RANDOM MISADVENTURES IN THE POKÉMON WORLD
Written by BansheeGirl
Disclaimer: None of the characters in this story belong to me. I will in this fanfic make several references to other books/movies/songs etc., which also are not my property. I am not making any money out of this! I write merely for your enjoyment! Please review after reading! Thankyou!
VOLUME 7
A limp Nurse Joy fell to the floor, her lifeless body still twitching with electric charges. Brock knelt down beside her, tears streaming down his face.
"My love! My one, dear, true love! How could you betray me! And look what this betrayal has done! It has fried you! Fried your very muscles so that they compare only to the French fries we bought at McDonalds just yesterday! How could you! How could you do this to me!" Brock sobbed uncontrollably. Secretly he slipped off her shoes and shoved them down his pyjama pants. Hey – there was no sense in leaving them there to waste. It wasn't as if she needed them anymore.
The group's attention was suddenly shifted from the slightly melodramatic scene before them as a multitude of Lego blocks were sent flying across the room.
Standing where the door had once been was none other than Snap, the Annoying Photographer. He wiped away the Corn Flakes crumbs from around his mouth, and began to laugh maniacally.
"Give the camera to me now, fool!" Snap bellowed, holding his arm out toward Ash. A cute little charm bracelet jingled on his wrist.
"No!" Ash retorted, running away. To the other side of the room.
"You will regret those words!" Snap yelled.
For some reason Snap's threat did not have the intended effect on his prey. Everyone stood around with confused looks on their faces instead of shrinking away in fear. Alas, it appeared that this was merely due to a simple grammatical error. "Uh… actually, Ash only said one word, Snap." James corrected.
Snap's eyes turned to the purple-haired Rocket. Boiling with anger, he hurled a javelin through James' chest.
Screams filled the second-floor common room as James fell to the floor, blood spurting out of his body where the javelin entered his chest, and again on the posterior aspect of his body where the point of the javelin protruded from his back.
Snap again laughed evilly, gripping his stomach with the mere pain of laughing so hard. This was soon halted, however, as he was knocked to the ground by a certain fiery haired and coincidentally fiery-tempered girl. Jessie pinned him to the ground, and revealed a weapon that made everyone in the room gasp.
It was her pointy stick.
Little had the group previously known that Jessie had in fact been unable to part with her treasured torture device, and had kept it for when she would need it once again.
That time was now.
Furiously Jessie stabbed Snap with the stick. She stabbed and stabbed and stabbed again, until Snap finally found the strength to shove a roll of duct tape up her nose. In Jessie's few stunned moments, Snap quickly took the chance to tie her to a chair and feed her a bucket of tuna-flavoured pudding before washing it all down with a gallon of strawberry Quik.
Still tied to the chair and verging on delirium, Jessie hung her head in defeat.
Snap stood victoriously, challenging the other members of the fellowship. Despite the series of bleeding pinprick wounds dotted across his body and an extremely bad haircut, the Annoying Photographer now seemed stronger than ever.
"GIVE ME THE CAMERA!" He boomed, strands of saliva flying from his mouth with the pronunciation of every word.
"Make me, you big doodle-brain!" Ash yelled, trying to make his threat sound as menacing as he could.
Fire burned in Snap's eyes. Literally. His eyes were on fire. He thrashed about uncontrollably, waving his arms all around and just running running running like a constipated wiener dog.
"Quick!" Professor Oak yelled. "This is Snap's one weakness! He has a syndrome where his eyeballs can spontaneously burst into flames at any given time! Now is our chance to escape!"
As the fire from Snap's eyeballs leapt from his body onto the carpet, the doorway leading into the corridor and downstairs became blocked by a wall of flame. There was only one way out.
"Geronimo!" Professor Oak cried as he smashed through a window and fell helplessly to the ground below. Similar cries were made as the rest of the fellowship threw themselves out of the second-storey window. Miraculously (do do do do do do do do) no one was hurt, and the six humans, Pikachu and Meowth escaped into the forest beyond. After running for approximately nine-and-a-half seconds, the group collapsed to the ground, exhausted from their dangerously close brush with death.
Through the trees the group watched as the structure of the Pokémon Centre crumpled to the ground in flames. The agonising wail of the hundreds of caterpie that had been clinging to the Centre's walls was all that could be heard for miles. The group took a moment to quietly relish the macabre symphony.
"Will Snap have survived?" Ash finally questioned.
Professor Oak sighed. "I don't know, Ash. I just don't know. I do not know the true extent of his power. But I am truly doubtful that anyone can cheat death."
"Can someone help get this thing out of me?" James piped, gripping the javelin protruding from his chest and trying desperately to yank it out.
"James?" Jessie exclaimed disbelievingly. She jumped forward on the chair she was tied to. "You're alive!"
James shrugged, while Ash and Brock slid the long spear from the Rocket's torso. "Of course I did. I was wearing a javelin-proof vest." He looked down where the javelin once stuck out from his chest. There was no blood to prove that he had previously been impaled upon anything of the sort; his jacket was now simply torn slightly in the places where a spear-like object might have skewered him.
As James walked over to untie Jessie from her chair, the group watched one last time as the Pokémon Centre was razed to the ground.
"Hey Misty, where's Togepi?" Brock asked.
"Togepi is in my bag. He's been sleeping in there ever since yesterday morning," Misty explained.
Brock faltered. "Isn't your bag… back in the Pokémon Centre?"
Misty's eyes widened. "Oh… whoops…"
The others exchanged glances. An awkward moment of silence followed.
"Well, I never really liked the thing anyway. It was such a hassle to carry around all the time. It's a bit of a relief, actually. Having it burned to a crisp, I mean." Misty said offhandedly.
Ash and Brock sighed with relief. They too were glad of the egg-beast's sudden demise. They were only sorry that the group had not been able to salvage any of Togepi's remains to serve as scrambled eggs for breakfast. Daylight was breaking and stomachs were beginning to rumble.
"Well, come on. We'd better keep going. We have no idea if Snap survived, so the quest to destroy the One Camera must still be fulfilled, lest we all end up like Togepi." Professor Oak was met with unenthusiastic expressions.
Sighing, he continued. "If we're lucky there'll be another McDonald's on the way and we can stop for breakfast."
With a show of instant smiles the fellowship continued on their way, trekking though the forest in their pyjamas en route for the Team Rocket encampment. With Professor Oak at the lead in his dashing man-nightie, Ash in pyjama pants and a Care Bears t-shirt, James in naught but boxer shorts (!), Jessie in a scant negligee and Misty in an over-sized t-shirt (of course with suspenders to hold her… uh, underpants up), the group were content with the knowledge that they blended in with the natural foliage of the forest environment.
Oh, and of course Brock brought up the rear wearing his trusty flannelettes. And Nurse Jenny's white high-heeled shoes. And a knitted green beret…
Ha ha! Sorry if that little chappie was a bit violent for anyone! But these things just had to happen! To accept randomness, the possibility of very violent and bad-sounding things must also be accepted! You have been warned!
On that note… please review this story! Free green berets for every reviewer! And I'll throw in James' boxer shorts if you can identify the CD I was listening to when I wrote this chappie! Teehee!
And if anyone is worried about the recurrences of McDonalds in this fic, do not be alarmed! I am not an obsessive McDonalds maniac! In fact, I don't even like McDonalds! I hate all McDonalds food! I think it should be banned! It is evil! EVIL!
Till Next Time (which might be a little while, seeing as my school holidays finish today and tomorrow I must bear the pain of heading back to one of the many slave-driving institutions we all know and love),
BansheeGirl.