Save Me
If Riley hadn't come home, I probably would have ended up loosing my virginity to Nathan that night, but she did and I didn't, thank god! My clothes were almost off completely when I heard her yell up the stairs to Nathan and it made the two of us fall onto the floor abruptly. If it weren't so goddamn embarrassing, it probably would have been hilarious.
But it was embarrassing and it wasn't hilarious.
I scrambled around the room, trying to find the various clothes that he had tossed onto the floor and if I hadn't been so panicked I probably would have gotten them quicker. He however, didn't seem too flustered; he just lay back on the bed, with his hands behind his head and watched as I scurried around the room completely topless. "F uck." I cursed under my breath as I scrambled to find my bra. Finally giving up; I just put on my T Shirt, braless.
"I'll keep it as a souvenir." He winked and I just rolled my eyes at him as I began to walk out the door.
Riley had just reached the top of the stairs, breathless, when she saw me. I tried to act casual but I was failing miserably. "Hey." She said hesitantly. "What are you doing here?" And then she hit the top of her head with her palm. "Oh sh!t, I totally forgot that we were hanging out tonight. My bad babe." In her guilt, she didn't realize that my boobs were sagging down in my T-Shirt or that my hair was messed up or even that I was breathing heavily.
I sighed in relief.
"Where's Nathan?" She asked nonchalantly. "I thought he was gonna be home tonight."
"I…I haven't seen him." I lied. I was such a bad liar but she was way too preoccupied on something else so she didn't notice. I hated lying to Riley, but I feared she would be disappointed in me and that was the last thing I wanted.
She nodded. "So, what do you want to do tonight? Up for watching 'Risky Business'?"
I laughed. "Again? Sure. Why not?" I was beginning to calm down and acting like myself when I heard the door open behind me and his familiar footsteps come towards us. By now, he was fully dressed but his hair was disheveled in that 'Nathan' way and I tried to regain my composure at the sight of him.
"Hey Nathan." Riley smiled and I gave her a confused look. Only a few days ago had she hated his guts. Apparently they learned to get a long in the last three days, and based on the fact that she had told her that I sing, I guessed maybe they had been talking about me. As my relationship with Nathan got confusing as hell, she seemed to being getting along with him quite nicely. "You want to watch 'Risky Business' with us?"
I gulped and turned around to face him. He looked back at me with a devious seductive grin. "If it's okay with Haley."
I rolled my eyes as Riley spoke. "Why wouldn't it be okay with Haley? Come on losers…let's go make some popcorn and get this party started." She woo-hooed down the stairs and Nathan and I walked side by side behind her. He looked at me and flashed a knowing grin…he knew how damn uncomfortable I was and he seemed to get some kind of sick amusement out of it.
If his face weren't so pretty, I'd smack him.
This coming from the girl who moments ago nearly slept with him.
Riley popped in the movie and the three of us sat on the couch, me in the middle, of course. As soon as the opening credits started, Riley mentioned something about getting popcorn and began to get up but I pulled at her sleeve. "But you're going to miss the beginning." I told her. The truth was, I was afraid that if she left me with Nathan I would give into temptation.
We all know how that would turn out.
She eyed me curiously. "I've seen this like a thousand times, Hales. Besides…I'm starving." Without waiting for another protest, she leaped out of my hold and made her way into kitchen, leaving me alone with Nathan.
Oh joy.
He looked like he was watching the movie intently, but I wasn't, I was shifting in my seat nervously. "Are you going to be a senior next year?" I asked, realizing for the first time that I didn't know anything about this boy that I had almost slept with, I didn't even know his age for Gods sake.
He turned to me suddenly and laughed. "Yeah. Why so curious?"
I shrugged. "Just figured I should know at least something about you, I mean…we did almost…" I trailed off, looking back anxiously at the kitchen.
He raised his eyebrow. "We almost what?" He played dumb.
"You know…" I couldn't bring myself to say it. And it didn't help that he didn't say anything, he just watched me, waiting for me to say it. His eyebrow was still raised and I could see the smirk tugging at his lips as he pretended to look dumbfounded. "You know…we almost…" my voice lowered to a whisper "…had sex."
"That was you?"
"I don't even know why I tried." I snapped, folding my arms across my chest and pretending to find sudden interest in the TV Screen. I wasn't even laughing at my favorite parts I was so upset.
He laughed beside me and put his hand on my leg. "I'm just kidding…" he said and I immediately tensed at his touch, holding my breath and biting my lip until he removed it "…so what do you want to know about me then?"
I let the breath of air out and leaned back against the couch. "I don't know…forget I asked."
He stretched his arm out and I felt it brush against my back as it rested on the back of the couch. "Well, you know one thing about me…"
"What's that?"
"That I'm dead sexy," he said and I couldn't tell if he was serious or not so I didn't say anything, I just waited until I heard him laugh. "Wow…no sense of humor, I see."
I rolled my eyes. "You know what…forget I mentioned it." I was starting to feel like an idiot and his annoying banter wasn't helping at all. I just sat there and stared at the screen, waiting for Riley to return with popcorn to throw at him.
After a moment of silence, he finally spoke. "I'm afraid of clowns." He told me suddenly.
I turned to face him and our eyes locked. "What?" I asked, laughing lightly.
"You wanted to know something about me…I'm telling you…I'm afraid of clowns." He was so serious that it almost confused me. Here he was, not being mean, not trying to seduce me, but instead…being honest.
"That's all your afraid of? Clowns?" I said, trying to contain my laugher.
"That's it." He shrugged. "Clowns."
"Clowns?"
"Are you going to keep repeating it?"
"There's absolutely nothing else that you're afraid of?" I asked, amused.
Again, he shrugged. "I'm not afraid of anything but…clowns." The way he said it made me want to laugh out loud hysterically. It was a side that I hadn't thought he had.
For a little longer, he didn't say anything. He just watched the movie and I watched him out of the corner of my eye, trying not to be obvious. "What are you afraid of?" He asked casually.
I turned back to face the screen, thinking hard. Before I could open my mouth to speak, Riley walked in from the kitchen and sat down on my right side. "Who wants popcorn?" She asked and I accepted willingly, keeping my mouth shut for the rest of the movie, though every once and a while sneaking glances at Nathan.
What had caused him to open up so suddenly?When the credits came on, Nathan stood up and left, without even saying goodnight or even saying anything for that matter. Riley didn't seem to mind, but I did…secretly of course. Riley and I just sat there on the couch for a moment, neither of us speaking…we both had completely different things on our mind and neither wanted to tell the other. After a weird silence, she mumbled something about getting some sleep and the two of us got up simultaneously, walking to her bedroom. She closed the door behind us and after we dressed in our sleeping clothes, she tucked herself under the covers next to me.
"What do you think makes girls like guys like Nathan?" She asked suddenly, after I was sure she was asleep. "I mean…he's an asshole, clearly. I guess I sort of have to like him, since he's family and all but all these girls that swoon over him when we go out…I just don't get it."
I paused. "Maybe it's just something that happens…and they can't help it."
She laughed. "Even after he makes it clear that he's the biggest jackass…ever? It doesn't make sense, Hales."
"Love doesn't make sense, I guess." I said, tucking the sheet around me tighter and turning so that my back was facing her. This conversation was not a conversation that I wanted to have…especially with Riley.
"Love?" She spat out with a laugh. "You think anyone could love Nathan? What a joke. I mean…love in a family way, maybe…but that kind being because you have no choice but for it to be unconditional. Love, by choice? Please."
"Or crushes…whatever. You know what I mean."
"Yea, I guess." She said. "I mean, he's a good guy…don't get me wrong. I've gotten to know him a little in the past couple of days and he's nice to me but I see the way he treats these random skanks he brings home and I can't help but think, why do they put themselves through this? You know?"
I paused for a minute, thinking maybe this was all some trick. Maybe she knew about my relationship, or whatever, with Nathan. Maybe she was just trying to get me to admit it all and trying to knock some sense it to me. Or maybe, it was merely a coincidence.
Who the fcuk knows?
I wanted to ask her why she had mentioned to him that I sing…I wanted to ask her why the hell they were talking about me in the first place, but I found it in my best interest to simply keep my mouth shut if I didn't want secrets to be revealed.
"Haley?" She asked, but I didn't say a word. I just sat there motionless for a moment until she thought that I was asleep. "Goodnight."
After the conversation we had the night before about how anyone could like Nathan, it came as a surprise to me that she invited him to come see a movie with us. She had been acting strange all morning after some random mysterious phone call she had gotten at ten AM and anytime I had asked her anything, she had been so in her own little world that she had ignored it completely.
I thought it better just not to ask.
Nathan seemed a little surprised too. He furrowed his brow at the question and then shrugged, saying something along the lines of him having nothing better to do. I rolled my eyes; Riley didn't even seem to notice because she said, "Great! Let's go…" in that perky voice of hers that I have always thought sounded rather fake.
Something was definitely up but I decided against prying.
Nathan took the passenger seat and I took the back, leaning my head against the window and staring at the passing houses at an angle. A majority of the ride was silent, Riley made a comment every now and then but I just simply said yes or no and whatever it was dropped in a matter of seconds.
When we got out of the car and headed into the theater, Nathan walked behind the two of us, his hands in his jean pockets. I snuck a look every now and then and found that our eyes met quickly before I looked back ahead. The tension between us was so obvious but like I said before, Riley just had other things on her mind.
She was totally oblivious.
I, however, was not oblivious to the obscene amount of seductive looks many of the women in the theater were giving Nathan. He didn't seem oblivious either because his smirk grew wider by the minute and when he noticed that I was taking notice, he raised his eyebrow tauntingly.
He loved to torture me.
"Haley?" A voice called from behind me and I turned to find a shaggy brown headed boy with green eyes that I used to know quite well. "Is that you?"
I smiled awkwardly. "Reed…hey. How are you?"
He shrugged. "I've been okay; you know…I decided not to go back to boarding school in the fall, so…" he paused and gave me a sort of sad smile, "I was going to call you…"
"That's okay," I said, giving him another weak smile. "I'm sure you've been busy."
He shoved his hands in his pockets and looked down at the floor. "This doesn't have to be awkward, you know…" When he looked up, our eyes met and I couldn't seem to look away, no matter how hard I was trying to. "I missed you, Haley…I did."
I sighed. "Yea, well…look, I should probably go. I guess I'll, see you around…"
He nodded. "Yea…around."
I turned to find that Riley was at the ticket counter and Nathan was in the corner with some girl who didn't look a day older than fifteen. Oh, please. She can't even get into R rated movies for Gods sake! She did, however, have huge boobs.
And now we know why Nathan is talking to her…
But he actually didn't look very interested if you ask me. When I spotted him, it seemed he had spotted me first. I turned away and stood next to Riley. She handed me my ticket and then gave me a quizzical glance. "Was that…?" she started.
"Yea…" I sighed "…Reed's back."
Reed was my boyfriend for all of the summer before junior year and then three months into it. Come January he told me he was leaving for boarding school but we were so in love, we thought we could make it work nonetheless. For three or four weeks, we talked every night on the phone. The fifth week, he stopped returning my calls. Then, a couple days later, he called to leave a message on my machine.
There was someone else.
I cried forever…seriously, I was sure that I would never get over it. But I did, or at least…I thought I did, that is until I saw him again. He looked so cute and so sorry. And he missed me!
"What happened to boarding school?" Riley asked.
I shrugged. "Your guess is as good as mine."
"So who was the preppy bastard?" Nathan asked, suddenly coming up from behind me.
"That's surely none of your business." I snapped.
"An ex boyfriend…" Riley said.
"Hey!" I exclaimed, smacking her on the shoulder.
She laughed. "I'm going to go get candy!" She announced, ducking out of my hold and making her way over to the concession stand.
"An ex boyfriend, huh?" Nathan said as we started to walk towards our movie. "Yea, I guess I could see it…he's a jock, right? And you're a cheerleader? Oh! The perfect match," he sing songed. "Was it love at first sight?"
"Don't you have an eighth grader to seduce or something?" I said, rolling my eyes.
"Oh but this is much more exciting." He mocks. "So why did you guys break up?"
"None of your business," I said through gritted teeth.
"Sore subject? Sorry." He said insincerely. "Is this the guy who you supposedly lost your virginity too?" The truth was, Reed and I had discussed it many times. I wasn't ready, and he respected that but when January came, before he told me he had to leave, I almost gave in.
Of course, now I am relieved we didn't.
"Will you stop it?" I hissed, pivoting around so that we were face to face. "Can you for once in your life not be a complete jackass?"
He raised his eyebrow. "If I'm such a jackass then why the hell do you want me so badly? Huh?"
"I don't know." I said, and then realizing my mistake, gasped. "I mean…I don't."
He laughed. "You admitted it. You want me."
"No I don't!" I said, turning around to walk into the theater which, with my luck, was completely empty.
He grabbed me by the arms and backed me up against the wall of the theater, smirking triumphantly. He stared down into my eyes. "Yes you do."
"No I don't." I whispered.
But then I kissed him.
And then came Reed.