Out of the dorm we go ...
Part X
It was painful to watch him struggle to do things that had been done with graceful movements before. He hasn't left our room in the nine days he's been out of the infirmary. I've been told to get him out of here. I don't know if I can stand to listen to the people whisper about him and stare at him. He's human and the selfish hordes won't remember that if they get a whiff of what's really wrong with him. Right now he's sprawled on his bed, trying to focus on the book in front of him. I know it's hard for him to read and so many times I want to just sprawl beside him and read it out to him, but I won't. That would hurt him more than the headache he's no doubt developing trying to read that book. He looks so lost and alone when he can't manage something he could do before.
"Hey Squall?"
"Yeah?" Even his voice his different. He sounds so down-hearted now. He's looking at me and his eyes are even more lifeless than they were before.
"You wanna head down to your office? Cid's been pestering why you're staying in here." I don't want to force him, but Cid will if he doesn't do something soon. He looked back to his book and I prayed that he wouldn't ignore me. Having appointed myself as his 'keeper' the task has given me so much time just to study the perfection of him. His beautiful bangs, those stormy eyes, the built body that has slowly gotten more and more masculine. Three years ago he was willowy and lithe, now he has built himself up and he looks more like a cross between myself and Zell, muscular and strong, but also lithe.
"Yeah. Let's head now." Here's the painful part, watching him try to stand. Just rolling over on his bed disorients him so that he has to stop dead still and wait for the nausea to reside. I moved the wheelchair to his side and waited as he stood, wavering before he managed to sink down into the chair. Often he gets annoyed when I push the chair, but not today. We managed to fight the crowds and get into his office. In the corner rests his Lionheart. I brought it here from our dorm so that he didn't have to look at it every time he was in there. I let go of the chair and he moved himself over to the case. I watched as he drew Lionheart from its case and rested it across his knees, just staring at the blue blade that he would probably never wield again.
"I should have put that somewhere else right?" He jumped at my words, as if he had forgotten I was there. He turned to look at me and I could see the tears on his cheeks. I turned the key in the lock and moved to his side. Once there I sank to my knees and took his hands in mine. I wanted to do so much more than that. I wanted to curl up with him in his bed with the covers over us and forget about the rest of the world. But I know he wouldn't go for that.
"No, it's best that I see it, so I can't fool myself that it'll just go away."
"You want me to get rid of the bastards outside?" I could tell he was uncomfortable with the banging on the door and he nodded. I let go of his hand and stormed out the door to find myself face to face with Quistis (the slut that still has a crush on Squall) with a triumphant look on her face.
"Squall wants to be left alone, so you can all disperse. He'll see everyone when he's ready. His injury is very painful and he doesn't want to take the pain out on anyone." I waved my arms in a shooing motion at the crowd as I finished before I closed the door behind myself.
"Wasn't that going just a little too far?"
"Nah, it got rid of them didn't it?" I looked up to find Squall in his desk chair, his head back and eyes closed as he had been the other time I'd been here to talk with him. There was a pang of sadness in me that made me realise that I didn't like the way Squall was now. He had been perfect before, an idol to be worshipped, that would never fall in love with me but now Squall isn't perfect and that scared me because I knew that I had no reason not to approach him with an offer of something more than friendship.
"Seifer?"
"Sorry, what?"
"Do you reckon we could brave the cafeteria for dinner?"
"If you're up to it. It's real noisy."
"I'll have to do it sooner or later."
Part X
It was painful to watch him struggle to do things that had been done with graceful movements before. He hasn't left our room in the nine days he's been out of the infirmary. I've been told to get him out of here. I don't know if I can stand to listen to the people whisper about him and stare at him. He's human and the selfish hordes won't remember that if they get a whiff of what's really wrong with him. Right now he's sprawled on his bed, trying to focus on the book in front of him. I know it's hard for him to read and so many times I want to just sprawl beside him and read it out to him, but I won't. That would hurt him more than the headache he's no doubt developing trying to read that book. He looks so lost and alone when he can't manage something he could do before.
"Hey Squall?"
"Yeah?" Even his voice his different. He sounds so down-hearted now. He's looking at me and his eyes are even more lifeless than they were before.
"You wanna head down to your office? Cid's been pestering why you're staying in here." I don't want to force him, but Cid will if he doesn't do something soon. He looked back to his book and I prayed that he wouldn't ignore me. Having appointed myself as his 'keeper' the task has given me so much time just to study the perfection of him. His beautiful bangs, those stormy eyes, the built body that has slowly gotten more and more masculine. Three years ago he was willowy and lithe, now he has built himself up and he looks more like a cross between myself and Zell, muscular and strong, but also lithe.
"Yeah. Let's head now." Here's the painful part, watching him try to stand. Just rolling over on his bed disorients him so that he has to stop dead still and wait for the nausea to reside. I moved the wheelchair to his side and waited as he stood, wavering before he managed to sink down into the chair. Often he gets annoyed when I push the chair, but not today. We managed to fight the crowds and get into his office. In the corner rests his Lionheart. I brought it here from our dorm so that he didn't have to look at it every time he was in there. I let go of the chair and he moved himself over to the case. I watched as he drew Lionheart from its case and rested it across his knees, just staring at the blue blade that he would probably never wield again.
"I should have put that somewhere else right?" He jumped at my words, as if he had forgotten I was there. He turned to look at me and I could see the tears on his cheeks. I turned the key in the lock and moved to his side. Once there I sank to my knees and took his hands in mine. I wanted to do so much more than that. I wanted to curl up with him in his bed with the covers over us and forget about the rest of the world. But I know he wouldn't go for that.
"No, it's best that I see it, so I can't fool myself that it'll just go away."
"You want me to get rid of the bastards outside?" I could tell he was uncomfortable with the banging on the door and he nodded. I let go of his hand and stormed out the door to find myself face to face with Quistis (the slut that still has a crush on Squall) with a triumphant look on her face.
"Squall wants to be left alone, so you can all disperse. He'll see everyone when he's ready. His injury is very painful and he doesn't want to take the pain out on anyone." I waved my arms in a shooing motion at the crowd as I finished before I closed the door behind myself.
"Wasn't that going just a little too far?"
"Nah, it got rid of them didn't it?" I looked up to find Squall in his desk chair, his head back and eyes closed as he had been the other time I'd been here to talk with him. There was a pang of sadness in me that made me realise that I didn't like the way Squall was now. He had been perfect before, an idol to be worshipped, that would never fall in love with me but now Squall isn't perfect and that scared me because I knew that I had no reason not to approach him with an offer of something more than friendship.
"Seifer?"
"Sorry, what?"
"Do you reckon we could brave the cafeteria for dinner?"
"If you're up to it. It's real noisy."
"I'll have to do it sooner or later."