Chapter 14: A Promise.
Then. Christmas Eve 1979.
Rose raised her head from the pillow and listened carfully to the sound of steps that climbed up the stairs. The sound was usually comforting and warm but today she almost felt fear facing her husband. Remus Lupin was not an easy man to live with. Despite his calm appearance, the wolf inside often took control over his actions especially when the moon was up in the sky.
She had no doubt in her heart that he loved her dearly, more then anything, as he mentioned over and over again. But he kept struggling with himself, kept blaming himself and she knew it had to stop and soon or he'll drive himself mad with guilt.
And what about her? She wondered as the sound of footsteps came closer. Could she ever forget the words he spoke to her that morning? He was sorry for marring her. How on earth are they going to overcome this one? Feelings of rage surfaced from inside and she tried to control them, failing misrably. He promised! He promised he'll love her forever!
So engrossed in her own anger she failed to hear the sound of Remus walking inside the bedroom and stopping right infront of her. Her brown eyes were wide and shining with tears, her hair was wild enveloped her face in a way that made her look dangerous and weak at the same time. She was angry. He saw it and senssed it clearly. And it was his fault. Slowly, he touched her cheek lightly, bringing her eyes to focus on him.
She flinched and bolted away from him, running into the shower and slamming the door after her.
He stood, rooted to the spot, shocked from her reaction and probably would have kept standing if she wouldn't have screamed. A howl of anger that suddenly sounded like the wolf inside of him and then he heard the sound of the mirror shattering to pieces. The magical artifact started screaming and wailing and Rose yelled at it to shut up. Then the bathroom door opened and Rose walked towards him, crying and panting.
"I can't do this anymore, Remus." She choked. "What do you want from me?"
Now, standing inches away from her he started having trouble with swallowing and he cleared his throat, trying to think of response. "I don't know." He managed and the relief that spreaded around his body confirmed that he was saying the truth.
"Why did you run away?" she asked, sitting on the bed.
"Can't you see? It's my fault! I'm a werewolf and because I am one you live a life you don't deserve. Because of me you cant have children."
"That's bullshit! You're talking as if I never knew what you are. I knew you are a werewolf from the first day I met you. And I live my life with you just like I always wanted. I don't need to be rich!"
"Rich?" Remus snorted. "We bearly managed to affored a house."
"Didn't you want to have a baby?" she demanded.
"Of course I did!" he exclaimed. "But we obviously can never have one because I'm a bloody wolf!"
Rose shook her head. "You havent seen who signed the letter?" Remus shook his head and Rose continued speaking. "Dolores Umbridge. They're making an example out of us and you give up without fighting!"
Remus stared at her with wide eyes. "Umbridge?" He hissed.
"Why don't you fight, Remus? Why are you willing to give up on your chance to happiness? Tell me."
Remus averted his eyes and tried to fight the burning senssation that attacked his eyes and throat. He sighed and started talking slowly, trying not to choke. "Sometimes I get lost." He whispered helplessly. "I don't know what I am. I try to define between the wolf and myself and lately I discovered that it's getting harder and harder. And I wonder…" He stopped for a moment and noticed he was crying. "My sweet Rose…you are my mate for life. The only one I will ever love and I am bound to you body and soul. If you'll die I will never love another and part of me will die with you. But you…you're human and you're not bound to me in the same way and so I wonder…I wonder how long will it take for you to run away from the life I forced you to live? How long before you'll get sick of my dark moods before and after the full moon? How long it will take me to hurt you in a way you will never forgive me? How long will it take before I'll hurt you? I fear for you, I fear that I'll hurt you physicly. I fear that your love for me will burn you in away I will never be able to fix."
Rose stared at him for a few moments. Watching him struggle for control and failing. She then touched his hand lightly and he looked at her, his grey eyes filled with tears. "You never forced me to anything, Remus. And I am bound to you. I love you, all of you, including the wolf inside. You will never hurt me physicly. I trust you enough to know this."
"I don't trust myself." Came the bitter reply.
"Parhaps it's time you'll stop fighting with yourself. Accept the fact that you are a werewolf and that right now there is nothing that can change it. Accept the fact that I love you the way you are."
"I know." His voice shook. "But sometimes I feel like I'm loosing control."
"Then loose it." She whispered. "I'll be here to catch you if you fall."
Remus smiled weakly and wiped the tears from his face. "What do we do now?" he asked.
"I need to know that you'll stay and fight with me. I need to know that you love me enough to stay. I want this baby and I'll fight for it…I need to know that you won't run away from me and decide to leave me and marry me with Sirius…" Remus almost smiled but stopped when he saw that she wasn't laughing. "I wont let you hurt me the way you hurt me today. You have to promise me that you will stay."
Remus looked at her face that was filled with tears and slowly entwined his hand with hers. He wiped her tears and kissed her gently. "I'm sorry for what I did." He whispered. "I was an idiot. I couldn't leave you even if wanted to." Slowly, he pulled her towards him and kissed her gently. "I'll fight with you." He murmured to her lips. "I'll fight till the end, I promise."
Today.
"Oh, honey, are you sure you want to do this?" Molly Weasley asked in her motherly voice.
They were standing infront of the house that once belonged to Hermione's parents. The front door was broken but other then that the house looked un harmed. There was no evidence of the dark mark that floated above the small house a week ago.
Hermione sniffed and sighed. "Yes Mrs. Weasley. I feel like I need to do this for my own sake. I can't keep the house so I might as well go through the stuff they left."
They walked inside the small cottage. Hermione and Harry walked in first, followed with Professor Lupin and the Weasley's including Ron and Ginny behind them. The house was brightly lit and it clashed horribly with the mood of the wizards that walked inside. Hermione went upstairs towards her room, followed by Mrs. Weasley. Remus gazed around the living room. He noticed the signs of curses that hit the walls around and sighed sadly. They didn't tell Hermione that her parents were turtured before they died. They also never told her that her parents died from the Cruciatus curse and not the killing curse.
The werewolf frowned. Why would Voldemort turture them so much?
Moving around the living room he bumped into one of the couches and nearly fell when the couch moved a few inchs towrds him, revealing a small door in the floor. Remus eyed the wooden door with shock and then looked up to see Harry and Ron staring at him.
"How did you do this?" Ron asked.
"I don't know. I bumped into it."
"It can't be. I stayed here over the summer for a few days and that couch is too heavy to be moved. Hermione said it's attached to the floor." Ron said.
"Maybe we should call her." Mr. Weasley suggested and Harry sprinted upstairs.
A moment later Hermione ran down the stairs and stopped right next to the wooden door. "What is that?" she asked and Remus noted a hint of fear in her voice.
"You should open that." Harry said.
"You think I should?"
"Everyone, back away. Hermione, open the door and I'll be right next to you with my wand." Remus said.
Hermione hesitated for a minute and then nodded her head and slowly pulled the handle. The small door opened with a loud cracking noise to reveal a small hole in the floo. Hermione pulled the first thing she could reach. At first it looked like a blanket but when she fully pulled the fabric up she realized it had a shape.
"Is that a cloak?" Remus asked, touching the navy blue fabric.
"Yours Mione?" Ron asked.
"It can't be mine." Hermione whispered fearfully.
"Then who--" Ron stopped talking when Hermione turned the cloak and they could see the symbol it carried. Remus's eyes grew wide and Hermione's eyes watered.
It was a Hogwarts cloak, carring the silvery symbol of Slytherin house.
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