Chapter Seven

She had known for several weeks now. Something inside of her wanted to keep things a secret from Jin. Maybe it wouldn't hurt so much as it had the last time, losing the baby, if he didn't know that she was pregnant again.

But there was also a part of her that wanted to tell him. She wanted to celebrate with him. There was something inside of her that was proud of what they had done together; something that needed for him to know.

Xiaoyu had decided that she was going to tell him when he got home from work that night. She had it all planned out; he would get home and she would have dinner ready, just like every other night. They'd lie down on the couch together and talk. That's when she would tell him.

'I'll just tell him the truth, right from the start,' she thought. 'I won't try to hide it anymore.'

The truth was that she couldn't try to hide it anymore. Xiaoyu was beginning to feel very sick in the mornings, as though she had spent the night on a boat, rocking and swaying to the waves. It was all that she could do to wait until Jin had gone to work before she got sick, alone in the bathroom.

She slept a lot during the day so that she wouldn't be so tired when Jin got home. It seemed like all she ever was anymore was tired. Xiaoyu didn't want to worry him; she didn't really even want him to know.

She walked around the house all that day deep in thought. A million and one scenes played over and over in her mind. She hoped that he would be happy, but what if he was upset that she hadn't told him sooner or what if he didn't want a baby anymore? She sighed, trying not to let this worry her.

But she couldn't help it. Jin was everything to her; she didn't want to do anything that would upset him or make him mad. She lay down on the couch and cried herself to sleep.

She had been sleeping for too long. Jin was home and he found his wife sleeping, peacefully, on the couch. There wasn't any sign of dinner and it didn't look as though she would be waking up any time soon.

He smiled down at her. She was so beautiful; her long brown hair fell over her shoulders and a few strands had fallen across her face. Her smooth cheeks seemed almost to be blushing; as though she knew that he was watching her.

Jin walked into the kitchen and put his briefcase down on the table. He took off his suit jacket and hung it over the back of a chair. Jin looked through all of the cupboards to find something to make for them to eat.

He was disappointed by what he found. 'I haven't cooked in a long time,' he thought. 'Ok, maybe I haven't ever cooked.'

He picked up the phonebook and opened it to the yellow pages. He scanned the selections. 'Hmm,' he thought. 'I wonder what Xiaoyu feels like.' Finally deciding on Chinese food, he got the phone and ordered.

It would be twenty minutes before the food would come. 'What should I do?' he sighed. 'Xiaoyu's asleep and I don't want to wake her up.'

He went upstairs and changed into some more comfortable clothes. He tossed all of his dirty clothes into a hamper beside the bathroom door and hung the tie back in his closet. Slowly, he left their room and headed back downstairs.

Quietly, he sat down in a chair next to the couch and turned the television on softly. He flipped through the channels and rolled his eyes when he couldn't find anything he wanted to watch. Jin leaned his head back against the chair and looked at the ceiling.

'I wonder if Xiaoyu is this bored at home all day,' he thought. 'I haven't even been here for twenty minutes and I'm going crazy."

He heard her stir in her sleep and looked towards her. She was stretching her arms and she covered her mouth with one hand while she yawned. It was clear that she hadn't seen him yet.

Jin smiled over at her. He stood up and walked over to the couch to sit next to her. "Hey, sweetie," he whispered. "Have a nice nap?"

"Jin!" she exclaimed. "You're home early!"

He looked at her questioningly. "No," he smiled. "You've been asleep since I've been home."

Xiaoyu sighed and buried her head in her hands. Jin put his arm around her and moved her to look up at him. She smiled weakly.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"I forgot to start dinner," she started. "I'm really sorry. I should go and make it now, I guess."

She started to move to leave the couch for the kitchen but Jin grabbed her wrist. "Nah, you don't have to," he began. "I ordered out."

Xiaoyu sighed and sat down next to him again. "Thank you," she whispered. "I didn't feel like cooking tonight."

He pulled her close and kissed her. It felt good to be holding her in his arms again. It was clear that she wasn't fully awake yet.

Gently, Xiaoyu pushed Jin down on the couch and laid on top of him. She smiled as he began to kiss her neck and run his fingers through her hair. All of her worries from earlier that day had seemingly vanished.

Jin sat up on the couch and pulled her close to him. His hands rested on her waist and traced a path towards her stomach. Quickly, Xiaoyu grabbed his hands and moved away.

Her sudden movement had startled him. "What's wrong?" he asked. "Did I hurt you?"

She realized what she had done and blushed. "No," she whispered. She couldn't look at him. "I've got something to tell you."

Xiaoyu looked at him; he was moving closer to where she was sitting. Something in his eyes seemed to already know what she was going to tell him. He put an arm around her and kissed her forehead while she began to speak.

"Jin, I'm- I mean w-we're," and she stopped. She tried not to cry; begged herself not to cry. But no matter how hard she tried she couldn't stop the tears from falling down her cheeks.

"Oh," Jin said. "Come here! Shh!"

He pulled her closer to him and snuggled into her soft hair. They rocked together back and forth until her tears seemed to have subsided. Jin wiped the remaining tears from her eyes and smiled down at her.

"What's wrong?" he asked softly.

"I don't know how to say it," her voice cracked and Jin had to wipe a few more tears away.

Jin seemed to be a little worried now. He looked down at her with love in his eyes; it calmed Xiaoyu's nerves.

"Oh Jin," she hardly spoke his name. "We're gonna have a baby."

She started crying harder then. It was sobbing, not like before; Jin held her hand and tried to wipe the tears away. She tried to turn away from him.

"Oh, sweetie," Jin began. "What are you crying for? This is a good thing."

"Really?" she sniffed. "Do you mean that?"

"Of course!" he held her closer. "I mean it with all of my heart."

And he really did.