Wow. I am so incredibly sorry for the wait. Thank you to all who replied and thank you to those who are going to stick with me on this one. It's not a matter of having the chapters written because I already do. It's just me being busy and lazy and well, I wish I had some elaborate excuse but I don't. Anyway, excuse the typos. Sadly, I haven't read over to check and see if it's readable. But I felt so terrible so I just posted nonetheless. Anyway, have fun reading. Be sure to drop a note.

Z

Chapter Five

Insomnia

Waking up the morning after a fight is always depressing. There's that good few seconds after you open your eyes in which the world, and the people in it, don't seem so bad but then slowly your mind averts back to the happenings of the night before and you grown involuntarily.

It's the worst kind of hangover.

When I woke up the next morning, Nathan wasn't lying next to me; instead he was sitting at the chair near his desk, striking some chords on the guitar softly. When I cleared my throat to indicate that I had woken up, he looked over to me and if I didn't know any better, I'd say that he smiled genuinely. But it quickly vanished in a matter of seconds and he looked back down to the guitar.

I watched him for a second discreetly, looking so peaceful. That's when it hit me. "Oh shit," I cursed "…Riley." I jumped out of his bed and scrambled to the door when his soft voice stopped me.

"She left early this morning. I told her that I took you home last night." He told me and I stared at him with disbelief.

"Why'd you do that?" I asked curiously, turning to come closer to him.

He shrugged, still not looking up to meet my glance but instead staring down at the guitar. "I don't know. I just figured you probably didn't want her to know that you slept in my bed last night. Was I wrong?"

There was almost a tad bit of disappointment in his voice as he said this but it disappeared as quickly as it came. "Thanks." I whispered.

He still didn't look up. "It's not like I've never lied before, Haley." He told me casually, with a hint of annoyance in his voice. I wasn't sure what I had done, but by then I had realized that was just the way that he was.

I moved over to the chair where he was sitting and fell to my knees so that I was more at his level, though I only reached the middle of his chest, if even. He looked down at me, puzzled. "No…I mean thanks for letting me stay with you last night. I didn't really have anywhere to go."

He averted his eyes. "Whatever." He muttered.

After a moment of watching him, trying to figure out why he was being so cold and distant, I gave up and rose to my feet using his knee for balance.

"What time is it?" I asked.

"A little after noon."

"Do you think you could give me a ride home?" I asked hesitantly. He was my only way of getting home if I didn't want to walk…and I didn't.

He nodded carelessly and rose to his feet, leading me to the door. I followed him out to the driveway and he cocked his head to an old BMW, telling me to get in. "That's you're car?" I asked.

He shook his head. "I stole it." I stepped back quickly, like the door handle had burnt me but he simply laughed. "I'm just kidding…calm down. I drove it hear from Charleston."

"That's where you used to live?" I asked, sitting shotgun in the car as he gripped the steering wheel and pealed out of the Scott driveway. "In Charleston?"

He didn't speak for a second and I could feel him tense up in the seat next to me. "Yea…" he said softly "…that's where I used to live…" he repeated longingly.

Trying to break the tension, I told him my address and he knew where to go without me telling him.

Feeling the need to say something, though I probably shouldn't have said anything at all, I began to talk mindlessly. "Is it true you got kicked out of your school?" I asked suddenly, not thinking clearly. I probably sounded like an idiot as I asked him this, either that or I sounded slightly scared. But at this point it didn't matter.

I just wanted to know.

He laughed as he could tell it bothered me a little. "Yep."

"Why?" I asked curiously, watching him as he drove down the street with an intense gaze at the road in front of him.

"Killed the principal." He said nonchalantly and like a gullible idiot, I gasped.

He laughed again. "God, you really do take everything seriously now don't you?"

I rolled my eyes. "Really, why'd you get kicked out?"

"Why are you so curious?" He challenged, turning to face me and raising his eyebrow mockingly.

"No reason." I sighed, looking down to my hands on my lap and trying to think of something less personal to start a conversation with…but honestly, 'how about this weather?' just sounds pathetic.

For a good five minutes, neither of us spoke. All I could think about was Riley and how she had been talking to me the night before. It wasn't like Riley at all, Riley never got out of control like that. We had always been able to talk calmly through things before but last night she had just attacked me…I guess I didn't help by adding to it.

Maybe I am a selfish bitch.

I guess she was speaking the truth in some ways. I mean, I didn't even like Jesse but that's not what it was about to me. If he cheated on me, what made her think he wasn't going to do the same to her? I'm just doing what I feel will protect her, and it may not seem that way in her eyes but I'm only trying to be a good best friend.

"Did you and Riley get in a fight?" He asked suddenly and I gulped, not really ready to admit it out loud. I had always been one to think that if it weren't said out loud, it wouldn't be true.

"We'll work it out." I said simply, trying more to convince myself than to convince Nathan. "We always do." These words came out shaky, as if this time it was different. I let out a breath of air that I had been holding.

"She seemed pretty upset this morning…" he told me "…and you seemed pretty upset yourself last night. I never would have expected that you would have co-"

I cut him off immediately, knowing what was coming. "Wouldn't you be upset if your best friend in the world called you a selfish bitch after hooking up with your ex boyfriend?"

"Oh the drama…" he sing-songed, clearly more amused than shocked.

"It's not funny." I snapped.

"It's a little funny…" he laughed. There was nothing more that I wanted to do than hit him at that very moment but he pulled into my driveway and put the car in park. "We're here." He announced and then turned to look at me. "Look…I think you're kind of overreacting about all this. I mean, if you guys are best friends then…"

I didn't wait for him to say anymore, I just simply started attacking him. It wasn't meant for him, it was meant for Riley, but he was there…and I couldn't control my emotions. "You know what, you have no idea what you are talking about so don't even start with me, Mr. I'll fuck whoever I want to, when I want to…God, you think you have the right to tell me I'm being dramatic? You don't even know me!" I screamed childishly. "You're so…" I huffed dramatically "…so…infuriating." I concluded.

"Are you done?" He smirked.

I took off my seat belt, about to exit his car when I felt his hand on my shoulder as he turned me to face him, approaching me with his lips abruptly. I hadn't seen it coming…all I knew is that in a matter of seconds, I felt the stick shift in between us dig into my thigh as I moved in closer to him, attacking him with passionate kisses. "Damn it." I cursed, rubbing my thigh.

He didn't seem to care that I was hurting, he just pulled me on top of him and before I knew it we were rolling around in his car, his hand sliding up my shirt and caressing me avidly. "Are your parents home?" He huffed in between kisses.

"Out…" I panted as his hand slid down in between the material of my pants and my skin "…of town." He moved away for only enough time to open the door, pulling me out while I desperately tried to hold myself back, fearing neighbors would see through their windows.

He pushed me up against my front door softly and I tried my best to open the door with my key, though it was somewhat difficult with his hand grabbing my ass tightly. When the door finally opened, I pulled him inside and up the stairs by his collar.

We practically fell through the door of my room. He was on top of me instantly, his hand guiding mine to the zipper of his jeans. I moaned softly, pulling him on top of me as I fell on the bed. My shirt was off in a matter of seconds, my pants half unzipped and his bare chest on top of mine. Things always moved this fast with Nathan; it's what I liked about him. I had always liked having control in my life. But there was something about the way Nathan made me feel out of control that I liked. It was just too exhilarating for me to pass up. I felt him enter me and I winced in pain…after all, it was my first time. I had always imagined my first time with Reed but it was obvious that was long out the window.

This was it…there was nothing stopping us now.

And there wasn't anything I wanted to stop us.

That's when his cell phone went off, making that annoying sound of something vibrating against the floor.

Except that.

At first he ignored it, but after a couple of rings he finally pulled himself off me and fell to the floor, grabbing the phone in his right hand and placing it against his ear as he lay against the foot of my bed. "Hello?" He paused. "Yea…sure…I'll be there." "No…you're not interrupting anything, don't be stupid." He said deadpan. He hung up the phone and began to walk around my room, finding his clothes and putting them back on.

"Booty call?" I snapped rudely.

He rolled his eyes but didn't respond. He just walked around the room, collecting his clothes.

"Is that it? You're just gonna leave?" I scoffed, pulling the sheet around me to cover myself. "God, I shoulda known, huh?"

He rolled his eyes again. "Look…it's not that big of a deal, okay? You weren't expecting this to be anything other than sex, were you?"

I wrinkled my forehead. "You're serious?"

"Listen, I gotta go. I have places to be…" he paused, studying my expression "…I'll show myself out." And with that, he left my room, leaving me confused and bewildered.

That was the last I saw of him that summer.

Riley and I ultimately made up after a long talk of how sorry she was and how she would never let a guy in between us again…we laughed at how wrong that sounded and eventually everything went back to normal…as I knew that it would. I knew she didn't mean what she said, and that she had just been upset and confused so I let it go.

After all, she was my best friend.

The only change in our relationship is that we mostly went to my house now. We did have to deal with my parents and curfew, but it was better than me having to see Nathan and be humiliated again. I just told her that I felt bad we never went to my house and made some excuse of why it would be better to be at my house anyway.

Oddly enough, she bought it and we only went to her house on occasion, after I discreetly made sure that Nathan wasn't going to be there.

We didn't talk about Nathan much, only a few times when she made some comment about how he had a different girl over every other day or that he had already made a bad crowd of friends who were always at her house, eating her food. But otherwise, I steered clear of conversation about him, hoping that Riley would never find out that I slept with him.

She would so not approve.

Even I didn't approve, and I smacked myself mentally every time I thought about it, which believe me was a lot. I tried not to…but I couldn't help it. Something was so off about Nathan, he was bipolar or something. One moment he would be sweet and comforting and the next he would turn into some bro-hoe jackass who only cared about getting into my pants.

And the worst part…is I let him.

What killed me is that I was lying to Riley…we had always promised each other that we would tell the other the moment that we lost our virginity but I hadn't told her.

I was too ashamed.

Senior year started for us quicker than I had imagined, and instead of being excited as hell, I was freaking out completely…knowing that I would have to see Nathan.

He would be driving me to school.

Riley had always been my driver but her mom had taken away her car on account of she crashed it again –this time into a pole- and I didn't have a car to drive…leaving me stuck with him as my carpool driver. My parents were out of town again so it wasn't like they could take me.

When they first pulled up in my driveway and he honked obnoxiously, I felt my stomach drop. I wasn't ready to face him and I wasn't ready to have to start conversation. At this point, I hated him.

Mostly.

I closed the door behind me and walked to the back door of his car, placing my bag across my shoulder and taking in a few deep breaths before entering the world that I had tried so hard to stay away from for the rest of the summer.

"Can you believe it, Hales? We're seniors!" Riley clapped her hands together in excitement. "It's going to be the best year ever."

"Woo-hoo!" I said sarcastically, twirling my finger in the air and spotting Nathan in the rear view mirror watching me.

She looked back to me and pouted. "You're no fun."

I shrugged. "What can I say? I'm just not as excited as you are."

"But I bet you will be excited when I tell you what I got wind of last night." She had that devious smile on her face and I could only imagine what she was going to say next.

"What?" I asked, uninterested as I stared out the window.

"I talked to Carly today. She saw Reed at some party on Mason Ave, and apparently he 'wasn't himself'." She turned around as she began to elaborate. "Girls kept on coming up to him but he claimed something about there being only one girl for him. Hmm, I wonder who that girl could be." She laughed before turning back around.

"Imagine my excitement." I said unenthusiastically as she stared at me with disappointment.

"You used to be in love with that kid. What happened?" She asked and I looked over to the rear view mirror where I could see Nathan's glance focusing on the road in front of him. He hadn't said a word since I entered the car.

"I don't know." I said truthfully. One minute, I had been in love with Reed, crying for days on end waiting for him to come back and claim he couldn't live without me. It had been my dream for too many months to count. But then Nathan came along, and things just got…complicated.

That's when Nathan spoke. "If you ask me, the kid's a dick." He said to no one in particular though I had a feeling it was directed towards me.

"I didn't ask you. And he is not." I defended, raising my voice and glaring at him in the mirror.

"So is." He said crudely. "What kind of guy comes back from boarding school to be with some girl? I mean…especially when he doesn't even know if he has a chance with her. In this case, I'm guessing he doesn't. Am I right?" He focused his eyes on me in the mirror.

I rolled my eyes. "At least he isn't a jackass who sleeps with a different girl every other night." I snapped and Riley looked at both of us uneasily.

"Bitter?" Nathan said cockily, trying to get a rise out of me.

"Oh fuck you." I growled, turning to look out the window once more as we pulled into the parking lot of Tree Hill High.

When we got out of the car, Riley approached me awkwardly. "How come you and Nathan just can't get along? What the hell was that about anyway? " She asked as we watched Nathan make his way over to a couple of fake blondes.

"Nothing." I mumbled. "Let's go find Lucas." Lucas was another friend of mine, someone who I had known as long as I knew Riley, and someone I could trust as well. We had dated for a week in like seventh grade year but kissing him was like kissing my brother so we ended it mutually and were back to being best friends.

Of course, he was up against a locker with two girls swooning over him…two girls I identified to be Brooke Davis and Peyton Sawyer.

"Hey." He smiled as he saw me approaching him. "Long time no see, buddy." He said, making his way past the two girls and over to me to give me a hug. He had been away for most of the summer and had to work long hours the rest, so I hadn't seen him since a couple days after the end of last school year.

I hugged him back and watched Brooke and Peyton pass me by, Brooke giving me a quick wink and Peyton just rolling her eyes at Brooke teasingly. I liked Brooke and Peyton, but they weren't good friends of mine. "I know!" I said, turning my attention back to Lucas. "Thanks for all the phone calls…" I told him sarcastically "…really do appreciate it."

He pouted. "I'm sorry Hales. Please forgive me. If you do, I'll tell you about my summer romance!"

I gawked. "Summer romance? You dirty dawg! Tell me. Tell me." I pleaded, linking arms and waving to Riley as she headed to her first period class.

Lucas laughed. "I knew that would persuade you. Her name is Lila, and she's from Paris." He looked in front of us longingly. "She was beautiful, Hales."

"Even more beautiful than me?" I teased.

"Well…" he laughed "…I guess not as beautiful as you."

"I see I've taught you well." I winked.

"So what about you?" He asked. "Any summer romances that I missed? Come on…you can tell me."

I sighed. "Don't wanna talk about it."

As if on cue, there came Nathan, walking directly in front of me. To my surprise, Lucas called him over. "Hey man." He said and Nathan nodded in acknowledgement. I was pretty sure he knew I was there but he was doing a damn good job at hiding it.

"Nathan, this is Haley…" he told him and it wasn't until now I realized Luke and I were linking arms.

"We've met." He said simply. "I gotta go Luke; I'll catch up with you later."

"Luke?" I whispered, when Nathan was out of earshot. "You know him?"

He raised his eyebrow. "Yea…how do you know him?"

"That's Riley's cousin…Riley Scott…Nathan Scott…how did you not realize that?" I said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Scott is a common last name, I didn't even think twice about it." He shrugged.

"I hate him." I said firmly. The truth…well, I didn't really hate him. Nathan was right…I was just bitter. But who wouldn't be when some guy basically tells you that he's using you to your face?

He laughed. "Why do you hate him? He seems like a cool kid."

Oh…you don't know the half of it buddy.

"Never mind." I muttered but of course, Luke being Luke saw right through it.

"No…tell me. Why do you hate him?" He asked again, catching up to me as I tried to walk past him. "Did something happen?"

"No." I lied. But what was I supposed to say? 'Yea Luke, I fucked him.'

Yea, that would go over real well.

He shook his head. "You're lying…I know you are. You always do that eye twitchy thing when you lie. Tell me what happened between the two of you."

I let out a breath of air. "If you must know…"

"I must."

"I kind of…" I squinted my eyes as I started to tell him, waiting for his reaction "…slept with him."

"You what?" He asked in disbelief. "Haley…that guy sleeps with a new girl every night. You're way too good for him. He's an ass…"

"You said that he was cool."

"That was until I found out you slept with him!" He said, his hand rising to rub his forehead. "Haley…why would you do that?"

"I don't know." I sighed, leaning my head onto his shoulder as we walked. "But let me tell you…I regret it completely."

0

I got to my last class earlier than I usually got to any class and placed my bag on the desk, sitting down with a sigh and waiting for yet another boring class to begin. Senior year was supposed to be a breeze…but it wasn't. I already had a paper due in a couple of days and a project that I was told not to procrastinate on…not to mention the college applications lying on my desk at home beckoning me.

I was so dazed in all of the work I had to complete that I didn't see him walk in, or see him sit behind me. I had successfully avoided him all day, until now. There he was, sitting behind me in class with no one else around since the teacher was late.

"So you and Luke are pretty tight…" his voice came from behind me "…didn't know you had a boyfriend. I bet he'd love to hear about our wild night." He taunted me.

"He's not my boyfriend." I said through clenched teeth, hoping that maybe he would get the picture and shut up so I wouldn't have to talk to him.

"I hope that I'm not the reason that is." He said insincerely and this time I turned around in my chair to face him.

"Nathan…you made your point pretty damn clear…I was just a sex toy for the night. So would you please, just leave me alone for the rest of your existence?" I don't know where I got the audacity to be so rude but what could I say…he deserved it.

"What do you mean for the night? Does that mean you're not willing to give it another go?" He winked, moving in to make his lips inches from mine as he blew a taunting kiss.

"You know what…fuck you." I said, turning back to face the front desk, watching a few girls as they piled into the classroom, gossiping a mile a minute.

He leaned into my left ear and whispered, "You already did that."

"Don't remind me." I muttered under my breath and then turned to face him again. "Look…Mr. I'm afraid of clowns…I thought that there was more to you than your stupid badass persona but I guess I was wrong…you're just like every other guy on this planet."

"You don't even know me." He laughed bitterly.

"Please…you had sex with me and then walked out…I think that says a little bit about what kind of person you are." I growled.

"Oh please…like you didn't want me." He said, leaning back in his chair and resting the back of his head on his palms. "You couldn't keep your hands off me."

"Will you stop being a self righteous jerk for once in your life?"

"Will you stop being so judgmental for once in your life?" He shot back.

"Will you stop mocking me?"

"Will you make out with me?" He asked with a smirk.

Before I could throw a witty comment his way, I was interrupted by a pair of familiar green eyes. "Hey…Haley."

"Reed…" I said, somewhat surprised "…you're in my English class?"

"Lucky me." He smiled, taking the seat to the left of me but not taking his eyes off me for a second. "You look great, Hales…" he commented and I blushed a bit. Just because I was determined to push all my feelings for both boys aside didn't mean that their comments didn't make me blush.

"Please." Nathan rolled his eyes.

I tried my best not to laugh. Nathan, jealous?

How entertaining.