DarkWarLordofDoomness: Okay, I have decided that I've been updating this waaaaaaaay too slowly. I seem to have this system going. Update, slack off for several weeks, update something else, slack off, upate this. I need to get on my butt and type!! Although, believe it or not, I have several excuses, and good ones at that. Stress, going to my great-grandma's computerless house for two days, doctor's appointment the day after that.....I got THREE shots, people. A needle was stuck into my arm, not once, not twice, three times. And it hurts like crazy. And now I have the hiccups to top it all off. Evile. Very, very, very evile, indeed. But , for the moment, I am nice. And you get your chapter.
Disclaimer: I disclaim already!! Why do you taunt me!?!? Why do you make me do this?!? I'm a (semi) good person!! Sort of.....I DON'T NEED THIS RIGHT NOW!!
Chapter 9: The Mary-Sue Money Manager
The Smashers charged up the stairs, pursued by an army of ants. There was really nothing they could do BUT run, for if they tried to turn and fight, well....
"TAKE THIS!! AND THIS!!" Peach smashed ants right and left with her parasol. The ants only ran faster and swarmed around her. She fought bravely, but was swept away.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!" Mario screamed.
"YEEEEEEEEES!!!!!!" chorused the ants in squeaky voices.
"NOOOOOO!!!!" Mario responded.
"YEEEEEES!!!!!!!"
"NO!"
"YES!"
"NO!"
"YES!"
"N-" Mario stopped mid-word and looked around. The rest of the Smashers were long gone. "Er.....Buh-bye-a!!" He ran as fast as his short plumber legs could run. The ants ran after him, climbing over eachother in their haste to serve their queen. This meant that there was a literal wall of ants climbing up the stairs after Mario. He was going to make it to the top of the stairs, he had a head start. Then the worst possible thing that could happen in this situation happened.
His shoes became untied.
"Mario!! KEEP RUNNING!!" Yoshi screamed from the top of the stairs. The little dinosaur, the one who in previous Mario games ran away as soon as he was hit, was bravely staying behind to help Mario. As soon as the plumber reached the top of the stairs, of course. There was no way Yoshi would run towards that wall of ants.
"But-a the laces willa get wrecked-a!!" Mario yelled back.
"There is a wall of ants coming after you, AND YOU'RE WORRYING ABOUT YOUR SHOE LACES!?!?! RUN!!!!"
Mario stared apprehensively at his shoes, then up at Yoshi jumping and waving his arms. He hesitated, then started to tie his shoe.
"NO!!! BAD!!!" Yoshi screamed. "THE ANTS, YOU IDIOT, THE ANTS!!!!"
"One-a minute!" Mario finished tying his left shoe, and started to tie his right.
"YOU DON'T HAVE A MINUTE! THE ANTS ARE RIGHT BEHIND YOU!!"
"Oh yea-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!!!" Mario was carried away.
"NOOOOOOOO-"
"Do we really have to start this up again?" The ants chorused. "If you don't mind, we're trying to feed our queen here."
Yoshi was immediately ashamed at his bad manners. "Oh, I'm sorry!" He apologised. "Is it okay if I run now?" He was an avid reader of the Miss Manners column.
"Go ahead, but do try to slow down a tad. We have at least two dozen more people to chase and capture."
"Okay!" Yoshi started to run in slow motion. The ants ran up and caught him. He was dragged away screaming. That quickly proved to be a bad idea, since some of the ants got in his mouth. He quickly shut up. He felt something wriggling on his tongue, and swallowed automatically. Actually, the ants weren't half bad. He'd eaten worse on the battlefield.
The ants continued to push him along. He was in a world of darkness, seeing nothing but the billions of ants surrounding him. (AN. Anyone grossed out yet? I am.) It was like a never-ending tunnel. Then he saw the light at the end.
The ants pushed him forward until his head was suddenly above the stream of ants. He looked around, noting how different the kitchen looked when everything was covered in ants.
"Tea?" The Queen Ant offered him a teacup.
"Er....sure." Yoshi took the steaming drink. The ants suddenly let him go. As he drank the tea, he saw Mario and Peach also appear. 'Why'd I get here first?'
"Tea?" The Queen Ant handed teacups to the two.
Mario blinked. "You-a aren't-a going to eat-a us?"
"Goodness, no, that would be horrid!" The humongous ant looked horrified.
"You said you were going to eat us earlier!" Peach pointed out accusingly.
"I'm sorry, that was before I decided that the Atkins Diet could go to bloody hell." The Queen Ant sipped her tea, the ant equivalent of a pinky extended outward. "Those awful diets make you do the most astounding things. Sugar in your tea?"
"Yes, thank you!" Peach's princess upbringing quickly took over. The four continued to chat about random things that you talk about while drinking tea. It was a lovely, peaceful scene.
Elsewhere in the mansion.....
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!" Ganondorf ran up the final few stairs. The Smashers slammed the door shut and stuffed the cracks around the door with anything they could find. Clothes, curtains, paper, blankets, a stray cat....
"It's Dexter!" Bowser roared gleefully.
"Meow meow meow meow meow meow meow!" Dexter the kitten sang.
"It's so CUTE!!!" Nana squealed.
"Meow meow meow-MEEEROW!!" Kirby ate it.
"You ate Dexter!!" Kirby burped up a tuft of ginger fur. The little kids, and Bowser as well, started to cry.
"Tastes like chicken." He squeaked happily. After this, the chibi Smashers were petty much traumatized for life. Bowser started sobbing.
Luigi, inspired to leadership in the absense of his brother, took charge. He thought for a moment. A lightbulb flickered into life above his head. "Okay-a, we all-a need to-a abandon the mansion until-a we-a can-"
"We need to take down those ants." Zelda took over Luigi's position of leadership. The lightbulb fell to the ground and burst into flame.
"PIKA!!! Pikachu chu cha kachu pika pika pi!!!"
"That might work...." Mewtwo mused. "Only, you would need someone to distract the ants by trying to attack the Queen Ant. It would be suicidal to do that, though...." Kirby burped up another tuft of fur.
"Any volunteers?"
Young Link, Nana, Popo, Ness, Pichu, and Bowser all tackled Kirby. Popo and Nana held Kirby's arms up.
"NOO!!!" Kirby squeaked."Nononononononononononononooooooo!!!!!!"
"Thank you for volunteering, Kirby."
"CAN'T YOU FRIGGIN' HEAR ME!?!? I SAID NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!"
"Anyone want to help Pikachu and Pichu with their part of the plan?"
Several people raised their hands.
"Okay. Now, we need someone to do this and that, and yadda yadda."
Everyone stood there, confused.
"Oh, did I actually say 'yadda yadda?'"
Everyone nodded.
"I'm sorry. What I meant to say was, we need someone to do this and that and blah blah blah. Any more volunteers?"
Everyone who hadn't volunteered for anything else raised their hands.
The plan was put into action.
Kirby was pushed out the door. "NO!!" he screamed as it was locked behind him. "Let me in! Let me in!!"
"Not by the hair on my chinny-chin-chin!" Young Link yelled.
"You don't have ANY hair on your chinny-chin-chin! LINK doesn't have any hair on his chinny-chin-chin, and he's seventeen!! And he's gone through puberty!!"
"Now that was below the belt." Link muttered.
"You're still not coming in." Young Link told Kirby.
"Meanie!"
"Pinky!!" Ness yelled, eager to join in the insulting.
"Brain!!"
"Thanks!"
Nana started to giggle. Pichu looked puzzled for a moment, then started to laugh squeakily.
"Why are you giggling?" Popo poked her, annoyed that he wasn't in on the joke.
"Kirby and Ness!" Nana paused, took a deep breath, giggled, and continued. "You know, that tv show? The pinky, the pinky and the brain, brain, brain, brain!!" She started laughing again.
"I don't see what's so funny." Kirby muttered angrily. 'I'm getting sent on a suicide mission, and they're all laughing at me. Well, fine then. I'll go down and attack the Queen Ant, and she'll eat me, and I'll die, and that'll show THEM!'
He jumped down the stairs. The question was, how would he get past the wall of ants? Then Kirby looked out a window. That would do. He opened it, and jumped out. He floated down, and circled the house until he found a kitchen window. Her opened it, and yelled.
"HEY ANTS!! I'M HERE TO ATTACK THE QUEEN!!!!!" The message spread like wildfire through the troops. 'On second thought, bad idea.' The ants on the stairs turned around, intent on protecting the Queen from any intruders.
"They've turned around!!" Ness shouted to Zelda.
"Okay, we've got to hurry then."
Mewtwo, Luigi, Pikachu, Bowser, Pichu, and Captain Falcon ran (or floated) down the stairs after the retreating ants. They dashed into the garage. Pikachu ran over to a huge thing covered with a sheet. He yanked off the sheet.
"Okay, how come I didn't notice that?!?"
Pikachu unveiled the giant lazer constructed out of floss, three toasters, a microwave, around eight hairdryers, and other assorted items.
"So THAT'sa where Peach'sa hairdryers have-a gone....."
"Pikachu pika kachu."
"Mewtwo?"
"He'd appreciate it if you didn't tell her."
"Oh. Don'ta worry-a, I saw how she reacted-a when Mario-a told her-a aboutta her hanky-a. I'm notta telling." Luigi reassured Pikachu.
Bowser and Captain Falcon both lifted the lazer, and tried to carry it into the house. It wouldn't fit through the door.
"Maybe we should-a bring it outta the garage door-a and-"
"Hey."
"What?"
"I just realized, Master Hand disappeared."
"Huh. You're right-a. Where is-a he?"
In Las Vegas.......
Master Hand put a quarter in one of the slot machines. The little thingies started to spin. They landed on L.......OS.....ER..........'Huh?!?' Master Hand angrily threw the stupid machine through a window. He vaguely wondered whether Crazy had returned home, and whether or not the Smashers had been eaten. All semblence of concern was driven from his mind as he saw the poker table.
'I can stay a little longer....'
Back At the Mansion......
"Who knows. I bet the ants got him."
"Right-a. As-a I was-a saying, we should-a bring the lazer outta through the garage and-a then......"
Mewtwo blasted the door, creating a gaping hole in the wall.
"Or-a you could-a do that....."
Bowser and Captain Falcon carried it through the hallway, until they reached the kitchen door. Pikachu grabbed the joystick (made from a spoon) and aimed the lazer at the Queen Ant.
"..it's so lovely to meet you, Kirby. More tea?"
"Yes please!" Kirby chirped.
"As I was saying, I think that people are so rude when it comes to rank. I'm a princess, but does anyone care? Noooooo, they punch me just like anyone else..."
"Peach-a, inna fight, they're-a supposed to punch you-a, or else-a they can'ta win....." Mario was bored out of his mind. And all that tea was making him need to go on a trip to thre bathroom.
"Well, yeah, they should just let ME win. Now, your majesty, what are the fashions like in London right now?"
"Well, the current style is to have your antennae curled. And there are some darling dresses that would look just lovely on you."
"Why, thank you!" Mario was in a state of mind-numbing boredom. He lifted the cup of tea to his face, and, instead of putting it to his lips, he accidentally lifted it to his forehead, and smashed the cup against his head.
'Someone.......help......me....'
A blue lazer beam tore through the room, barely missing the Queen Ant, and taking out half the kitchen with it.
"DANGIT!!"
"Pikachu, let me aim!"
Peach sat where she was, stunned. "What?"
Mario jumped up. "I'm-a saved-a!!"
When the smoke cleared, they all saw the lazer. And the gaping hole it had turned the doorway into. Mario ran through the hole, down the hallway, and into the bathroom.
There was another explosion, and the dust cleared to reveal Zelda, Link, Young Link, the Ice Climbers, Ganondorf, Ness, Jigglypuff, Dr. Mario, Falco, Mr. Game&Watch, and DK. And yet another gaping hole in the wall. They all rushed in, and started squishing, smashing, crunching, flattening, obliterating, blasting, squashing, terminating, punching, kicking, destroying, and exterminating the ants. Pichu pushed Pikachu out of the way and aimed the lazer at the Queen Ant. Peach, horrified, stepped in the way.
"PICHU! PIPICHU?!?!"
"What are you doing?" Mewtwo translated.
"What does it look like?! I'm protecting the Queen Ant! She's nice, and sweet, and English!"
"She tried to eat us!!" Link yelled. Mr. Game&Watch stopped hitting ants with his prying pan long enough to beep in agreement. DK, after punching several ants on the wall (and making more holes) grunted.
"She was on the Atkin's Diet! Her brain was deprived of carbs! You don't act rationally when you're on the Atkin's Diet!!"
"It's true." piped up Kirby.
Pichu took her finger off the 'FIRE' button.
Mario came out of the bathroom. "Anyone who wants-a the Queen Anta to remain-a here-a, raise your hand-a."'Maybe Peach will forget about the hanky incident....'
After a brief period of thought, they all raised their hands.
"Welcome-a, Queen Anta, you are-a the newest-a Smasher-a!"
There was a brief round of applause, and Peach hugged first Mario, then the Queen Ant. The Queen Ant dabbed at her eyes with a hanky.
"You're all such wonderful duckies! It is so lovely of you all to welcome me he-"
KABOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!
The Queen Ant suddenly exploded, covering all of the Smashers with bug guts. Peach stood there, shocked. The Queen Ant's smoking crown fell into her outstretched arms. The smoked cleared, revealing two things.
One, the kitchen was pretty much destroyed.
Two, there was a beautiful girl standing about three yards away. She was the only thing not covered in ant guts. She smiled at them, revealing perfect teeth.
"Hi! My name is Mary-Sue! I'm your new money manager!"
At a far-away Longs....
Samus rubbed her aching head. Several verses of a song popped into her head.
There's a dead end to my left, and a burning bush, to my right....you aren't in sight....
'Let's revise that a bit to fit the situation, shall we? There's an old guy to my left, and a crying baby, to my right. Marth is in sight.....'
Samus leaned over to the side a bit, and craned her head around the fat woman with the crying baby. She squinted, trying to see to the front of the line. She thought she could, barely. Just barely. Next to her, Marth was trying not to look at the guy wearing clashing colors several people behind them. Then (AT LAST!!) the line moved!! Samus gladly stepped forward two inches.
They were in the dreaded pharmacy line.
Samus mentally pleaded with the people ahead of them to move. She had been in this line for hours, waiting to get Marth's allergy pills. You'd think that you could get Allegra in the regular medecine aisle, but noooooo, someone's stupid kid had to overdose on the stuff. Some stupid politician decided that the stores would have to be more responsible. Some stupid person decided to make some other idiot run the cash register. Some stupid idiot with blue hair had decided that he just couldn't simply buy a lot of tissue and suck it up.
"Well, you know, I needed to refill my prescription anyway. I figured I could get it done now...." Marth said, timidly. Samus turned and growled at him. A Samus with a headache was a dangerous Samus. A tired Samus was a dangerous Samus. An impatient Samus waiting in line was a dangerous Samus. All of the above made for a lethal time-bomb that could be set off by the smallest vibration.
Marth made a little "eep" and edged away from her. He found himself wishing, for the millionth time, that he was at home. Home was safe. 'Sort of.' Home was peaceful. 'When things aren't exploding.' Home was where he was Marth the hottie, Marth the bishounen, Marth the impressive, Marth the wonderful. He certainly wasn't humiliating himself in front of a girl he liked at home. He certainly wasn't turning her into a ticking time-bomb at home. Nope. Not at home. He thought that he could impress Samus by running in and heroically saving his best friend. He hadn't thought that he'd be reduced to a nervous wreck on a mountain, or that he'd go somewhere filled to the stinkin' brim with those damn poppies. He hadn't expected his nose to turn into Niagra Falls. He hadn't meant to make Samus miserable. But it happened anyway.
'Smooth move, Marth. Think you can mess things up more, while you're at it?!?!?'
Miserably, Marth looked anywhere and at anything but Samus at the moment. He decided to stare at the guy wearing a dark, hooded cloak. Such an ugly cloak. Didn't the guy have any decency? And he was talking on a cell phone. So rude. And he was raising his voice in that annoying way people sometimes did.
"Yeah!! Uh-huh! Well, I'M IN LINE AT THE PHARMACY RIGHT NOW! HUH!?!? WHAT DID YOU SAY?!? OH, THAT RED HEAD GUY!! He was thrown into a pit of rabid fangirls. I said, A PIT OF RABID FANGIRLS!! You seriously need to quit ditchin' work, man. You'll never get Employee of the Month at this rate. Yeah, I think he's called.....something. Rhymes with boy....."
Marth stuck a finger into his ear. Had he just heard that? Or was he hallucinating?
'No, I can't be. Redhead, tortured by getting throwninto a pit of rabid fangirls, name rhymes with boy.....just needs one more detail, and I will KNOW it's Roy.....'
He need to be sure. It would be pretty embarassing to attack someone in public when they hadn't done anything.....
"What? WHAT?? Oh, he's definately a bishounen, but he's very short. I SAID HE'S SHORT!!!! Jeez, listen....."
'Short. Oh yeah, that's Roy all right.' Marth drew his sword and pushed several people aside.
Samus' head was throbbing. Maybe she shouldn't have growled at Marth, but, at the moment, she was not in a good mood. Then, from up ahead, there were loudly voiced complaints making her headache worse. She charged up her blaster, preparing to blast whoever was causing the noise.
'Say, wouldn't that be WHOMever?' The annoying little voice in her head piped up. Samus mentally envisioned crushing that little voice, hitting it and blasting it into oblivion. The voice quickly shut up.
She pushed several people out of her way, and saw....MARTH!?!?! He was yelling at some weird guy in a black cloak. The cloaked guy kept yelling back and pointing to his cell phone. Finally, the cloaked guy yelled "I'LL CALL YOU BACK!!" into the phone, and turned to face Marth.
"WHAT DO YOU WANT!?!?" the guy yelled. "Oops, erm, sorry. What do you want?" He said again, this time in a deep, menacing voice.
"Where's Roy?!" Marth yelled.
The cloaked guy snapped his fingers. "Dude, THAT's the name I was trying to remember! Hold on, I need to tell my friend!" He pulled out his cell phone. There was a flash of steel, and half the cell phone fell to the floor. The cloaked guy stared at it dumbly.
"Dude....you are sooooo paying for that."
"You are soooooo telling me where Roy is!" Marth pointed his sword at the cloaked guy. Next to him, Samus also pointed her blaster at the guy.
'So this guy knows where Roy is, eh?' Her headache had magically disappeared.
The cloaked guy stared from Marthto Samus, and then back to Marth. He grinned, though they couldn't see it, and prepared to throw a ball of energy at them.
"STOOOOOOOP!!!!!" A man wearing a green uniform ran towards them. "Longs Patrol!" He puffed out his chest. "Here to stop chaos and shoplifting! To protect the innocent spenders! Here to point out great deals! And, most importantly, to stop cutting!" The rather portly man took out a baton. "And you, sirs, were cut-" He was interrupted by a blast from Samus' blaster.
"I. Am. Not. A. SIR!!!!"
"Uh, Samus?"
"WHAT!?! Are you saying that girls can't wear robotic armor in public without being mistaken for guys!?!"
"No, I'm saying the cloaked guy's running away."
"Oh." They started to run after him, but the jerk already had a big head start. Well, he did, until.....
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!"
Crazy Hand crashed through the wall, with poor Fox on his back, and ran over the cloaked guy. He saw Marth and Samus, and ran around in a circle, then stopped with a screech.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!!!" Fox flew off Crazy Hand and over the pharmacy counter. He landed with a very large crash.
The cloaked guy tried to get up, but stopped when he felt Marth's blade against his throat.
"Where's Roy?"
"Um......hold on, I need, like, mapquest to find the secret base from here."
'Secret base?!? Oh, geez.....'
Samus ran over to the counter, and found Fox lying on a medicine shelf.
"You okay?"
Fox lifted his head, sloooooooooooooowly. There was a large bump on his head. A container of pills was lodged in his mouth. He glared at her, then jumped to his feet and walked away with as much dignity as he could muster. Then he stepped on another little container of pills, and fell flat on his face. Dignity gone. He stood up, and started gagging. Samus ran up and slapped him on the back. He coughed up the container. It rolled over to Marth.
"My allergy pills!!" Marth picked up the container. He tried to open it, unsuccessfully. "Stupid child-proof caps...."
"Hey mister! You having trouble opening that?"
"Yeah..." Marth blinked at the little boy. The kid took the container, opened it, and handed it back.
"Thanks." The boy smiled, and then vanished into the crowd as only random people unimportant to the plot can. Marth stared after him for a while, and then looked into the container.
"What is it?" Samus raised an eyebrow.
"I don't need them right now, though....." Marth put the cap back on.
"Um...help....." The cloaked guy was obviously scared. Crazy Hand was floating around him, cackling evilly.
"Where's the secret lair-thingy?"
"Urm.....it's two miles that way, and then you turn that way, and then you go through this tunnel thingy, and you'll be there....I think......"
Crazy Hand started to scream "PINEAPPLES!!!!!!" as loudly as he could.
"GET HIM AWAY FROM ME!!" The cloaked guy screamed.
"Let's go. We've wasted too much time."
"Can I go home?" Fox asked Samus.
"........No."
An Hour Later....
Fox, Samus, Marth, and Crazy Hand stood in front of a huge tunnel.
"Think this is it?" Fox shrugged.
"Someone needs to go in first, look around, then come out and get us."
"How about no."
"Fine then."
"I say we go in stealthily." Crazy Hand shrieked and flew into the tunnel.
"Well, so much for that."
In the lair......
The gray-cloaked leader laughed evilly. His laughter was loud and evil, and echo-ey because of the nature of his lair.
"Are you gonna stop laughing anytime soon?"
"Excuse me?!" The leader stopped his evil laughter and narrowed his red, glowing eyes at the foolish minion.
"Well, you've been laughing for almost two days straight. We were wondering if you were sick or something...."
"Well, I'm not laughing anymore, am I!?!"
"Hey, don't get mad at me, your brother told me to..."
"Go away."
"What!?!"
"You're fired."
"No way! You can't do that!"
"I'm a bad guy. Of course I can."
"I'm gonna tell the Minion's Union on you!" The minion ran away, sobbing.
"Stupid union...ah, well. Let's see...." The leader took out his handheld. "Schedule....laugh evilly....did that....go to doctor's for tetanus shot...." He paused and deleted that.".....ah! Pick on little brother! Perfect timing." He ran down the tunnel. His billowing cloak made him almost appear to glide. His quick footsteps echoed back as he searched for his little brother. Suddenly, it occurred to him that he was walking in circles.
'Note to self: get maps installed in tunnels.' He peeked into another room. He recognized it as the Rabid Fangirl Pit Room.
'Note to self: come up with a better name for this room.'
He walked over to the edge of the pit, and glanced in. Torturing the prisoner, torturing his little brother, both were fun enough. Granted, he didn't have to deal with the insanity of the rabid fangirls when torturing his little brother. He scanned the pit, then spotted Roy. He announced his arrival with an evil laugh.
Roy tried to turn his head to glare at the evil-leader-person, but the fangirl obsessively brushing his hair wouldn't let him.
"More tea, Roy?" Tiffany the Rabid Fangirl poured some tea into a pink plastic cup then tried to make Roy drink it.
"NO! I SAID THAT THE LAST FIFTY TIMES!!"
"Tee-hee! You're soooooo, like, kawaii! SEE!" She snarled at the rabid fangirl combing Roy's hair. "I am, like, totally more Japanese-y than you! Roy loves ME more!"
"No, you are soooooooo not!" Jennifer snarled back. "Roy's letting me brush his hair!"
'Not like I have any choice....' Roy was tied to a pink chair. Jennifer pulled him away from Tiffany. Tiffany lept into the air and tackled Jennifer. Jennifer yanked at Tiffany's hair. While they were fighting, a rabid fangirl named Dawn dragged Roy away from them. Then she sat down, and just gazed adoringly at him. At first, Roy thought this was an improvement from Jennifer and Tiffany, but when the girl didn't even blink, he started to get really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really creeped out.
He tried staring back. That didn't work. He turned, and glared at the grey-cloaked leader.
"I hate you so much."
"Well, you know, you could end the torture if you just gave me some information......"
Roy turned and stared at the girl who was staring at him. Was it his imagination, or were her eyes growing larger?
"What sort of information?"
"On a piece of paper, write down your favorite color, favorite music, stuff like that.A cousin of mine won't leave me alone until I give her your autograph."
Roy's eye twitched. "You mean, I endured TWO sleepless days of being thrown around like a stuffed doll, getting half my hair yanked from my scalp, watching my cape get shredded up, and being force-fed nasty tea from pink plastic cups, ALL BECAUSE YOUR COUSIN WANTS MY AUTOGRAPH!?!?!"
"She's a very annoying cousin."
"Okay, get me outta here!!!!"
"Minions, get him out of there!"
Silence.
"MINIONS!!?!
Silence.
Then complete havoc as Roy's rescuers arrived.
Samus fired several blasts at the leader guy.
Crazy Hand flew through the air, twitching and laughing maniacally. In other words, he was no help.
Fox did a slow motion dive while firing his blaster.
Marth jumped into the rabid fangirl pit to save Roy. This was a bad idea because:
1) It's filled with rabid fangirls.
2)He is a bishounen. They are rabid fangirls.
3) It's a pit. How are you going to get out??
4) IT'S FILLED WITH RABID FANGIRLS!!!!
Marth shrieked as the rabid fangirls swarmed around him. Soon, he was also tied to a pink chair, and rabid fangirls fought eachother trying to get close enough to touch his hair.
The leader guy looked around, desperately dodging Samus' missiles, and then saw the ultimate weapon. He grabbed a pair of fluffy pink earmuffs, and jammed them on his head. He ran over to the giant stereo, the same one that had sent out the music that had killed the Reporter, and turned it on.
END CHAPPIE 9!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
DarkWarlordofDoomness: BWUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!! An extra long chappie, with a cliffhanger!!! (continues evil laughter)
StevetheEvilTomato: O.O