RANDOM MISADVENTURES IN THE POKÉMON WORLD

Written by BansheeGirl

Disclaimer: None of the characters in this story belong to me. I will in this fanfic make several references to other books/movies/songs etc., which also are not my property. I am not making any money out of this! I write merely for your enjoyment! Please review after reading! Thankyou!

VOLUME 5

"Ewww! Gross!" Ash exclaimed, pointing his finger at the ugly, deformed creature that was Tracey Sketchit. Each member of the group took a moment to gaze upon Tracey in order to fully analyse and acknowledge the complete and utter vulgarity of the being before them.

That was when he pounced.

In a matter of seconds Tracey had knocked Ash to the ground. The filthy creature was madly clawing at the Pokémon trainer's neck, while Ash flailed his arms about wildly with his eyes clenched tightly shut, screaming at the top of his lungs like a girl.

"It is mine! Gives it to me, my pre- errr… I mean… lovelinesssss!" Tracey hissed, who was now standing on top of Ash. He was frantically trying to wrench the One Camera from the boy's neck.

After Misty, Brock, Pikachu, Professor Oak and Team Rocket enjoyed a few blissful moments of watching Ash being mauled by an emaciated creature wearing an orange headband, Brock and James finally yanked Tracey away. They tied him to a tree with some leftover noodles and each grabbed a pointy stick to poke Tracey in the ribs while the others came over to investigate the creature's appearance.

Misty walked up to look in Tracey's bulging, malformed eyeballs. "Tracey! What happened to you? You look so… so…"

"Thin?" Meowth helpfully added.

"Exactly! I hardly recognised you!" Misty grinned in awe.

Tracey hissed again. He squirmed about as James and Brock continued to poke him in the ribs with pointy sticks, but the noodles held him firmly in place. "Gives it to me! Now! It isss my lovelinesssss!"

Confused expressions appeared on everyone's faces. Those McDonalds thickshakes sure had a nasty brain freeze effect.

Finally Professor Oak spoke. "You see, my children-"

"-Um, I'm not sure I'm really comfortable with an old guy wearing a dress referring to us as his 'children'," Jessie cut in, eyeing the tacky white lab coat that the professor was dressed in, "None of us are your children. So just… just don't." The fiery-haired girl seemed to be rather disturbed.

A nervous look appeared on Professor Oak's face as he anxiously glanced to and from Ash. "Ah… yes... I guess… you're right," he laughed uneasily, hoping no one would notice the tension in his voice. Luckily Pikachu had found more pointy sticks and everyone was too busy poking Tracey.

"Anyway, as I was saying…" The Professor gathered himself to begin speaking once more. The others turned to look at the old man, whilst still repeatedly pushing their pointy sticks into the noodle-restrained creature. "This creature… whom I believe was once an associate of yours…"

Ash and Misty blushed with embarrassment. Letting Tracey tag along with them throughout the Orange Islands was certainly a mistake they would never forget. It seemed to be rank along with certain other mistakes… such as that incident at the Indigo Plateau involving Gary's cheerleaders, seven bottles of whisky, a chainsaw and several large suitcases. But that, of course, is another story for another day. Hey – do you think it's just a coincidence that those cheerleaders seem to have suddenly disappeared?

"Indeed, Tracey became my own assistant back at my laboratory in Pallet Town for a while," Professor Oak continued. "This creature you see before you is a direct example of what the One Camera can do to a person. If you do not succeed in destroying the One Camera in the toxicity of Jessie's hair gel, Ash, you will become just like Tracey…"

Ash stood stunned. His eyes welled up with tears. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" PLEASE, NO! ANYTHING BUT THAT!" The young boy collapsed to the ground in a distraught mess. Misty bent down to lovingly console him.

At the sign of affection between Ash and Misty, a smile appeared on James' face and he smirked at Jessie. She whacked him over the head with her pointy stick.

"But when did Tracey ever have the One Camera, Professor?" Brock asked.

The professor gave a solemn look to the squinty-eyed boy. "That is the dreadfulness of it all, Brock. The One Camera is so powerful that Tracey did not even have to possess it for it to destroy him."

Professor Oak was met with expressions of misunderstanding. Or rather, expressions of no understanding whatsoever.

He sighed. "As you know, Tracey called himself a 'Pokémon Watcher'. His annoying habit of pulling out his sketchbook to draw anything of complete uninterestingness I'm sure is familiar to you all. And what made this trait even more annoying was the fact that his sketches looked like the scribbles of a three-year old. Who was born with no fingers. And was blind."

The humans and Pokémon before Professor Oak nodded in mutual agreement. Tracey hissed and flailed against the tree.

"Anyway, despite Snap, the Annoying Photographer's pathetically poor handiwork at his chosen art, nobody could deny that his photographs nevertheless were more lifelike than Tracey's petty sketches. And this drove Tracey mad with envy. He wanted to steal the One Camera; steal its power. And so that search to steal the One Camera has brought Tracey to this grotesque state, and has brought him before us here today."

Everybody stood in silence, processing the information that Professor Oak had just relayed.

"Gives it to me! I needs it! My lovelinesssss!" Tracey screamed.

Again, silence.

"Sooooo… what do we do now?" Ash finally asked the professor. All eyes turned to the old man.

Professor Oak scratched his chin in thought. His eyes suddenly lit up with realisation. Beaming, he held up the bottom end of his white staff. Coincidentally, it was pointy. Ash, Misty, Brock, Pikachu and Team Rocket grinned.

For the next hour the fellowship took pleasure in poking Tracey with their pointy sticks. Yet as the sun began to set, they realised that it was time to continue their journey to once and for all destroy the One Camera. With remorse, everyone tossed their sticks away into the forest.

"What do we do about Tracey?" Misty asked.

Professor Oak looked to the pathetic, emaciated creature, who was now bleeding from a series of pinprick wounds all over his body. "Oh, just leave him there. If we're lucky the Rattata's will eat the rest of him before morning."

Seeming satisfied with this answer, the fellowship turned and began walking once again toward the haze of purple fog far in the distance, leaving the excruciated cries of Tracey behind. To pass the time, everyone sang "This is the song that never ends…" from Lambchops. That is, all except for Brock, who had decided to knit a green beret. After constantly crashing into trees – not because he couldn't walk and knit at the same time, but because he had no eyes – Brock reluctantly decided to put away the knitting until the group could come to a rest.

As it was, Professor Oak decided that the group should stop for the night. As luck would have it, right at the very moment the professor announced this, a Pokémon Centre appeared. Right there in the middle of the forest.

The group of people and Pokémon walked into the Pokémon Centre. A Nurse Joy greeted them… uh, joyfully. A wave of calm seemed to wash over the fellowship as they finally relaxed to settle down for the night. Professor Oak decided to go straight to sleep, but this appeared to be quite a task as Pikachu had super-glued his eyes open. Misty cooked four kilograms of seafood marinara, which she then went on to devour all by herself. Ash did some light reading on ancient theatre styles. Brock played strip poker with Meowth. Jessie and James made out in the medicine closet.

And Nurse Joy? Well, she made a very important telephone call…

"Hello? Master Snap, is that you?

…

I have some very important information for you…

…

What? Oh, wait, let me just see… Um, they're pink. With frills.

…

Yes. Anyway, I thought you'd like to know that a certain camera has arrived at the Pokémon Centre tonight. I trust you shall be arriving soon.

…

I will see you in a few hours then.

…

Uh, no… they haven't changed. They're still pink.

…

Yes, I'm sure!"

Hey guys! Hope you are liking this fic! PLEASE review and tell me what you think. I really don't want to be wasting my time continuing this story if nobody is enjoying it. Believe me, I'd rather you tell me it's stupid now than getting to the tenth chapter and suddenly realising, "Hey… I haven't gotten ANY reviews for the last five chapters! This story is crap!"

So please let me know what you think! Muchly appreciated - I highly value my reviewers!

Till Next Time,

BansheeGirl.