Chapter 3- Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs

Gilderoy Lockhart strolled into his office after dinner, and sat down with a book on memory charms. He was just getting to a chapter entitled: "Quick Memory Charms- for when you're in a pinch" when a knock came at the door. "Er...uh..come in!" said Lockhart, hastily shoving the book in a hidden drawer in his desk. Professor Trelawney slowly opened the door and entered the room, closing the door behind her.

"Why hello Professor Trelawney! Your first name's Sibyll isn't it? Mind if I call you Sibyll?" Without waiting for an answer, Lockhart motioned towards a chair in front of his desk. "Please, have a seat." he said, smiling...well charmingly.

Trelawney did not sit down right away. "I was looking at my Crystal Ball and lo and behold, I saw you in it. Well, who am I to challenge my own crystal ball? So I hurried down right away. I trust you are better from your fall, of course." She sat down.

Lockhart chuckled. "Well, yes..." he said. "Madam Pomfrey was able to fix me up in no time- the hardest part for her was getting rid of that hex the Weasley twins put on me. They had me singing 'I'm A Little Teapot'! Naturally, I'm sure they meant no harm by it...I'm sure it was a friendly joke on their part." Lockhart smiled again, and Trelawney stared. Did the man ever stop smiling? It was the strangest thing she'd ever seen. He coughed. "Well" he began. "So how did your first day of term go? No one else fell down the ladder, I hope." Lockhart chuckled at what he appeared to think was a joke, and nudged Trelawney. He had sat down in the chair next to her.

Trelawney sighed. "It did not go very well at all. Few students here possess the Inner Eye to truly excel at the noble art of divination. If they do not posses the Inner Eye, I can teach them little. The 4th years today were supposed to be starting with their planetary charts, but they simply kept singing 'I'm a Little Teapot' when they thought I couldn't hear them."

Lockhart smiled "Ah, good old planetary charts- always had fun in Divination class, I did. Of course, all of my predictions said I would be amazingly handsome, wonderfully famous, and ridiculously rich. And look at me now- all my predictions came true." Trelawney did not respond, so Lockhart continued. "I was quite thrilled at how today turned out. My 2nd years...well obviously it was before lunch...I set some cornish pixies loose on them, and they seemed quite impressed by it."

"By cornish pixies?" said Trelawney, doubtfully.

"Well, they were freshly caught cornish pixies, you see."

Trelawney nodded, and looked at Lockhart like he was crazy. "Of course" she said.

"Fred! Fred, look at this! Man, life does not get any better than this!" shouted George, looking at the Marauder's Map. They were in a hallway by the transfiguration classroom trying to think up new ways to cause havoc. Fred walked closer and George pointed at a tiny dot on the map labeled "Sibyll Trelawney". It was walking out of a room labeled "Defense Against The Dark Arts Office". They both stared at the map.

Fred smiled. "What would we do without good old Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs?"

George grinned back and said "I've got an idea...but we'll have to convince Angelina, Alicia, and maybe Katie to help us out."

"Oh, I'm sure they'll be glad to help play a prank on Trelawney and Lockhart." said Fred.

"Well..." George said. "they may not be very keen on this one..."

"NO WAY" shouted Angelina, when Fred and George returned to the common room to divulge their plan. "There is no way either of you can convince me to pretend to fancy Lockhart, even if it is only for 30 seconds!"

Katie and Alicia agreed. "She's right." said Katie. "I wouldn't pretend to fawn over Lockhart if you paid me."

Fred and George grinned, as Fred pulled 3 galleons out of a pocket of his robes. "Not even for a whole galleon?"

The three chaser girls were unperturbed. "Please" begged George. "It's for a good cause. Look, all you have to do is distract Lockhart for a few seconds while I put this fake love note from Trelawney on his desk."

"Look" said Fred. "How's this? We won't pull any pranks on you three for...three whole days!"

Fred got nothing but raised eyebrows.

"All right...a week?"

Angelina grabbed a Galleon out of Fred's hand. "Deal." Katie and Alicia followed suit. "But you so owe us one." she said shaking the Galleon at his face. "And if you pull any tricks on us before next Wednesday, I'm going to have to hurt you."

"Please write an essay 9 inches in length, telling in your own words how I managed to battle the Yeti when I was already under the totrificalus curse." said Lockhart. "Due on Monday. Class dismissed."

The Weasley twins looked meaningfully at Alicia and Angelina as the other Gryffindor students hurried out of the classroom. Alicia ended up being the brave soul to speak first. She pulled out a spare bit of parchment from her robes and walked up to Lockhart. She smiled dreamily. "Professor Lockhart...I was wondering if you would autograph this for me." Lockhart's face lit up. "Ah, a fan! I most certainly will!" He pulled a quill out of his robes, and happily signed the parchment. As he did, Angelina and Katie meandered up to him with their own parchments. The 3rd years were on break, so Katie had been waiting outside the classroom for class to be over.

"Could you sign ours too?" asked Angelina.

Lockhart smiled down at them "Certainly! Certainly!" He seemed positively gleeful. Behind him, the three girls could see that George had not quite reached Lockhart's desk yet, as he was having to be extra quiet.

"You know, Professor" said Katie. "I simply LOVED Year with the Yeti. I think it might be my favorite."

Alicia decided to chime in as well. "Oh but not nearly as fascinating as Travel with Trolls!"

Angelina smiled innocently and said "Oh I couldn't possibly pick a favorite. They're all so wonderfully written, and it's just amazing what you were able to do!"

George couldn't help but grin to himself as he put the note on Lockhart's desk. If he didn't know any better, he'd think they really DID fancy Lockhart. He slowly sneaked out of the room, and out into the corridor, where Fred was standing with the Marauder's Map to make sure no one caught them. George grinned mischieviously "Mission accomplished." Fred tapped the map with his wand and said "Mischief managed", then stowed the map in his robes. It was several minutes before Katie, Angelina, and Alicia joined the twins in the hallway, and they looked absolutely furious. "This is just GREAT." Angelina fumed as they headed to their next classes. "Now he thinks we're in love with him or something. The only way we managed to get out of there was because he realized he had an interview with someone from The Daily Prophet."

Fred laughed. "Trust me...once he reads that note, he'll think Trelawney's the one that loves him. And that, my dear, will make it all worth it."Alicia smiled "Ah ah ah- you two aren't getting off that easy." she waved a note of her own in front of them. "See, you two are going to distract Trelawney while I put THIS on HER desk."

George gaped at her. "But Alicia, that wasn't part of the plan! The point was that Lockhart would go out to the lake to meet his love and realize he'd been tricked! Or better yet, he wouldn't realize it, and would be heartbroken that Trelawney didn't show up, and then we can laugh at him!"Katie smiled. "We had a better idea. If they both go out there, that means they DO fancy each other, and then we can REALLY laugh at them. Not to mention it would be kinda cute."

Fred and George knew there was no way to get around it. They reluctantly agreed, the bonus for them being that it made Divination class a lot more interesting when they told Professor Trelawney that they'd seen the Grim in each other's planetary charts.