DarkWarLordofDoomness: Hello...(peeks around corner) Um...yeah. I've encountered.... problems. (hides under table) I hired a new army after Steve the Evil Tomato left. Heh...

SquishyandWrathfulJellyfishofWrath: Hello? Where are you, boss? (getting...wrathful) HELLO!

SecondJellyfish: Find her yet?

FirstJellyfish: (curses) We're supposed to do the disclaimer! How can we do the disclaimer if the person who owns NOTHING isn't here!?!

ThirdJellyfish: Hey, there's a bunch of lawyers camped out on the lawn. Wanna help me sting them knowing they can't sue because we are an endangered species?

FirstJellyfsh: Of course! I'm really wrathful right now. I can't find our boss. I'm so wrathful, I'm gonna find her and sting her until she looks like a tomato.

DarkWarLord: (mouths 'HELP!')

Chappie 5: Everyone's Gone Bananas!

Bowser slowly stumbled down the stairs. What time was it? He checked his wrist like they did in cartoons. For two minutes he stared at his wrist, waiting for it to magically tell him the time. It didn't. He looked at the big clock on the other side of the room. 8:29A.M. Bowser stared at it in horror. What was he doing awake, let alone out of bed?! Bowser's first thought was that he should go straight back to bed. But he was almost on the first floor, and his bedroom was on the fourth. If he was to go back to sleep, he would require food and beer.

'To the kitchen!' his sleepy mind declared.

In the kitchen, Mr. Game&Watch was frying sausages. The smell tantalized and taunted Bowser's nose. Unable to resist the aroma, he reached for the biggest, fattest, juiciest sausage.

WHAP!! WHAP!! WHAP!!

Bowser glared at Mr. Game&Watch. Mr. G&W (which is what he shall now be referred to, because I said so!) beeped and waved his spatula threateningly. Bowser, his hand-claws still stinging, backed off. His red eyes fell on the others who happened to be in the kitchen as well. Mewtwo was telepathically removing the orange juice form the fridge. Pikachu was munching on an apple and working on a poorly drawn blueprint. Pichu was trying to recharge the batteries for his GameBoyAdvanceSP. The youngest Smashers (excluding Young Link) were eating Choco-Covered Sugar Munchies while waiting for the sausage.

Mewtwo drank his orange juice and read the label of the cereal. ' Sugar, chocolate, cocoa, fructose, sucrose, lactose, gluclose, corn meal, artificial sugar, brown sugar, wheat, food coloring. They'll be hyper today.' A deliciously eeeevil thought struck Mewtwo. He had already disrupted Bowser's sleeping patterns out of boredom, why not see to it that Bowser would have a horrible day to go with it?

"Bowser..."

"What?" the hungry turtle growled.

"Master Hand has been pressuring you to get a job as of late, has he not?"

Bowser rubbed his forehead with a clawed hand. Of course he had.

"Why don't you babysit the children? They require supervision, and Master Hand wouldn't ask you to get a job if he knew you were busy keeping them out of trouble."

"Hell no."

"Fine then. If you think yourself incapable of frightening a few children into submission, I-"

The ploy worked. "I'll do it." 'How hard could it be?'

Later that day, Bowser was found tied up and gagged in a closet.

At the nearby grocery store...

DK moved a heavy crate into the store. The manager was one of those managers who acted like their job was the epitome of success.(A.N. I like that word. Ignore me while I repeat it. Epitome. Epitome. Epitome.) "Open the crate now, rookie."

DK opened the crate as easily as I could eat a cookie. Mmm...I like cookies. Especially ones that juuuuuuust came out of the oven, and are gooey and-oh, am I making you hungry? I'll go back to the story. DK opened the crate, and his eyes widened.

"That concludes our documentary on 'Cheese: An American Dream.' We will now go to our

reporter on the field Yore Mamae. He is currently at the scene of an unusual occurence. By which I mean he ACTUALLY has a story! Congratulations, Yore!" She started to clap while the other people in the newsstation shuffled their feet awkwardly.

"Thank you Reporter Barbie. Oh, just out of curiosity, how many producers did you do to get this job?"

"Not nearly as many as you, Yore."

"Enjoy hell, Barbie."

"After you, Yore."

"I heard from a local source coughIactuallyworkcough that an ape was unloading fruit and suddenly went bananas!" Crickets chirped.

"This is why you'll never get promoted Yore."

"Up yours, Barbie. Police are now attempting to calm the ape and negotiate for the release of the bananas. And-THERE'S SOMETHING HAPPENING!!"

DK ran out of the grocery store with an armload of bananas. He tried to climb the building, but his arms were full. So he did the sensible thing and started to eat the bananas.

A group of living bananas stood anxiously in the crowd. Sickened, they turned away as DK ate their friends and family members. One couldn't stand it anymore and attacked DK. DK ate him. Well, what would you do if a banana attacked you? The crowd was horrified.

One cop was puzzled. "What is wrong with you people? They're bananas!"

Everyone gasped. The chief of police walked up to him and slapped him. The slapped officer immediately ate his words with soy sauce. "Let's save those bananas!!"

DK watched this with interest while eating the bananas. But then there was only one left. Duun dun duuuuuuunh! DK didn't feel like eating it in front of these horrible banana-snatchers, so he started to climb up the side of the building. The banana in his hand screamed.

"Oh. My. Gawd!" whispered Reporter Barbie.

"Uh, Barbie?"

"What?"

"Since when is a grocery stores twenty stories high?"

The police swarmed frantically around the building. They were lost. They didn't know what to do. Then help arrived when a green car pulled up. "Someone-a called-a for help-a?" a voice with an Italian accent spoke coolly. The police frantically nodded.

Luigi turned on his Poltergust3000 and sucked up the bananas in the crowd.

"What the hell are you doing?!?!"

"The bananas are-a possessed." Luigi looked at the topof the building.His sunglasses did that cool flash-thing. "And-a there's a one left." He dashed into the store.

The elevator was on the other side of the store. And this was the produce aisle. He took a meatball from his pocket and threw it across the room. It hit the "Up" button. Luigi grabbed two machine guns and ran through the store firing at fruit and vegetables. The elevator door opened, and Luigi dived in slow-motion while firing the guns. He slammed the '20th floor' button, and breathed a sigh of relief. "Almost-a didn't make it-a." Elevato music started to play, and Luigi hummed along to it. Do-do-do-dododo-dah-dah-do-do-dodo-dun,dun,dun,dunanun....

The elevator stopped. Luigi looked up from his pretty pony coloring book. The doors opened, and Luigi ran out while letting out his angry warcry.

DK stopped picking at his teeth. A banana peel was on the ground.

"DK! You did it-a!! There are-a no more-a possessed bananas! You should-a consider-a being-a my sidekiAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!"

There is a lesson to this. Never ask an ape to be your sidekick, or else you'll get thrown off a building.

In the hospital...

"Where is Young Link?! We've been searching for hours! I'm tiiiiiiiired..." whined Falco.

"I dunno! I dunno! I dunno! HasitreallybeenTHATlong? Huhhuhhuhhasit?" Guess who's wired on caffeine?

"....You gonna give me any of that coffee?"

"NononononononononooooooNO!"

"How the heck did you a jumbo pack of expresso in a hospital?!?"

They continued to walk down the hallway until they reached a 'T.' There were two ways to go. They had no clue which one to pick.

Young Link solved their dilemna for them....

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOOOWW!!!!!!!!!!"

....by running into Falco.

"Young Link! It'syouit'syouit'sreallyreallyyouwecanleavenow!!!!"

"Fox! Falco!" Young Link burst into tears. He was so relieved it was painful. He had been trapped in a hospital and chased by crazy doctors for hours, and now he was safe. He hugged Falco.

"Aaaaaaaaw!" Fox, Falco and Young Link turned around. There were the crazy doctors.

"............." They stared at the doctors. The doctors stared at them. As my ex-muse Steve the Evil Tomato used to say, "NEVER look a crazy doctor in the eye. They become....more crazy."

The hyper Fox grabbed Young Link and started to run, Falco close behind. The doctors definately had the advantage. This was their labyrinth. Fox and Falco were fast, but for all they knew, thye could make a wrong turn and end up in a dead end. There was no escape-

KABOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMM!!!!!

"Crud, this is just another room!"

"Then blow up another wall!"

"Okay!!"

KABOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMM!!!!!!

"Another room, dangit."

" Hey guys, this map says 'You are in the basement!' How does the map know where we are?" Fox was past the 'super fast' stage of hyperness, and was now in the 'loud, stupid, and talking to inanimate objects' stage.

"Fox...."

"Hey, map, where is the exit?"

"Fox!"

"Map, where are the doctors?"

"FOX!!"

"He has a point, Falco. Where'd the doctors go? Wouldn't they have figured out that we weren't still in that janitor's closet?"

"..............Shut up and blow up the wall."

Young Link shrugged, but then something occurred to him. "Uh, didn't Fox say we were in the basement?"

"..............Aw crap."

"Hey! The map just told me where the exit is!"

"It did?!?"

"Yeah!" Fox pointed to where the map said 'EXIT.'

"...No more coffee for you. EVER!"

Then the doctors walked in. They were ticked off because they hadn't been able to open the closet that they thought our heroes had been in. (A.N. Sorry 'bought that "our heroes" thing...)

"Falco..."

"Shut up, Fox. I'm thinking."

"Falco!"

"Can't hear you....."

"FALCO!!"

"LALALALALALALALA!! I CAN'T HEAR YOU!! LALALAA..."

"FALCO!!!"

"WHAT!?!"

"I think the doctors know where we are." The doctors stood in the doorway, arms crossed.

"You THINK?"

"Hold on. I'll ask them!" Fox had reached the 'avanced stupidity' stage.

"Just follow us!!"

"Okay! But they don't look happy, maybe I should invite 'em to come with OOOOW!!"

Falco dragged Fox along by his ear. Young Link was slightly ahead of him, blowing up doors or walls with his bombs. Falco checked another map. "We can either use the elevator or the stairs. We're closer to the stairs."

"Uh, Falco...?" The stairs had been reduced to toothpicks.

"Elevator it is."

They all rushed into the elevator, doctors included. They listened to the elevator music while the elevator slowly went up.

"Sooo...got any kids?" Falco asked one crazy doctor. The silence was a little awkward for him.

The doctor nodded. "Two. One's going through his potty-training now." The doctor smiled. He pointed to Young Link, who ducked behind Fox. "He yours?"

"No. We agreed to pick him up for a friend."

"Oh."

The elevator dinged.

"Mind if we get a head start?"

"Of course."

The doors opened. Fox, Falco, and Young Link ran like heck. Even with their head start, the doctors were close behind them. They were almost to the doors. Fox went into a slow motion dive.....and slammed into the doors. He made a squealing noise as he slid to the ground.

Falco and Young Link sweatdropped and walked out.

Falco turned to Young Link. "Wanna stop by McDonald's on the way home?"

End of chapter. Thanx for reading.

DarkWarLord: Yay!! Done with chapter 5!! (opens closet door, looks around, closes door)

(whispers) Please review!! Just click on the pretty purple button!