her voice.
After a few moments of thought, a look of pride flew over Remus' face. "That's fantastic news, Estella! Congratulations." He said warmly. "What did your Uncle have to say?"
A dark look crossed over Estella's face. "I haven't seen him yet. He wasn't at the sorting." She said, frowning.
"Oh, Cub…" Remus said softly, a look of concern on his face. "I am sure there's a valid explanation."
"Yeah, he was too busy trying to get Harry Potter expelled again, that's what!" She snapped, on the verge of tears. "I wish he would just get over himself."
"Do you want me to come over?" Remus offered.
"No." Estella said after some thought. "I won't be able to make it through this if I just expect to be able to Floo you every time I want to. The other first years manage."
Remus looked at her thoughtfully. "So anyway, how was the train trip? Make any new friends?" He asked, changing the subject.
"I sat with Draco Malfoy almost the entire way." Estella said. "He was my own personal shadow."
Narrowing his eyes, Remus sighed. "I know your Uncle has to maintain certain appearances, but I really don't like…"
"Dray's not that bad." She said, unconvinced. "As long as he doesn't find out that I don't give a toss one way or the other about blood lines and all that stuff he's actually pretty decent."
"Dray?" Remus asked warningly. "I hope you aren't taking it upon yourself to make friends with the boy. The more you see of him the more chances he will find out where your loyalties lie."
"I couldn't exactly find an excuse to avoid him on the train once he'd found me!" Estella said defensively. "Besides, if I was up for playing happy families, I wouldn't have asked the Sorting Hat to not put me in Slytherin!"
"What did you say?" A voice said softly from behind her. A beat. "Lupin, get out of my fireplace."
With that, Severus Snape waved his wand and closed the grate – cutting off the Floo connection whether Remus wanted to or not. Estella, meanwhile, turned around to see the hard look on her Uncle's face. If she didn't know any better, she'd say he almost looked hurt.
"Well hello to you too!" Estella said sarcastically, getting to her feet. "How was your Summer? Nice to see you after all this time."
"Estella!" Severus said shakily, grasping her gently but firmly on the shoulders. "What is the matter with you?"
"Do you know what time it is?" Estella asked flippantly. "Because evidently you have been too busy to look at a clock lately."
Severus took a step back and ran a hand through his hair. "I apologise for missing the sorting. Things were out of my control." He sighed.
"Oh of course they were!" Estella said, making for the door. "Like you couldn't just wait till the first day of classes to torture Harry you had to get some shots in early."
"I take it you encountered Messieurs Potter and Weasley in the hall." Severus said wearily. "So you must undoubtedly understand that a matter such as that could not go unaddressed."
"I'm sure if you really wanted to be at the sorting you could have put it off!" Estella muttered, reaching for the door handle as tears burned in her eyes. "I just came to see you and tell you what house I got into since I haven't seen you all Summer, but obviously I was under the misconception that you actually cared. So I'll be going now."
Severus muttered a few curses under his breath and waved his wand at the door forcefully, slamming it shut before Estella had so much as got it half way open. "Come. Back. Here. Now." He said in a firm tone that even in her present state of mind, Estella knew far better than to argue with.
Moving so that he was standing directly in front of the obstinate child, he raised her chin gently with his hand so he could meet her eyes. "Contrary to what my actions may impress, do not doubt that I have readily anticipated your return." He said softly. "You need only ask Mr Potter to hear how thoroughly displeased I was at being kept from the ceremony."
Her lower lip trembling uncontrollably, the unshed tears that flooded her eyes began to fall in earnest as Estella leant forward to rest her forehead on her Uncle's chest. Relaxing in her presence, Severus stroked her hair soothingly and sighed. Seeing her this way never got any easier. It didn't help his conscience that he didn't really have to have gone to the Headmaster's office to write the letters to Weasley and Potter's relatives straight away. The Headmaster was inclined to wait until the next day so that he could go enjoy the custard tart at the Feast; but having figured he'd missed the sorting anyway he did not think it ill at the time to miss the Feast entirely before heading directly to his House's Common Room to conduct the opening address and orientation for the first years.
"I see your Godfather didn't see fit to do anything with your hair while you were in London." He said dryly, with his own unique brand of humour.
The child leaning on his chest sniffed loudly. "I see you weren't inspired by any of the new Summer fashions." She replied just as sardonically, slipping back into their familiar banter with ease.
Sensing the emotional outburst had hurdled its peak, Severus rubbed Estella's shoulders briskly and handed her a handkerchief.
"I do hope this mood isn't a indicator of how you spent your Summer." He said conversationally. "It would be entirely redundant for us both to have been so miserable."
Estella rolled her eyes. "I missed you too, Uncle Sev." She said, giving him a little squeeze. "But I won't deny that I had an absolutely wicked time anyway."
Severus nodded. "Care to join me for a hot chocolate?" He asked, gesturing towards their usual seats. After seeing Estella's hesitation he added as a reassurance. "I assure you that your head of house will not mind?"
Estella smirked. "I'm sure they won't." She agreed, taking her seat and ignoring his obvious nudge for information.
After ordering their hot chocolate and a light supper (more for Severus since he had missed dinner), the pair exchanged casual conversation about each other's holiday. Finally, Severus could take it no more.
"Alright. Tell me." He said, putting down his mug and staring at her intently. "Did the hat listen to you when you said you didn't want to go to Slytherin?"
Estella looked curiously at her Uncle, not missing the look of insecurity and question that lingered in his eyes. "I did ask the hat to not put me in Slytherin." She admitted, then to ally his fears she added. "But it wasn't because of you, Uncle Sev. I just didn't think I could handle having to sit next to Draco at every meal."
Severus couldn't help himself, he laughed with relief.
"I wouldn't laugh if I were you." Estella said forlornly, lowering her head in what looked to be shame, but was really her attempt to keep a smile off her face. "The Hat… well… it… kinda listened to me."
The older wizard looked at her uneasily.
Estella looked up fleetingly and sighed. "I really didn't think the Hat would put me in Gryffindor!" She exclaimed, burying her face in her hands to hide her mirth – but not before her mind forever captured the stunned look on her Uncle's face.
"You… you were sorted into Gryffindor?" The man asked, in shock.
Estella looked at him dumbly after giving herself a few moments to absorb his shock. "I said I didn't think the Hat would put me in Gryffindor." She said, her different tone presenting the statement in a whole different context. "I never said it did."
Severus growled. He had been duped big time. Forgoing his immediate desire to scream in relief, he settled for looking at her expectantly.
"Ravenclaw, Uncle Sev." She said affirmatively. "Like I'd ever be considered Hufflepuff material!."
"Congratulations. Your Mother's house." He said wistfully.
"The Hat told me as such." Estella said. "Wait, you're not mad I didn't get into Slytherin?"
Severus looked directly at his niece, a unmistakable depth in his eyes. "You are your own person, Estella Black." He said. "You will do well wherever you go."
Scoffing indignantly, Estella rolled her eyes. "Yeah, like you'd be saying that if I had been sorted into Gryffindor."
"My sentiments would have remained the same." He said. "However, had you been sorted into Gryffindor it would have posed a few problems, as I am sure you can understand."
"Right, Slytherin housemaster and all that." She said, placing significant emphasis on the last word.
"I am pleased you understand my… our… position." Severus intoned. "To be quite honest, I had just as many reservations about your possible admittance into Slytherin. In fact I would have insisted you reside here had you been so sorted. You are much too young to have to take on a fulltime role of espionage. I am pleased you got into Ravenclaw. They are neutral in the house rivalries and you will be free to maintain some semblance of normal liaisons with your fellow students without the omnipresence of Draco Malfoy observing your every move."
Estella yawned and nodded, relieved that she and her Uncle were on the same page.
Severus smirked. "Now who is losing track of time, hmmm?" He mocked. "It's ten minutes to curfew."
"Ten minutes?" Estella shrieked. "I haven't even unpacked!"
"Come, I will Floo you to your Housemaster's office." He said, pulling her to her feet as he stood. "I will account for your absence during the first year's orientation. You hardly needed the tour anyway."
Estella nodded and leant sleepily into her Uncle as he directed her into the floo. When she eventually got up to her room she fell into bed fully clothed and was asleep before her feet even left the floor. Her last thought before she slipped into the land of nod was that in 12 short hours she would be starting her very first day of classes at Hogwarts.
A short explanation and polite declination to join the vertically challenged Ravenclaw Housemaster for a 'spot of tea' later, Severus returned to his quarters. Sighing at the signs of his recent company, he was filled with a sudden sense of emptiness. A pair of mugs sat on the coffee table. Crumbs on the arm of his niece's armchair from when she'd neglected to eat her biscuit over its saucer. The soft, thick throw lying rumpled and creased over the back of the chair from where it bunched up in her presence and the remnants of a Muggle 'admittance' wristband that had torn from her wrist as she sat fiddling with it while she recounted its origins.
Sitting in the chair experimentally, he could even feel the slightest hint of her lingering body warmth wrap around him like a sleepy goodnight hug. They had been apart the longest they had been apart since she first came to him, and now he had just had her back for a few precious moments he was beginning to fully appreciate just how much he had truly missed her.
"Oh Estella," he mumbled into the dark, empty room, the embers on the fire were burning awfully low. "If only you knew what you do to me."
Taking a deep breath, Severus Snape resealed the gates to his heart and vanished the dirty crockery with a wave of his wand. Passing Estella's cold and barren room on the way to his private rooms, a part of him couldn't help but wish he could just insist that the child reside down here during the term. He didn't even know what the dorms in Ravenclaw House looked like, and it unnerved him that he didn't even know exactly where to go to fetch the child should some disaster befall the school.
'Stop it Severus, you're being ridiculous!' He accosted himself. 'Every parent must go through this the first night their child is away from school! Just because I reside within the School it would be wrong to treat the child differently and deprive her of part of the school experience!'
By the time he had finished arguing with himself and his head finally hit the pillow, Severus was too tired to even realise he had referred to himself as Estella's parent.
End Chapter: Conversations