Chappie 2: Grubby, Thieving Little Hands
Dark Warlord1992: Hello... --
Evil Tomato: You're in a good mood. ( , )
DarkWarlord: (kicks tomato) Now I am!
Evil Tomato: I hate you so much....
DarkWarlord: Welcome to the second chapter of my first ever story!
Audience: (bored) Yaaay....
DarkWarlord: Sooooooo....anyone like my fic so far? Any comments are welcome as long as they keep away the doubt-bringers...
Doubt-bringers: (think Ringwraiths from LOTR) They detessst your story....you cannot write, why do you posst your work....the readers detessst you to the very coressss of their beingsss...
DarkWarlord: WHY DO YOU TORMENT ME SO!?!?
Doubt-bringers: (pause) That'sss a good quessstion....maybe it isss becausse darkwarlord1992 ownssss NOTHING!! The charactersss all belong to Nintendo....
DarkWarlord: Let's move onto the story already.
Doubt-bringers: And you readerssssss!! Sssitting in your chairss staring at a computer ssscreen! HAVE YOU SSSSLUGSS NO LI-
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Grubby,Theiving Little Hands Chapter2
Kirby glanced at the store as he pulled a sock with holes cut in it over his head. "Are you sure we should do this?"
"Puff jigglypuff jig!" Some pink, ball-like thing with a ski mask on over it's face replied. (I wonder who that is....)
"Kirby, just remember that I masterminded this scheme. It's foolproof. Feel better?" Ness cut in. He was wearing a Batman costume for his disguise.
"No....I feel worse."
"Soooooo...what am I s'posed to do again?"
Ness rolled his eyes. His genius was sooo unappreciated. " You throw the bomb into the store, Jigglypuff pounds the cash-register-person-thing, Kirby sucks up a ton of candy WITHOUT eating it, we run away and we're home-free."
" What about the drool?"
"Jig puff."
" The candy has WRAPPERS, stupid."
Jig puff."
"I'm not stupid! You are!" Young Link yelled back. He ignored Jigglypuff, partly because he didn't know what she said, and furthermore, he didn't care.
"I'm a child prodigy! I'm the leader! You do what I say!"
"No way, Mr. BigHead!!"
"Jig puff jiggly!"
"You're a stinky doodoohead!!" Apparently child prodigies aren't above calling people stinky doodooheads.
"PUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUFFFFF!!!!!!!" Jigglypuff's yell (and her furious fists of....fury) stopped Young Link and Ness in their tracks.
"Ahem...Puuff." Jigglypuff pointed to the store, with a word that sounded remarkably like 'duh.'
"Oh...right."
Young Link, Ness, Jigglypuff, Kirby and the Ice Climbers were standing outside a candystore. Young Link, Ness and the Ice Climbers were too young for jobs, so, what can you do, aside from pretending you're a midget? Kirby and Jigglypuff were puffballs, so that was sort of obvious.
Young Link tossed a bomb into the store. The sales clerk freaked and ran from the store screaming about how the artichokes had finally come to get her. Jigglypuff hesitated before she ran into the store; she was disappointed that the clerk had run away before she could punch her. Kirby dashed in to suck up as much candy as he could. The Ice Climbers (wearing a two-person horse costume) noticed the cash register. Popo tried to open it, but the dang thing wouldn't open.
"Moof!" Nana's voice was muffled by the costume.
"Waf?"
"Moof!"
Waf?"
"Mo-fofet it!" Nana pushed Popo out of the way and smashed the cash register with her hammer.
Ness was waiting outside for them. "Hurry!" he said shrilly.
They ran away as quickly as you can when you are either stuffed to twice your normal size with candy, or you are in a horse costume and have to carry fifty dollars in ones beneath your parka on a hot day. Ness was no help.
"C'MON!"
"You're no help!"
They finally reached the mansion. Everything was strangely quiet there. Well, it wasn't exactly quiet, they heard the tv blaring from the living room, and Crazy Hand was floating through the rooms shouting things like "L'ANANAS!" But there weren't any explosions coming from the bathroom, and Roy wasn't there to shove Link into a closet with Navi, so there weren't any screams echoing through the halls. The plague known as employment had invaded their home, and the Smashers who normally made their lives insane and interesting were victims. Mewtwo silently floated past them, pausing to watch them guiltily try to sneak in unnoticed.
"L'ANANAS!!" Crazy Hand shrieked.
What's he saying? Popo wondered.
" It's French for pineapple." Mewtwo informed him. Popo jumped. He had forgotten that Mewtwo could read minds.
I wish Link was here. Then I could bug him about liking Zelda. It's too quiet with just Mewtwo here. He's boring. Young Link thought.
"I can be entertaining, too." Mewtwo responded huffily.
"Suuure."
"Hmmph!" Mewtwo floated higher and moonwalked across the room. " Can anyone else do that?Or this?" He flipped onto his head and, upside down, floated out of the room. "You might want to check the news soon."
"Huh?" They all scrambled into the living room, where Fox was already reclining on the ridiculously big couch in front of the big screen tv.
"Hey, Fox, you know Master Hand placed a restriction-thing on the amount of tv we can watch." Ness said in an 'I'm-gonna-tell-on-yooooou' voice.
"He's at work." Fox shrugged. "What he doesn't know won't hurt 'im."
"What about Crazy Hand?" They all turned to watch as Crazy Hand floated, twitching, towards the wall, slammed into it, and fell to the ground and rolled around on the floor.
"What about him?" Fox started flipping through the channels.
"..................Nevermind. We wanna see what's on the news."
" Kay. Here's the remote. I'm gonna get somethin' to eat." He left the room.
Jigglypuff turned it to the news channel, a channel specifically devoted to news. A newscaster sat behind a table.
"and that's why you should NEVER work for a modeling agency that wants you to pose as a werewolf." She replastered a Barbie-doll smile on her face. "This just in from our star reporter...uh..." She gave a nervous smile.".....This just in: a candy store was robbed recently. Here we have some video footage." While the video plays, she continued to narrarate. " The suspectes are believed to be Batman, two fat, puffy, pink midgets, and a hammer-wielding horse. Batman has already been apprehended." The news cut to a mug shot of Batman.
"Police are stumped as to the identity of the other suspects. They were going to call in star detective Jimmy Kudo, but his whereabouts are currently unknown..."
Jigglypuff turned off the tv. The smallest Smashers turned to stare at eachother, mouths open.
Elsewhere...
"No!" cried Marth. "I won't do it!It is demeaning and horrible!"
"Chill, Marth. We just pose for a few photos, fangirls go crazy and buy them, and we get rich again!" 'It's so nice to be adored by girls everywhere...'
"They're making me wear canary yellow!! Aren't fashion ads supposed to have fashion sense!?" Marth began to hyperventilate.
"Get a grip on yourself!" the redhead smacked him on the back of the head with the flat of his blade. They walked over to where the guy with the camera was standing.
"Alright, poses!" shoughted the guy.
Marth pulled his face into a sexy pout, and Roy did his fighter's stance.
"Yeah, just like that! You're a tiger! Now you're a rabid werewolf!" shouted the camera guy.
'Roy, I'm going to kill you!' Marth thought as he tried to look like a rabid werewolf.
A Large sign above an electronic store: Game Signing! Link and Princess Zelda signing copies of Legend of Zelda series! Only 5$ per signature!
"This isn't so bad..." Link said."Sure, my ass went numb three hours ago, and my hand hurts, and that snot-nosed little brat keeps trying to take my hat, but it could be worse."
As he finished this statement, a large mob of rabid fangirls rushed into the store, ravenously looking for prey.
"Oh.MY.GAWD! It's LINK!!" One screeched shrilly.They all swarmed around him like killer bees, and dragged him away.
"NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooo" He paused for breath. "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
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Well, that's the end of chapter two. Jeez....it's late, AND it's a school night. I'll try to have chappie three up quickly.