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Chapter 17: Found.
Then. January 1980.
Panting and shuddering at the same time, Remus Lupin held the naked body that belonged to his wife even tighter. A wave of need and possesion overwhelmed him and he closed his eyes tight, after all, she was the only thing he had now and he held her close to him when the tears came down his face again.
His parents died.
They died in the most horrible and surprising way. No one has seen it coming.
Rose caressed his wild hair and held him closer when he started crying. He raised his head and looked at her with pained eyes. She kissed him deeply, tasting the salt of his tears that mingled with hers. And he was moving again, moaning into her lips. He wanted to forget, she understood, forget everything that happened that morning…and she allowed him to get lost inside of her for a while, allowed him to make her forget as well.
She sighed to his lips when he moved faster, pulling her after him to a place where they could be alone and happy. A place where they would be able to forget, a place where they could drown their sorrows and for a few moments, they forgot everything but the love they shared with each other.
Remus kissed her neck slowly and then rolled them over so she was resting her head against his chest. Caressing her hair and back, he sighed softly. "I'm sorry." He whispered, feeling once more the burning senssation in his throat and the lump that was forcing its way out.
"For what?" She raised her head and he registrated her swollen lips and dark eyes. "You needed me, Remus and I'm here for you."
"This is the worst reason in the world for me to make love to you." He said, slowly tracing a line along her smiling lips. She leaned into his touch and her smile turned into a grin as she raised her eyebrows.
"As long as you are making love to me…" She whispered.
Remus grinned and pulled her towards him for a gentle kiss. "What would I do without you?" He wondered softly. "I thought I lost you today and then when we got that sofa of you I…" His voice broke and he took in a shuddering breath. "I thought you were dead…and then I kneeled down next to you and saw that you were breathing…I was so happy…" Rose felt the termor in his voice and felt his body shaking. "I forgot…for a moment there I forgot my parents were behind me…" He chocked for a moment and tried to fight the sobs that racked his body. "Burried alive…" He whispered. "I never said goodbye…I never thought that today would be the last time I'll ever speak to them…" He sat suddenly, unable to contain the sobs anymore and Rose wrapped her arms around him, rocking him slowly. "Why does it hurt so much?" He whispered.
"It will go away, Remus." She whispered in his ear. "Time will eventually make it go away."
"And it will make me forget. I don't want to forget, Rose, I don't want to forget the parents that loved me so much…even after I was bitten…"
"I know, I know…" She kept holding him, until his breathing returned to normal and he relaxed against her, inhaling her scent softly. After a while he untangled himself from her embrace and reached out for his boxers and the remaining of their clothes that were spreaded all over the living room.
"Light a fire, please." She kissed his cheek lightly and headed towards the kitchen wearing her panties and his sweater. He raised his eyebrows at the lovely outfit but she just smiled at him and dissappeared in the kitchen.
He sat down on the sofa wearing his boxers and T-shirt and then reached out for his wand. He watched the dancing flames for a while until he felt her sitting beside him. She handed him a large mug of hot chocolate and curled herself next to him, her head on his lap.
Almost immediately, his hand moved to caress her hair and back and he smiled as he drank the sweet liquid. "Someone told me chocolate has healing powers." She whispered, teasing him. Remus nodded and his hand moved under the sweater to caress her stomach lightly, smiling as he noticed that indeed, it grew a little. Rose frowned for a moment and then stilled his hand, covering it with her own.
"Remus, tell me about your parents." She asked softly.
"You think it might help?" he wondered.
"Yes." He heared the smile in her voice and drank some more chocolate before speaking.
"My mom always told me it was hard to let someone go. I remember her saying this when I boarded the Hogwarts express in my first year. How do you let someone go? How do you understand that that's all right? That everything changes. How do you find a way for that to make you feel better about life, instead of breaking your heart? The hardest thing you'll learn, is how to say good-bye…"
Today.
"Ron!" The hiss sounded more like a shout in the deserted halls.
"Would you two be quiet? Do you wanna wake the entire school?" Harry whispered.
"He is stepping on my foot." Hermione growled and Ron blushed.
"Sorry…" He mumbled.
It was the Christmas holiday and the school was almost deserted. Many students decided to spend the holiday with their families. The romours about an upcoming confrontation with Voldemort appeared almost on a daily basis and many feared what was about to happen.
The trio decided that the holiday break was a wonderfull time to search the library for information about Hermione's family. They were encouraged by the fact that there weren't many professor's around. During meals they only saw Dumbledore, Lupin and Filch. The less authority meant less supervision on their little adventure.
"There it is." Harry whispered and they removed the cloak from their bodies. They stood infront a large shelf with hundreds of parchments and Hermione sighed.
"Better get started." She said and pulled one of the cases that contained dozens of parchments."
"There must be a better way." Ron frowned and looked at one of the cases. "Hey, look, mine all start with the letter 'P'."
"All right." Harry smiled. "We'll just look for your family name."
They searched the archive for hours and came up with nothing. Hermione sat on one of the chairs and sighed, her eyes full with tears. "We're never gonna find anything." She said and Harry sat beside her.
"Don't worry, Mione." He grabbed her hand gently. "We'll work this out. Maybe we can ask professor Dumbledore…" She looked at their joined hands and smiled slightly at the senssation. Their eyes locked together and she stiffled a small sigh that was about to escape her lips at the intensity of his gaze.
"Hmmm…guys…I think I found something…" They were almost startled with Ron's voice and turned to face him. "This folder…contains all kinds of family names." He handed them some of the parchments. "It looks like everyone here lost their parents before they attended Hogwarts or that they were adopted."
"Here's mine." Harry stared at the thin parchment with his personal details that were filled with information. He knew that handwriting, it was very similar to professor Lupin's handwriting. He shook his head and moved to the next parchment. "Hermione…" He whispered. "I think I found yours…"
Hermione looked at the parchment carefully. It had her picture inside and all her personal information. She frowned when she realized not all the details were there. Her date of birth was missing…she scanned the parchment again and found aome muggle paper attached to it. "Oh my god…" she whispered. "These are addoption papers…I'm addopted."
Then. January 1980.
Remus woke up in the late hours of the morning. He streched his body and gazed around the small living room in search for his wife. They talked for hours into the night and he told her stories about his parents. It was funny how he remembered all the happy moments and told her all about them. But he never told her about times when they fought about something.
Rose smiled atold him he should be thankfull to remember his family in a good way and he knew she was talking about her father and their fighting with each other. Rose tried to invite her family to their wedding but they never showed up and so she stopped trying. A few days after the wedding she received a black owl carring a letter with two words: 'Blood Traitor.'
She cried for a long time until Remus made her burn the parchment.
They never spoke of her family again.
He got up from the sofa and headed towards the kitchen to find his wife sitting on one of the worn chairs, frowning at a piece of long parchment.
"What is it?" he asked, sitting beside her.
"A letter from the ministry. The abortion is scheduled for February the 1st. That's two weeks from today." She said all that fast, without any emotion in her voice.
"Damn them!" Remus shouted. "Couldn't they give us some time to mourn?"
She flinched at his voice and Remus calmed himself and reached out for her hand. Rose didn't want to cry but the tears came and she shuddered violently. Remus enveloped her in his arms and held her tightly. "Don't cry, Rose. I'll fight it, I promise. I won't give up on having children with you…"
She raised her head slowly, half smiling and half crying. "I know you wouldn't…it's just that…" and for the first time ever since she got the ministry letter she realized her own feelings. "It's just that…I'm scared, Remus…I'm so scared…"
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Wow…it was a sad one…I wrote it in parts cause I just couldn't stay on it for a long time.
Review!! Please and tell me what you think…
*Remus's words are not mine I borrowed them from Ally Keys from the mini-series 'Taken'…*