darkwarlord1992: Welcome to my fanfic, you wonderful people-demons-wizards....reviewers.

I regret to inform you that certain circumstances, ie my mom deciding to get the hardwood floors refurbished or whatever the hell it's called, my fanfics aren't going to be updated as quickly.

Evil Tomato: So, stories will take forever to get updated.

darkwarlord1992: I mean, what the heck was she thinking!?! School's started and I'm in highschool, so I get lots and lots of accursed homework, and plus we have to move the furniture around and stir up lotsa dust so I've spent the past two days with next to no oxygen, and HACK GAG COUGH Oh god... I coughed up a lungs....disgusting gurgly noise Lassie, get hack help....

Lassie: .....Rowf?

Evil Tomato: Eeeeew...that looks nasty....We'd better wrap this up to avoid raising the rating....

Diclaimer Voice Thing: darkwarlord1992 owns nothing but reeeeeeeally bad allergies....ewww....did she just sneeze when her lung is on the ground?

(Due to technical problems, there shall be no cool symbol-border-thing)

Car Trouble and Falco got Fired!

"You are-a welcome-a, ma'am-a! Call-a the-a Mario Bros. for all your-a future plumbing-a needs!" Mario quickly ran down to his car, then he stopped. He was currently covered in crap, and soaked to the bone with who-would-even-want-to-know-what. Did he want his beautiful, shiny red sports car covered with the unthinkable that he did not want to think about? No. And if you were sane, you wouldn't want your car covered with-

'NO! Nooo thinking about what you're covered from-a head to-a toe with-a. No. Betta yet-a, don't think-a at all. Especially not about the...' Short story even shorter, he thought it.

Hence the short Italian plumber completely panicking and running around in circles, causing a goopy goop of something to slide from his hat to his forehead. Mario froze. He glanced at his gloved hands. Covered with filth. Then, he glanced at Peach's hanky inside his car, lit by a soft, glowing light that practically screamed, " Wipe that filth on your forehead that is even now sliding towards your eyes away with me!" But, and this is a big BUT, the hanky was inside the car. Inside the spotless, shining, red sports car with the pretty white M on the hood that he had to take good care of until he could afford another one. And who knows how long that would take, what with his current job.

Point is, there's a gob of something nastly sliding towards his eyes and mouth, and the thing to wipe it away with is inside the car that he doesn't want to get that nasty stuff on. Then, a long-delayed stroke of genius struck like Pikachu's thunderbolt. He could remove his glove, open the door, grab Peach's hanky, wipe off the......stuff, and then....do something.

He stared at his gloved hand. He slowly grabbed the glove with his other filthy gloved hand, closed his eyes.....and pulled it off. Breathing a sigh of relief for some weird reason, he opened the car door, grabbed the hanky, and wiped off the stuff. He grinned triumphantly.

Then something wiped the smirk off his face like he had just wiped off that....stuff.

FlaaaaaaashBack Time!!!

"Mario, I'm going to leave my hanky in your car."

"Kay-a."

"You know, the hanky that is a centuries old heirloom?"

"Uh-huh."

"The one my great-great grandma wiped her snot off with?"

"Yeah."

"The one I would be DEVASTATED if I lost."

"Okey-dokey-a."

"Did you even hear what I said?"

"Of course I did, Peach."

"What did I say then?"

End Flashback

"Oh-"

"SHIP!!"

"What?!"

"I wannabe the captain of a ship!!!"

"Listen, you can't be the captain of a ship. At least not now."

"But I waaaaaannna!!" whined Young Link.

"Alright, alright..." It had been one day since Link had been swept up by a pack of rabid fangirls. He was lucky. He was only entirely covered with a cast. Link had been found at the side of a road in Indiana, completely naked with a lot of broken bones, but he was alive.

"I can't help you, sooo..." Cue lightbulb. Link called in a nurse, who giggled nervously when she saw Link. She was definately a fan of his. How do I know this? I can tell from the way she acts around him, the way she always came when he called....oh, and the 'I Heart Link' t-shirt she had on over her uniform. Link whispered something in her ear, and she giggled in that girly-fangirl way. She led Young Link to another room, went into a hall, then down that hall into another room, then through that room into a hall, down the corrider, turned left, and told him to wait in a room. Young Link, eager to get his boat, waited. The nurse-lady gigged and left. Young Link waited. And waited. And waited some more. Then, after enduring an entire two minutes alone in the room, he started to sing.

"Jingle bells, Batman smells, Robin laid an egg, Batmobile, lost a wheel, and Joker does ballet, HEY!" After this, he was bored again, so he walked out of the room into a corrider.

"It's freaky, how the hallways are white and they all look soooo...similar." Young Link wandered down the hallway, then stopped. His senses, sharp from years of solving puzzles, defeating dungeons, and playing pranks on Ganondorf, told him there was something behind him. He whirled around. 'Nothing.' He continued to wander through the halls.

Samus and Captain Falcon slowly stalked their prey. This guy could solve their problems. He had a 60 billion double-dollar bounty on his head. That had to be worth something. Samus slowly charged her blaster. Dead or alive, he was still worth a lot of money, enough to make them richer than they had ever been. She slowly took aim at the man in the red coat. She had to make this count. He had a bounty on his head for a reason. Then Captain Falcon dashed past her.

"Falcon....PUNCH!!!"

"YOU IDIOT!!"

Captain Falcon missed and flew into Samus. The blonde guy they had been stalking shrieked and ran like hell, but not before he snatched the donuts left on the table that was in the middle of a street for some reason.

Captain Falcon grinned apologetically at Samus. He was currently sitting on top of her. The fact that she was wearing her chozo suit didn't matter to Samus. Captain Falcon was now grinning apologetically at her blaster.

"Oh, shut up Falco."

"No."

"Yes."

"No, you owe me fifty bucks.

"Shut up. It's Old Maid, not poker."

"No, you bet me fifty bucks that you could beat me. I won. Pay up."

".......No."

"Twenty-five bucks then."

"Hell no."

Fox and Falco were sitting in a little hut thing just inside the gates of a big mansion owned by a paranoid, but rich, guy. There was nothing to do but wear the police hats and play cards.

"None of this crap fox, gimme my money!"

They started to punch and kick eachother. Falco gave Fox a black eye, and Fox kicked Falco in the gut. And they both headbutted eachother, resulting in them both getting dizzy and stopping for a second before they resumed the fight.

While they were fighting, a dark figure skulked by, unnoticed. He carried a sharp, shiny object. He moved stealthily towards the mansion.

A scream ripped through the air, one that raises the hair on the back of your neck and causes your blood to chill.

"I said I was sorry..."

Fox clutched his tail and sniffed. "You bit my tail." A tear fell down his cheek."You hurt my pwetty fluffy wuffy tail...." Ookaaaaaaaaaaay.............

Remember the paranoid but rich guy I mentioned earlier? Apparently he had a good reason to be paranoid. As of now, he's dead. And Fox and Falco are unemployed.

Somewhere far away...

In some dark shadowy lair that villains like....

"We need to send someone who can infiltrate their mansion, without giving away our goal."

"I have a plan...."

(Once again, no cool border-thing, dangit!)

darkwarlord1992: Soooooo...whaddya think? Love it? Hate it? Somewhere in between? Hey, my lung's inside again!!

Evil Tomato: We stuck it back in when you were distracted.

darkwarlord1992: sniff Waah...wahh..AAACHTOOO!!!! sniff dabbit....I hate allergies...