DarkWarLordofDoomness: Right, before anything else, Mr. Son of Marth, there are 26 Smashers if you count Nana and Popo separately. Now, returning to my present situation....
(is cornered by three SquishyandWrathfulJellyfishofWrath)
1st Jellyfish: Get 'er!
But before the squishy and wrathful jellyfish could attack, our wonderful authoress's army of Evil Tomatoes returns just in the nick of time to heroically crash through the wall and rescue her. They attacked the jellyfish and drove them from her lair in one mighty sweep. There was but one thing the army could not do: save themselves from the wrath of a dark warlord whose wall has pulverized.
DarkWarLordofDoomness: Thank you from the very bottom of my heart for rescuing me, but a) what were you doing all this time, and b) WHY DID YOU BREAK MY WALL?!?! Do you
know how expensive it is to get a hidden lair in the mountains repaired?
Steve the Evil Tomato: Well, the wall thing seemed like a good idea at the time. As for your first question, we tried working at a restaurant....that did NOT turn out good. (shudders) And since there doesn't seem to be any demand for a giant army of evil tomatoes, we decided to come back just at the nick of time. Happy? (-.-)
DarkWarLordofDoomness: Actually, yes! My muse has returned! (hugs Steve) But I have to apologize for all of the property damage you've caused while running rampant in addition to paying for the wall you destroyed which coughiscomingoutofyourpaycough! Now do the disclaimer!
Steve: DarkWarLordofDoomness owns nothing. That's nilch, ix-nay, nein, zero, nadda. She owns about as many characters as there is gray matter in her hea-(authoress claps hand over his mouth)
DarkWarLordofDoomness: That's enough of a disclaimer, Steve. Why don't we move on to the story now? In which there will ACTUALLY be some plot. (Steve looks horrified)
Chappie 6: The Assassin and the Hostage
In the lair of our still-unknown antagonists.....
"The doctors failed. We must send someone else." A deep, dangerous voice mused.
"But who?"
"Who else?"
"Ooooohh....Who?"
"................." There is the sound of a slap.
"OW!! Wha'd ya do that for!?
"Because you're an idiot. I'm talking about the assassin!"
"We have an assassin?"
"No, we have a chihuahua named Fred."
"REALLY!!?!"
"......No."
"Aaaaaww...."
There is the sound of footsteps approaching. "Reporting for duty, sir!"
"Jeff, for the last time, quit acting like a soldier, and take this idiot to the park."
"The park!! Yaaaaaaaaaaaa- hey, I'm not an idiot, poopy-brain!"
"Are too, snot-face!"
"Am not, limberger cheese!!"
That was too much of an insult for the other to take. He dealt the ultimate blow. "Fine then, you don't get to go to the park!"
"WHAT!?! I'm gonna tell Mom!!"
"............Okay...go to the stupid park."
"YAAAY!! I get to go to the pa-ark! I get to go to the pa-ark! I get to go to the pa-ark!"
".....Jeff, before you take him to the park, get my a phone. I need to call a friend...." The owner of the deep voice started to laugh evilly.
"I get to go to the pa-ark! I get to go to-"
"SHUT UP ALREADY!!!"
At the park....
"Young Link, don't stare."
"But-"
"It's rude. Not as rude as destroying a treasured hanky," Peach made a coughing noise that sounded remarkably like 'Mario' and continued. "But still rude. Popo, Nana, Ness, same for you three."
"Everyone else is staring."
"Does that make it right?"
"No, but it does make it socially acceptable!"
".....I give up...stare all you want." Peach sat delicately on a bench and pouted. 'Stupid child geniuses...'
A few feet away there were two guys wearing dark, hooded cloaks that shadowed their faces. Even if you stood right in front of them with the sun shining directly into their faces, you somehow wouldn't be able to see anything but two glowing red eyes.
One of the obviously evil, cloaked beings stood next to the swings. He looked around and saw everyone in the park staring at him. He sweatdropped and hunched his shoulders. "You done yet?" he muttered darkly to his companion.
"WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!" The other evil, cloaked villain person ignored him and continued his swinging. His glowing red eyes were currently shaped like glowing, upside-down red U's. (A.N. Like so n.n)
"WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!" he squealed delightedly. Everyone stared. An evil guy with red, glowing eyes and a face you can't see.....on the swings...very creepy. Very. Very. Very. Very. Creepy.
In front of the mansion and after this scene change announcement...
A niiiice car pulled up and the woman inside it exited the car, so that she was no longer within the vehicle, but instead, outside it, which is to say that she wasn't inside. Confused? Good.
The lady was wearing one of those buisnesswoman suits, and those really high high heels. Stiletto heels, I think. Just to clear this up, one of the highs in the first sentence of this paragraph is high as in refering to the height of the heels. The other is the name of the shoe type, as in 'high heels' and therefore I am not needlessly repeating myself. I repeat, I am not repeating myself. Once again, I am not repeating myself. Do I need to repeat that? No. Do I need to stop rambling and focus on the story that I am even now typing? Heck yeah.
The woman took out a microphone attached to a tape recorder that was attached to a belt she was wearing. She pressed the record button and lifted the microphone to her ruby painted lips.
"Testing, one, two, three, testing. I, the lovely assassin known as Reporter, have reached the home of the famous Smashers. I'm here to get their final interviews..." Smirking, the Reporter walked to the side of the mansion. Before she started to climb, she pressed a button on her handy-dandy utility belt. The Mission Impossible theme started to play.
Du du, dudududu du, duuunnh dun duuun, duuuuuuunduuundun, dun na nun nun nun.
An hour later, she finally reached the second story. "Note to self..." she panted into the microphone, "Never climb in high heels again."
Before moving on, the deadly reporter checked her make-up and reassured herself that every single platinum-blonde hair was perfectly in place. A reporter must always look good for the camera, even if there aren't any nearby. It's the sacred law that all reporters follow. Smiling her perfect smile-for-the-camera smile, she silently walked into the hallway.
Marth heard the sound of high-heeled footsteps behind him. Thinking it was either Peach or Zelda, he turned around.
"Konnichi-" KLONK!! The microphone struck his head, knocking him out instantly. Reporter expertly yanked back the cord and caught her speaking device/weapon.
"There you have it, the final word of Marth, the popular bishonen. Marth was caught completely off-guard, and never had a chance, proving that looks aren't everything. Now..."
she smirked and examined her long, red, sharpened nails. "Time to finish him off." Reporter extended her claw-like nails towards Marth's unprotected throat.
"Marth!!"
The rogue reporter swore and yanked her hand back. She couldn't risk anyone finding her. Her plan had been to track them down, one at a time, kill 'em, and hide the bodies in a closet. There was no way she could take them all down at once. Reporter ran like only someone in high heels can run, and ducked around a corner just in time.
"Hey, Marth, I got our payche-Kuso!!!" Roy jogged around the corner and tripped over his unconscious friend. "Dude, what the heck happened to you?! Oh...wait...you're unconscious, so you can't really answer. Well, why the heck did you have to go unconscious right there?! I bet you did that on purpose!!" Finally, after remembering that Marth could possibly, maybe, just maybe needed medical attention, Roy dragged him to the hospital section.
"Only a minor setback." Reporter hissed. No matter. She could deal with them both later. As she tippy-toed past yet another room, she heard voices and ducked behind a potted plant. Maybe they could be ambushed.
"Pika pika chu pi kah?"
"Chu!"
Reporter smirked. 'Top story: The tragic death of two Pokemon!' She began to twirl her microphone. Knock them both out, and find a way to make their deaths as horrible and tragic as possible, and then she'd have a headliner, front page.
Pichu's large ears perked up, and she tugged at Pikachu's paw. "Pi!" she squeaked, pointing at the potted plant.
"Kachu?"
Reporter stopped twirling her microphone, and itclunked loudly against the wall in her hurry to remain unnoticed.
Pikachu braced himself for a fight. "Chu ka pi chuchu!" He hissed to Pichu. She nodded and ran off to find the other Smashers.
"Piii...kaaaa..."
'Oh shi-'
"CHUU!!!" Pikachu zapped the plant.
Reporter jumped away, and hurled her microphone at Pikachu, who shielded. Pikachu attempted to tackle her but she jumped out of the way and kicked him.
"Kah!" High. Heels. Hurt. Pikachu was back on his feet, but he couldn't dodge her next attack and was slammed against the wall. Reporter slashed downward with her nail-claws, and Pikachu immediately used quick attack and avoided it.
And the cavalry arrived. All exits were blocked by Smashers. Seeing no escape, the reporter brought the microphone up to her mouth.
"I am cornered, but fear not! I'll just take them all down at once! Full story at three!" She waited as a clock ticked, then chimed three times. "I am now bringing you the story of the century! The downfall of the Smashers!" She took an item from her utility belt, and looked around the room, searching for a victim. Her eyes fell on the feeble-looking Mewtwo. She dashed towards him.
She was almost close enough to strike when Mewtwo teleported, revealing Roy-and his fully charged sword.
The reporter's eyes widened to the size of dinner plates, and for the first time everyone saw what she was holding.
The mother of all Bo-ombs. KAAAAAAAAABOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The rest of the Smashers were hurled back as Roy and the reporter flew through the roof and far, far away.
Roy didn't know how long he had been flying through the air, covered with soot and burns. Heck, at one point he probably even dozed off. Just when he was starting to like the sensation of flying through the air, he crashed through a stone roof. Reporter (he forgot about her) landed not-so-gently on him. Aside from the gaping hole in the roof letting in light, the place was dark. Very dark. He couldn't see anything in the rest of the room.
Reporter wearily stood up and and got off of Roy. Roy, from his cozy little spot on the cold stone floor, glared at her. Because of this reporter lady, he was in a weird lair-like place, had been blown up and thrown through the air, and as a result was in lots of pain.
Roy tried to get up so that if anything attacked he would at least be on his feet. He moved, and pain shot through him. It was like he was covered with one hell of a sunburn, which was probably what it amounted to. Since it hurt too much to move, he remained where he was.
"Hello Reporter."
Said person frantically tried to scan the room. Roy could see that her hair and clothes were singed. She searched for her tape recorder and microphone, but they apparently fell off in the explosion.
"You were unsuccessful." The voice made Roy nervous. It was low and dangerous.
"W-well....yes, b-but I was ambushed...i-it's not my faul-"
"Silence!" The voice hissed. "You have failed me for the first and last time."
"I-I brought a hostage!" Reporter's voice rose shrilly.
"Indeed. But you failed your assigned task. You know the penalty."
"It was only ONCE!!" Her voice grew higher and louder.
"Yes...and as thanks for your years of loyal service, you will die relatively quickly." Whoever it was laughed evilly. "Minion, bring the earmuffs!"
Someone wearing a black cloak that hid his face and pink, fuzzy earmuffs came with another pair and placed them over Roy's ears. Two more guys came forward and dragged Roy away from Reporter. She said something, but Roy couldn't hear it.
Right before his very eyes something was ahppening to her. Reporter looked like she was screaming. Her eyes rolled into the back of her head, and she fell to the floor, twitching. Froth poured out of her mouth, and she stopped moving.
Shocked, it took Roy a minute to realize that his earmuffs had been removed.
"It appears we-" A door opened loudly, and somone walked in.
"Just came to get my Barney cd!" The maker of noise announced cheerfully. "OOOOOW!!"
"What happened?"
"I bumped my shin...why do you keep it so dark in here?"
"Busy. Ask me later."
"Why do you have a hole in your ceiling?"
"....Guess what!!"
"What?!"
"If you're the first person to find the rainbow colored pineapple, you'll win a prize!"
"Wow! What's the prize?"
"A rainbow-colored pineapple!"
"COOL!" Hurried footsteps left the room.
"Idiot...now where was I...oh! Right." The leader walked forward. His gray cloak shielded his face, leaving only red eyes glowing from the darkness. "Roy, we want some information from you." He stressed the word 'information.'
Lights scattered through the room suddenly turned on, illuminating the room for two seconds before they fizzed out.
"Sorry! The circuit burned out! This'll take a minute!" Someone yelled from somewhere.
For several minutes they waited in the darkness. Someone sneezed, and someone else said, "Bless you." Then the sneezer said,"Thank you!"
"Why did you say 'thank you?'" That was someone else.
"Because it's the polite thing to do."
"Oh."
They all waited in the mostly darkness, silent. Roy considered making a run for it, but the second he tried to yank his arms out of the grip of his guards, their grip tightened. And that hurt, so he stopped. And the lights flared back to life.
"Finally!" The leader rolled his glowing red eyes before he directed Roy's attention to the trapdoor in the floor.
"If you do not wish to endure the horrors in here, you will tell us what we want to know."
"Never!" Roy played the part of the heroic captive.
"Aaww..." Whispered one guard behind him. "I wanted to know what Fox's favorite color is!"
"Very well then!" The leader hissed (he does that a lot) as he opened the trapdoor.
As Roy was pushed towards it, he saw what was in there, and his blood froze as his eyes absorbed the horrors within it.
EEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNDDDD CHAPTER 6
DarkWarLordofDoomness: Sooo tired.....I want sleep....stayed up late typing this.....(yawn) So, before I fall asleep on my computer, I just want to let Skye Agony:Guitarist of Doom know that her suggestion shall be used next chappie......now, I must sleeep.....
StevetheEvilTomato: What about editing your story?
DarkWarLordofDoomness: I know how to replace chapters now, so if there are any errors, lemme knooo.....zZzZz