You Wouldn't Understand

Van had offered her a ride home, that rainy day. As she sat in the passenger seat, she thought about how cold he was, how distant he always seemed. Hitomi wanted to know why, what had happened in his past to make him this way? Or was it just that he didn't like her? Well, either way, Hitomi decided that she would find out.

As the car came to a halt in front of her new house, Hitomi glanced nervously at Van, expecting him to get out. He didn't. She opened the door and stepped out into the rain. Hitomi was about to close the door when he looked up and offered her a black umbrella. She took it, clearly confused, thanked Van and after opening the umbrella, walked towards the house.

This became a pattern over the next few weeks, occasionally Van would drive Hitomi home, even if it was raining, and most times, he wouldn't come in the front door with her. She found this odd, but never thought of asking why he didn't come home.

She hadn't the clearest indication what was wrong with him, if anything was wrong. Hitomi kept having dreams, strange dreams, about a boy she must've known, but couldn't remember. At first, yes, she had thought it must be real, it just seemed more like a memory, than a dream. She couldn't tell why, but she thought it must be something about this place, this town, these people.

One dream had taken place in front of a small ice cream palour near the house. Another inside of the coffee shop she had visited that first day with Millerna, Allen and Van. There were others, but she was starting to lose hope. She decided that she would ask Mary, she was her Aunt, therefore she must know something about Hitomi's past. And Mary knew Van more too, she could kill two birds with one stone.

Hitomi walked upstairs towards Mary's office, pausing outside the door. Mary, being so happy and perky, made her at ease, but the young woman was still foreign in this household, and always remembered her place, so she knocked.

"Come in," Mary's voice carried through the door beautifully. As Hitomi pushed the door open she took a deep breath. She couldn't understand why she was suddenly nervous.

"Hi." Was all Hitomi could say as she stood in front of Mary's desk.

"Hi... What's up?" Mary sounded curious, like she really wanted to know, like she really cared.

" I wanted to know- " Hitomi stopped herself mid sentence.

"... Yes?" Mary was starting to sound worried.

"Well, it's just... What's wrong with Van?" There, she had finally asked the question that had been haunting her since that first day.

"Van? Why do you think something's wrong with him?"

"Well, he's always so distant. At first I thought it must be because he didn't like me or something, but then... He's like that to every one, and sometimes his eyes just get cold, and he seems sad, and then... I want to help, but I can't. I don't even know him." Unexplainable tears were welling up in her eyes as she said these last words. Mary felt her heart go out to Hitomi, not for the first time.

"HItomi... You've got to understand there are things in his past you may never know, or remember, some things even he doesn't know about. But don't, don't try to take his past on your shoulders, together there's far too much, even alone, you've both too much to carry. If it helps any, you know him better than you think."

Just then, they heard the door slam downstairs, Hitomi went down to check. As she hurried down the stairs she could hear shouts of anger coming from the living room. She arrived just as Van hurled a small vase against the far wall. It crashed noisily.

Upstairs, Mary could hear the crashing from downstairs. She knew what had happened, she didn't need to watch this again. It would be good for Hitomi, she hoped.

Hitomi just stood there, in the entrance watching as Van cursed a man's name she couldn't recall. Gaou... who was he? As he swore he'd never talk to this man again, Hitomi decided this must be what he did those days after school, talked to this man. But why? Why would Van talk to a man he hated? - Well that was obvious, he wasn't going to talk to him anymore.

"Van?" She asked timidly, when he had stopped yelling... and throwing stuff... and... Well it wasn't over.

"WHAT?!" He shouted at her, the anger evident on his face. Now, Hitomi wasn't sure if Van was only mad at this Gaou, or at her as well. She began to tremble.

"Wh- what's wrong?"

"None of your business!" He shouted.

"Is it anyones?" Hitomi retorted, feeling more insulted than scared all of a sudden. This simple, steady statement startled Van, making him look away so quickly.

"Maybe... But she's only in my dreams... I don't even know if she's really out there." Van replied distantly before looking into her vivid green eyes. " It's like she's a memory, someone not all there."

"Oh." Hitomi said quietly.

"Forget it, you wouldn't understand." Van had given up. His anger had subsided only to give way for another emotion, or many. He was confused, and furthermore, at a loss of words for this green eyed stranger.

"You wouldn't know how wrong you are." She finished the conversation. Heading to the kitchen to work on her homework.