Hey everyone! Sorry it took me so long to update. Here's my next story so hope u enjoy!
For those who can't remember my other stories of the Paige as the oldest series, here's the age:
Paige – 25
Prue – 24
Piper – 22
Phoebe – 18
Behind Blue Eyes
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters.
"If you can't accept that, leave." She said with tears in her eyes.
"I'm sorry. But I can't watch my daughters being killed by…whatever you're fighting against." His eyes were equally watery. Suddenly, small steps were heard from behind. He turned around. He wanted to smile but all he felt was the hot tears finally trickling down his cheeks. He must look awful right now. It was the only thought he had.
"Daddy?" The small figure on the steps let out quietly, a hint of confusion on her face.
"Hi sweetie." His deep voice answered as his arms made the ever so familiar move of picking up his girl into his arms.
"Are you crying?" She asked innocently as she touched his face with her still small hand.
"…No sweetheart. I'm not crying." He took all his strength together, wanting to stop the worry of his young daughter. "Where are your sisters?"
"Sleeping." She answered shortly. She didn't care about where they were right now. "But Mommy's crying." She indicated to her mother who had obvious tears streaming down her face. Her voice was so full of worry, of confusion as she sensed that something was terribly wrong. All he could do was to hug his daughter closer to him. "What's wrong?" Her voice was barely audible, her lips trembling.
"Oh baby. Believe me, I don't want to do this to you. But this is the only thing I can do right now." He then looked right into her piercing blue eyes. "I can't stay here, sweetie. I don't want to go either but I have no choice…"
"Dad, what are you talking about?" She whispered, not wanting them to hear her cry but she couldn't stop the single tear from making its way down her eye.
"Take good care of your sisters, ok? I know you can do it. And keep in mind that I'll always love you, no matter where I am." He planted his lips on her soft cheek, kissing away the tear. In the corner of his eye, his wife was already slumped down on the couch, her head in her hands. But he knew that as soon as he couldn't see her anymore, she would rise and stay strong for the ones he would leave behind. Slowly, he let his daughter down and started to walk towards the front door.
"Dad? Where are you going? Daddy! No, don't leave!" Panic rose in the tiny girl's body on seeing her father's big back turned to her. "Dad no! Come back! Don't leave us! Dad!" She wanted to run after him but her feet felt too heavy to move.
He felt the cold wood of the old door he used to push open so many times. He would now do it one last time. One last time, he pushed, one last time, he turned around, just to look into his daughter's beautiful blue orbs. They were clouded with tears. "I love you Prue….. Goodbye."
The door closed. His back was no longer to be seen.
"No! Daddy!" She jerked up panting, her forehead clammy with perspiration. She looked down to the light green sheets she had on the bed as the morning light shone gently through her window. Still breathing fast, she recalled that night. Anger rose in her. 'Why would I dream about that person now?' She thought to herself as she clentched her hands into fists, the covers trapped in them. But then she detected the wetness on her cheeks. Had she been crying in her sleep? 'Don't be ridiculous, Prue. He's the last person on this earth that can make you cry.' Again, her thoughts penetrated through her mind. Quickly wiping away the wetness, she made her way out of bed to get ready for a new day.
She let out a sigh for the upteenth time, the black liquid in the white mug staring back at her.
"Hey, you ok?" A soft voice rang out out of nowhere. Prue's head jerked up when she looked around, her eyes finally resting on her little sister who was standing in the kitchen doorway.
"Piper. How long have you been standing there?"
"Just a few seconds. Wasn't really keen on ripping you out of the world you've been in." She smiled a little before sitting down on a chair in front of her big sis. "So…Where were you? I mean your thoughts."
"Nowhere sis. I was just thinking about today being such a nice warm day and I have to go to work." Prue smiled back but Piper just looked at her, raising an eyebrow. Neither of them was about to say anything. But the short silence was once again cut by the younger one.
"Prue. For how long do you think I know you now? My whole life, maybe? I know when you're lying. Like now." Piper said with confidence in her voice. Prue looked away.
"It's really nothing. It's…" she felt herself getting more and more frustrated. "Piper, I just don't want to talk about him, ok?" She instantly put a hand to her mouth, a feeling of regret washing over her for letting her lips slip out the word'him'.
"You mean Andy?" Piper asked a little confused.
"NO! No, not Andy. Piper just forget it, it's nonsense to talk about this now." Exasperation was showing itself on her still tired face. Piper thought about what Prue had said for a little while. She then looked into the blue eyes again.
"It's Dad, right?"
"Don't call him that. He stopped being our father the moment he walked out that door." She said in a stern voice, pointing her finger towards the hallway, the front door.
"So I was right then. It was Dad you were talking about. What happened? Dream?" Full score. She thought to herself. Seeing Prue just looking back at her, Piper knew she was right. "Well, maybe it's because it's father's day in a few weeks."
"Piper stop it! Just…" Prue sighed as she realized she was shouting and continued in a calmer voice. "Just don't talk about it, ok? I have to go now." Prue stood up. Piper knew it was too early for Prue to leave for work but decided to leave her. Obviously she was upset about her dream. And she knew how hard it was to get her older sister to talk about their father.
Half an hour later, after Prue went out of the manor slamming the door, Piper was still in the kitchen reading a magazine when her younger sister walked in, still in her pjs.
"Heya Pheebs. Had a good sleep?" She asked not looking up.
"Uh…yeah." At the reluctant response, Piper looked up at her sister and raised an eyebrow. Phoebe was no morning person anyway but today she actually seemed down. 'Oh great. Another upset sister. Wonder if Paige's ok.' Piper thought of her other big sister who still seemed to be in bed. But there was no reproach in the words she thought. She just didn't like it when her sisters were hurt, sick or just upset. Sighing, she reached an arm out towards the youngest.
"Come here Pheebs." Her face remained the same as when she was reading the magazine, the routine of this action already stopping her from getting emotional herself.
"Piper.."
"No, come here." A small chuckle left her lips as Phoebe reluctantly made her way to her. When she was close enough, Piper pulled her baby sister down so she was sitting on her lap.
"Piper, I'm too old for this." Phoebe said slightly embarrassed.
"Oh stop talking nonsense Phoebe." She held her arms tight around her little sister's waist, locking her fingers and trapping her to prevent her from getting down. "You're never too old for this. Now. What's wrong?" She was so used to asking this. She knew exactly how to get everything out of her sisters. Each sister had to be treated differently to get her to open up and in Phoebe's case it was easier than with Prue. Piper just had to pull her onto her lap, look her in the eyes and ask what was wrong. It wouldn't take Phoebe very long until she talked. And indeed, Phoebe let out a sigh.
"It's…I don't know Pipe." She sighed again. Piper just let out a small laugh.
"You don't know? Let's see what we can do there. Maybe I can help you find out." She smiled. "You feel ok? I mean do you feel sick or something?"
"No." Phoebe shook her head.
"Hmm. Then… is everything ok at school?"
"Mhmm." The youngest nodded.
"Trouble with friends?"
"No."
"Did Prue say anything to you?"
"No." Phoebe answered with a small chuckle. As she mentioned Prue's name, Piper got an idea and sighed.
"Is it the date? Because it's father's day soon?" Suddenly, there was something in Phoebe's eyes that changed. She just looked at her older sister before her mouth opened.
"That…maybe. Maybe that's it." She answered sadly.
"Oh honey." Piper tightened her arms around Phoebe. Now she remembered. Phoebe always seemed off this time of year. There had always been times when the lack of a father figure, even if it was sometimes replaced by Prue more or less, was still making her upset after 17 years.
"I wish I knew him. I mean, all I've seen is some pictures that are at least 17 years old. Nearly as old as me." She said in a low voice.
"I know sweetie." Piper ran her hand over Phoebe's head. "I wish I knew him, too. I was five when he left. Don't have exactly lots of memories, either."
"Yeah." Phoebe muttered and laid her head on her big sister's shoulder as Piper placed her cheek on her forehead. The two remained silent for a few seconds, taking in the comfort they could give each other.
"Do you think Prue misses him?" Phoebe broke the silence as she asked innocently. Piper let out a sigh and kissed Phoebe on the forehead.
"I'm sure she does."
"But then…why is she always so mad when we talk about him? Why did you guys always tell me not to talk about Dad with Prue?" She sounded younger than she actually was.
"Honey, we told you this lots of times already. Because Dad is…Prue's…um..let's say, sensitive spot. She was the only one who saw him when he left. And it was her Dad last talked to."
"But actually she misses him?"
"I think so." Piper stroked her sister's still rahter messy hair.
"So actually she's sad that he's not here?" Piper laughed at the endless questions coming from her younger sister. Right now it seemed like they had gone back in time when Phoebe was five. Since then it always ended up in a similar way whenever they talked about their father, which actually rarely happened. Piper kissed Phoebe on the forehead again.
"Yeah sweetie, she must be."
"Can't even imagine that." The youngest quietly replied. Piper had to chuckle again.
"Pheebs, Prue's only human, too. She just…she likes to hide her emotions."
"Yeah I know… She's always so controlled. I wish I could do that." Piper then looked down at her and frowned.
"No, why?" She asked Phoebe. "You shouldn't do that. It's not good for you. I don't want to judge Prue now or critisize her or anything, but…you should never do what she's doing. You're doing it the way it should be. You know, like, just letting all your feelings out straight. You should keep that ability. Some people even envy you for that." Phoebe laughed at this.
"Nah, I don't know. Sometimes it gets me into trouble." Piper also giggled.
"True. But seriously, Phoebe. Don't bottle up your feelings like Prue does sometimes. It can be kinda…well, dangerous."
"Dangerous?" Phoebe frowned.
"Well you know, for yourself, like." She knew she didn't make herself really clear but she also knew that sometime Phoebe would understand what she meant.
"Uhh, okay." Phoebe just nodded and got off of Piper's lap again. "I'm starving right now." She then looked back at her older sister. "Thanks, Piper." Piper already knew what Phoebe meant.
"Welcome. You know you can come to me anytime, Pheebs."
"Yeah. But don't regret your words when I really do." She grinned.
"Oh come on. You know exactly that I wouldn't." Piper then stood up to make some pancakes for her sister that was in the kitchen and the one who was still upstairs. Somehow she sensed that there was a long day to come.
Prue walked down the corridor to her bosses office. She was still in a bad mood, the dream from earlier somehow left a bad aftertaste in an actually great morning. She was a bit too early for work. There was just one interview on her schedule today and that was shortly before noon. She didn't even know anything about who was to interview and where yet. But now her boss wanted her. 'Oh man I hope he doesn't want me to do another interview today. Out of all days why does it have to be today?' She sighed deeply but stopped in her tracks when she realized she was already standing in front of the dark wooden door. She knocked and entered as she got an answer.
"Good morning Prue." His deep voice rang out in the small office. 'Oh yeah, very good morning.' Prue thought to herself sarcastically.
"Good morning." She still replied with a forced smile on her face.
"Please, sit down." He indicated to the leather chairs in front of his desk. Seeing Prue on the chair, he leaned back in his own one and continued. "Now, I know you were scheduled for noon today."
"Yes, but I would like to have more information about who I have to see and where. Then I could prepare myself."
"Let me talk first, Prue. As I said, I know there was this interview. It was with a manager of a small company selling computers. He is on the good way to climb up to the higher positions in his area, meaning his company is going to be expanded. And now would have actually been a good time for us since he lives in New York but now he is in town here for a period of time. But as I said, would have been. He cancelled." His face clearly showed the disappointment. But Prue felt relief inside. If there was nothing else to do for her today, she could go home and relax a bit. She saw her boss throwing away a fax, probably the cancellation. "It's possible that he calls back and makes a new appointment but for now you can forget that interview. But," he didn't want his worker to think that she had off now, "there is another appointment I made for you. Be here this afternoon." He said while handing her a sheet of paper with information about the person and the location of the appointment.
"Thanks." Prue sighed. So there was no relaxing at home today. But until afternoon she had more than a bit of time left so she decided to go home for now and get ready for this job there.
Prue couldn't see the name on the fax that was now lying on top of all the other crumpled up papers in the waste basket….. V. Bennett.
"And it's really ok for you to help me here?" His chinese accent was evident as he spoke to the man walking around in his small restaurant, setting up the few chairs and tables.
"Of course. I know your waiter can't work for a couple of weeks. It's kinda hard to do that with a broken arm, hey?" A gentle smile spread across his face. "So I'm goint to help you. What are friends for?"
"Thank you so so much. You don't know how much you're helping me right now. I just thought that…well, usually you walk around in suits and all, and this is well…"
"Hey, don't underestimate me." He grinned. "Just because I work more often behind a desk doesn't mean I can't handle a bit of working as a waiter. Besides, I owe your brother a lot." He said, remembering the endless list of free takeaways he got in the chinese restaurant back in NY.
"Okay then. Thank you again. That's such a nice coincidence that you're back when I need someone to help me out. I don't know what I'd do without you, Victor." He smiled at his friend.
"Table three, Paige."
"Ok." She took the plates from her little sister's hands. It was still noon but Paige had nothing to do today. She had gotten out of bed late, knowing that there was no appointment scheduled for today and all reports of the latest cases were done. She she decided to help her sister at Quake, which was pretty crowded at this time of day due to lunch breaks people had.
"Oh wait I forgot to give you the…Pheebs! Can you take this to Paige? I forgot to give her the drinks." Piper handed her little sister two filled glasses on a tray.
"Alright boss." Phoebe grinned and carefully took the tray out of Piper's hands. She had finished the only classes she had for today already early in the morning and as Paige didn't have anything to do for her, she decided to join her in helping her other big sister. She actually got paid for it. Even if she had refused to take the money at first since Piper wasn't the manager there and it was her salary, her money, she was persuaded sometime to just take it and see it as something like a reward for being so helpful. Piper obviously knew that college students just needed some money.
The girls worked and worked. After what seemed like an eternity, it was finally lunch break for them as well.
"Jeez that's one hell of an exhausting job. I don't exactly envy the waiters and waitresses that have to do this every day." Paige said in a tired voice as she slumped down in the front seat of Piper's car.
"Well didn't you have a job as one when you were visiting college or something?" Piper asked as she started the engine. Even if they were as close as sisters could possibly be, it was still a fact that Paige had been gone for about six years and some not very important things were left unknown.
"I did. But that was ages ago. I barely remember how tired I always used to be after that. Speaking of college student, what about you Pheebs, you ok?" She glanced at her sister in the back.
"Yup. I didn't have many classes today and there was no appointment or anything, either, so why should I be tired already?" She replied laughing.
"Really? But I got up later than you, didn't even have ANY classes and I'm still tired."
"Dat's coz you're getting too old for this, Paige." Phoebe showed her oldest sister a cheeky grin.
"What you little…!"
"Give it up, Paige." Piper laughed, her eyes not leaving the street in front of her, "She's nothing but a bundle of energy. It's got nothing to do with your age, sweetie. That girl's gonna be able to do this when she's got her own grandchildren."
"What's THAT supposed to mean, Pipe?" Phoebe's voice was heard.
"Nothing honey. What do you guys want for lunch?" She was clever and changed the subject to one of food.
"Ohh I want spaghetti bolognese." As expected, the youngest answered first.
"Alright." Piper laughed at her sister's quick answer. "Than we have to go buy some ground meat."
"Ok. We can stop off the grocery store then. I wanna buy some coke, anyway."
"Pheebs stop drinking that stuff continuously. It's bad for your teeth."
"God Paige!" Phoebe laughed. "How old do you think I am? And I don't drink it continuously. It just keeps me awake for studying and it's a nice change to coffee." She said looking out of the window and seeing the parking lot of the market.
"You know, you should study less and sleep more. Even you are gonna get sick if you go on like this." Piper glanced into the rear-view mirror before she parked the car.
"Don't worry, I'll stop when I think it's too much." The sisters talked while getting out of the car and into the store except for Paige who decided to stay in the car and read a magazine while waiting.
"Ok Pheebs you go get your own stuff and I'll get the meat." Once inside, Piper told her little sister and they split up.
Phoebe walked along the endless row of beer, fanta, sprite and water until she found the coke. She grabbed it and headed towards the meat section to Piper. She was so fast in her tracks that she didn't even realize the man suddenly crossing her way. It was already too late when she collided with him. A few packages of various instant food were already lying on the floor.
"Oh damn. I'm so sorry sir." Phoebe quickly crouched down and started picking up the packages.
"It's okay, leave that to me." Phoebe was surprised when his laugh and gentle voice rang out. It carried something. She couldn't point it out but there was something that made her look up at the man who was now also kneeling down in front of her, picking up his things. Her hands stopped moving when she saw his face. It was…no, it couldn't be. Noticing that the girl's hands stopped moving, he looked up as well, right into the incredibly deep brown eyes that were staring back at him.
"Um, are you ok?" He asked as the one in front of him seemed to be frozen. Phoebe sucked in a breath when the man looked up. She met his eyes. The chocolate brown orbs, somehow matching to the slightly grey hair. Words penetrated her mind. Words she remembered from a long long time ago when she was little. She remembered Paige's young voice when she spoke to her about a topic that was rarely talked about. 'You got Daddy's eyes, Pheebs.'
"Hey Miss, you ok?" Phoebe felt the gentle touch on her shoulder and came to her senses again.
"Huh? Uh, yeah….there." She handed him the last package from the floor.
"Thank you. And sorry again for being so clumsy." He smiled and got up.
Phoebe was left shocked. Was it really the same person she knew only from pictures? Was it really the one she talked about this morning? Was it really…
"Daddy…" The words left her lips in a whisper. She had looked through the photographs a million times. This man looked a little different, he looked older, but it would be strange if he didn't. It was 17 years ago she last saw him. But he was supposed to be living in New York, right? Why was he here? But then she noticed something. 'He didn't recognize me…' But it was normal he wouldn't. How should he know it was his youngest daughter he ran into when he knew her only a little more than a year, as a baby. Still, it hurt. It was too much of a shock she didn't even try to get up. It was then Piper rounded the corner, carrying meat and vegetables in a basket. She was shocked when she saw her sister sitting there on the floor.
"Phoebe!" She rushed to her quickly. "Honey what's the matter? Why are you sitting here? Are you ok?" Piper's concerned voice made Phoebe snap out of it again.
"Wha..Piper. Uh…" She looked around and stood up quickly when she realized she was still in a sitting position.
"Pheebs are you alright? You look a little pale."
"Yeah, I'm ok. Sorry Piper, I just dropped the coke so that's why I was sitting. Didn't mean to scare you." She forced a smile to stop her older sister from worrying. Piper frowned but then she took her sister's hand and headed towards the checkout.
"Let's go then, Paige's waiting."
Should she tell her sisters? Phoebe's head was full of the images from what happened in the market. The drive back home was now quieter than before. Now and then, Piper glanced into the rear-view mirror to look at her sister who in turn just seemed to stare out of the window. She didn't thinik Paige even registered this until the oldest spoke.
"So you are tired after all, Pheebs. I never had you so quiet in the car." She laughed but the youngest didn't react. "Phoebe?"
"Huh? Did you say anything, Paige?" Now she looked up.
"I said you're so quiet. Everything ok?"
"Oh, yeah, sure. Guess I am tired after all." She let out a small laugh. She didn't know herself why she couldn't come out straight with the truth. Maybe because her father was a 'forbidden' topic as long as she could think and that made it hard to talk about him. Maybe she was still unsure if it was really her father. Maybe she knew somewhere that this was the only coincidence to find herself under the same roof as him, so she didn't want her sisters to hope for something that was out of reach, let alone cause a fight by mentioning it in front of Prue. 'Prue…How would yo have reacted?' She thought to herself as her big sister's name popped up in her head. This was a side of Prue the youngest didn't know at all. She hardly ever lost a word about the man who left them so many years ago. She remembered that once Prue even called him a 'dead man'. 'She must hate him a lot.' Phoebe thought to herself. But it wasn't clear to her why. Paige was also there and she wasn't as sensitive. Of course, it wasn't her biological father but he still raised her for more than 8 years. 'But what if…what if she doesn't care about him anymore? She's not lost the memories of her adoptive father even if they were fake. She did have a father in her life. But then again, what does she think about Dad?' Phoebe let out a long sigh as every thought in her head lead to a question mark.
Prue heard the front door open. She knew her sisters were at Quake, the oldest and youngest helping Piper.
"Prue? Are you home?" Piper called out. She had seen Prue's car in the driveway and now her purse was also lying next to the keys.
"Hey guys." Prue answered as she came out of the kitchen and sat down in the living room next to Phoebe.
"I thought you had an interview in about…actually now." Paige looked at her little sister after glancing at the clock.
"He cancelled." She replied simply. The bad mood from earlier was already as good as gone. She had relaxed enough having read in a book in the gentle sun outside with a nice cool drink right next to her. "But I have to leave in a couple of hours for a next appointment."
"Aw that sucks." Piper looked at her older sister with sympathy as she sat down in a chair.
Phoebe just watched as Prue sat next to her and talked. 'I wonder what you feel on father's day. Do you really hate him? Piper said you miss him, too and I belive that, too…I think. You're so unpredictable and unreadable….' Phoebe wanted to say these things aloud but knew she would never do it. But her older sister was unreadable. She realized that no matter how carefully she studied her features, she couldn't even grasp a tiny bit of her deepest feelings. Of course she knew when her sister was happy or sad or angry, but there were so many times she didn't know what was in her head at all. And a talk about her Dad was one of those times. She could only feel the anger on the surface of Prue's feelings. 'But is that all you feel?' Phoebe's thoughts continued and so did her staring. Two ice blue orbs suddenly turned towards her and broke through her trance.
"Hey. What is it? Anything you wanna tell me squirt?" Phoebe noticed Prue was talking to her. If she just knew how much she wanted to talk to her. Just the two of them.
"Um, no." A quiet answer slipped out of her lips.
"But then why were you staring at me like that?" Prue frowned but at the same time felt the tug on her lips.
"Oh, uhh…I just...erm, I guess I just like watching you talk?" She could have smacked herself for the more than stupid answer. Prue's expression stayed the same way.
"….Ok honey, that's…that's really sweet and all but…you're scaring me a bit."
"Oh Prue just forget that. I…never mind, I have to go now." With that, she quickly headed upstairs. The door to her room fell shut.
"Ok what's wrong with her now?" A confused Prue asked her equally confused sisters who just shrugged their shoulders.
The wooden door closed behind her. Phoebe flung herself onto the mattress. 'Why can't I just open my damn mouth and come out with the truth?' She turned her head to the side and pressed her cheek deeper into the softness of the pillow. It was then a small red book caught her eyes. She knew what it was and reached out. The coloured photographs welcomed her as she opened it. It started with pictures of herself shortly after when she was born. A single tear rolled down her cheek when she ran her finger over the picture, over the figure of a woman holding the newborn protectively to her chest.
"Mom…Why did you have to go…" She sighed and continued to look through the album. Her hands stopped flipping the pages when she spotted another figure. This time it was one of a man. She studied the picture carefully. 'These eyes…' They were the same eyes she had seen earlier today. The eyes are the only parts of a human body that don't change, at least not physically. 'So it was him then…there's no doubt anymore…' Phoebe thought. The excuse that maybe he wasn't her father didn't exist for her anymore. The gentle breeze coming from her open window caressed her hair and skin. It soothed the slight pounding in her head that started to bother her. Phoebe dropped the album to the side of her bed and pressed her forehead into the pillow. She didn't register the time passing as she slowly drifted off to sleep.
Her eyes peeled open to a shaking on her shoulder.
"Pheebs, hey. Wake up sweetie, dinner's ready." The soft voice was unmistakable. Piper. The words repeated themselves in her mind until she suddenly jerked up.
"Dinner! What happened to lunch?" Phoebe said a little shocked to see the room darker than when she fell asleep.
"Lunch was ages ago, honey. I'm sorry I didn't wake you but you seemed so tired and I knew you needed sleep so Paige and I went back to Quake alone after lunch and when we came home again, you were still sleeping. Are you sure you're feeling ok?" The last part made her vocie sound full of concern.
"Yeah I am. But still I can't believe I slept that long. How am I supposed to go to sleep tonight?" Phoebe rubbed her eyes to wake up properly.
"You just lie down and close your eyes. It usually works." Piper laughed.
"Not when you've slept like five hours during daytime already." She then slowly remembered what had happened earlier today and was instantly wrapped by an uncomfortable feeling. 'I have to tell them…' She thought kept coming.
"Phoebe?" Piper realized that her little sister seemed to be somewhere else and nudged her lightly.
"What? Oh, dinner, yeah." Ignoring Piper's frown, the youngest crept out of bed and made her way downstairs.
The clicking sound of forks on the plates was the only thing that was heard for the five long minutes since dinner started. Phoebe was still thinking about how to tell her sisters, Piper was somewhat worried about the youngest being so quiet, Prue was tired out after her interview with an absolute jerk and Paige was just observing her little sisters as they sat in silence. But not for too long.
"Ok can anyone tell me what's wrong here? When was the last time we've been this quiet at table?" The oldest looked at the rest.
"Nothing's wrong, Paige. I'm just soo tired. I haven't told you about that guy I had to interview today, have I?" Prue answered.
"No, you haven't. What about him?" Paige asked curiously, glad that one sister decided to speak.
Phoebe just watched her sisters talk about Prue's job. But inside, she was searching for a way for her confession to come out. As if on cue, silence greeted her again as Prue finished her story. Phoebe sighed. Maybe she should get this on more slowly.
"Um, guys? Can I ask you something?" Her voice was filled with insecurity.
"Sure honey. What?" Paige smiled at her youngest sister.
"I…I wanted to ask you about…um… Well, what was Dad like?" Maybe that was still too fast. She saw Paige's surprised face and Piper's shocked face. But she couldn't see what Prue was thinking since there was no expression on her face and her eyes were turned away from her.
"What's with the sudden question? And don't you know it already? We've told you like a million times." Paige laughed. Phoebe then felt her shin being kicked lightly. She looked towards Piper and saw her 'I told you not to talk about him when Prue's here' look. She ignored it and turned to the oldest again.
"Well, I still wanna hear it. Did you get along well with him?" Paige smiled again. 'I should humor her. It's only this time of year.' She thought to herself.
"Yeah. I mean I never really had a huge fight with him. Ok I was a kid, what's there to fight about sriously. But you could say that he was a pretty cool Dad."
"Oh please." Prue's sarcastic laugh could be heard even if her voice was low. Phoebe looked at Prue but her oldest sister put a hand onto her cheek, making her turn to her again. She frowned. 'Are you trying to avoid something, Paige?' She couldn't voice the thought.
"He used to play with us by spinning each of us around in his arms until we felt totally dizzy." Paige just continued, smiling when she remembered the old days.
"Yeah, and it makes me sick now that you're talking about him." Prue spat out and got up from her chair, its legs making an eerie sound as they screeched against the floor.
"Prue wait, I…" Phoebe wanted to talk to Prue as well but again, she failed as Paige cut her off, her arms preventing her from going after her big sister.
"Phoebe no. Leave her alone." Paige said in a sad tone, pulling Phoebe closer to her.
"But…" Phoebe glanced up at her, wanting to object.
"No. Come on, sit back down and eat up. I'll tell you about Dad later on." She then went out of the room after her little sister, leaving the two youngest in the dining room.
"Phoebe why did you do that?" Piper just asked her baby sis, a little confused.
"I…I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset her like this but…I just don't like it that she shuts up completely as soon as I talk about Dad. I thought maybe today…"
"Pheebs." Piper sighed loudly, "Be it today or next year or ten years later, I don't think anything's going to change her attitude towards that topic." Phoebe bit on her lower lip. 'You have no idea, Piper. If she met him…' But then again, would that change anything? And how could she already assume that they, let alone Prue would meet her father? "Besides," Piper continued, "you can't just come out with such a question just because you 'don't like' Prue being quiet about it. You have to respect that, okay?" Despite the warning, Piper's voice remained gentle.
"I'm sorry, Piper. I just wanted to…" She felt her older sisters hands on her own.
"I know honey. You wanted get to know more about Dad. That's ok but don't expect Prue to say much. Leave her alone next time, hmm?" Piper smiled at her youngest sister. Phoebe merely nodded. 'You're wrong Piper, it's not Dad I want to get to know more about. Well that, too but mainly it's Prue…' But her thoughts remained as what they were. Simple thoughts.
She felt the fresh air on her. It was a bit cooler already, the hot sun from earlier was on its way to swap places with the moon. But her head wasn't as clear as the air around her. She sat down on the lawn, hugging her knees lightly. A disturbing feeling of anger started to lay itself on her chest. It was then she heard the back door open and close again, the steps approaching. She felt the gentle arms being quietly wrapped around her from behind. Prue leaned back in the warm embrace, resting the back of her head on her big sister's shoulder.
"Hey." Paige broke the silence as she laid her cheek on top of Prue's head.
"Hey." Prue smiled a little.
"You ok?" Paige's voice was soft and kept the comfortable, calm air around them.
"Yeah…" Prue let out a little sigh.
"Prue…Talk to me, honey. What are you feeling?" Prue tilted her head back to look at her older sister for a second but then looked back at the lawn in front of her again.
"Anger…"
"Towards who?" Paige knew the answer but she still wanted her sister to say it herself.
"Victor…" She said under her breath.
"I'm sorry, I guess I talked too much, hey?" Paige let out a small chuckle.
"Not your fault. But why did Phoebe do that?" Prue shook her head slightly.
"She wanted to talk about him, sweetie." The oldest sighed, "It's…well, you know her."
"That I do. And I know she has no idea who she's talking about. I just don't know why she came up with that now. All of a sudden."
"I don't know either. But she didn't mean to hurt you, Prue. You know that, right? She just…she doesn't really understand why it's so hard for you to talk about him. She sees me and thinks that if I can deal with it you should also be able to do it."
"What, so you think I can't deal with it? That I'm too weak? Paige, she doesn't hurt me with that. This is the last thing that would hurt me." She said firmly.
"Oh honey, I didn't say you were weak. And it's totally fine if you feel hurt. Don't try to deny it now, I'm your big sis, you don't have to be strong in front of me." At this, Prue let out a sigh.
"Oh man, am I that readable?" Paige chuckled in response.
"Well, obviously not in front of Phoebe. That's probably the reason she didn't really think about your feelings. You don't talk to her like you do to me or Piper."
"No I don't. It shouldn't be that way. And if she really wants to know more about Victor, she has you to tell her…. Actually, why don't you get angry then?" Paige chuckled again and gave her little sister a kiss on the forehead. Sometimes Prue sounded just as young as Phoebe.
"Maybe now it's cause I have some memories of a Dad. A good Dad who's always been there for me. Even if those memories aren't real, they're still there and make me feel better, you know? And before…I don't know. I didn't know then that he wasn't my biological father. So that's not the reason…" She quieted down to think about an answer. But then she shook her head. "I don't know, Prue. Honestly."
"That's ok…. Paige?"
"Yeah?"
"Thanks for doing this."
"Doing what?" Paige smiled as she looked down at her sister.
"This. Talking to me and stuff…"
"And stuff?" The oldest laughed but then ran a hand over Prue's head. "It's ok Prue, I know what you mean. And you're welcome. You can't always be the one to give. Don't forget to take, too. Now let's go inside, ok? My ass is freezing."
"Good idea, mine too." Prue laughed and got up.
"Prue." She turned around again as she was called. "Love you." Paige drew her sister in a hug.
"Yeah…same here." Prue's arms tightened around Paige as she returned the hug.
Meanwhile the youngest lay on her bed thinking again. 'Damn I totally screwed up. I don't know how I'm supposed to tell them. I can't just say 'hey guys, guess who I met? Daddy!' I have to come up with a way to bring the idea of meeting him closer to them. Not like the chance's high that they do but… I can't keep this a secret, can I? No, that wouldn't be fair.' The inner monolog continued in her head.
Morning came way too quickly for the Halliwell sisters. One of them felt the gentle shaking on her shoulder.
"Aaargh what?" She said groggily, a little pissed that somebody was trying to pull her out of her 7th heaven.
"Paige, it's half seven. Get up." Piper giggled at the site of her oldest sister. She didn't get to see this Paige a lot, with eyes half closed and hair messy, her voice hoarse.
"Aw I can't believe I have to go to work now. Can't believe they called me last night…stupid emergency." Piper laughed at this again. She knew Paige wanted to sleep longer today but her boss had unexpectedly called her last night and told her that a worker called in sick and on top of that, his reports due today vanished as the computer was infected with a virus and now they needed as many people as possible who could finish his reports. Unfortunately, Paige had been the one who worked on most of the same cases as the worker so she had to stopp by earlier.
"You should see Pheebs. She looks like a zombie right now." Piper shook her head chuckling. The incident at the dinner table yesterday seemed to be forgotten already as she remembered her little sister bumping into her in the hallway still half asleep, mumbling something about having to help Paige. Obviously she hadn't really gotten much sleep since she had slept so much already at daytime and couldn't sleep at night. "I swear that girl would of fallen down the stairs if I hadn't guided her down there. I can't believe she wants to help you when she has no classes today and could have stayed in bed. Where's the Phoebe I used to know like the one before she met you at the social services?" Piper continued to laugh, watching her big sister slowly getting out of bed.
"Well, that's just my baby girl. Always ready to help her big sis." Paige grinned. "But seriously now, if she's that tired she can stay here. I can manage it alone, too."
"Try and tell her that. I'll give you hundred bucks if you get her to stay here."
"That stubborn, hey?" Paige snickered.
"Yup."
"It's ok. Then I'll take her and see if she falls asleep in my office. I have a couch there."
"Oh you know what? I so envy you for that office of yours. Wish I had that." She glared at her big sister playfully.
"Sometime you will, squirt." Paige ruffled Piper's hair. The daily chitchat continued, both sisters not knowing that the youngest was still thinking about something serious, something big.
The youngest Halliwell could be seen sitting in the kitchen with her forehead resting on the table. 'Ok first I have to apologize to Prue, then I have to find out more about Dad on the web maybe, then I have to locate him here, then I have to think about how to tell my sisters, then I have to….ohh god what if I find him? What am I gonna say? Hi, you probably won't recognize me but I'm your daughter….Hi, I'm Phoebe Halliwell. Yes, I am the person you think I am….Hello, Mr. Bennett. Actually I have to call you Daddy…..Aaaarrgh!' Phoebe just banged her head lightly on the table a few times as the lack of sleep stopped her from getting proper thoughts into her head. The dishes on the table shook with a clinking noise.
Prue heard the weird noises when she was about to enter the kitchen and she soon saw why.
"Whoa, easy Pheebs. Whatever it is, it's not your head's fault." Phoebe jumped as suddenly she heard her older sisters voice. And indeed, there was Prue sitting down across from her, chuckling a little.
"Oh, Prue. Erm, I…uhh.."
"Morning to you too, Pheebs." Prue laughed but she already suspected what Phoebe wanted to say.
"M..morning. Prue…" Phoebe let out a breath and continued. "I'm sorry about yesterday. I was being…"
"It's ok already. You were being curious, that's all. Let's just forget about it, ok?"
"Yeah ok." Phoebe accepted but she knew that sometime she had to do it again, to confront Prue again.
"Good. So…I heard you're gonna help Paige today?"
"Um, yeah. She's got lots of stuff to do so since I don't have any classes today I'll help her where I can." Prue raised an eyebrow.
"You sure you're my sister?" Phoebe felt the tug on her lips on hearing this. She playfully threw a grape at her older sister in response.
"Prue I'm not the screw up you used to know anymore." They both smiled.
"Ok then." Prue's expression turned to one of concern for a moment. "But keep it controlled, ok? You already look tired enough, so no pushing yourself, hear me?"
"Yes mom."
"Why do you look so tired anyway? Bad night?"
"Oh you know, I kept thinking about…" She was about to put a hand to her lips for nearly telling everything when Prue turned around. She then saw why and was grateful for her sisters who were just walking into the kitchen.
"Morning sisters." Piper greeted and was instantly standing in front of the fry pan to make some scrambled eggs while Paige sat down next to the youngest. Seeing her yawn, she sweetly ran the back of her fingers over Phoebe's cheek.
"You really don't have to come with me, Pheebs. It's good enough that you showed me your will. Stay here and go back to bed, honey."
"Nah it's alright Paige, I'm not tired." That was a total lie but she really wanted to help her sister. But above all, she needed her office to make some good research on the one person that disappeared out of hers and her sisters' lives years ago.
Once at the office, everything wasn't going as well as Phoebe wished it would. It was already close to noon and there was still so much to do, one report was written after another, her eyes were turning red from rereading the texts on the screen and after they were printed over and over again. There was hardly any time for her to refresh herself in the bathroom. So how was she supposed to do a research then? Rubbing her tired eyes for the millionth time, she turned back to her computer screen. It was then she heard the voice from the doorway.
"What are you workin' on there, Phoebe?" A tired looking Paige approached her worker and sister.
"O' Neils" Phoebe replied in a hoarse voice.
"Ok, let me finish that. I know which case it is."
"No it's fine Paige. You finish yours."
"I am finished. Now get up and go get some fresh air. You look terrible." She easily dragged her sister up, forcing her to stand.
"Gee thanks Paige. You don't look much better yourself."
"But my eyes aren't turning red yet. Phoebe, just listen to your boss now and get us some luch. Go on." She gave her youngest sister's butt a light slap and sat down on the chair in front of the screen.
"Paige…" Phoebe was still standing on the same spot.
"Jeez Phoebe, would you just move?" Paige said a little grumpily, "There's some money in my purse, you know where it is. And there's a chinese restaurant just down the street. Get us something nice, ok?"
"Ok, ok. I'm going already." Phoebe put her hands up in defence. She had rarely seen her older sister in a bad mood, let alone edgy mood. But that should be normal. Who would be happy about being forced to work, pressed for time this much? She knew Paige hadn't have a break yet, either. Phoebe wouldn't be as brave or rather as silly to argue with a grumpy Paige. So she made her way out of the office and down the stairs, out of the building.
The fresh air was really doing her good. The fresh oxygen seemed to be exactly what she needed now. Her back was already hurting from sitting so much and she was more than glad to get the chance to walk now. But it wasn't really a long walk as the yellow plate with red chinese letters jumped into her eyes.
"Hm. Never noticed this one before…" She mumbled to herself as she walked into the small restaurant. It might have been small but it was a really pretty and well-decorated place, and the air-conditioning soothed the people's tired minds. But it seemed to be too early for lunchtime yet for the place was quite empty. Phoebe only spotted two guests sitting at one table.
"May I help you?" A deep but gentle voice made Phoebe turn around in an instant. But what she saw next knocked the air out of her. 'There goes my research…' She didn't even notice her mouth stayed open. Coincidence? Since they discovered their secret, the word had carried a different meaning to all four sisters. And now the word popped up in her head again. Right in front of her was the very man she had seen at the grocery store yesterday, the man she should have been able to see every day in her life. It was unmistakably the figure of her long lost father. "…k? Miss?" Phoebe regained her composure quickly as she heard the voice again.
"Are you ok, Miss? Can I help you?" He looked at the girl in front of him with a concerned expression. She looked tired and somehow…shocked. "I don't want to be rude now, don't get this wrong but…you don't look too good. Are you alright?" He couldn't shake of the feeling that the young woman seemed familiar to him.
"Yes. Sorry, yes, I'm ok." Phoebe quickly ordered some noodles and sat down on a chair. But her eyes remained fixed on the man as he walked to the counter and came back with a glass of water.
"There." He set the glass in front of the girl. "You still look pale, it's really warm outside. I'm sure this will do you good." He smiled.
"Th…thank you." Phoebe just took in the sight before her. His mouth as it moved, his hands, his grey black hair, his deep brown eyes. Everything seemed so fascinating to her and yet so….unreal.
"Excuse me, this might sound strange but…have we met before?" He showed a sheepish smile. Phoebe felt a sudden pain in her heart. 'Stop being ridiculous, Phoebe. How can he possibly remember you after 17 years?' But it still made her gaze fall to her hands. "Oh, I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have said that. I'm over there if you need me, ok?" He stood up to go to the counter.
"No!" Phoebe was surprised herself at the sudden yell and laughed a little in embarrassment. "No, it's ok. I…We met at the grocery store yesterday." She said. The sadness in her voice wasn't noticed by him as his face lit up.
"Ohh right! My memory is so bad. But now I remember you. Thanks for helping me again."
"No problem. I was the one who ran into you." She smiled. It was of course sad that he didn't recognize her but it still felt overwhelming to talk to him just like that. She silently wished the order would never come. "So…you're working here?"
"No, well, now I do but it's just for a short time. I live in NY actually and I'm here because of some business I have to take care of."
"Business…" Phoebe's heart sunk again. She had still had a little hope left that he was here to meet them, but now it was gone.
"And you, Miss…"
"You can call me Phoebe." She said, hoping that something in his eyes would change. But it never did.
"Phoebe. A beautiful name. I'm Victor." 'I know…You're Daddy…' Phoebe was so close to tears she wasn't sure if she could speake now. But somehow she found her voice again.
"Nice to meet you…Victor." The name was a huge weight on her tounge. How she wished to just call him Dad. But she didn't want to jeopardize anything. It was already such a luck that she was able to talk to him like this.
"So you're here a lot of times?" Victor asked.
"Umm, no. Actually it's the first time I'm in this restaurant. But if you mean this area, yes. I work at the social services right down the street. Well, I'm still a college student but somehow I have to earn some money right?"
"Yeah I remember my time as a student. But you should be careful not to work too hard. Your health is more important than anything. Your parents will worry." 'Yeah…if you're worrying about me right now you're right.' Phoebe was getting frustrated that she couldn't voice more than half of her thoughts.
"Uhh, I live with my sisters." She mererly answered.
"Then your sisters will worry. Take it easy, ok?" The youngest smiled at him. He seemed to be so caring and kind. Not like Prue described him. Not like that at all.
"I will. Thank you." Just then, another man called out from the kitchen.
"Oh. Your order." Victor quickly stood up and walked to the counter again. With a plastic bag in his hand he returned. After paying, Phoebe went towards the exit.
"I guess I'll see you again then." She gave him a smile.
"Come whenever you like. It'll do my friend good if some guests fill this room." He smiled back and waved his hand quickly before turning around to work again.
She didn't know how many times she had let out a sigh on the way back to her office. She wanted to jump up in happiness and cry her eyes out at the same time. Now she knew her Dad. But he didn't know her. He had been so close but at the same time so far away from her. Knocking shortly on the door to Paige's office, she entered.
"Hey. Found the restaurant?" The oldest seemed to be in a better mood and more relaxed already.
"Yeah. Here you go." Phoebe set the food on the glass table at the window and sat down.
"Hey, sorry for earlier. Didn't mean to be so pissed." Paige smiled at her little sis.
"It's ok. How far did you get?" Phoebe's voice lacked in the usual energy but Paige guessed it was because she didn't get much sleep so she just continued to talk while she started on her food.
"Actually I'm as good as finished. Just a few checkups and we can go home." She grinned triumphantly but then she noticed something and laid down her chopsticks. "Why aren't you eating, Pheebs?"
"I'm not really hungry." Phoebe showed her big sister a small smile.
"Honey you haven't eaten all day now except for that little bit of eggs and toast this morning. You're not getting sick, are you?" She asked with concern.
"No, I'm ok. Really. I'm just tired, that's all."
"Well then go lie down a bit, use the couch, it's pretty comfy. I'll wake you up when I'm finished." She quickly ushered her youngest sister to the black leather couch. Phoebe didn't object as all she wanted to do was block all the thoughts out of her mind. And it worked as darkness welcomed her.
The door to the Halliwell Manor opened and two figures walked in.
"Hey you two. How was work?" A familiar voice greeted them from the family room.
"Exhausting." A very tired looking Paige slumped down on the chair across Prue, leaning back her head on the back of it.
"So you finished everything for them?"
"Yeah. And I so better get rewarded for this. Took me longer than I thought in the end." She talked on with her eyes closed.
"Hi Prue." Another voice made Prue look to her side.
"Hey Pheebs." She smiled at her youngest sibling.
"I'll get myself some cool soda or something. You guys want some?" She asked as she stepped towards the kitchen door.
"Thanks that'd be good, hun. Don't forget the ice cubes." Prue held up a warning finger.
"Thanks but I'll pass. I won't be sitting here for long since there's a bed upstairs waiting for me to get in." Paige's eyes remained shut, making Prue chuckle.
"Yeah you really need some sleep. You look like it."
"What's that supposed to mean, huh?" Despite the lack of strength, she managed to throw a pillow at her little sister.
"Nothing Paige. Anyway, how come Phoebe doesn't collapse like you?"
"She slept a few hours in my office and in the car as well. Otherwise she'd seriously have collapsed in this heat." True. It was getting hotter and hotter each day.
"Well maybe you should go lie down before you really collapse on me."
"That's such a good idea." Paige got up stretching her stiff body and slowly dragged herself up to her room.
"Soda." Prue heard the voice and turned around to see Phoebe standing there with two cool drinks in her hands.
"Thanks, kiddo." She took the glass from her little sister and watched as the latter sat down in a chair across from her. "So how was work?"
"Okay I guess." Phoebe replied in a quiet voice. Inside, the scenes kept playing over and over again. Seeing her dad for practically the first time, talking to him. And the sad feeling of him not recognizing her and herself not being able to tell him who she was remained. But she also remembered how nice and kind he was. Never in her life had she had the chance to look at her father as a person, an individual character. All she got to hear was about blurry memories of a daddy, seen by kids' eyes. The only thing about character traits she had heard was probably when Prue and Grams talked about him when it was inevitable. And the things which were said had certaily not been very positive. Phoebe looked at her older sister sitting across from her, taking a sip from her drink.
"Could you help Paige a lot? What did you do?" Prue talked on not seeing the tidal wave of thoughts and emotions inside her sister's head.
"The same as Paige. Writing reports, rereading stuff…." Now the lack of energy in her voice started to show itself, making Prue frown.
"Pheebs? ……Is something wrong?" The frown didn't disappear as she asked.
"What? Um, no. I'm good." But the reply still lacked in confidence. 'What am I doing? If I want to talk to her, I have to be more honest. At least a little more.' She thought.
"Honestly?" With this, Prue gave her the chance to have another go.
"Uhh…no." She saw her sister's face immeadiately turn into one of concern and quickly added, "Well, physically, yes and, um, actually I'm ok but…" 'Oh man what am I saying?' Phoebe nervously started to play with her nails, "there's just…something I wanna…like..talk to you about?" She didn't have the intention to tell her she had met her father. She just wanted to start a conversation about him, a conversation she could never have with Prue, making her curious to no end. But at the same time, there was something she had never really felt with her sisters. She was starting to get scared.
"Okay. About what?" Prue looked at her ready to chase anything away that was bothering her little sis but soon she noticed Phoebe looked a little nervous. "It's ok Pheebs, talk to me. Whatever it is, I'm sure I can help you." A reassuring smile spread across her face.
"Promise me…promise me not to get up and leave?" Phoebe heard the confused laugh escaping her older sister's lips.
"Huh? I don't know why you think I'd do that but if it makes you feel better, I promise."
"Okay. It's….it's about d..Dad." Despite the promise, Phoebe expected Prue to jump up, glare at her and leave the room in an instant. But everything remained nothing but quiet. Yet.
Prue bit on her lip as soon as the last word rang in the room and repeating itself in her head. So this was why Phoebe had her making such a promise. And she had to fight hard not to stand up and go away. She sighed in frustration.
"As you see Phoebe I'm still here and I won't get up and leave. But why…just why the hell do you have to do something I specifically asked you not to do?" She said under her breath, feeling the anger rising. Phoebe couldn't find her usual confidence she had whenever a fight was on its way. Whatever the situation was, she always had something to say when she and Prue fought. But this time it seemed to be a bit different.
"I…Prue, I just want to talk to you, you…you've always avoided this."
"You're damn right Phoebe!" Phoebe jerked when Prue suddenly started to yell. "People tend to do that when they want to forget about something and it certainly isn't any easier when their little sisters can't keep their mouths shut!" She was yelling, but she was sitting tight on the same spot, keeping her promise.
"B..but why do you want to for..forget about him? H..he's nice man..?" Her voice was trembling slightly and the words came out in a stutter.
The sarcastic laughter rang out in the room.
"A…a nice man..? You don't mean that now, do you?" Prue's eyes were filled with fury. Phoebe didn't know if it was directed at her or at their dad.
"I, I, I…I do. He's p..polite and a caring per…"
"Shut the hell up!" Prue screamed and cut her sister off. The first tears were already glistening in Phoebe's eyes. Tears of frustration that she couldn't reach her older sister, tears that came as she started to feel somehow rejected by her, as for the first time Prue intimidated her. But those tears wouldn't stop an enraged Prue. "Just how many times do you expect me to tell you this until you listen to me!"
"I…" Now Phoebe was visibly trembling.
"Besides, how would you know? How can you know what kind of a person he was? Don't talk as if you knew him!"
"Prue.." And finally she cried, "why did you say that..?"
"You should have never started this Phoebe." Her voice was cold and her features showed anger. Prue watched as this time it was Phoebe who got up and left the room. The footsteps as she ran upstairs was the only sound reaching her ears. An uncomfortable silence followed right after it. Prue merely sat on the same spot breathing hard. Why did she have to go through this? It wasn't fair. Why was she the only one who couldn't stand talking about it? Her eyes fell onto the still rather full glass Phoebe had been drinking out of a few minutes ago. She watched as the tiny bubbles of fizz rose to the surface of the liquid and vanished. There was nothing else she did than watching. Soon she realized her breath was back to normal again. And everything became clearer again. But as a result, Prue felt something that she couldn't feel before. It was the familiar remorse leaving a bitter aftertaste in her mouth. She had made her sister cry. But for what? It was only now that she remembered the state her little sister had been in. Totally nervous and insecure. And in the end, she actually sounded hurt. Prue let out a long sigh. 'I was way too hard on her…sure she shouldn't have started that talk but still…guess it's my turn to apologize.' It was then suddenly the front door opened.
"Prue?" The second middle Halliwell called out.
"Yeah. I'm here Piper." A not so loud voice replied. Piper stepped into the living room to see Prue looking back at her from the couch.
"Hey sis. Have you been here for long already?" Piper asked.
"No, not that long."
"What about our two social workers?"
"Upstairs." Prue answered in a low voice. This was enough for Piper to notice that something wasn't quite right.
"Prue? What's wrong?"
"Piper can you go talk to Phoebe, please? I…We got into a fight and this time I think I went too far…I'll talk to her later cause right now I don't think she's in the mood to face me." Piper was stunned. Her older sister never talked like this. She would never assume that it was her fault right after a fight. At least not when Phoebe was involved.
"Whoa, whoa, wait. So you and Phoebe had a fight and you blame yourself? What was it about?"
"First, I don't blame anyone, it's just I think this time I countered too hard. And the fight was…was about…" Prue looked down for a second. Just as she wanted to go on, Piper spoke up.
"I…think I know what it was about now." She sighed. Sometimes her younger sister was incorrigible. "I'll check on her, ok?"
"Thanks honey." Prue watched again as her sister walked up the stairs.
She felt the contraction in her throat even when she was letting everything out in her pillow. How could Prue just react like that? She had done nothing wrong, had she? The thoughts kept penetrating through her mind as her body shook with sobs. It was a miracle Paige hadn't woken up from all the commotion. But Phoebe didn't even try to hide that she was upset.
Piper reached her baby sister's room. She could hear the sobs coming from behind the wooden door. The thought of knocking didn't even occur to her as she pushed open the door and immediately went over to the bed.
Despite all the crying, Phoebe heard the footsteps approaching and turned around. Relief overcame her as she saw who it was. Right now she wanted nothing but comfort in the warm and gentle arms of Piper. Sobs still wrecking her body, she sat up and reached out to her big sister. Piper sat down on the bed and pulled Phoebe onto her lap. She could feel her sister's arms around her neck, holding onto her for dear life.
"Phoebe sshh, it's ok now, it's over." Piper soothed as she rubbed Phoebe's back. "Stop crying, honey. Come on, you'll make yourself sick."
"Pi..Piper…I didn't want to g..get into a fight…" The youngest managed out between sobs. "I didn't…didn't mean to make her so mad…"
"I know sweetie, I know. Now just take nice deep breaths, ok? You gotta calm down." Piper continued to stroke her upset sibling's back with one hand and with the other held Phoebe's head to the crook of her neck. She wondered what Prue had said to the girl to make her this upset. After several minutes, Phoebe's cries calmed died down to little sniffs. "There we go, sweetie." Piper looked down at her and kissed her gently on top of the head. "You ok?"
"Yeah…sorry, Pipe." The youngest talked as she merely rested her head on Piper's shoulder.
"Don't be. But can you tell me what happened? I know you asked Prue about Dad…"
"I know you told me not to I'm sorry but I…I just had to. Piper she said some things…they really hurt me.."
"What things?" She asked calmly.
"I…I said that he…Dad wasn't as bad as she and Grams used to say and…then she said I shouldn't talk in a way as if I knew him…I…It's not my fault I don't know him…why did she say that..?" A few fresh tears cascaded down her cheek. Piper quickly wiped them away with the back of her hand.
"Oh baby, Prue didn't mean what she said. Things like this happen when you talk about Dad. You more or less forced her to talk and after some time I guess she just snapped. Pheebs she really didn't mean those things, she's upset now, too."
"She is?" Phoebe shifted her head and looked into the brown eyes of her sister.
"Yeah. She's downstairs feeling guilty over what she's said to you. She was the one who told me to check on you cause you probably wouldn't want to face her yet."
"That's right, I don't." The youngest said in a low voice.
"Phoebe give her a break. It's partly your own fault as well, you know?" Piper's voice remained soft, "You shouldn't have pushed her like that. I know it's father's day soon and every year this time you feel the need to talk about him but look, there's Paige and me you can ask, we don't mind so.."
"No that's not the point Piper." Phoebe replied firmly, "I don't just want to talk about Dad, I want to do it with Prue. She never talks to me honestly, she…I can talk to her but it's never the other way round. I never know what she feels…she would never tell me….It makes me feel so…rejected…"
"Oh Phoebe no, she doesn't reject you. She loves you with all her heart, it's just….Look, how old were you when she was like 14 or 15 for example?"
"8 or 9."
"8 or 9. And when you were like 14, could you imagine talking to an 8 year-old about whatever was bothering you?"
"No." Phoebe let out a small chuckle.
"And when you feel upset like now and cry, would you do it in front of a 12 year-old?"
"No." She knew where her big sis was going with this.
"And you know the way you get home all tired out after college and work? Well, Prue had to raise a 12 year-old kid on top of that. Don't take this wrong, she loves you and she'd never swap places with anybody but…what I wanna say is that through her entire life until now she raised you, watched out for you so you wouldn't go the wrong way. She just had to be the authority figure, you know? I remember that Paige was…she was kinda calmer in every situation like when you got yourself into some trouble. Maybe in the end that was even the better way to handle it but at that time I think Prue felt like somebody had to be harder on you so she took that place. And so she could never show you her…weaker…side. It just remained like that until now." Piper finished explaining what she guessed was why Prue never went to the youngest to talk. "Do you understand what I'm saying?"
"Yeah I do. I do understand but…does that mean that it will never really change? That I can never get…closer to her?" Piper then tool her little sister's hands in hers.
"I don't know Phoebe. But you won't know it until you open up about that, tell her how you feel. Just…avoid Dad's name."
"But Piper! That's exactly what I'm saying. She won't tell me why she doesn't wanna talk about him. If she can't tell me that, she won't be able to tell me anything at all!" She got off of Piper's lap and laid down on the bed again, face down on the pillow. The latter just watched this but continued to talk.
"You'll make her upset."
"I don't care. That's what I want her to show me."
"Phoebe!" Piper looked at her in disbelief.
"I'm sorry…I didn't mean it like that. Look, Piper, can you leave me alone for a little bit?"
"…..Sure honey." She laid her hand softly on Phoebe's back. "Will you be ok?"
"Yeah…thanks."
"Ok. I'll be downstairs if you need me." With that, she quietly left her sister's room. After closing the door, she let out a long sigh. Who knew that Phoebe had felt like this about Prue? But she decided not to say anything to her older sisters. This was an issue between Prue and Phoebe and nobody else. They had to go through this on their own.
The door creaked open and she spotted the figure on the bed. Several hours had passed since the encounter with her littlest sister and the sky was turning darker and darker. She had asked Piper about how Phoebe was doing but received nothing more than a simple 'she'll be fine'.
"Phoebe?" She called out in a soft voice but received no answer from the girl who was lying on the mattress. Prue stepped closer to the bed and crouched down next to her sleeping sister. "Phoebe." She tried again, this time gently shaking her. The small groan of one sister was followed by a tug on the other sister's lips.
"Pwue…?" The hoarse voice rang out.
"Yeah it's me Pheebs. Dinner's ready." She whispered.
Phoebe looked up at her older sister with her eyes still half closed. She wasn't even fully conscious but what had happened earlier was cristal clear in her memory. Before she could say anything, the one in front of her spoke up.
"Phoebe I'm sorry." It rarely happened that she said this first. But this time it felt right. Prue watched as Phoebe slowly sat upright and merely looked back at her, the tiredness gone for now. "I mean it. I'm really sorry. I shouldn't have said what I said."
The youngest was a little stunned as her sister apologized. And it did sound like she really meant it. But Phoebe also knew that Prue was referring to the words she had said to her, so it didn't mean that just because she was sorry, there was now a chance to have another start in talking about her father. She let out a sigh. She didn't want to have another fight with her big sis. Certainly not now. She was exhausted enough. So there was only one thing she could do.
"It's ok, Prue." Phoebe said quietly. 'For now it's ok.' These words never left her mouth.
"Is it really?"
"Yeah. You were just mad and I know you didn't mean what you said." Prue listened as her baby sister forgave her. She placed her palm on Phoebe's cheek.
"Thank you, honey." She only received a small smile in response but right now it seemed to be enough for her. "Come on, then. Paige and Piper are waiting downstairs."
"Okay. What's for dinner?"
"Stew." With that, normality came back into the manor but it didn't reach Phoebe's inside. There was a lot left ahead of her. A lot.
Nearly 24 hours had passed since the girl had stepped over the threshold of the restaurant. She seemed so awfully familiar to him it was driving him nuts. First he thought it was because they had already met in the grocery store but now…now that didn't seem to be enough. 'Phoebe…' The name echoed in his head over and over again. There was a baby he knew had the same name. A little baby he had known for only a year but still, it was his flesh and blood. It was his daughter. 'A baby…' Victor chucked. That baby must already be an adult more or less. There was one thought that was left in his mind, one in his opinion crazy thoght. But unconsciously he pushed it aside. There was an uncountable number of Phoebes in San Francisco, right? It was just a coincidence. He was walking back and forth across the room between the customers when the door opened again. And there she was.
For Phoebe the day had started as any other. Well, except for the fact that she now knew who her father was and where. Now she was standing in the cool room of the chinese restaurant again. She had told Paige that she was getting lunch for them. But what she really wanted was left unspoken. She wanted nothing but see the man again, the temporary waiter in this small restaurant, her father. Even if it hurt not to be able to say who she really was, it felt good to be close to him. She had wished that once in her life this wish would come true. Every year on father's day she had wished for him to come back, even if it was just for a short time. And now he was there. Standing right in front of her, showing his gentle smile.
"Hello Phoebe. I figure you liked our food then?" He couldn't help but feel happy as the girl was standing there again.
"Yeah I did. And my boss does." She hadn't eaten really much of the food but there was nothing else she could say right now.
"Have a seat over there. I'll be with you in a minute." Victor pointed to a more quiet corner where not as many customers were there, even if the number of all the customers still seemed to be rather miserable.
Phoebe simply watched as her father did his work. A sigh escaped her lips. 'I can't tell him. Never.' She figured that the main reason she couldn't tell the truth was because she was scared. Scared that if he learned who she was, he would go away again, leave as he did 17 years ago. And she wouldn't want to risk it. For now she was happy with what she had, happy that she could look at him, listen to his soft but yet so strong voice as he talked with her. Talked with her. That was one more thing. This was the first time she could talk to a parent. And it was yet the first time she could get to know a parent as one person, a human being, a character, not manipulated by the image of a Dad. Phoebe didn't know if she was happy about the last part. Probably not. She was probably not grateful that there was such a chance. She would rather have this ideal image of a Dad. A perfect man who never did anything wrong, who was always right, who could let miracles happen simply because he was a Dad. But her world was different. This position was already taken by her sisters. And there was one particular sister who was damn good at it. 'Prue…What will I do with you now..? What can I do?' Her thoughts wandered to her again. It was her sister she wanted to be able to see as a normal person. Not as a Mom, not as a Dad. Sure there had been and would be lots of times she was grateful that there was someone who could give the warm comfort of a mother and the feeling of security only a father could provide. But that wasn't enough. It didn't feel right to think it was enough.
"Here you go." Phoebe was suddenly shaked awake again by the now familiar voice. A glass of orange juice with ice cubes was placed in front of her. Her eyes left the glass and rested again on the smiling face of her dad.
"Thanks. The heat out there can kill you." Phoebe smiled back. It was still comfortable to just talk about everything and nothing.
"Yeah, you could say that. It's like a million degrees. So how was your day?" Victor wasn't the type of person who just chitchatted with someone he barely knew. But this time it was different. It felt right to talk.
"It was fine. There was this new professor I had a class with. She's really nice and it's just amazing how much she knows. And…" And it was amazing how smooth the conversation went on. It nearly felt like a normal chat with her Daddy after school. Minute after minute passed and neither realized it until the takeaway was ready to be paid.
"Bye then. See you tomorrow." Phoebe waved her hand before she left. As much as they talked, she never again mentioned either of her sisters, afraid that he would ask too much and in the end realize who he was really talking to.
"Bye." Victor waved back smiling. He really liked the girl. But there wasn't a minute he didn't push away the images of his baby daughter. It seemed so ridicilous. Going back inside, he saw that there at the moment he wasn't needed by anyone and went through the kitchen and out the back door. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a lighter.
"Do you know that girl?" The voice came from behind, in the words a chinese accent. "Victor, you should quit doing that." He reached out and took the cigarett from his friend. "So do you know her?"
"Yes and no. Gimme that." He took the cigarett again. "You could say now I do know her. We met at a supermarket once and now she's like turning into your regular customer. You should thank me, buddy." He grinned.
"Thank you." He rolled his eyes and laughed. They stayed there for a couple of minutes before the work was calling again. Victor quickly threw away the cigarett and turned to the back door again. But it was then, suddenly, a sharp pain shot through his chest and up to his shoulder. He gasped and held his hand to his chest.
"Hey. You ok there?" His friend called out from the kitchen, apparently witnessing his discomfort.
"Yeah. Yeah I'm fine." He called back. Taking in and letting out a deep breath, he massaged his shoulder where the now dull pain remained for a few seconds. As it was gone again, he shrugged it off and went inside again.
A couple of weeks passed. The number of times Phoebe would go to the chinese restaurant rose to an extent it could be called a daily visit. The oldest was already wondering just what drew her sister to that takeaway. And it wasn't only Paige who was getting more or less worried. It was already three days before father's day and Phoebe didn't seem to be as upset as she got every other year. But the casual comments about their Dad was turning into a habit, too. It had never been like this before. The youngest could never really say anything about her father without getting somehow sad.
Phoebe on the other hand felt quite good most of the time. There was just one thing that was bugging her: She still couldn't figure out what was wrong between Prue and her Dad. And a few times she regretted having met her father. These times were when he finally talked about his family. The two of them seemed to open up even more with the time passing, so they started to have more serious conversations as well.
Phoebe sat in the conservatory with a drink in her hand, looking out of the window. She recalled the talk she had four days ago…
"There. I carry that with me since 16…17 years now? Anyway, a very long time. Well you can tell, can't you?" They had been sitting at a table since 10 minutes. Phoebe took the picture in her hands.
"Yeah. It's in a miserable state." She laughed weakly as she traced her finger over some places of the photograph that were starting to rip. Tears nearly shot in her eyes as she looked at the figures on the picture. Six figures, a picture of a happy family. On the right side there was a woman Phoebe knew from her own pictures at home. 'Mom…' Sitting on her lap was a little girl. 'This must be Piper…' And in front of them on the floor in front of the couch there was another girl with a baby on her lap. Phoebe chuckled. It was definitely Paige and herself. Her eyes fell on the left side of the picture. She carefully ran her finger over the two. A man with his daughter on his lap now. She had a wide smile plastered on her little face. It was more than awkward to see them like this. Prue as a happy normal girl…with her Daddy.
"They all must be adults already. I wish I could…have a look at them…" Phoebe bit on her lip on hearing this. 'I'm right here, Daddy. Right here.' The only thing she wanted was jump into his arms and cry. But that was impossible. Knowing she would soon lose her battle against the tears, the youngest stood up and left, using the excuse that she had to go back to work. She would never know that at that moment when Victor gave her the picture, he wished nothing more than for her to say he was looking at one daughter now. As always though, Victor pushed the thought aside. It would be too much of a coincidence. There was one more thing Phoebe hadn't noticed. She hadn't seen that her father was starting to look paler each day. And it was more or less normal to see peolple with perspiration on their foreheads in this heat. She was already out the door of the restaurant when her Dad unmistakably cringed in pain.
That had been four days ago. She was pulled back from her memory when she saw a had waving in front of her face.
"Hellooo? Earth to Phoebe." Paige was standing there looking amused.
"Oh hey Paige." She quickly replied.
"Where were you? I'm standing here like a minute already." The oldest chuckled.
"Just…thinking."
"Bout what?"
"Nothing. We leaving now?" She changed the subject quickly.
"Yeah. You ready?"
"Yup. Let's go." So the two sisters went to leave for work.
"Miss Halliwell, Mr. Corso wants you." Prue heard the woman's voice. 'Again?' She was slowly getting annoyed by her boss. She liked her day organized but that couldn't work when he kept giving her some spontaneous appointments for an interview. Standing in front of the familiar door, she knocked and entered.
"Hello, Prue." Even his smile annoyed her.
"You called me?"
"Yes. Remember that manager from New York you were supposed to interview a few weeks ago?" He talked while sitting down on his chair again.
"Yes. The one who cancelled."
"Exactly. Now remember I told you he would call again?" Seeing his worker nod, he continued. "Well he did. And he's on the way to you now."
"What!" Prue put her hand to her lips as she realized how loud her voice was and talked on a little more quietly. "Mr. Corso, you can't do that. I need to get more information about him and…and I have to prepare myself and…why can't you let somebody else do it?"
"Because the others already have enough to do. Besides, you're the best worker I have. I'm sure you can handle this." Prue could have punched him for his grin but then the phone rang.
"Hello?...Ok Sheila, thank you." He looked up at Prue again. "He's here. Good luck." He smiled and ushered his young worker out of his office. 'Great. Just great.' Prue thought to herself, sighing in exhaustion. She didn't know yet just who was awaiting her.
So that was it. But was it really that simple? It apparently had to be. Phoebe was walking back home in a fast pace. The heat was incredible but it didn't bother her right now. She had the answer. The most complicated questions always seemed to have such a simple answer. Her father had left the restaurant now because he had to go to some interview. But Phoebe remembered his words from earlier as they had once again talked about his family.
"This is Piper. She was the sweetest girl you could ever imagine." He chuckled. "She was five here." Phoebe knew he was referring to the photograph. "But at that age, she was already so caring and kind. She was just like her mother. And when she helped in the kitchen…oh that was so adorable." Phoebe had to laugh with him. This time she was more confident to hold her tears in. No matter what, she would listen to him until the end. "I'm sure she must be a cook or something now." How right he was. "And see that baby there?" He pointed at the picture. "That's Phoebe." A smile spread across his face as he looked at her.
"Just like me." She whispered. If she had said it any louder, she knew her voice would have cracked.
"Just like you. She's the youngest. She couldn't walk yet. But it was so amazing, she could swim. Of course we helped a bit but still…She was a fish." Both laughed. 'I didn't even know that…' Phoebe thought to herself. "She had the loudest cry out of everyone. And you can't imagine how stubborn a one year-old could actually be. A bundle of energy. But she also had the widest smile. I…I can't tell you much about her, she was one when I last saw her….Oh you must think the worst of me." His eyes fell.
"No. No I don't. You surely had your reasons for leaving." The youngest was stunned as to how steady and confident her voice sounded. Victor smiled back weakly and went on.
"And this, this is Paige, the oldest. She was such a great kid. Now she must be like…24? 25? Anyway, a big girl definitely. It was weird, she was sometimes really mature, always feeling responsible for her sisters and for her own actions." Phoebe could see he was on a different place as his look went far back to a time everything was still alright. "Basically she was a calm girl. Well, of course she got exited over the littlest things as every other kid…but there was something special about her, something really, really calming. Like whenever one of her sisters cried, she was most likely the first one who could stop them. And…it was amazing cause…you know the way kids get really mad and grumpy when something goes not the way they want? Well, Paige wasn't like that. She just accepted things as they were. And yet she was stubborn as well…or rather confident. It's really hard to describe her." Phoebe was totally amazed how much his descriptions still matched her oldest sister. But now she wondered more what he would tell her about the one who was left. Prue.
"And my second oldest daughter…that's the one on my lap. Her name is Prue…" For the first time, Phoebe detected an evident sadness in her father's voice. And if she wasn't mistaken, there seemed to be tears glistening in his deep brown eyes.
"What…what's wrong?" The youngest asked somewhat shyly and carefully.
"Oh, nothing, sorry." He quickly wiped at his eyes and smiled again weakly. "It's just…I probably hurt her the most…and it probably hurt me the most to leave her. She was special, really special…" As he trailed off, Phoebe spoke up again.
"In…in what way?" Maybe this would lead her to an answer to the question that was still kept in her mind. Victor let out a sigh.
"She was…she was my little girl. Sure they all were but with her it was somehow different…."
"…We were really close. And I mean really close." Victor's voice still carried the sadness and soon Phoebe realized that it would never vanish as long as he talked about his one daughter. "You know, all my other daughters said 'Mama' first but Prue… Prue's first word was 'Dada'." He chuckled softly. "It was unbelievable. As a baby, she wouldn't cry for mommy, no, she cried for her daddy. I don't know why. Paige didn't do it and after Prue neither Piper nor Phoebe did it. And as a toddler, she like used to be my shadow 24/7. She was so adorable, always wanting to do what Daddy did, wherever I was, she wasn't far. We…we always used to play together. And…and we had…had our special days. Just her and me. I can't forget the look she had when I..left, her eyes were so…" His voice cracked as a single tear rolled down his cheek. Phoebe fought hard, very hard not to cry herself. Cry for the pain her father had to experience. And cry for Prue. It slowly became clearer and clearer why her dad was a sensitive spot to her big sister. Sympathetically, Phoebe reached out and took his big, strong and yet so warm hand in hers. Suddenly it happened. She shouldn't have been surprised that it did. There was always a high possibility it would happen when she touched people…Her world went black and white….
"Daddy, Daddy, come on! You're so slow!" A little girl about seven or eight ran across the green grass over to a swing.
"Whoa, whoa, Prue. You're way too fast for Daddy! Have mercy with the old man, eh?" A man, younger than Phoebe knew now but still clearly recognizable, her father, exactly the same looks as on the pictures she had seen, ran after the girl and reached the swings. He knew he was faster, who wouldn't be but just to see his daughter smile like now, he would do anything. Panting slightly, he approached her and hoisted her up in his arms, making her giggle.
"Let's get on that swing, Daddy!"
"Ok my princess." He sat down on one of the swings and held his daughter on his lap, looking deeply into the already so piercing blue eyes. Phoebe could see it, imagine it even if her power showed everything without colour. "You are so beautiful, sweetheart. You know you're the only one with blue eyes in the family? That's a special gift, Prue."
"Really?" These blue eyes were shining as they met the choclolate brown orbs of her Daddy.
"Really. It makes you so special. These eyes of yours…you will find nobody on this earth who has eyes like you. They make you to the most beautiful little girl in the whole wide world." He watched as her smile grew wider.
"Then you can marry me, Daddy!" He couldn't help but laugh at the cute little proposal.
"Oh Prue I can't do that. I'd love to, you know? But…" He changed his voice to a whisper, "Mommy will be mad at me."
"Ohh don't worry about that." She patted him cofortingly on his shoulder with her small hands, "Mommy can share you with me. She always says sharing's caring." Victor's heart melted on hearing this.
"You know what? You're right. Let's ask Mommy then when we're home, ok?"
"K. Daddy?"
"Yes honey?"
"Will we always have a day like today?"
"Of course, baby. Of course. Today's officially a Daddy-Prue-Day. Nothing can take that away." It was father's day and he knew there were more daughters waiting for him at home but he also knew that a few hours of this special day belonged to only one of his precious girls.
"I love you Daddy. You're my best friend in the world."
"Aww and you're mine, sweetie. I love you, too." He had to fight hard not to let his eyes become watery. "I promise, Prue. I'll never, ever leave your side. I'll always be there to protect you."
"Really? Promise?"
"I promise. As long as I'm here, nothing can hurt you. Absolutely nothing." He held his daughter close to him. So close. Prue hugged him back….
She had no time to even gasp as usually when right after the first one ended, another premonition struck her….
"Take good care of your sisters, ok? I know you can do it. And keep in mind that I'll always love you, no matter where I am." He planted his lips on her soft cheek, kissing away the tear. In the corner of his eye, a woman was slumped down on the couch, her head in her hands. Phoebe knew who it was. Slowly, he let his daughter down and started to walk towards the front door.
"Dad? Where are you going? Daddy! No, don't leave!" Panic rose in the tiny girl's body on seeing her father's big back turned to her. "Dad no! Come back! Don't leave us! Daddy!" Despite the yelling for him, the girl didn't move. She couldn't move.
Phoebe watched as his hands pushed open the door. He must have done this so many times. And now…one last time, he pushed, one last time, he turned around, just to look into his daughter's beautiful blue orbs. They were clouded with tears. "I love you Prue….. Goodbye."
The door closed. His back was no longer to be seen….
Her world was filled with colours again. She had to catch her ragged breath first before she could say anything. But now she had the answer.
"Hey. Hey, you ok?" His concerned voice rang out. Phoebe just looked back at him.
"I…I'm fine…." She replied weakly, still slightly out of breath. "But I think I know what you mean…it's…it was sadness you saw in her eyes. It was hurt. It was….betrayal."
"W..what?" Victor was confused now. The sadness on his face from earlier was replaced by a frown. What was this girl talking about?
"I, I, I have to go." Phoebe didn't know what to think. She knew he must have had his reasons for leaving. But she had no time to think about that now. There were questions that were on her mind her whole life: Why could Prue never talk about her Dad? Why did she always get angry as soon as his name slipped through her lips? Why did it look like as if she hated him? Now the answer was there. And it's weight was heavy on her chest. It's brightness blinded her eyes. She had to get out of here.
"Wait, where are you going?"
"Work. Thank you for the juice again. Bye." With that, she walked out of the restaurant.
"Bye…" He knew nobody could hear his low voice. Suddenly, with the confusion he was feeling, a sharp, already familiar pain mingled. He gasped and sat down on a chair. This pain was coming regularly by now. But he shrugged it off once again. There was an important interview he had to go to later.
She came out of her memories as she closed the distance to the manor. Phoebe had gone back to work after that. And she kept thinking. She never really stopped until now. As Paige apparently realized her strange mood and asked her what was wrong, she had simply answered she wanted to go home because she wasn't feeling too good. She refused her big sisters offer for a lift home. The only thing she wanted right now was to be left alone. Opening the front door, she welcomed the cool air of the empty manor. With a thud, she threw herself onto the couch and closed her eyes. 'The answer… It's so simple. The reason why she's so mad at Dad…is because he broke his promise….he broke her heart. God she must have felt so betrayed…she must have been so hurt…' A tear escaped the corner of her eye. Now she was crying for her big sister as she knew her secret, the feelings Prue had buried so deep inside. And now Phoebe knew that whenever she had asked about her father, she was tearing at Prue's wound as it was an unintentional attempt to dig out those feelings. But was it that wrong? Would it really make everything better if her big sister kept this inside? Phoebe didn't think so. She had to hurt Prue again in order to heal her. She couldn't know that the first wave of pain was already awaiting her sister, at 415 magazine.
He was sitting on a hard chair in a small office. They had told him that the office would partly belong to the one that was supposed to interview him but right now he was alone there. He was tapping nervously with his right foot on the floor. The little emotional scene he had earlier this day in the restaurant as he remembered the time with his kids was professionally pushed aside. This was business now and he couldn't afford to let his feelings take over him.
Prue was walking down the corridor to the office she shared with another worker. But she knew he wouldn't be there now. Her days were already stressful enough and of course her boss decided to make them even worse. 'Aargh what I'd do just to punch him in his ugly face!' Prue thought to herself but shook her head to get rid of the thought quickly. This was business now and she couldn't afford to let her feelings take over her.
The door to the office swung open. One figure was sitting inside, the other figure walked in. The door fell shut. Two figures were facing each other. The time stood still. The air was cold despite the heat outside. There was nothing left that an eerie silence.
He looked up as he heard the door opening. First, there was nothing special he thought of except for 'let's get this over with'. But it was after a second, after seeing the woman in front of him froze, it was then he saw her eyes and it was then he knew. He knew who it was. These eyes… 'You will find nobody on this earth who has eyes like you…' The words, his own words penetrated his mind. He knew. It was the one he had hurt so much. It was the one he wanted to protect…but failed. He knew who it was. It was his daughter. Her name was left unspoken for so long. He had talked about her just today, but he hadn't used the name to address anybody. Now he had the chance. After 17 years, he had the chance.
"Prue…" It felt awkward. As if his tongue was numb. It didn't feel right to let this name come out of his mouth. All the professionalism he had earlier vanished.
Prue had opened the door and looked at the man sitting in a chair. So there he was, her job, her interview….her………. She suddenly felt sick. And she knew why. She would recognize him anywhere, anytime. And she recognized the feeling. The boiling of her blood. The sickening taste of her own blood as she bit on her lip and broke its skin. Her heart was hammering so hard against her chest she it was more than painful. Her hands clenched into fists, her knuckles turning white, her fingernails digging themselves into her palm. Yes, this was anger she felt. It went deep inside her heart. It reached the bottom. She thought so.
"Prue…" She shuddered as his voice called her name. Her ears hurt, not only because of the huge lump in her throat which she would hide perfectly, but because together with her eyes, they were forced to be used as an entrance to her heart, an entrance that allowed his voice to wake up her deepest feelings. All the professionalism she had earlier vanished.
"What…the hell…are you doing here..?" Her teeth were clenched together her jaw hurt and she was breathing hard as the words came out under her breath.
"Prue…Oh my God…Oh my God. It's you." His voice was steady enough to let her hear it.
"What are you doing here?" But his daughters voice was shaking. And he knew it was shaking in terrible anger.
"I was supposed to have…an interview." He realized how unimportant these things were. So he opened his mouth to let the words come out he had said over and over again, the words he wanted his daughters…his daughter to hear. He had said them in the darkness, when he was alone in his room, imagining that she could hear him. "I'm sorry, Prue." An eerie silence followed. But in the heads of the two standing there, it was all but a silence as the words echoed in their minds over and over again.
Suddenly the silence was gone as were the words in their heads as one of them spoke up.
"Don't you…don't you dare say that again…" Prue was visibly shaking as was her voice.
"Prue…Prue I mean it. I'm so.."
"SHUT THE HELL UP!" He jumped as suddenly she started to scream. But he understood it. Despite the shock, he could understand it perfectly. He deserved shouting. Prue wasn't even trying to catch her breath. "GET OUT OF HERE! RIGHT NOW!"
"Prue, calm down…"
"STOP IT!" She watched as his face suddenly gained confidence again and he stepped towards her. "Stay away from me!" She knew by now that the tears would come. There was nothing that could stop them. Not even she herself, who had stopped them so many times in any kind of situation, was mighty enough to stop the drops of salt water squeezed out by her soul. Victor continued to go his way as he closed the distance to those incredibly blue eyes, once and forever beautiful eyes but now so hurt and scarred eyes. They were the same eyes he had seen when he walked out the door, clouded, clouded with tears. Inches were now separating them. He felt the pain in his chest, this time it was coming from outside as his daughter's fist hammared against it. "Stay.." Prue banged her fist against his chest. "away..!" And again. It was then she felt it. Two strong hands held her wrists. But to her utter surprise, as hard as they were squeezing them, they didn't hurt but instead she felt warmth coming from them. And she hated herself for feeling it.
"Listen Prue. I know I hurt you more than a father could ever hurt his daughter…"
"You're not my god damn father!" She shouted into his face. He felt the sharp pain in his heart as her words reached it. But it wasn't the right time to wallow in self-pity. So he went on.
"I'm sorry I left you. I am sorry. But now I'm here, right in front of you. Can we please..PLEASE talk?" Prue burst out laughing. Sarcasm filled the laughter.
"Oh you're here now! You want to talk, hey?" Her face turned serious again. "But WHERE…Where were you when I REALLY needed to talk to you! Where were you when Mom died!" Tears were streaming down her face. Prue had already given up the attempt to stop them. "Where the hell were you when Paige broke her arm? Or the time Piper had the chicked pocks? Or the time Phoebe won her basketball tournament?" She gulped and continued. She had quit shouting. "Where..where were you when I had my first surgery? When I graduated? Twice, high school and college. How many of my birthdays did you miss? How many Christmas Eves? Thanksgivins? Where…God, where were you on…on father's day?" He knew from her hurt voice, yes, the anger now replaced by plain hurt, he knew from that voice that she was not only refering to a father's day, she was refering to their 'special time' together, their Daddy-Prue-Day. He was at a loss of words. Shame filled his heart until it overflowed. Prue seemed to have composed herself again. She had wiped the tears away. "Loss of words, huh?" Her voice carried a confidence she didn't really have. "And now…just get out." The coldness of these words filled the room. She watched as Victor turned around. THIS was a familiar sight. His back walking out the door.
Prue slumped down on her chair and put her head in her hands. Her throat hurt from shouting and crying. The silence which remained in the room was killing her. But she knew if the room was filled with voices it would kill her, too. She couldn't stay here. A sudden knock on the door caused her to jerk.
"C..come in." She quickly wiped at her eyes again in case there were some tears left. A familiar woman opened the door.
"Prue? Are you ok? I thought I heard shouting but…" The office was thankfully far enough from the other offices so that voices would only be heard rather muffled.
"Yeah I'm ok, Sheila. Thanks." She gave the secretary a weak smile. But she also saw the latter looked concerned now.
"Prue…have you been crying? Are you really ok? And where's Mr. Bennett?" Prue nearly cringed on hearing the name.
"He..he left. I told him I wasn't feeling well, which is true cause I think I caught a cold or something. And that's why my eyes are red."
"Then what are you still doing here? You should go home and get some slee before it turns into something serious. I'll let Mr. Corso know about it."
"Thanks so much. I really need a rest." Prue replied. She managed to smile at the caring young woman. She had always reminded her of Piper somehow. Gathering her things, she stood up and left the office. She just wanted to get home.
She felt the disturbing hand underneath her back. Slowly opening her eyes, she groaned as she saw Piper having her hand slipped under her back.
"Piper what are you…" Piper then looked up and smiled.
"Aww sorry honey, I didn't mean to wake you but you're lying on the remote. Go back to sleep."
"Mmm no. What time is it?" She asked sleepily as she got up. Piper announced with an 'ah, there it is' that the remote had indeed been buried underneath her body.
"It's seven pm. I haven't cooked dinner yet though. Prue will be home in an hour or so. Can you wait until then?"
"Yeah. Is Paige here?"
"Right over here squirt. Good morning." A chuckle was heard from the doorway as the oldest entered the living room. "Feeling better?" She asked in concern.
"Huh?" Phoebe didn't really know what she was talking about but then remembered the excuse she had used earlier and quickly answered. "Oh..yeah. Yeah, sure. Guess I just needed some sleep."
"Good to hear that. Piper, I'll be upstairs reading so can you call me when dinner's ready?"
"Sure Paige." Piper watched as her big sister headed for the stairs. "Actually I'm exhausted, too. Can you call me when Prue comes home? I'll start dinner then."
"Mhmm." Phoebe nodded. As she listened to the sound of Piper's feet walking away from her, her mind drifted back to the day's events. She wanted so desperately to talk to Prue. It was already eating her away from the inside to know what had happened between her Dad and her big sis. As if on cue, the front door opened.
"Prue?" Phoebe called out and walked up to the door. To her surprise, Prue didn't say anything, she just stormed past her into the kitchen. Phoebe then heard more steps. As she looked towards the stairs, Piper was coming down again, obviously having heard the front door slam shut.
"Pheebs? Is Prue home?" She asked her little sister as she reached the bottom.
"Yeah, but she's just stormed into the kitchen without a single word." Phoebe pointed to the kitchen. Piper frowned at her and made her way to where her big sister was. Entering, she saw her standing next to the fridge with a bottle of water in her hand.
"Hey Prue. How was your day?" Piper asked. It seemed as if nothing was really wrong. But as Prue didn't answer, she frowned again and started again. "Prue?"
"You won't believe what happened to me today." Her voice was still filled with anger which didn't go unnoticed by her little sisters.
"Prue what's wrong? What happened?" Piper asked concerned.
"I'll tell you what! That SON OF A BITCH Victor showed up in my office today!" The room was left in silence for a few seconds.
"D…Dad?"
"Don't call him that, Piper! He's NOT MY FATHER!" Prue screamed at the top of her lungs, making the two youngest flinch.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa, what's going on here?" Looking up, the three sisters could see Paige standing in the doorway. Concern was evident on her face.
"She met Dad today."
"Piper, I said stop calling him Dad!" Prue shouted again.
"Ok Prue. Just calm down now. Where did you meet him?" While Prue told her sisters her story, Phoebe was left stunned. 'She met Dad? Oh my God so that interview he was talking about….it was with Prue….oh God…' She recalled the talk and her premonitions she had earlier again. She remembered Prue's hurt eyes. But she also remembered the love that used to be there. That love of a girl towards her Daddy, towards her best friend. She glanced at her big sister, the fury still in her eyes. 'It can't be gone yet. She…she wouldn't be so angry if she didn't love him…' Phoebe thought to herself. Then another thought struck her. Again, she looked at Prue. THIS was just the right moment. It was now or never.
"Prue…." Between all the yelling, the low voice of the youngest nearly died down. Nearly. Phoebe watched as all her sisters turned to her. The attention was now focused on her. "You…you don't really hate him…you want…WANT to call him Dad…don't you?" The voice was soft but filled with so much confidence. The youngest knew what she was doing.
"W…what? What did you just say..?" Prue felt the incredible anger rising again. But this time it was also directed at her youngest sister. The other two just stood there, stunned or rather…shocked.
"I said…" Phoebe spoke up louder this time. "You don't hate Dad. And you want to have him back as much as we do. Or even more." She said fimly.
"What the HELL are you talking about Phoebe? You don't know ANYTHING!"
"Oh yes I do!" Phoebe shouted back this time. She knew she was hurting Prue. But it had to be. Only one thing could be the first step to recovery: Confrontation. "I know that you used to be his little girl! I know that you used to be the best friends in the world! I know that…"
"Shut up…" Prue's whispered words weren't heard by anyone as Phoebe just continued.
"…that you used to have 'special time' together, only you and Dad!"
"Shut..up.." Her voice was a little louder but it never stopped Phoebe.
"I know, Prue, I know that you used to LOVE HIM! And you know what! You STILL DO!" That was enough for Prue. Before any of her sisters could do anything, she grabbed the youngest by the shoulders and pushed her hard against the wall, her hands never letting go of her.
"SHUT UP! SHUT THE HELL UP!" She pushed Phoebe again, causing her to flinch in pain. "What do YOU know! He lied to me Phoebe! He's a god damn LIAR!" She pushed her little sister again and again.
"PRUE STOP IT!" Paige's voice was heard suddenly. But neither Prue nor Phoebe registered it. The latter was in pain as Prue's fingers dug into her shoulders and her head hit the wall behind her but she knew this was just the right way. So she just went on.
"That's right! He lied to you! He broke his promise! But you don't hate him, Prue! Don't lie to yourself!" Paige and Piper were shocked again, not as to how Phoebe knew all this but rather why she tried to provoke their already furious sister even more. Prue pushed Phoebe against the wall again. Paige was now trying to pry her arms off of the youngest, but they held such a force in them it was easier said then done. Only Phoebe saw the tears now wetting her older sister's cheeks.
"SHUT UP PHOEBE! LEAVE ME ALONE! I HATE HIM!"
"PRUE LET GO! YOU'RE HURTING HER!" Piper's yelling mingled with her sisters'.
"NO YOU DON'T PRUE! You don't! It's betrayal you feel! You're hurt cause he left you! And you know why! It's because you love him!" Paige and Piper were the only ones who realized just how much this was getting out of control. With all her might and Piper's help, Paige managed to get Prue off of Phoebe. She held onto her younger sister so she wouldn't try anything again. But the piercing blue eyes, now filled with tears, never left the intense brown ones of her youngest sister. The same brown orbs as her father's.
"If you didn't love him, you wouldn't be this upset!"
"Phoebe you stop it RIGHT NOW!" Paige yelled, fearing that her sisters would end up hurting themselves more than they would have ever intended. She felt Prue struggling in her arms again. "No Prue STOP! Piper, get Phoebe out of here!" She shouted at the second youngest and watched as she pulled Phoebe to her. The latter just kept looking into Prue's eyes.
"Look at yourself, Prue! You're crying! You're shaking! Why can't you just admit how much you love him! How much you miss him!"
"Phoebe go upstairs! GET OUT!" The oldest yelled. And somehow Piper managed to drag Phoebe out of the kitchen and up the stairs.
Prue felt the strength leaving her knees and she slowly sank to the floor, Paige's arms still around her waist as she sat down with her on the kitchen floor. The oldest heard the heavy but shaky breathing of her little sister.
"I…I don't…love him…" Prue said under her breath. All kinds of emotions were fighting against each other in her head and her heart. Anger, hurt, sadness, frustration, betrayal. Her head was pounding and she felt sick.
"Sshh, shh, Prue. It's ok now, it's ok." Paige tried to sooth as she held Prue tightly from behind, trying to make her relax. "Just breath now honey, take deep breaths and calm down. Everything's fine." Prue tuned around and looked at her big sister.
"I..I hate him, Paige.." Her teeth were clenched and just from her voice it was evident that soon enough sobs would consume her.
"Ok, ok, shhh. I know. Just let it out, honey. I'm here now, I'm not going anywhere." Paige pulled her younger sister even closer to her, cradling her head to her chest with one hand, her other hand gently rubbing her back. And soon, Prue gave way to the sobbing.
"H..he left me. He lied..lied to me…and I h..hate him for that." The words between gulps and sobs were muffled by Paige's chest.
"Yeah. I know Prue and it's ok to be angry. It's ok to be sad. You're doing fine now, just let it out." She kept stroking and patting her sister's back, letting her cry against her. "It's ok, Prue. Everything's gonna be alright." She knew that this evening wouldn't be enough to release all her sister's deepest feelings, it wasn't enough to finally make her deal with everything that had to do with her father. But this would, in the long run, definitely make her feel better than before. She also knew that Phoebe was only trying to help. And in fact, the way the youngest chose was the right one, Prue had to face her feelings. But Paige also knew that Phoebe could easily let the situation slip out of control just like it nearly did now. Caution and sensitivity were the things needed in this case. Something Phoebe didn't really have. As she thought of her youngest sister, another thing started to bother her. How did Phoebe suddenly know about the relationship between her Dad and Prue, let alone about details like their special time together? The muffled sobs reached her ears again and she shrugged everything else off to fully concentrate on being there for her little sister. She knew the youngest was taken care of by the best for the moment.
Piper dragged her little sister to the closest room to the stairs. Her own room. There was another reason she didn't choose Phoebe's. Her little sister's room didn't have a lock. She didn't really think that Phoebe would put up such a struggle that she would storm back down the stairs…she just felt safer. Shutting the door behind her and locking it, she turned around. To her surprise, Phoebe didn't look angry at all. The emotion that was, as always, so clearly displayed on her features looked much more like… sadness and hurt. She felt the familiar concern inside as she looked carefully at her youngest sister.
"Phoebe..? Are you ok?"
Phoebe had just let herself be dragged up the stairs by her older sister. She didn't have the strength to do anything against it. And she didn't want to. She might have been shouting, she might have looked confident, she might have been the one who pushed. But inside, she was anything but confident, inside, she was crying, screaming for help, inside, she had been pushing herself, too. It hurt. To help her sister, she would do anything. But this time, she had to hurt her. Bad. And it was the worst feeling she had ever had in her life. Never in that life of hers, never had she succeeded in hurting Prue. She recalled that sometimes she even wished she could do it, just to see Prue as a normal human being with feelings and weaknesses. Just for once. And now she had seen it. She had felt her sister's hard shell crumble. She had heard the cries of pain coming from the deepest part of Prue's heart. She had seen her tears. And it hurt.
"Phoebe..? Are you ok?" She looked up and for the first time registered she was in her sister's room, Piper standing right in front of her, looking utterly concerned. "Pheebs?" Piper tried again. Her little sister looked terrible. The colour drained from her face and her body trembling.
"Piper…" It was only a small voice but that was enough for Piper to detect all the hurt in it. Without a single word, she opened her arms and welcomed her little sister in them. They sank to the floor together. A huge sob soon turned into a sobbing fit.
"Oh Phoebe…" Piper held her tighter, gently pushing Phoebe's head to the crook of her neck. "Sshhh sweetie, it's alright. You're fine, it's ok."
"I…I didn't want to..h..hurt her!" Phoebe managed out.
"I know, baby, I know. Of course you didn't want to hurt her, I know that." She rubbed her sister's back comfortingly. Piper now knew that what Phoebe was trying to do earlier was to open up Prue and make her face her feelings towards their father. But Phoebe was doing it too fast, too hard and with too much force. It wasn't as easy to handle this as the youngest believed it would be. And this was the result. But Piper didn't blame her for anything. She smiled at the sweetness of her baby sis, at the attempt to help her big sister with this difficult and complicated issue.
"I made her cry, Piper." Phoebe was still sobbing although not as hard as before.
"It's fine, sweetheart, it's fine." Piper continued to rock her back and forth, "You said it yourself, you didn't want to hurt her. You wanted to help her. And now look, you're crying yourself. You did a good job, honey. It was good that Prue could finally let some steam off. Just be a bit more careful next time, okay?" She smiled down at the youngest reassuringly.
They sat there for a few more minutes until Phoebe started to calm down.
"Feel better now?" The older one asked softly.
"Yeah." Her voice was a bit hoarse from crying and shouting earlier. She felt tired now as she leaned against Piper's chest.
"That was one commotion down there, hmm?"
"Uh huh."
"I hope the neighbours won't start complaining."
"Sorry."
"No sweetie, it's not your fault." It was then they heard a gentle knock on the door and Piper remembered she had locked it. "Pheebs, go sit on my bed, alright?." With that, she slowly got up and went to the door while her little sister walked to her bed to sit down. Piper knew who it was even without opening and indeed, she saw her big sister waiting for her to let her in.
"Hey you. Everything ok?" Paige asked in a hushed voice as she now stood in the doorway looking at Piper.
"Yeah. Where's Prue?" Her voice was equally low.
"Living room. I'm gonna watch a movie with her or something. You know, so that she can relax a bit before going to bed with a bad aftertaste."
"Yeah, good idea. I'll stay with Phoebe though. Actually I wanna know how she knew all that with…you know."
"Yeah. That's a good question. Tell me sometime when you know, ok?"
"Ok Paige. What about dinner? Will you be ok on your own?"
"Piper. I can cook, don't worry. My food won't kill Prue." The oldest chuckled.
"Right. Is she okay?"
"She'll be fine, I got her. What about Phoebe? She alright?"
"See for yourself." Piper opened the door a little more so that her sister could see the youngest. Phoebe was lying on the bed quietly playing with the fur of Piper's little teddy. Paige smiled and walked up to her younger sister. She crouched down beside her and laid a hand on her forehead. It was evident she had been crying. Her cheeks were still stained and her eyes red.
"Hey. You alright?" Paige smiled at the youngest.
"Yeah."
"Are you in any pain? I know you hit your head down there a few times." Phoebe indeed felt a slight headache and she knew there would be marks of Prue's fingertips on her shoulders later but it wasn't really bad so she didn't want to make a drama out of it.
"A bit. But it's ok, it'll go away soon." She smiled back at Paige.
"Ok honey. I'll leave you with Piper now but I'll be downstairs if you need me, ok? Will you be alright?" She asked softly.
"Yeah thanks, Paige. Is Prue ok?" The hurt was evident in the young voice.
"Yeah sweetie, she's fine." Paige knew that Phoebe certainly didn't like what she had to do downstairs. "Hey, don't be upset. You tried to do your best. It's all gonna be alright again. Got it?" She showed her youngest sister a reassuring smile.
"Got it."
"Aww come here. Give your big sis a hug." Paige opened her arms and pulled Phoebe close as the latter sat up and returned the hug. Paige gently stroked Phoebe's back. "I love you, sweetie."
"Love you too." Phoebe's voice was muffled by Paige's shoulder. With a kiss on the head by the oldest, the sisters broke the hug and Paige walked towards the door again. As she walked past Piper, she stopped for a second.
"Will you ask her now?" Piper knew her sister was refering to Phoebe knowing more than she was supposed to know.
"Yeah. I'll tell you later about it. At least I hope I'll be able to."
"Ok. Be careful though, don't push her. I know she's upset more than she shows it."
"I know. See you later then." Piper drew Paige in a long hug before the oldest walked out of her room. As the door closed, Piper turned to her sister on the bed. "Ok Pheebs, there's something I want to talk to you about."
"Piper I'm kinda tired. Can we do that tomorrow?" Phoebe really felt tired. But she knew herself these words were mainly spoken to avoid the following conversation, the questions her sister would ask her. Piper walked over to her bed and sat down next to her sister, leaning against the headboard.
"I know you are, sweetie. But it won't take long. I just want you to answer one question." Piper caressed her sister's hair gently. "Please, Phoebe?"
"Ok." The youngest sighed and sat up again, looking her older sister straight in the eyes.
"Thanks. So….why..I mean down there, how did you know all that about Prue and Dad? Those were things we definitely haven't told you. Not the way you repeated it in front of Prue. How could you know about it?" Piper's face was serious as she looked at Phoebe. The latter looked down at her hands. She didn't know if she should tell. But now it seemed rather impossible to hide it any more. She felt her big sister's gentle touch on her chin and Phoebe was forced to look at her again. They both stayed like that in silence for a couple of seconds before the younger one decided to speak.
"I…I got it from Dad. He told me." She couldn't think of a better way of explaining it. Sure she got a premonition but that was the same as him telling her, right? For her it was.
"I…don't think I understand that, Phoebe." Piper answered confused. What did Phoebe just say about Dad?
"I said Dad himself told me what was going on between him and Prue. I talked to him, Piper." Piper was totally surprised. Stunned. Caught off guard. Shocked.
"Wh..what?... Where?.. How? Phoebe…" She didn't know what to think now. Her mouth stayed open as she merely stared at her sister. Phoebe sighed again. She didn't want to explain all this. But there was one way how she could make Piper understand even without explaining.
"Piper. Will you come with me to work tomorrow? There's smoething I want to show you."
So there she was. Outside the manor ready to go wherever her little sister wanted to take her. The sun was almost unbarable, it had rarely been this hot this time of year.
"Ok let's go, Piper." Phoebe came out of the house closing the door behind her. Piper had promised not to tell Paige about the talk they had had last night. But she couldn't get out more of her baby sister anyway. There was one thing she suspected though. And actually she knew her thought would be right. But never did she lose a word over it. She wanted to see it with her own eyes first. The youngest knew what it meant to take her sister to him. She wouldn't be able to hide it any longer. Hide the fact that they were his daughters. But that seemed to be ok for her now. Maybe 'ok' wasn't the right word. She just couldn't take it any longer. Not after yesterday, not after seeing, feeling Prue's hurt. She wanted to talk to him. Confront him. Not as a customer of the restaurant, not as some girl he met at a grocery store, not as some friend, but as his daughter.
He was lucky his friend had decided to close the restaurant for a few hours and no customer was there. He was a wreck. Head in his hands, he was sitting at a small table in the corner while the chef was taking a break somewhere outside. Guilt was eating him from the inside. He had seen the hurt in his daughter's eyes and wondered if they would ever be back to normal again, if anyone could ever make her scars disappear again. Maybe it was because of all the thinking that he started to feel weaker and weaker every day. And the waves of pain he felt in his chest seemed to become stronger and more intense, not to mention more regular with the time passing. His friend had recommended to see a doctor. But he never went to one. Maybe because the physical pain eased his emotional pain. Maybe this pain felt like the only way to atone for the things he did to his own daughters right now, especially the one he had met yesterday. But inside he knew exactly that there was no such a way to atone. Letting out a long, tired sigh, he rubbed his eyes and looked up again. As his gaze fell on the huge window next to the front entrance, he stopped moving. There were two figures walking outside, approaching the restaurant. He recognized one of them immediately. The girl who had visited this place so many times in the last few weeks. The girl he had secretly hoped was his one daughter he had never had the chance to get to know better. Phoebe. But what caught his eyes was the figure of the other girl, walking right next to the first. No, he had to be seeing things. The wish to see his daughters that haunted him for 17 years now had to be playing a trick on him. But right now his body didn't seem to really care about it as it moved automatically.
"Pheebs, I'm not hungry. Besides it's closed. Now come on, you wanted to show me something." Piper was slowly getting impatient. Her youngest sister hadn't said a word to her about where they were about to go and why. Now they were standing in front of a chinese restaurant. A closed chinese restaurant.
"We're not here to eat, Piper. But it's weird it's closed though. It was never closed at this time." Just as Phoebe finished her sentence, the door opened.
"H..Hi. It's actually closed but you two can come in. It's cooler inside." His voice rang out. Phoebe showed a weak smile. Apparently he didn't seem to recognize Piper either. Never could she know what he was really thinking. Rather, hoping. She turned around to glance at her older sister. And she saw what she had expected to see.
"Piper? Piper, you alright?" Phoebe asked as she took Piper's hand in hers. Victor was already inside again, waiting for the two girls to follow.
Piper felt like her lungs stopped working as she stood there. Shocked. Nothing more than shocked. True, she had expected something like this. After all, her little sister had already confessed she had talked to him. But hearing it and actually seeing him, these were completely different things.
"Piper? Hey, are you ok? Say something." Phoebe tugged at her hand as her sister seemed to be in a trance-like state longer than expected.
"Wh..what? Oh, sorry Phoebe. But…he's…that's…" Piper was still in a shock even if Phoebe could make her snap out of it.
"I know. I'm sorry I've never told you about it until now. But let's just go inside first, ok? He's waiting." The youngest was glad that her sister finally walked inside with her. There was so much still lying ahead of them.
"Take a seat over here." Victor lead the two young women to a bigger table. During the time they walked over to him and sat down, his eyes never left the second person, the girl he had seen in this restaurant for the first time, but he was hoping, praying that he wouldn't be seeing her the first time in his life.
While Phoebe and Piper sat next to each other on one side of the table, Victor sat on the other. Phoebe was the first one to speak up.
"I…I want you to meet my sister….Piper." She studied her father's eyes closely as she said this. And there it was. She had caught it. Finally, she had seen it. A change in his eyes.
This couldn't be a coincidence anymore, could it? Victor heard the name and he wasn't surprised as he did. But he was surprised that what was happening now was real. But in some corner of his mind, he felt a tiny, very tiny but an evident piece of doubt. What if this actually WAS a coincidence?
Phoebe might have seen the change in his eyes, but there was still something that bothered her. The change wasn't enough. So she merely kept right on.
"I hope…..I hope now you know who we really are………….Dad."
He put his hand to his mouth. There it was. The proof. Now he didn't only hope. He knew. He looked at the younger one. Then he looked at the older one. Then back to the younger.
"L..Long time no see, Dad." A soft voice was heard. His eyes fell onto the older girl again. She wasn't smiling. Neither did she look angry. Her expression was unreadable.
"Yeah…Piper." His voice was trembling. It was then he saw her eyes filled with tears.
Piper didn't want to cry, she wanted to be strong now in front of him but it didn't seem to work. They just came, the tears. She watched as her father stood up. He was smiling.
"Can I…give you a hug…?" He asked carefully. He had seen one daughter's reaction already. He didn't know how the other ones would react. And it was his own fault he didn't. But to his surprise, Piper stood up, too and slowly, very slowly stepped into his embrace.
"Oh..God….Daddy…" The tears were running freely down her cheeks now, stopping right where his navy blue shirt was, growing to stains on the soft cotton material. Her voice was nothing more than a whisper, but the shaking could be heard clearly. She felt his strong arms tighten around her. She felt his face against her hair, his breath as he spoke.
"Oh Piper. My sweet little girl…I…" He couldn't say much. His tears fell onto his daughter's hair. The sweet scent of it was almost making him unconscious. He felt her fingers dug into his back. Piper had a hard time to even breath. Not only because her face was buried into his big chest but mainly because she now had something, felt something in her arms she had never had the chance to feel before. How many nights had she cried herself to sleep, silently calling out for him in the darkness of her room? How many mornings had she woken up wishing he would hoist her up in his arms and say 'good morning, princess'? How much had she wished for him to see her success in school and job? How many times had she wished for him to just be there? Now he was. Right in front of her, holding her. After several seconds more, they slowly broke the hug.
"Let me have a look at you. Oh you're so grown up." He smiled even though his cheeks were still wet. Piper chuckled as she wiped her tears.
"Dad, I'm 22. Of course I'm all grownup."
"Yeah, yeah how stupid." He laughed, "And god are you beautiful." He looked at her proudly.
"Oh come on, stop it." Piper let out a soft giggle as she looked away, a little embarrassed.
All the time, neither one noticed Phoebe had been quiet. She sat there simply staring at her sister with her father. Neither one knew that her thoughts were drifting back to yesterday, to one person. Her older sister, Prue. She felt the huge lump in her throat. But in contrast to Piper, the tears threatening to fall weren't tears of joy, but those of pain, sadness and even anger.
"And Phoebe. I…I was hoping this from the minute you were here that…that this would be true." Victor turned to his youngest daughter, as did Piper. The latter frowned on seeing her younger sister. She actually looked…upset.
"Pheebs? Hey, you ok?" She sat down next to her and laid her hand on top of her sister's.
"D..Dad? I have….I just have one…question." Her words came out in a whisper. But Piper immediately realized why. Phoebe was on the verge of crying.
"Yeah. What…what is it?" Victor also sensed the seriousness in the voice and sat down again.
"Why…why did you leave us?" These words now hung in the air. Piper looked at the youngest with concern but then looked back at her father again, she herself expecting an answer. Victor sighed.
"I…I know there is no excuse for what I did to you. But…there was one thing your mother told me."
"Mom?" Piper frowned.
"Yes. She told me about her secret."
"Oh God. You know that we're…" Phoebe just let her older sister talk but Piper was cut off.
"Oh no. So you are already witches." He shook his head and sighed. But soon, he went on. "Back then, I was so…so shocked and so angry about it. We talked about it nearly every day. And one night it just got…too much…I…I didn't want to see my daughters…my girls die because of some…destiny or something."
"So…you ran away..?"
"Phoebe." Piper was a little surprised to hear this from the youngest.
"What, Piper? It's true, isn't it? He…he.." One single tear escaped her eye, followed by another.
"You're right, Phoebe. I ran away. If you knew how much I regretted it…every day, every night…but then, I just couldn't live knowing that..that you might be killed by some weird…thing and…I wanted to protect you, I wanted to make your mother take the powers away…"
"You could never have done that. It's who we are now, Dad." Phoebe said a little more firmly this time. "And to be honest, I don't care if you wanted to protect us or not back then. Truth is…truth is you were never there to do it. You weren't there to protect us because you left." Her voice cracked. Now she knew she was crying but that didn't stop her. "You left, Dad….Do you…do you know how much you hurt everyone with that? Just because you were…too much of a coward…you hurt us. You hurt Prue." Her voice was barely above a whisper now as she looked down at her hands. "Can you…can you even…imagine…the pain she had to go through..? The pain we all had to go through..? Can you imagine the burden you gave us?" Phoebe looked up again. Right at his face. "We were kids, Dad! Why couldn't you be a bit stronger and push back your fear? Why did you have to be such an egoist!" She shouted and stood up.
"Phoebe…"
"Piper, don't." She didn't even look at her sister. Her eyes stayed on her father.
"I…I'm sorry." Victor couldn't think of anything else to say. His daughter was right in everything she said. In every single word.
"I am, too." With that, Phoebe pushed herself past Piper and walked out of the restaurant.
"Phoebe!" Piper called after her but she knew her little sister wouldn't stop. She was now standing, too as she looked hesitantly at her Dad, then after her sister and back at her Dad again. It was just two days before father's day and the perfect wish was on its way to come true, but now Piper felt it slipping out of her hands again. But nonetheless, without a word, she made up her mind and ran out the restaurant and after Phoebe.
Victor let his head fall into his hands again. He gasped as the sharp pain in his upper body came back. His tears fell onto the wooded table. The physical pain was nothing compared to the emotional pain he felt, the pain he himself was responsible for.
"Phoebe! Phoebe, wait!" She caught up her sister soon and it was then she realized they were already standing in front of her parked car. "Pheebs. You alright?"
"No I'm not!" She yelled right at her older sister's face as she turned around. But then looked away. "I'm sorry Piper. I…I didn't mean to yell. But…can we please just go home now?"
"Ok honey." She ran her hand over her younger sister's head once and walked towards the door to the driver's seat.
They had been driving for five minutes now and no word was spoken. The two sisters merely watched the buildings and cars passing by as their own car moved forward. But soon, this silence was broken by the older one.
"We have to tell Paige."
"I..I know. I just didn't want to go there with too many. I wanted to tell her soon, anyway." Phoebe replied quietly. The tears were already wiped away but she felt exhausted. And she knew Piper did as well.
"Yeah well, we need to tell her now. Like when we come home."
"Why the hurry?" Piper then looked at her sister in disbelief before looking back at the road again.
"Because this isn't just something we can keep for ourselves. Phoebe we just met Dad. It's not like we got a letter from him or something, we MET him, we TALKED to him, hell, I even hugged him! And you…"
"Told him the truth." The youngest stated. Piper sighed.
"Yeah. It's ok, Pheebs. I can understand why you did that." Piper smiled weakly.
The rest of the drive was made in silence again.
Prue sat in the darkroom with her pictures. She wouldn't have much to do at 415 today, anyway so she stayed home. Besides, she had already told the secretary she was coming down with something. So why not stay home on a Friday when weekend was knocking right on the door anyway? It was then she heard the front door open and close again. Her sisters. She knew Paige wouldn't be home this early so she figured it had to be Piper and Phoebe. Phoebe. She had been avoiding her youngest sister since yesterday and vice versa. She had never lost it like that before. And it felt weird. She didn't know if she was still angry at her, she really imagine talking to her now. A soft knock on the door pulled her out of her thoughts.
Phoebe had gone straight to her room after coming inside. She had said she was tired so she wanted to sleep now but Piper knew better. True, she looked tired and it might have been true, but that was certainly not all. She knew Prue and Phoebe were avoiding each other. And she didn't blame neither one. As long as this wouldn't go on for too long, it was ok so Piper didn't want to push them yet. She made her way to the phone quickly and dialed the number of Paige's office. And the familiar but now business like voice greeted her on the other end.
"Paige? Hi, it's Piper. Um…do you think you can come home like right now?...No, everything's fine. At least as in nobody's hurt….I'll explain when you're here. Can you manage it?...Yeah, it's kinda urgent. Thanks. See you then." She hung up again and let out a sigh. 'Oh this is just great. Why can't every day be this exhausting?' She thought to herself sarcastically. After letting out another sigh, she made her way to the kitchen and to the fridge and got out some ice cream. It was time to check on her other sister.
"Prue? D'you want some ice cream?" Prue heard after the knock. She hesitated first but then walked up to the door. It was indeed very warm. Ice cream would be the right thing now.
"Hey Pipe. Thanks, I'll have some. Living room?"
"Yeah." Piper smiled. She was glad her sister was more or less back to normal again, even if she knew that the issue with their father wasn't over yet.
Sitting in the living room, the first few minutes the only thing that could be heard was the spoons hitting the bowl with ice cream. Before Prue spoke up.
"So how was your day?"
"Uhh…" Piper thought about telling her or not but there was no reason why they should hide it so she decided to tell her the truth staight. "Exhausting. We…we..met Dad today."
"Oh really?" Piper was shocked as to how calm her sister reacted on this.
"That's…that's all? 'Oh really'?"
"Well, what am I supposed to do? Jump up and scream at you? Or Phoebe? I think I've done enough of that yesterday.." Prue looked down away from Piper.
"Prue….With Phoebe..um…you know you can't go on like this forever."
"Yeah I know. I just…" She sighed, "just need some more time, ok?" She was still looking away from her little sis.
"Do you want to know what happened when we were meeting Dad?" Piper asked carefully.
"Piper…you should know I don't but if it's important, feel free to talk." 'Wow that little outburst yesterday really did her good..' Piper thought on hearing her sister.
"Well…there's one thing I think you should know. Phoebe, she…"
"Oh what's she done now?" Prue already expected the worst.
"She told Dad her opinion."
"Be more specific." Prue was a little curious now.
"She was like…she said to Dad how much he hurt us back then and now, how much he hurt you. That he was a coward and an egoist for running away like that." Now Prue was looking at Piper again but in surprise.
"She said that?" Prue asked softly.
"Yeah." On this, Piper thought that she had witnessed a small but warm smile on her big sister's face.
"Prue you have to talk to Phoebe."
"I will. Sometime I will. Just…not now. Don't worry, Pipe. We'll be okay, I promise." She stood up. "Now I gotta go back to my pictures. Can't be lazy all day now, can I?" She smiled before leaving the room again.
Before silence could set in, Piper heard the manor door open. Looking up, a panting Paige was already standing in the hallway.
"What happened, Piper? Tell me now."
"Why don't you sit down first?" She suggested.
So Piper told her oldest sister everything, every detail including yesterday's talk with their youngest sister and every detail about what happened today.
"I can't believe she said that." Paige was equally surprised as Prue a short time ago.
"Me neither. I thought she'd jump into his arms and cry like I did." Piper replied with a small smile.
"Aww. You were happy to see him, hey?"
"Well yeah. I mean..why should I not? It's my Dad." She let out a weak laugh.
"I'm so sorry it went like this, honey." Paige placed her arm over her little sister's shoulders. The latter simply leant in.
"It's ok. It's not like I won't see him again….I think."
"So now it's just me who hasn't met him yet." The oldest laughed. It was then they heard someone coming down the stairs. As expected, it was their baby sister.
"Hey Pheebs. It's too early for dinner yet." Piper smiled.
"I'm not here to eat, Pipe. I just wanted to ask Paige if it's ok if I skip work tomorrow." Phoebe said.
"Uh, yeah. Sure. It's Saturday and there won't be lots of work to do, anyway." Paige answered.
"Thanks. Call me when dinner's ready." With that, she went upstairs to her room again.
'I have to fix this somehow. I have to talk to her.' He kept thinking to himself as he served the customers. But he couldn't go to the manor. 'I don't even know if they are still living there. Besides..' He thought about his second oldest daughter. 'I don't want another fight like the one in 415.' But then he remembered something. Phoebe had told him where she worked. 'The social services. That's it. She has to be there.'
He sat in his friend's small but cozy living room quietly drinking coffee. The next second, soft steps could be heard from behind.
"Morning Vic." A chinese man still in boxer shorts and t-shirt sat down across from him with his own mug of coffee.
"Morning." He answered in a low voice.
"You know what? You really should go see a doctor. Have you lookend into the mirror? You look paler and paler every day." His voice was filled with concern.
"Thanks Johnny. But I can watch out for myself. Don't worry, I'm ok." He gave him a smile. Truth was, he was nothing but ok. He had never felt as weak as today. All his strength seemed to be sucked out of his entire body. Maybe it was really a good time to see a doctor, but first, he wanted to do something. He had a place to go today. "Hey, I'll start work a little later today, alright? There's someone I have to see."
"Sure. Actually you shouldn't work at all but rest or something."
"Nah it's fine. I'll just be late." With that, he stood up again to go get ready for the day.
The comfortable, warm air in the morning sun had already turned into a boiling film of heat on the people's skin. Fortunately, the air condition worked fine in the eldest Halliwell's office. The room was filled with the sound of her fingers hammaring on the keyboard. She didn't even notice the time passing until she hit the full stop key for the last time. Stretching her stiff body, she yawned and rubbed her eyes. Her body jerked as suddenly the phone rang with a shrill ringing.
"Hello?"
"Miss Halliwell? There's someone who wats to see you. Or from what I understood he wants to see your sister." The secretary Paige knew was sitting right on the same spot as her, just on the first floor, spoke. "His name was Mr. um…Bennett. Mr. Victor Bennett." Paige didn't know what to say for a few seconds. What was he doing here? 'Phoebe isn't here.' She nearly said this but stopped herself.
"Thanks Joanne, let him come up." She answered.
She put the phone back onto the cradle again. He would be here any second. What was she supposed to say now? 'Oh come on, Paige. You should be the last person having problems with talking to him.' She thought to herself. And too soon, after another few minutes had passed, there was a knock on the door.
"Come in." This was the permission for him to enter her life again. She would now see him after 17 years. 17 long years where so much had already changed in her life. The door opened slowly and there he stood. He looked older. 'Of course he looks older, silly.' Paige thought again. But actually he didn't look just older, he looked…sick.
"P..Paige?" He walked closer to her even in his shocked state.
"Hi..Dad." Paige remained sitting in her chair. "Take a seat." With an awkward smile, she pointed to the chairs in front of her desk. Victor sat down.
"I didn't know you were working here…I thought.."
"Phoebe does work here, she's just not here today. I'm her boss." She explained.
"Oh…right." He moved in his chair nervously. "So..um…long time no see, hey?"
"Yeah. It's been nearly 20 years now….Dad?"
"Yeah?" He was glad his eldest daughter still called him like that.
"Let's get some things straight first. I'm not going to fight with you like Prue…or even Phoebe. But neither am I going to jump into your arms like Piper. Can we talk to each other like normal adults?" She asked calmly. This seemed to be the best way to handle this for now.
"Sure." He let out a long sigh.
"First of all, there's something you have to know. I want you to know why I'm not freaking out seeing you like my sisters."
"Well, you've always been sort of calm." He stated. All he got in response was a quick smile.
"This is going to be very complicated if I tell you the whole story. (A/N if you still want to know, read Lost Oldest.) So I'll tell you his briefly. Okay first, you're not my biological father." The first bomb came down on him.
"Wh..what?"
"It's the way I said it. I'm really…and I mean this, really sorry to have to tell you this. But you have a right to know. It's been 17 years, and a lot has happened. I am the daughter of a man called Sam Wilder. But I don't know him, just for your information. And I don't intend to get to know him. Fact is you still raised me for 8 years as your own daughter, so I feel like your daughter, no matter if we're related or not." She paused to let everything sink in.
"I…I don't know what to say…so Patty.." He was at a loss of words.
"Yeah. Mom had something going on, she just never told you. I'm sorry." She watched as her father rubbed his chin with two fingers, his gaze fixed on the floor. But soon he sucked in a breath and looked up again.
"Go on. There's something else, right?"
"Yeah, there is. Piper told me you knew about Mom's and our secret. So I hope you'll understand if not everything sounds very logical let alone normal. Just don't ask too much and accept it as it is, ok?" Seeing him nod, she went on. "Mom was never supposed to have a child with my biological father. So she was punished. A short version is that I was taken away from her years after you left. I was put in a new family, a completely normal, innocent family. And the memories of those who were involved were erased and new memories were like implanted. Something like brainwashing. But now everything's back to normal again, the original memories are back. That's why I still know who you are, not to mention who my sisters are. But." She licked her dry lips before she continued, "The memories of my…adoptive parents are still there in my head. They died in a car accident a couple of years ago. Look…" She handed him the small picture on her desk. He looked at the picture and then at his daughter again. "It's them. As I said I…still feel like they're my real parents. And my Dad was always…always there for me."
"Paige…"
"Look, I know this is hard to understand and also hard to believe. But I want you to know one thing. You're not my only father anymore. I had a Dad who was there for me when I needed him. At least I have memories of that. I know they are partially fake but still…This is why I don't react the same way any of my sisters did. I can…I can only hope you understand that."
"I..I…I think I need some time before…before I can accept it like that…" Victor mumbled.
"Yeah…I know you do. I needed lots and lots of time, too. Just..it was like my whole life changed in one night, you know? I can imagine the struggle that's going on inside you right now…" Paige said understandingly. She had felt anger towards him for a long time. Not as much as Prue but she had felt it. And it was exhausting. "Dad…I'm a big girl now. I just want to…leave all this behind, you know? My father died in that accident. I cried, I grieved for him then. And I know I'll never be able to fully get over it. But I feel better every day. In fact, I feel good now, the way everything is. I just don't want everything to get out of order again. You're still my Dad though, and it doesn't mean I care less about you than my sisters. Look, I can't explain it all too well because I'm not sure about how I really feel myself. Just…you know, don't be too surprised that I don't get all too emotional seeing you." It was more or less a one sided conversation but the oldest had said what she wanted to say, what she wanted him to know, so she was quite satisfied.
"I guess I…have to live with that, hey?" He spoke in a weak voice. It was then suddenly the familiar pain came back. Out of pure reflex, he clutched his chest and gasped, cringing in pain.
"D..Dad? What's wrong?" Paige got up and walked over to him. "Are you ok?" Despite her speech earlier and the distance she took, Paige was visibly concerned now.
"I..I'm fine." He said as he felt the pain suside again.
"You sure? You look pale though."
"I'm always this pale. Don't worry, Paige. I promise, I'm alright." He showed her a reassuring smile. Seeing her worried face he knew that she had told him the truth. No matter what had happened in these past years, no matter how many 'fathers' she had, his oldest daughter still cared about him, not more and not less than her sisters did. "I think it's time for me to leave now." He slowly got up. "When can I find Phoebe here?"
"Um…I think you should leave her alone for a little. She needs some time to think, too. Besides, we won't be here tomorrow anyway because it's Sunday..…" 'Oh my God.' She gasped as she remembered the date. 'I totally forgot about that….what a coincidence..'
Victor chuckled.
"Don't worry. I don't expect any presents from any of you. My present was that I could have a look at you all. Weird coincidence, isn't it? That out of all days and weeks in one year, it's this time I'm back here seeing you." He was still smiling.
"Y..yeah. Dad, we…"
"Ah. Don't say anything." He held his hands up. "As I said, I don't expect anything. I know you won't come and see me tomorrow. Maybe it's better that way. At least for one of you." It was clear that both of them knew who he was talking about.
"Yeah, I think so, too. I'm…I'm sorry though. I really am."
"It's ok, Paige. It was good to see you. You've…become a beautiful woman. You're successful, you're….. definitely standing on your own feet. I've seen what I wanted to see. And no matter what you think about it, I'm proud of you." He gave his daughter a genuine smile. Paige smiled back.
"Thank you Dad. You don't have to worry about me. I was raised by the best. Including you."
"I don't know if I still have the right to say this but….take good care of your sisters." He opened the door, ready to walk out.
"I will. And you do have the right. I know Prue says something different. And I can understand her, too but…I think that…no matter what, you're our Dad and you'll stay our Dad….forever. And a Dad can worry about his daughters. It's ok."
"Paige….thank you." He wanted to leave but his daughter stopped him and unexpectedly, put her arms around him. He returned the warm hug. "Same here, you know? No matter what…you're my daughter. And whenever you need me…from now on….I'll be there for you." He whispered in her hair before breaking the embrace and stepping out of the office.
Paige closed the door. She stood there for a moment, just staring into space. After letting out a small sigh she walked up to her desk again. With a small smile plastered on her face.
He walked down the street towards the restaurant in the hot sun again. It was definitely a lot of information to digest first before he could truly react. But he felt surprisingly good. Not physically, but despite all the rather bad information, he walked back with a feeling of satisfaction. As Paige had said, his youngest daughter would only need time. Besides, he had deserved her anger. And Piper seemed to be more open. He hadn't lost them yet. Maybe, just maybe, somewhere, sometime, there was a chance for him to win back his family. He would be ready for everything just to achieve that. There was only one problem he didn't know if he could ever fix. One person he didn't know if he could ever get close to again. Prue.
As he looked up, the familiar yellow plate with the restaurant's name on it already caught his eyes. For now, he would take everything as it came, the only thing he could do was to hope.
The hours passed and the restaurant slowly filled with people. 'Weird. It's like everyday there are more people eating here.' Victor thought. Of course, he was happy for his friend but this also meant more work for him It was getting harder and harder every day.
"Hey Vic. You can take a break, you know? I'll have another friend come over." A voice behind him said.
"It's…it's fine. I can handle this." He was slightly panting already. The feeling of weakness and tiredness was the worst. As if his whole body was numb. And the constant dull pain in his upper body didn't really help either.
"Victor, I mean it. You look worse than ever. Stop pushing yourself already."
"Look Johnny, I'll just work here for another hour until these people here are served, ok? I promise I'll stop after that." He took the tray of drinks in one hand. His feet felt like lead but he went on, closing the distance to a small table a young couple was sitting at. He shook his head slightly as his vision started to blur. 'What…what's happening to me..?' Before he could know more, two glasses fell onto the floor, shattering into pieces. Everything went black. One body hit the same floor. The slow, melodical chinese music softly playing in the background was downed out by a sudden high-pitched scream of a woman, followed by another scream and shouting. "Somebody call 911!"
"Wow Piper, how did you do this? This is like even better than your usual cooking." Phoebe stated as she chewed on the chicken.
"Phoebe just how many times did I tell you not to speak with your mouth full." Paige looked at her baby sister sternly.
"She may speak if it's a compliment to my cooking." Piper grinned.
"Piper you're as bad as her." Prue added with a laugh. They were all glad that slowly, at least at dinner table, the tension in the house seemed to vanish.
Meanwhile in front of a small chinese restaurant in San Francisco, the dark corners were illuminated by blue lights and the voices of curious people mingled with the loud sirens of an ambulance.
"I'll get it." Paige got up from the couch as the ringing tone of the phone was heard all over the Halliwell Manor.
"Hello?" She was curious as to who was pulling her out of Piper's talk about a new waiter at Quake.
Phoebe watched as her older sister got up and went to the phone. From the chair she was sitting on, she could clearly see Paige as she picked up the ringing object. But what she saw next scared her to no end. She saw the colour of Paige's already pale face drain even more. Her oldest sister seemed petrified.
"Pheebs?" Piper, who was sitting across from Phoebe, couldn't see Paige but Paige's reaction was somehow connected to the youngest. So she quickly sensed there was something wrong.
"Phoebe what is it?" Prue was also realizing it. The youngest didn't answer, she simply kept staring at Paige.
As the oldest hung up, she walked over to her sisters very slowly.
"Paige…?" This was the first time Phoebe spoke again. Now Prue and Piper were curiously looking at their big sister, too.
"That was SF Memorial." All sisters frowned on hearing the low voice. "Dad has been sent to hospital." The words echoed in the big house. After a few seconds of shock and silence, one sister spoke up.
"We…we got to go there." Piper's voice was trembling. She didn't even ask what was wrong with him. Truth was he was lying in a hospital bed needing them.
"I know. Come on then." Paige wanted to get her car keys but was stopped by another voice.
"I'm not going." Three sisters turned around.
"Wh..what?" Phoebe couldn't believe what she had just heard.
"You heard right. I said I'm not going." Paige was left stunned. But there was no time for this. She opened her mouth to yell, just for once, but stopped herself again and looked towards the front door.
"Come on, we have no time for this. She stays here then." Quickly, she grabbed Piper's and Phoebe's hands and dragged them out of the house.
The drive had been made in an eerie silence. Neither sister had dared to speak up. And that silence had continued until now as they were all sitting in the waiting room. Nobody had told them yet what was wrong with their father, what had happened to him. Suddenly, the white door opened and a middle-aged man with an equally white coat entered.
"Halliwell?"
"It's us." Paige stood up.
"Miss Halliwell." He shook each sister's hand. "I'm Dr. Hawkins. I am treating your father."
"What's wrong with him?" Piper asked quickly. To her utter surprise, the doctor smiled.
"Let's sit down first. But I can assure you already that your father is in no dangerous condition." The sisters seemed to accept this statement with relief and let themselves be guided back to the chairs. "Now it's very unusual for people to collapse because of this but…what he has is….gallstones."
"What? But….that's…how can you collapse because of something like that? I thought it was completely harmless." The oldest spoke, "I mean, I know some that had them and nothing really happened to them."
"Well, that's why I told you he's not in a dangerous condition. But."
"But?" Piper urged on as he seemed to think of the right words.
"This is just the first thing we found out. And the other test results are not back yet. As you said it correctly yourself, it's highly unusual to collapse because of that. But at the moment I can't tell you any more than this. What I have to tell you though is that your father needs to undergo an operation to take out the stones. If you leave them inside, it's possible at anytime that the gall bladder ruptures."
"But that's…" The youngest was cut off in her words.
"It can be deadly if you don't treat it immediately. But…" Phoebe didn't really listen to the rest of his words anymore. No matter how relaxed the doctor seemed to be, no matter how much they said he is in no life-threatening condition, only one word seemed to stay inside her head. Deadly. It can be deadly if you don't treat….It can be deady….deadly….dead. She knew she was overreacting. But she couldn't help it. Her heart was filled with plain worry and fear. And this wasn't even the whole story. There was apparently something else that caused him to collapse.
"Pheebs. Hey." A sudden wave of a hand in front of her face woke her up again. She looked up into the smiling face of her oldest sister. "You alright?" Paige chuckled a little as she watched Phoebe get out of her trance.
"Yeah. Sorry, just thinking. Did you say something?"
"We can go see Dad now." Piper answered for her sister and took Phoebe's hand in hers.
"Okay." So she followed Piper to their father's room.
She sat on the couch with her head in her hands. Why did she say that? Why did she always have to be that stubborn? She felt something inside. And she knew it was worry. Looking down at her feet, she saw that one was nervously tapping on the floor. With force, she threw her right hand on her knee to stop the annoying movement. She hated it. She hated herself for worrying about her father. But above all, she hated herself for not being able to accept it. Accept the fact that she still cared.
"Dad?" Piper asked right away as they entered the room. There were two other patients occupying the beds. An elderly man reading the paper and a man about 30, quietly listening to the music coming out of his headphones.
"Girls, hey." Victor answered with not very much energy. It was weird to see their father now so fragile, so pale in that light blue hospital gown. The three sisters walked up to the side of his bed.
"Dad, you…you scared us so much." Piper said as she took his big hand in hers.
"Are you alright? How are you feeling?" Paige asked, worry etched on her face.
"Well, tired maybe. And I don't like the smell here." He let out a small laugh. Sure enough, the stinging smell of disinfectant wasn't really the most pleasant thing about hospitals.
"Don't worry, I'm sure you'll be out of here sooner than you think." The middle sister stated.
"So how much did they tell you about your condition?" Paige asked as she pulled a small chair next to the bed and sat down.
"I guess it would be pretty much the same as they told you." So Victor started to talk.
Again, the youngest sat there watching the interaction between her sisters and her dad. But her thoughts were somewhere else. 'How can they be so relaxed right now? The test results aren't back yet and god knows what's really wrong. How can they think it's all going to be alright just like that? How can they be laughing now?' The thoughts kept penetrating her mind. Maybe she was too pessimistic. But it felt right to think this way. What if…just what if the worst comes out? Why shouldn't it be right to prepare oneself? It's better than hoping for the best just to have a hard fall afterwards. But somewhere in her mind there was a thought fighting against it. 'You have to believe it's really as harmless as they said. Everyone is behaving normal and I'm the only one freaking out here. So it has to be me who is wrong. In fact, everything is alright.' It was an endless inner conflict of optimism and pessimism.
Suddenly, the door to the room opened and every head looked up.
"Miss Halliwell?" A middle-aged nurse called into the room. "We have to talk to you about something." She waited until Paige stood up.
"I'll be right back, ok?"
"We'll go with you." Phoebe spoke.
"Ok." The eldest replied simply. She knew it was the worry for her father that quieted down the youngest more than usually. It was absolutely understandable that she wanted to hear what the doctors had to say.
The three girls were lead to a small office. They could see Dr. Hawkins waiting for them with a light brown envelope in his hands.
"Please, take a seat." He guided the sisters to the chairs. Once they were all sitting, he continued. "Let me tell you this straight. It looks like your father's condition is worse than when we first thought it was." On this, all three sisters faces visibly carried worry and fear. "We looked at the cat scans." He looked at the envelope. "And I'm sorry I have to tell you this but his heart condition is very bad. To be honest, a man his age shouldn't be in such a condition. I have hardly seen a worse case of this."
"Would you be more specific, please!" Phoebe exclaimed a little too fiercely.
"Phoebe." Piper laid a calming hand on her little sister's shoulder.
"I'm sorry." The youngest mumbled.
"It's okay. You're right and I can understand your worry." Dr. Hawkins smiled sympathetically. "Mr. Bennett told me he has been complaining about chest pains for the past time. And now we know why. It's coronary atherosclerosis. It's a slow process that can go on for years without causing any symptoms. What happens is that fatty deposits build up along the inner walls of the arteries to the heart. You can actually compare it to lime deposits forming in a water pipe. So the vessels are narrowed and the flow of blood from the artery to an area of the heart muscle is reduced. Once the blood stops flowing, usually due to a blood clot, he could suffer from a heart attack."
"Oh my god…" This was the first reaction any of the sisters showed to the explanations of the doctor. And it came from the oldest Halliwell. It was a strange feeling. So many times had she talked about it in biology class in school, it could be considered as common knowledge but when it actually happened to someone known to them, someone close, it was different. The doctor's deep but soft voice continued mercilessly.
"Now the problem is that we cannot operate and get the gallstones out. In his current condition, he is not able to survive a surgery."
She was scared. Images of her strong father now doubling up with pain shot through her mind. Again, she knew it was exaggerated. She was way too pessimistic in this. But what could she do? She was scared, and nobody could stop it. Only Phoebe herself could see her hands trembling in her lap as the doctor went on speaking.
"We will give him medication that dilutes the blood and lowers the blood pressure. I can't tell you yet when or if he will be able to survive a surgery. He will have to take the medication for the rest of his life and it depends on him how soon his heart will be ready. All we can do is wait."
"But what if the gall bladder ruptures? Can that happen?" Piper asked, the insecurity evident in her voice. Dr. Hawkins sighed.
"As I said, it could happen anytime. And if, IF it happens….unfortunately, right now……." He looked down, the message was clear. Phoebe bit on her lower lip. This couldn't be happening, right? The lump in her throat was already sending pain to her head. Every word seemed to make it worse and worse. She wanted to get up and run out of the room, out of the hospital. But she knew she couldn't. She didn't want to run away.
"How high is the chance that it happens now?" The oldest spoke. It was hard to listen to his explenations. Nothing sounded good. But she had to stay on the ground of reality.
"Very low." He smiled. "Of course it would be better to get the stones out then leave them inside, but I don't think it will actually rupture this soon." The youngest heard this. She also heard her sisters' sighs of relief. "I see quite a good chance for him to recover. The medication will show its effects in a few month. There are actually treatments with a bypass to the heart but unfortunately in your father's case it wouldn't be useful. Anyway, once the effect is there, he could be ready for a surgery. Even if not, there is still a high chance that he could just live with the gallstones for the rest of his life. Well, from time to time he will feel weak and tired because of that but…we can't do anything against that."
"But it looks good, right? He won't…um…die, then?" Piper asked carefully. She was glad when the doctor smiled at her reassuringly.
"No. I would be surprised if he did. I mean, of course I cannot exclude that completely and I cannot guarantee you anything for 100 but I'm pretty positive he's out of danger."
"Oh thank you, Doctor. You…you scared us pretty much here." Paige said, laying a hand on her chest. So everything wasn't that bad after all. She smiled at Piper who was sitting right next to her. The middle sister returned the smile of relief. Okay, it wasn't 100. But where would it lead them to if they believed in the other side? If they believed in the few per cents that were seperating the rest from the number of 100?
'Was that all you needed? Are you assured now? Relieved?' Unlike her sisters, Phoebe felt herself slipping more and more to the 'other side'. It was highly unusual. But it was certainly not impossible.
The lump in her throat grew as they reentered their father's room. He was now sitting on the bed, leaning against the big pillow, a magazine in his hands. 'Get a grip on yourself, Phoebe. Relax.' She told herself.
"Daddy?" She started quietly. Nobody should hear the insecurity and fear in her voice.
"Phoebe." He showed his youngest daughter a weak smile.
"I…I'm sorry what I said to you in the restaurant, I.."
"It's okay already. You were right. Absolutely right. And I know that deep in your heart, you still think that way. And I can understand it. But you'll see, I'll prove you I've changed." His smile wasn't weak anymore but confident and assuring. He gently took her hand in his own. On his touch, Phoebe clenched her teeth together to prevent the tears from showing themselves. 'I don't want you to die.' This was a thought she wanted so desperately to say out loud. But her dad was calm, her sisters were calm, she didn't want to be a baby. She wanted to look as confident, as relieved, as strong as her sisters. Gently, she squeezed his hand back and smiled.
The darkness had already consumed the city of San Francisco. But two lights from a car illuminated Prescott Street. They had been sent home by a nurse as their father needed the sleep. Accepting that argument, the sisters had said goodbye to their Dad and now they were pulling up on the driveway of the old Victorian manor. The calming sound of the engine died down as Paige turned the key and pulled it out.
"She asleep?" She asked her middle sister in the front seat softly, indicating to the younger one in the back.
"Yeah I turned around once and she was gone already. Can't blame her though, I feel like dead, too." Piper chuckled.
"Piper…um..don't you think she was awfully quiet all the time? I mean like she hardly talked with Dad after her..uh..apology."
"Now that you say it, yeah. But I think she was just…maybe still shocked from everything, you know, all that…driving to the hospital not knowing what was wrong and now the doctor's speech…guess it just tired her out." She smiled.
"Yeah…probably." Paige then turned around in her seat and started to gently shake Phoebe's knee. "Phoebe, sweetie we're here. Wake up."
"Mmm what?" A groggy answer came from the backseat. "Are we home already?"
"Yeah. Now come on, you can sleep in your bed." Piper got out and opened the back door for her little sister.
Prue was still sitting on the couch. She hadn't moved. She hadn't been able to move. Her head ached from thinking. Thinking about various scenes with her father that had remained in her head despite the long years of anger. Suddenly, she heard steps and low voices from the other side of the front door. Her sisters.
"I think I'm heading to my room now. I could sleep for a whole day." Piper's voice was heard.
"Do that. We can visit him tomorrow again. It's Sunday. And it's…"
"Father's day." Phoebe finished. But something inside her felt that this was worse than any father's day they had ever had. It was better to have a healthy father they didn't know where he was than a sick father right in their hometown.
Prue looked up as the first sister entered the family room. It was Piper.
"Prue? Have you been on that same spot the whole time now?" She asked with surprise as she saw her older sister on the couch with the same clothes in the same position. It was already late enough and she had expected her to be in bed.
"So..how is he?" Prue ignored Piper's question and asked her own in return, her voice kept low.
"You would know if you went there yourself, you know?" The small but sarcastic laugh was heard. Phoebe, who had kept her mouth more or less clothed for the whole time, was now standing next to Piper, looking down at her older sister on the sofa.
"Phoebe. Don't start." Paige warned from behind them. She didn't want yet another fight. At least not now.
"No Paige I'm sick of this!" The older sisters were a little taken aback by the sudden little outburst. "I know we've been fighting constantly in the past few days and I don't like it either! I know it was always me who somehow triggered the fight. But this…this will be the last time I'm starting this, Prue! For the last time now I want you to know what I think about this all!"
"Okay Phoebe. Then get to the point." Prue replied harshly.
"You're scared, Prue. You're such a coward! You're as much of a coward as Dad! You know what? I know how you feel or what you feel. And I even told Dad about it. I even yelled at him. But you…you don't even have the guts to go and see him, talk to him! He's sick Prue for God's sake! What if he…" Her yelling suddenly changed into a small voice, "…what if he dies?"
"Pheebs he won't die, don't say that." Piper intervened.
"No? How can you be so sure?" Her voice rose again. "How can you be standing here, going on with your day as if nothing, NOTHING has happened! Are you that numb! Don't you two feel nothing? How can you not feel like crying and screaming, how can you not be freaking out!"
"Phoebe you're totally overreacting right now. It won't happen. The doctor said that." Paige added in a calm manner.
"No he didn't say that. He said it's unusual. He didn't say for once it was impossible! What if, Paige, what if it happens? What then!"
"I don't care." The voice was low, but it was heard by everyone.
"Wh..what?" Phoebe turned to her other older sister again.
"I don't care if he dies." She knew herself, THIS was definitely not true anymore. She could feel the words cutting her tongue. But she started it once now, and she would finish it. "No matter what you think about me, no matter what you say about me or Victor, I don't care. To me, he's already dead. He died when he walked out that very door." Prue pointed to the front door. "So why should I care what happens to him now?" She finished quietly. What came next was absolutely unexpected. In the corner of her eye, Prue saw a swift movement, followed by the eerie sound of flesh hitting flesh, again followed by the stinging pain in her left cheek.
"You know what, Prue? Sometimes I hate you." Phoebe said in a low but trembling voice and walked away, up the stairs to her room. Her right palm hurt. But she wasn't able to do anything else. The anger had consumed her. This was the first time she had actually hit her older sister. And she didn't regret it.
"Did you have to say that, Prue?" Piper shook her head in disbelief and anger before she too walked out.
"You didn't mean that now, did you?" Paige asked sternly.
"Leave me alone." This was the only answer she received.
"Fine." So she turned around and walked away.
She tossed and turned in her bed. She couldn't sleep. She looked at the clock. 1:15am. A small sigh escaped her lips. 'It's the day…' Switching on the small light next to her bed, she looked at the calendar… June 19, 2005.
She tossed and turned in her bed. She couldn't sleep. This felt so wrong. She couldn't get rid of the awful feeling in her stomach. Something wasn't right. Getting up, she went to her closet and pulled out some jeans and shirt. She had to go there.
Just as she had switched off the light again, she heard it. Steps. She closed her eyes, thinking that they were heading to the bathroom. But as the feet started going down the stairs, she opened them again. Slowly, she left her bed. The door creaked open and a figure caught her eyes. 'Prue…' Even in the dark, she had a good sight. 'What is she doing..?' What she saw and heard next made her even more curious. The door to the manor slammed shut. Quickly getting dressed, Phoebe made her way downstairs and grabbed Paige's car keys.
She accelerated. Now she had to fully admit it. She was worried. No matter what her sisters said, the words of the youngest were still repeating themselves over and over again in her ears. 'What if he dies….?'
By now, she knew where her older sister was going. But she followed the ever so familiar car in front of her, hoping that its driver wouldn't notice her. She watched as suddenly a drop of water hit the front window of her oldest sister's car. Followed by another. And they seemed to be getting bigger and bigger with every drop. 'Great. It's raining now, too.'
She slammed the brakes. Looking to her side, the huge building with the plate 'San Francisco Memorial Hospital' was greeting her. Quickly, so the cold rain wouldn't get to hit her for too long, she walked to the entrance. Never did she notice the figure following her with every step, but stopping as she finally walked into the building. The figure of her youngest sister.
'She needs her time with him. Alone.' This was the thought preventing her from going further after her big sister. It was okay to wait. The rain wasn't hitting her as the entrance offered her a nice shelter. She would wait. Until one day, the one who went inside and the one who would see her in a few minutes, could walk out of a building side by side. Never could she know what her sister would witness this night, inside of this building.
Prue walked down the narrow corridor to where she knew her father was. She had somehow managed to persuade the nurse to tell her where his room was. She would have gone there even without her information anyway. She would have searched and found the room.
She set one step after another, reading the numbers on the small plates, knowing that she was getting closer to her destination. Her feet stopped when she saw the one number she had heard a few minutes ago. She laid her hand on the door. It was cold. She breathed in and out deeply once before pushing it open. She passed the two sleeping figures of strange men and quietly sat down next to one bed. The bed that carried the very man who head lead her through life in her first years and the man who had dropped her, abandoned her after promising to always stand by her side. She merely watched as his chest rose and fell again. 'I used to watch you like this in the morning when I was little….hoping that you'd soon get up and play with me.' She remembered. She remembered the warmth she had felt then, as her tiny had used to grab his. Slowly, a hand moved in the darkness of the hospital room. That hand locked itself with another. It was then Prue felt it. It was still warm. It was the same warmth she had felt so many years ago. She felt her cheek getting wet. 'Am I…am I crying..?' With her other hand, she touched her face and chuckled quietly. She was crying.
"Daddy…" One single word escaped her lips in a whisper. It didn't feel strange or awkward. It wasn't heavy on her tongue. It felt normal. She hadn't forgot how to pronounce the word.
The next second she looked at his face, at his now older face, she notices something shiny in the soft moonlight. Even if she couldn't see the colour, she knew that brown orbs were looking at her.
"Prue…" His voice would have been hoarse if it hadn't been a whisper.
She wanted to get out of the room. She wanted to wipe her tears, so he wouldn't see that she had been crying for him. She wanted to let go of his warm hand, so he wouldn't realize she was close to him, so close. But she couldn't. Something inside of her fought against it. Her head lost the battle against her heart. She wouldn't let go of his hand. Never again.
"Hey…Dad." Her voice was shaky as she spoke with a smile across her face.
"Hey." He knew that something had changed. It was weird, he didn't even ask why she was there. Right at this moment, he knew she wouldn't go away. "I'm sorry."
"I know, Dad." She really knew. She felt it, she saw it in his eyes. Eyes she hadn't looked into the last time. Eyes she had avoided so well. But now as her blue eyes locked with his brown, she somehow knew. She knew that even if there was nothing that could change the past, he was still sorry and would try to do everything to make up for it. But above all she knew that no matter how long he was gone, no matter how long she had denied it, he was still her father.
"I promise, Prue, I promise I'll do anything to make it better. I know I broke a promise once and hurt you bad with it, so I don't blame you if you don't give me a chance. But I just want you to know that I am trying. I…I don't expect you to do anything, I just…want you to know how much…how much I love you." The words were left hanging in the air for what seemed like an eternity. The grip on his hand tightened.
"I…If you ever…ever hurt me again…I don't know what I would do…but…this time, keep your promise…I can't jump happily into your arms yet but…at least let's move on, forward, …together. Because…because I…. There is a reason I was so hurt, a reason I couldn't look at you until now…You couldn't have hurt me if I didn't…." She was suddenly cut off in her speech as her father's grip tighened on her hand, so much it hurt. "D..Dad?" Anxiously, she looked at him. Her heart skipped a beat as she saw his eyes tightly shut, his brows knitted, his teeth clenched together in sheer pain. "Dad!" Her voice woke up the other occupants of the room. Her father didn't react. He just continued to moan in pain. "Oh God…" She felt the panic rising inside. Freeing herself from the grip, she dashed out the room. "Somebody help!" The thought of pushing the button next to his bed to call somebody didn't even occur to her. But she achieved the same results anyway. Soon, the room was filled with doctors and nurses. Panic and anxiety now replaced the calmness of the air that had been present for the past few hours. Prue didn't hear what the doctors and nurses were saying, or rather yelling. She only knew it was bad. She felt the ugly feeling inside, and she hated it. She could barely see her father with all the people around him. But as they started to wheel his bed out of the room, she ran up to the small crowd.
"Dad!"
"Prue…" His voice was weak but he knew his daughter would hear it. He reached out his hand.
Prue couldn't get through the wall of doctors who were preventing her from disturbing their work. But one thing she could reach. It was the outstretched hand of her father. His big hand she had seen so many times, outstretched, reaching for her, ready to guide her everywhere, through everything. This hand was now shaking, it was weak. This wasn't right. It couldn't be right. Still, she took it.
"Prue…remember my words when I…left you the first time…?" He managed out as he felt his daughter's hand in his. She was not about to let go, her grip was strong. So much stronger than the little girl's hand he knew. He smiled.
"No, I don't want to remember them! You promised you won't leave me again! I won't need them ever again! You're so overreacting right now, Dad!" She yelled. But the tears running down her face told something else.
"Prue…never forget my words…I'm sorry I have to do this to you now." He didn't know why he could say this. It could be anything. Any harmless thing. But it was too painful to be that harmless. Even if the pain hadn't been there, he would still have know that something wasn't right. Something was pulling him to the otherside.
"NO! Stop saying that! God, you promised me a few minutes ago! I don't want to feel it again! I don't want to hate you again, for so long! Can you imagine how much it hurt?" She didn't care how many people were watching her, listening to her words as she ran along the bed, fighting against the crowd of doctors around her Dad.
"Prue…Prue, I won't hurt you…just remember my words….I love you, Prue."
"Dad! Don't talk as if we wouldn't see each other anymore! Daddy!" She felt the hands of the doctors pulling her away, and the hand she swore to herself she would never let go again was slipping out of her grip. The warmth was slipping away. It felt as if everything was slipping out of her hand, away from her. It wasn't completely gone yet. The fingertips still provided the warmth. But not for long. "Daddy….I love you, too." Nothing remained. The hand was gone. She stopped running, rather, was stopped. She watched as they closed the two doors to the ER.
The rain was batting the ground mercilessly. How long had she waited now? She was getting cold. But she would wait on. Her sister needed the time with her father. Slowly, she sat down on the bench next to the entrance again.
She had long since lost track of time. Sitting in the chair, she waited. It was all she could do. She looked at her one hand. The warmth was not there. But she could still remember it. It was something she had never forgot. She might have denied it, she might have run away from it. But it had always been right there in her memories. The tears had dried. She was tired. Why did she feel so horrible? There was hope, right? She jerked as suddnely the door opened and a man in white stepped inside.
"Miss Halliwell."
"Yes." She replied in a hoarse voice. "Where's my father?" Her words were barely audible. Somehow, she already knew the answer. And she knew she was right as she watched the doctor shake his head slowly, his eyes cast to the floor. Everything seemed to be in slow motion. She saw his lips moving, but his words never reached her ears. She didn't care what he was saying. She was numb. There was only one thing that was clear. He was gone.
The sound of the rain still hitting the ground was the only thing she heard. She sighed. Maybe she should go home. Maybe her sister would stay there until the sun rose. 'No, I will wait. I don't care how long it takes.' She rubbed her upper arms to chase away the chill. She would wait.
The sound of quick steps on the floor rang out through the long corridors, drowned by other steps and voices of people. She couldn't stay here. She had to get out. The building was crashing down on her, burying her under its debris. Her head ached, her ears were ringing. She felt sick. Her heart ached. She watched as the exit came closer to her. It was herself who was closing the distance, but how was she supposed to feel that?
Phoebe glanced at the entrance again. And her eyes stayed there. 'There she is.' She didn't care what her sister would ask if she saw her there. So she stood next to the exit, waiting for Prue to see her. But something seemed wrong. Her sister looked terrible. 'Oh my God…I hope they didn't fight again…' But a voice inside her told her she was wrong. The pale face of her older sister, the glistening, the….tears. It all seemed so strange to her. It reminded her of one night. Their fight about their dad she had provoked. Another thing bothered her. Prue seemed to stare past her. Her eyes, they were…empty. Phoebe felt her heart beating faster and faster as it was quickly filled with worry and fear. Why would she look like that? She couldn't say anything as her sister walked past her. Into the rain, without really knowing what to do, where to go.
"P..Prue?" Her voice was low, and it didn't stop the older one who just walked alone in the rain. "Prue." This time it had more volume. But still, Prue didn't stop. Phoebe set one foot in front of her. Then another, and another. Soon, she was walking, then running towards her sister. "Prue!" Her yell wasn't as loud as it would have been normally as the rain nearly drowned her voice. She felt cold as she ran, the huge drops of water hitting her everywhere. "Prue, stop!" Now she was walking next to her, trying to get her attention. When Prue still didn't react, she saw no other chance than stepping in front of her, forcing her look at her.
Prue realized that she couldn't walk on. Somebody was standing in her way. She hadn't registered it before. She hadn't even noticed the rain wetting her. Her head was empty. Her heart was empty…or was it? As she looked up, she saw who it was. Her baby sister. She seemed to be calling out to her. Phoebe's voice wasn't heard by Prue, but the older sister saw one thing. Her eyes. The brown orbs reminded her of someone. And it was then she felt it. Everything. The wetness of the rain, its splashing sound…the pain in her chest, sharp and piercing, unbearable. Her vision blurred even more.
Phoebe saw it. Something moved in her sisters eyes. Something opened. Prue's face was wet. The rain drenched her hair and drops of water were rolling down the sides of her face. But Phoebe knew that right now, if she kissed her cheek, it would taste salty.
"Prue…" Again, her voice was soft. But this time, it was heard. Without a word, Phoebe pulled her sister into her arms. The latter just let herself fall to her knees, all strength gone, but still, supported by her youngest sister. Right at this moment, Phoebe knew what had happened. She wanted to scream, to cry, to feel her big sisters' arms. But now, there was something else to do. For the very first time in her whole life, she was holding her older sister. Supporting her. For the very first time, she could feel her purest feelings. The ice blue doors had opened now.
"Phoebe…he's…he's…" Prue couldn't speak anymore. Sobs slowly consumed her as she pushed her face into her younger sister's chest. Phoebe didn't say much. She just held her older sister as she cried. She herself was crying, but this time, this one time, she would stay strong to the end. Her sister leaned on her the first time. It wouldn't be in vain.
"How…how could he do that? How could he leave?" The screams between the sobs were still muffled by Phoebe's chest. "Damit he promised! He promised he wouldn't leave me!"
"I know, Prue..I know. Let it out, sweetie." The youngest tightened her arms around her sister.
"Why, Dad? WHY? I HATE YOU!" Phoebe bit on her bottom lip. Through the screams, her older sister's pain was transmitted to her. "Oh God…Phoebe…I told him I had…I told him I had hated him all this time…" Suddenly, her voice was barely audible. "But that's not true….I..all along, I've never..never stopped loving him. Daddy…I loved you. I love you…."
"He knows, Prue. He knows everything…" Phoebe answered, her voice steady, full of reassurance.
"Daddy…" This had been the last word spoken by the oldest that night. Nothing else was heard than the rain still hitting the ground, as if nothing had happened, drenching two figures in their sorrow, but not being able to wash away their pain…
Birds were chirping and the morning sun was gently illuminating the green grass. Four pairs of eyes were looking at the stone.
VICTOR BENNETT
JAN. 11, 1955
JUNE 19, 2005
HUSBAND OF
PATRICIA HALLIWELL
AND BELOVED FATHER OF
PAIGE, PRUDENCE, PIPER
AND PHOEBE HALLIWELL
MAY HE REST IN PEACE
"So now you're with Mom, hey? I hope you're not fighting…" Piper said as she wiped away a tear.
"They're not, Pipe. Remember, there are no demons up there who can cause those fights. They're happy and safe there." Paige spoke as she laid an arm over Piper's shoulders.
"We..we haven't given him anything for father's day." Prue stated.
"You did, Prue. You forgave him, didn't you? What better present is there?" Phoebe replied softly. Prue simply smiled at the youngest.
The last few weeks had been hard for all sisters, full of grief and pain. But also full of love, love to each other that helped all the way through everything.
"Prue…do you want some time alone here?" Paige asked gently.
"Yeah…yeah, that would be good. Thanks, Paige."
"We'll be waiting in the car, ok?" Piper added. As the three sisters turned around and were about to walk away, Prue spoke again.
"Um, wait actually." Prue continued as she made sure she had their attention. "Phoebe…do you want to stay here with me?" She smiled at the youngest. A genuine smile full of love.
"I…If you don't mind, I'd love to." The youngest answered.
"Come here then." Prue sat down on the grass and reached one arm out, inviting her sister to sit next to her.
Phoebe happily obeyed and made herself comfortable next to Prue. She leaned in as her older sister placed an arm over her shoulders. They enjoyed the calming silence for a few minutes before Prue spoke.
"Do you think he knows how much we love him?"
"I'm sure he does." It was a nice feeling. Her older sister never asked her questions like this.
"Dad…you know why I came to you?" Prue continued talking, this time with her eyes fixed on the tombstone. "Do you know who made me go to you? Who made me realize what I was truly feeling? She's right here, sitting next to me. You're youngest daughter and my baby sister." As Phoebe looked up stunned at Prue, the latter just smiled and kissed her on the forehead. "Thank you, Phoebe."
"Prue…" She wanted to ask why, but kept herself from doing it. Actually she knew the answer. So there was only one thing she sad, smiling back. "Welcome."
"He'll always be here with us. People don't die unless they are forgotten. You know that, right?" Prue spoke. 'Remember my words, Prue…………….. Keep in mind that I'll always love you, no matter where I am.' The voice in her heart would stay forever.
"Yeah…I know." Phoebe answered quietly. "He's in our hearts forever…just like Mom."
"Exactly….Phoebe?"
"Yeah?" She looked at her older sister again.
"You know you have Dad's eyes?" Prue tightened her arm around the youngest as she looked into the deep brown mirrors.
"Paige told me once….but it's kind of different to hear it from you." Phoebe smiled a little sheepishly and looked away.
"You know….we can come here anytime you want."
"…..Thanks…" Phoebe looked up again. What she saw was blue. Intense, piercing blue.
She knew it would still be hard to talk to her sister about their father, what held on for so long wouldn't just vanish in a few weeks, months or even years. But it was fine, it felt okay. Because now, whenever she would look at her older sister, she would know how she felt and what she thought. She would now see what was behind those blue eyes.
