Three blondes walk into a bar. (you figure one of them would have seen it) :P

Pyro went back to the Acolytes super secret base in a happier mood than usual, not seeming to care that it was now very dark out. Coming through the door, he met a very confuzzled Remy.

"Mon ami, where were you?" said Remy, raising an eyebrow, "I thought you'd meet me by de bike."

"Oopsie-doodle," said a sheepish John. "'guess I forgot mate, sorry."

"How did you get home den?"

"Walked" said Pyro, still in a mood parallel to someone who is currently as high as a kite.

"In de dark?"

"Yup"

"In de rain?"

"Yup"

"Three questions Mon ami; Where were you, how much did you drink while you were there, and why didn' you bring some home with you?"

"I was, er, not trying to burn down the school?" nice save Johnny boy! That'll fool 'em

"Um, oui?"

"Yes…" said Pyro, edging away… right into a very pissed off Sabertooth. "heh heh, 'ello mate?"

?????????????????Chapter?Line?Dance??????????????

"Grrrrrsnarelgrowlglaresnarelgrrrr," said Sabertooth, "Rawrhissgrowlsnarel glareroargrrrrr." and for those of you who don't speak stupid-furball that translates roughly into "Magneto sent us a message and wishes to speak to all of us at once."

"Oui monsieur!" said Remy, dragging John who was still all happy and skippy to the control room.

Inside the huge metallic-looking room was a very worried, metallic-looking Colossus.

"Hello comrades, you took your time yes?"

"Sorry Mon ami, we had to wait for John."

"Sorry mate," said Pyro, "I was busy not trying to burn down Bayville High." way to stick to your story John!

"For three an' a half hours non?"

"Erm, yeah…"

"Snarelgrowlgrrrrrawrgrowlgrrr." or; "I believe that he located a supply of narcotics and proceeded to intoxicate himself."

"WHAT!?! That's right crazy mate!"

"Den what were you doin' den?"

"I told you!"

"I mean de real story."

"Grrhowlsnarelrwrgrr" I still stand strongly behind my original belief that he found drugs.

"But…"

"Pyro! You know our "policy" on drugs as much as Remy himself does. WHY DIDN"T YOU SHARE???"

"Yes comrade! That was mean to us!"

"FINE!!! I was at an ice cream shop!"

"An ice cream shop?"

"YES!!"

"You do realize dat ice cream is cold oui?"

"Yes…"

"So… Why were you at an ice cream shop?"

"'Cause the sheila I was with-"

"Hold on comrade, you went to the ice cream shop with your lighter?"

"No goose, I didn't go with THE sheila, I went with A sheila."

"So you found yourself a fille?"

"Yes."

"Alright den! Dat makes everyone except-"started Remy, but the rest of his comment was lost in the huge sobs coming from Sabertooth.

"Whineshreikhowlsobgrrrrsnarelwhinegrowl!" choked out Sabertooth.

"Except de hairball."

"It's alright comrade! You'll find the right girl eventually!"

"Whinesobshriekcrygrowlwhinesob!"

"Yes, I really do believe that there is someone out there for you" comforted a somewhat disturbed Poitr.

"Sobwhinegrowlcrysob?"

"Er, yes? I guess Logan could count as the right "girl"…right comrades?"

"Oui? Well, to each deir own as dey say…"

"Sure mate…"

Sabertooth: "GROWLSNARELROARGRRHOWLSNAREL!!!"

Queen of Gambitia: "I was just kidding I swear! What ever you to do together is your own business!

enter Logan

Sabertooth: SNARELGRRRHOWLROAR!!!"

Logan: "She said WHAT?!?!?!?!?!

Queen of Gambitia: EEEEEPPPP!!!

fin

"Anyway, someone said the Buckethead wanted to talk to us?"

"Right comrade! He sent us an email!"

"Email?"

"Yes," said Poitr, "would you like to read it or just stare at the blank screen stupidly?"

"I'd personally like o sta-"

"NON!!! Just read it before Remy pummels you."

"like you could… " said colossus, opening the message. It said:

From the screen of Eric Lensherr:-

"Woah, is name is Eric?"

"John, just shut up."

From the screen of Eric Lensherr-

Dear Acolytes,

You may have noticed that I have been gone on vacation to gather together the remains of my sanity. While I was on the plane, I made a list of tasks for you to complete by the time I return. Because I am feeling quite vengeful, you each must perform tasks that will probably lead you to crying in a corner before you complete them. Remy must get a job so he can pay for all of the stuff he's blown up, stolen or made sweet sweet love- (A/N: perhaps I wont…) coming to a total of $3729.41

Merdemerdemerdemerdemerdemerdemerdemerdemerdemerdemerdemerdemerde!!!"

­ Pyro must learn to swim, because I'm feeling malicious,

"NNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Victor must buy a teacup poodle to be called "Fluffy" and must take care of it until I return.

"…"

"Where did he go anyway ay mates?"

"Didn't you see the radon unnecessary short that so rudely interrupted the fic?"

"No…"

"Well, Remy did, and Remy also heard de hairball growl something about killing the Queen of Gambitia."

::insert odd look here::

"Um, okay den back to de email…"