I don't know you anymore

I don't recognize this place

the picture frames have changed

we don't talk anymore,

we keep running from the pain

the snow is more lonely than cold if you know what I mean

keep that chin up you'll be all right

I Don't Know You Anymore

Hitomi walked home that day, she had a lot to think about. How did she remember that stuff? Why had she forgotten? Wait. What am I talking about? It's just a coincidence, just because he remembers something similar means nothing... Right? But how did he remember the screaming... And the spinning... Hitomi raised a hand to sweep her hair from her eyes, only to notice she was crying. So stupid... It's not like I know this guy, just because his mom... I mean his dad... How could they?

Hitomi decided it was nothing; at least that's what she told herself. As usual, when she got home the huge mansion was empty. Only living here a few weeks Hitomi still hadn't looked around much. As she climbed the stairs to the second floor she reveled in the soft carpet under her feet. Yes this was an amazing house, and even though she was lonely, she was thankful for Marie and her support.

Walking down the long hallway Hitomi stopped and looked in many doors. She was surprised, she knew it was a big house, but Hitomi had already counted 8 bedrooms and 3 offices! Hitomi found many interesting rooms with all sorts of things, from antique furniture to exercise equipment. There were so many fireplaces and balconies, it was practically a mansion.

How could Aunt Marie afford this all? Hitomi thought, but then realized that it had probably been an inheritance. Lucky...

Down the hall Hitomi noticed there was a door standing slightly ajar, she decided to check it out. Passing a couple rooms she hadn't explored, Hitomi pushed the door open a bit more to see inside. She found a huge library. There were rows and rows of bookshelves, with old volumes that she was sure had amazing stories held within. The room smelled of leather and an ancient smell that reminded her of something long ago. Tall windows were letting in all the light to be found from the darkening clouds outside. There were shadows all around, making an eerie effect that Hitomi didn't want to acknowledge.

At one end of the long room she saw a low row of books, bound in old leather with dates written on the sides on slips of purple paper. She walked over and pulled out the one that read 1970. Opening up the book, she found that it wasn't a book at all, but a scrapbook with pictures of what looked like a family of 4. There was a mother and father, with two small girls at a park. The trees were lush and green, and there was a pond, sparkling and blue, under a sky just as deep. It was a beautiful photo. Hitomi looked at the girls a little closer and realized that one of the girls was Marie, with little curly pigtails and bright green eyes, like hers. Little Marie had a bright smile on her face, and she was smiling and the other little girl who Hitomi realized was her own mother. This girl was a little older, with straighter hair, worn in two braids instead, her eyes were the same verdant green. They all looked so happy. Hitomi flipped through the album, seeing pictures of a family she barely knew.

Hitomi noticed that there were many more of these scrapbooks, all with the year written on purple slips. Next she chose a more recent one: 1992. She would have been four. Hitomi was curious to know if she was in these picture books. She wanted to see her past, Hitomi couldn't really remember too much before she was about 6, when she had broken her arm.

Flipping to the first page, Hitomi was surprised to see her younger self sitting under a Cherry Blossom tree with a great big sandwich. Her mouth was full and she seemed to be having trouble fitting anymore in. Little Hitomi was smiling as well as she could with a mouth full of sandwich. Looking closer Hitomi was shocked to see how much she resembled her mother at the age of four. Smiling a sad smile Hitomi thought about their last moments together. At least her mother had been happy, along with her father... Before the accident.

She continued looking through this book for a while, intrigued by this bit of her history. It wasn't much, but right now it was her only key to a past she'd forgotten. A part of her life she found necessary to understand in order to move on.

Looking though the scrapbook Hitomi saw moments of her family's history, it seemed as though the went through the seasons starting with early spring, and moving through to where she was now. Early fall. It seemed these books held more than one would first imagine. Hitomi had already flipped through two dozens pages, slowly, wonderingly.

Hitomi paused, sighing calmly. But what she saw next shocked her. A picture of her four year-old self, under a huge oak tree, with a certain maroon eyed boy she'd seen in her dreams, and now as a reality. It was a great shot though, she had to admit. It was a picture of her and the garnet-eyed boy laying on the grass beneath the leaves of the great tree. The two children were laughing, and with them, their eyes smiled too. It was just so utterly pure, and with that thought Hitomi unknowingly, began to cry again, over a half-memory. It seemed as though no matter how hard she tried, the rope around her heart wouldn't let up at all, and with all of Aunt Marie's support, and love she couldn't make it any better.

Realizing that the photo wasn't really inserted in to the book, Hitomi picked it up and flipped it over absentmindedly. She saw for the first time in, tiny, neat writing, there was written: Hitomi and Van, Sept. 25,1991.

Van? As in... Van Fanel? But that doesn't make sense... Hitomi thought to herself.

"What are you talking about? That makes perfect sense, stop being an idiot and face the facts, you knew him, for some reason, and that means he could help you remember..." Hitomi snapped to herself. Oh great, now I'm talking to myself... and thinking to myself...

"Gah!" Bringing her hands to her face in frustration, she found that her face was wet, the tears she'd thought were all gone were back. Stupid tears. This only succeeded in making her anguish more unbearable.

Forcing herself to keep looking through these pictures, Hitomi found more photos showing scenes of her lost childhood. Pictures of her and her family, of her alone, but mostly with her and the boy called Van... Van...

I don't know you anymore

I don't recognize this place

The picture frames have changed...

The snow is more lonely than cold if you know what I mean

Van had looked around the school for half an hour after the last bell. Why does this stupid school have to be so big? He thought irritably. He'd checked Hitomi's locker, her last class, all of the bathrooms... They were empty okay?

Finally, Van gave up, deciding that she'd probably gone home already. Walking past his Psych class he heard Mr. Ya's voice, calling him into talk.

Great...

Sitting down in the chair across from Mr. Ya in his tiny office Van fought the urge to groan.

"Van, is it? I'm happy I caught you today, I was hoping we could discuss what happened today during your dream regression assignment." Mr. Ya said this like a question, his expression hopeful, yet confused.

Van didn't answer right away, he was worried, but he couldn't tell why. Fighting of his nerves he nodded in consent.

"Good, so I'd like to ask you a few questions," Mr. Ya began, noticing how Van's eyes didn't waver at all. " Starting with... How long have you known Hitomi Kanzaki?"

Couldn't you ask an easier one to start? Damnit...

"I don't actually know." Came the simple reply.

"You don't know her? Or you don't know how long you've known her?" Mr. Ya inquired.

"I don't know how long I've known her."

"Well, when did you meet her?" Mr. Ya seemed confused now.

"Hitomi came to live with me and Marie less than a month ago, but I think I've known her longer." Mr. Ya seemed to see this as a secret message, inscribed in an ancient tomb. He stared at Van for a long time, waiting for a flinch, a twitch, any sign that the boy was lying. But no sign came.

We don't talk much anymore,

"I'm not lying." Breaking the silence, Van was annoyed by now. He couldn't be left to his own thoughts anymore, yet that was all he wanted. He needed to know why this was happening. Why... in a place he'd known as home for years, he felt lonely... Even if he had a past, or part of one with this girl... Would it make him feel any better?

We keep running from the pain,

After another long pause, Mr. Ya told Van that he believed him, and asking to tell Hitomi to meet him after class the next day, Mr. Ya left Van sitting in the office. Alone with his thoughts.

What I wouldn't give to see your face again...

keep that chin up you'll be all right