Chapter 21: The Pensieve.

Today.

The morning was bright but very cold. A freezing wind blew forcefully and she tightened her robe around her slim figure. Sighing, she burried her bare feet in the grass, shaking slightly at the coldness and wetness of the green leaves. Despite the cold, she felt more alert that way, more focused. Like she just woke up from years of sleeping.

She tilted her head to the right. In some way it was exactly like this…she just woke up…straight into a nightmere.

She's been asleep for sixteen years. Not remembering who she is or where she was but slowly…very slowly she came to her senses. She remembered everything. Her friends…her dead friends…she remembered them like it was yesterday. She remained silent when Remus spoke last night, gaping at him with complete shock and then started screaming and sobbing and laughing all at the same time. How could it be?

How could such a thing happen?

By the end of the conversation he was crying too. It was his sadness that broke her. His tears brought finality to his words. They were dead…they left them alone. She felt caged and sick…the thought was horrible and she ran away from the room, ending up by the lake on the ground. It looked so unreal…like she was in some kind of a nightmere.

"Rose." The quiet voice startled her and she turned to look at Remus's grave face. "I've been looking for you." He said, his tone giving in his obvious relief.

"I'm sorry." She whispered. "I just needed air. Nothing makes sense anymore, Remus, I feel so…"

"Lost…"

"Afraid…I remember nothing from what happened that night."

Remus sat beside her on the ground, his worn robes getting soaked from the wet grass. "What is your last memory from our house?" He asked and she closed her eyes for a moement, trying to remember.

"Falling asleep in our bedroom. It was hot and humid and I took a cold shower and went to bed. I remember you joined me for a while. It was noon…maybe sunset…"

Remus shook for a moment. "You remember the day of the fire. I left after sunset, around seven." He closed his eyes.

"I remember waking up in a hospital. I was so scared…" She started shaking and Remus hurried to grasp her hand gently. "I couldn't move…I couldn't speak…I couldn't do anything." She started sobbing again and Remus held her closer, letting her cry on his shoulder even though he felt he was going to break down as well.

Eventually, she calmed down enough to raise her head and look at him. Her brown gaze was hard and alien to him and he closed his eyes for a moment before staring back at her. "You told me our house burnt to the ground." She stated and he nodded. "Who got me out of the fire?" She demanded.

"I don't know." He said. "When we got there, the fire was too high. James and Sirius stopped me from running inside…I think I paunched them both while trying to get away from them…Peter was histerical…" He snarled. "And Lily's water broke…"

She continued to stare at him. "Then…who…"

"I don't know!" He shouted and she backed away from him. "All I know is that someone literally dropped you in St.mungo's about two months afterwards and you looked like you were dead! It took you five years to open your eyes and snap out from the coma and all that time…all that time…" His voice broke and he gaped at her for a moment. "I don't know what happened that night. No one knows." He breathed hard, wiping tears from the corners of his eyes.

"What about the…what about the baby?" She whispered and Remus shook his head slowly and wrapped her in his arms again.

"The healers think you lost the baby. You suffered a severe stomach injury." He said slowly, his mouth curling into a snarl. "Someone kicked you…there…" Rose's body shuddered and Remus held her tightly. "It doesn't matter now. All that matters is that you are better…and safe."

"I never mourned them…" She whispered.

"You will…and then you'll move on, Rose, we have to keep on living." She nodded slowly and he kissed her hair lightly, pulling her firmly into his lap. Leaning against the tree, he held her, letting her cry again, hoping he could give her the comfort she needs.

The sun grew high in the sky and soon students started showing up on the grounds, chatting with each other or sitting together by the lake. Remus and Rose were pretty much hidden from view by the large tree but Remus could still see the students. Rose raised her head from his chest and wiped her tears. "Should we go?" She asked.

"No." Remus shook his head. "We're pretty much hidden over here." He let his gaze wander around for a moment before he spotted Harry and his friends talking to Hagrid. "Hey…do you remember meeting Harry and his friends?"

Rose nodded and Remus pointed towards the direction where the huge man walked, followed by the three six years Gryffindors. Rose smiled a little. "He looks just like James."

"With Lily's eyes." Remus nodded.

"Could you believe it?" Harrys exclaim reached their ears. "Dumbledore wants me to take Occlumency lessons with Snape again…that git will have me killed by the end of the year!"

"Harry!" Hermione scolded him and Ron laughed.

"Mione, it's Snape we're talking about, don't forget!"

"Now…now 'Arry…I'm sure professor Snape means no harm…" Harry snorted and Hagrid stopped right infront of the tree the two adults tried to hide beneath. "Professor Lupin!" Hagrid exclaimed.

Rose and Remus flushed and hurried to get up from the comfortable position on the ground. "Hello, Hagrid…guys." Remus greeted them. The three teenagers and half giant stared at the professor and the petite woman who stood next to him. "Hmmm…I want you to meet…Rose." Remus stammered a little and Harry smiled.

"It's good to meet you." He reached out to shake her hand. "I hope you're feeling better."

"Thank you, Harry." She smiled and shook his hand. Harry gave a wink to Remus right when the bell rang and they ran off to class. Remus chuckled and took Rose's hand, leading her towards the castle. "Come on…I need some food and I'm sure you're just as hungry as I am."

Then. May 1980.

Remus poured some taquila to the largest taquila glass he had and handed it to the only costumer that occupied the bar. She smiled with respond and winked at him. He grinned back and then turned to play some loud music. Please, Merlin, don't let her talk to me again…The women was a young, tall, blond muggle who spent the last week drowning her sorrow with Remus's drinks. She obviously needed…Remus tilted his head while cleaning the counter…well, for the lack of better words…she needed a shag. The problem was, she kept flirting with him, no matter how many times he told her he was married…nothing seemed to convince her that he was unavailable.

It's not that she wasn't pretty…He looked up when he saw the door opening, mildly annoyed with the fact that he'll have to deal with more costumers at nearly three o'clock in the middle of the night. He was about to open his mouth and yell that the pub was closed when he took in their appearance.

"SURPRISE!"

"Hey, Moony, happy birthday!"

Remus nearly dropped the bottle he was holding and gaped with complete shock at his friends, all wearing their best muggle clothes and smiling warmly at him.

"What are you doing here?" He found his voice and immediately reached out to hug his wife.

Sirius laughed and patted his shoulder. "We wanted to surprise you. I also brought some real drinks…"

"There is a costumer here." Remus said quickly, motioning towards the young woman who was now wearing her coat.

"Thanks for the drinks, Joshua." She smiled sweetly. "You know, you could tell me you were married…"

Remus gapped at her for a moment. "I showed you the ring…" He stammered, fully aware of his wife's hazel eyes shooting glares at him.

"You did? Must have being too drunk to realize…I'll see you around. Happy birthday."

They waited exactly a minute before bursting with laughter. James laughed like crazy while pulling out bottles of firewhiskey and butterbeer. "Well, you certainly outdid yourself, Joshua…"

"What was I suppose to do? Throw her out?" Remus exclaimed.

"I told you I don't like this job!" Rose swatted his head. "You and that blond all alone here…"

"Rose…" He whined.

"Joshua!" She smirked back at him and he burst out laughing.

They sat together around one of the tables and chatted for a while. After a while when they realized all the alcohol was gone and Peter and Sirius started singing weird songs, Lily decided to give Remus his present. Being the only one who didn't drink she handed Remus the large package and then immediately took it away from his unstable hands. "Maybe I should hold it…you wouldn't want to break it…"

"Thank god we're pregnant." Rose grinned looking at James who joined his friends singing and Remus who looked like he was going to pass out.

"You and I both know that if we could drink we'd be even worse…" Lily laughed and Rose nodded.

"Hey, guys! Remus is going to open the present!" Rose shouted and the three loud singers stared at her with wide eyes.

"You don't have to shout, we're right here…" Sirius slurred.

"What did you get me?" Remus started tearing the wrap, looking much more alert now. He took out something that looked like a large silver plate and he gasped when he realized what it was. "A pensieve?" He whispered.

"We thought that you above all people have memories you don't want to keep." James said, his voice serious.

"You can put your memories inside, the ones you don't want to remember all the time." Peter told him quietly.

"We also duplicated one of our shared memories and put it inside. It's the memory of the Hogwarts express in our first year." Sirius said and Remus flushed. "Yes, blush all you want, Joshua, but you were a real git not wanting to be friends with us…"

"So we put that memory inside for you to remember that it we don't care what you want, Moony, we'll always be your friends…" James paused for a moment to look at Remus who's eyes were wide and then turned to his wife. "Lily, stop crying…"

They all laughed and Lily glared at James. "It's not my fault! It's your son…"

"Oh…so now it's my son!" James exclaimed, laughing.

"I can't believe you guys didn't check the baby's sex." Sirius said, looking at Remus and Rose.

"I'm not sure the muggles can tell it but we didn't want to anyway. I want to be surprised. Remus says he knows." Rose smiled at her husband.

"You do?" Peter exclaimed. "How?"

"I can smell it." Remus answered. "I can't tell you exactly how I know, I just do…"

"Tell me…" Sirius demanded.

"Nope." Remus grinned and Sirius's eyes pleaded him. "Puppy face won't help you!"

Sirius grinned and immediately turned into a large, black dog and started licking Remus's hand and whining loudly. "I'm not telling you!" Remus shouted and the dog turned to lick Rose's hand. "You drunk dog…"

Much later, Rose made sure her very drunk husband got inside the covers before joining him. His arms moved to hug her and she smiled to his chest. His lips moved to her forehead and he kissed her lightly. "Thank you, I had a great time." He said.

"Did you like the pensieve?"

"Yes." She felt him smiling.

"I don't think you should use it, Remmy." She said quietly.

"Why?" He sounded hurt and she raised her head to look at him.

"It's just that…I think that your memories, the good and the bad, are the ones that made you the man you are today. I think you should always remember the good things but keep in mind the bad ones, either."

Remus nodded slowly. "Maybe…" He mumbled. "I'll think about it later…I love you, Rose…"

Rose smiled at him. He was asleep before he even finished talking. Cuddling her body next to his, she closed her eyes.

"Good night, Remmy, happy birthday."

**************

Well, it was supposed to be out for my birthday two days ago but I just didn't make it on time…I hope you liked it…

Please REVIEW and tell me what you thought of this one!

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A HUGE thank you! To the wonderfull Amib who brought all his reviews as a birthday present for me…Thank You, Mi Amore!