Admittance from Squall.
Part XI
Seifer. Just his name makes my heart jump these days. It's been four weeks since the day I left our dorm and I can walk now. Just. It's more of a slow dawdle that isn't always straight, but Seifer reckons that it looks just the same as I walked before. The first few steps were done with Seifer holding me steady. His hands on my skin were heavenly and I had to hide in bed for an hour afterwards so that he wouldn't be able to tell the affect he had on me. Right now I'm waiting for him to come and join me in my office. He went into Esthar to see if they had any type of potion that could help me and he promised to be back by twenty minutes ago.
"Got something. Odine wasn't too sure if it'd work, so it's not guaranteed."
"We'll try it anyway tonight." We have tried so many powders and pills and devices but none of them seem to work. Seifer works harder at this than I do sometimes and it feels good to know that someone cares. Several times I've caught him watching me when I'm not supposed to notice and he has this far off look on his face as if he sees something more than just surface value. There's something in his eyes that makes me wonder just what he's thinking about. Sometimes I think that something might just be love and other times lust but mostly I think I'm crazy and that it's pity that he refuses to let me see. If it is pity, I don't mind that he keeps it from me.
"I'm gonna head back and play for a while. You coming?"
"Yeah." Seifer plays his saxophone several hours a day. He sounds so wonderful that sometimes I nearly cry at how beautiful it sounds. Today however I know I can't stand to listen to him. As we walked back, I caught his elbow just before the door. I had to ask him not to play. I had to tell him how I felt about him today, no matter what happens.
"Could you not play tonight?"
"What's wrong? I thought you liked me playing?"
"I do, just not tonight Seifer."
"Do you have one of those headaches again?"
"Yeah." I hated having to lie to him, even though a killer headache was coming on, it was the fact that he played love songs most of the time. How the hell was I going to get through this without falling apart over him? Just this morning I saw him in only his boxers and I have never seen anything so fine in my entire life. His body's hairless, as if he shaves it or something and his fingernails are always short and neat. His hair, even when he just wakes up, is still almost always perfectly in place. I looked away from him as he opened the door and almost collided with Rinoa. I don't know what was worse, the fact that she had blonde roots that were three inches long, or the fact that she was trying to kiss me at the same time as she was trying to feel me up.
"Rinoa."
"Oh Squallie! I missed you so much!"
"Rinoa."
"Squallie, I know you miss me as much as I miss you."
"Rinoa."
"Squallie, you don't have to apologise, I know you were worked up about work."
"Rinoa."
"Squallie, I forgive you."
"Rinoa."
"Squallie, of course I'll take you back."
"Rinoa."
"Squallie, I love you."
"Rinoa, I'm gay."
Part XI
Seifer. Just his name makes my heart jump these days. It's been four weeks since the day I left our dorm and I can walk now. Just. It's more of a slow dawdle that isn't always straight, but Seifer reckons that it looks just the same as I walked before. The first few steps were done with Seifer holding me steady. His hands on my skin were heavenly and I had to hide in bed for an hour afterwards so that he wouldn't be able to tell the affect he had on me. Right now I'm waiting for him to come and join me in my office. He went into Esthar to see if they had any type of potion that could help me and he promised to be back by twenty minutes ago.
"Got something. Odine wasn't too sure if it'd work, so it's not guaranteed."
"We'll try it anyway tonight." We have tried so many powders and pills and devices but none of them seem to work. Seifer works harder at this than I do sometimes and it feels good to know that someone cares. Several times I've caught him watching me when I'm not supposed to notice and he has this far off look on his face as if he sees something more than just surface value. There's something in his eyes that makes me wonder just what he's thinking about. Sometimes I think that something might just be love and other times lust but mostly I think I'm crazy and that it's pity that he refuses to let me see. If it is pity, I don't mind that he keeps it from me.
"I'm gonna head back and play for a while. You coming?"
"Yeah." Seifer plays his saxophone several hours a day. He sounds so wonderful that sometimes I nearly cry at how beautiful it sounds. Today however I know I can't stand to listen to him. As we walked back, I caught his elbow just before the door. I had to ask him not to play. I had to tell him how I felt about him today, no matter what happens.
"Could you not play tonight?"
"What's wrong? I thought you liked me playing?"
"I do, just not tonight Seifer."
"Do you have one of those headaches again?"
"Yeah." I hated having to lie to him, even though a killer headache was coming on, it was the fact that he played love songs most of the time. How the hell was I going to get through this without falling apart over him? Just this morning I saw him in only his boxers and I have never seen anything so fine in my entire life. His body's hairless, as if he shaves it or something and his fingernails are always short and neat. His hair, even when he just wakes up, is still almost always perfectly in place. I looked away from him as he opened the door and almost collided with Rinoa. I don't know what was worse, the fact that she had blonde roots that were three inches long, or the fact that she was trying to kiss me at the same time as she was trying to feel me up.
"Rinoa."
"Oh Squallie! I missed you so much!"
"Rinoa."
"Squallie, I know you miss me as much as I miss you."
"Rinoa."
"Squallie, you don't have to apologise, I know you were worked up about work."
"Rinoa."
"Squallie, I forgive you."
"Rinoa."
"Squallie, of course I'll take you back."
"Rinoa."
"Squallie, I love you."
"Rinoa, I'm gay."