Hello, non-reviewing fans of "Pokémon 101"! Shelby Cloyster is back (finally), and I've updated (finally)! I've been busy with writer's block and final exams, but summer's here and I'll be updating as often as possible. Anyway, I've got more great news: at the end of each chapter, I'll be giving details about one of the new Totalo Pokémon I've created (I've only done about 13 so far, but by the time I run out of those, I'll have even more). Also, dialogue in italics is what Pokémon are saying, and dialogue in bold is Jerry's Pokédex talking. Underlining is used for emphasis. Finally, the reason this chapter took me so long is because it is the longest possible chapter for this story, and hopefully I won't have to write another one this enormous. So, here is Chapter Three: Laughter is the Best Medicine! (Yeah, I know there's not much laughter in it, but who cares? It's the best I could come up with!)

Chapter Three: Laughter is the Best Medicine

Patricia Thompson was worried. This wasn't unusual; Patricia worried all the time. How could she not, with her husband working at Nelphor Corporation and her son playing in the woods where wild Pokémon roamed. Patricia was worried for two reasons: Nelphor Corp. Headquarters was in Lyyme City, which was still a far walk from the Thompson's house in Nestenew Town. Granted, she knew Christopher liked to fly home from work on the back of his Pidgeot, but it was raining out and her husband was bound to get soaked to the core, and what if the rain weighed down too much on the poor Pokémon's back and they crashed in the woods? Many kinds of Pokémon inhabited Routes 201 and 202, and Patricia worried that no matter how weak they were, they'd be no match for her husband if his only Pokémon was a downed Pidgeot. Normally, he'd have brought along his Heracross, but the forecast had said nothing about rain, so he'd given the little horned Pokémon to their son for the day. "If Heracross is guarding you, any Pokémon you meet in the woods will be no threat," her husband had said. But Jerry knew that he was supposed to come straight inside when it started to rain whether he was playing in the woods or not. This was the second thing bothering Patricia, and perhaps the most important one. If her son wasn't home soon, he'd be in a load of trouble.

An enormous bird landed in the Thompson's front yard. Unlike most Pidgeots, Christopher Thompson's was considered "shiny." Shiny Pokémon have different DNA than most of their species and are extremely rare, as this "shine" isn't passed on from mother to child. So what's different between Shiny Pokémon and regular Pokémon? Shiny Pokémon are different in their coloration. For example, a regular Pidgeot had brown feathers, a white chest, and red and yellow feathers forming a "hairstyle" of sorts on their head. Christopher's Pidgeot, on the other hand, had gold feathers everywhere but her back, which was still brown. As Christopher returned his Pidgeot, he noticed a shadowy figure creeping into his house, so he rushed forward to protect his wife and son.

Patricia was completely surprised to see her son trudge in through the door without so much as a "Hello, Mom. Sorry I'm home so late!" Her husband was equally surprised to, seconds afterwards, burst through the door to discover that it was his son snooping around their front yard, and was currently laying a blanket down on the living room floor. Before Jerry's flustered mother could ask, "Young man, where have you been?" and before Jerry's equally confused father could question why Jerry was sneaking around outside, Jerry pulled a Pokéball from his belt. As Jerry enlarged it in his hand, he imagined the expressions on his parents' faces when he showed them what he'd done. His mother, he mused, would be furious at him for bringing a wild Pokémon into the house, but the fact that he'd actually caught it in a Pokéball would stun her even more. His father, on the other hand, would be more pleased with his son's handiwork, but would also be bewildered by the fact that Jerry had actually caught his first Pokémon. Deciding not to keep them hanging any longer, Jerry extended his arm, causing the red beam of light to erupt from the ball. The beam took on the form of a very badly hurt Zigzagoon, whom Jerry started to doctor right away. After bandaging two of the Zigzagoon's limbs, Jerry looked up to see his parents' facial expressions exactly the way he had predicted them. What he didn't expect, however, was his father to turn to his mother and say, "Honey, it's time."

"Pokémon School?" questioned Jerry. "Pokémon Schools are for chumps who don't know how to battle. I know how to battle, and we would've beaten that Houndoom with ease if weren't for that #!ing Heracross who wouldn't listen to me."

Jerry had explained the whole situation to his parents: witnessing his first evolution, battling the Houndoom, capturing the injured Zigzagoon, and coming home to doctor it. However, his parents now insisted on sending him to some stupid Pokémon School so he could learn basics he already knew. Or so Jerry thought.

"First of all, honey, don't swear. It's impolite for an eleven-year-old to use those kinds of words. Second of all, the Totalo Pokémon Academy isn't just a regular Pokémon School. It's an elite boarding academy where you'll learn to become an excellent trainer. You may think you know a lot now, but it's nothing compared to what you'll learn at the Pokémon Academy."

"Your mother is right, son. This is a good thing for you. You'll receive a second Pokémon, in addition to your Zigzagoon, when you get there that will be yours to keep forevermore, based on a random test. You'll also learn things about Pokémon that I could never teach you. Why, I don't know half of the things you'll learn in your first year. You'll be studying in subjects such as Pokémon Health & Fitness, Pokémon Coordination, Battling Techniques, History of Pokémon, and many others I don't even know."

"But why can't I just learn from you, Dad? You could train me, and you already have two Pokémon of your own."

Jerry was beginning to doubt the usefulness of this school. His father was already quite an accomplished Pokémon trainer, having actually beaten most of Totalo's ten Gym Leaders. But then his father pulled out a brochure from the Totalo Pokémon Academy, and everything changed.

The Academy's grounds were beautiful, with a sparkly, crystal-clear lake and an amazing forest. The forest, apparently, had wild Pokémon roaming in it that could be caught with the permission of a teacher. Classrooms looked wonderful, and everybody in the picture had excellent-looking Pokémon. Everything about the school seemed different than what Jerry had imagined it would be, so he dropped the brochure and asked his parents, "When do I enroll?"

The little Zigzagoon opened its eyes to find Jerry kneeling over him. The little Tinyraccoon Pokémon looked so sweet as it opened its eyes, yawned, and stared at the strange boy watching over him.

It did not look so sweet when it launched a Pin Missile attack at the boy's face.

As the sharp barbs stung the boy, the Zigzagoon secretly laid three Spikes attacks right in front of himself. This little maneuver would hurt any new Pokémon the boy sent into battle. He hated using the "secret weapons" he had learned at birth, but desperate times called for desperate measures.

Having recovered from the Pin Missile, the boy walked up to the Zigzagoon…slipping on a banana peel, of all things, and landing right in the middle of the spikes.

"Yeeeeeeoooooooowwwwwwwwch!" cried Jerry. He had never felt this much pain (save the Pin Missile from a few moments ago). He ran for the bathroom, crying in pain, but the intensity of said pain had caused him to close his eyes momentarily, so he didn't see that the bathroom door was shut until he actually ran into it.

The Zigzagoon stared at the human, wondering if such antics were normal of their species, decided they weren't, and began to laugh hysterically.

He was still laughing fifteen minutes later when Jerry returned from the bathroom, skin still sore from picking out all the Spikes and Pin Missiles. Seeing the Pokémon laugh at Jerry's misfortune was pretty upsetting.

"Alright, you little troublemaker, stop laughing. I'm not quite used to you, you're not quite used to me, and I don't want to have to bring in my father's Heracross."

"OK, OK, I'll stop laughing. It's just that seeing you fall like that was so darn funny! Hehe, I'll need to remember that for times of sorrow, that fall was gold!"

"Well, that fall wasn't gold for me, and if you don't stop laughing in two seconds you're going to be experiencing a time of sorrow!"

"Well, excuse me, Mr. Sunshine, but…did you just understand what I said? I mean, normally humans just hear us saying 'Ziga Zagoon' or something, but you…what are you?"

"I'm human, in case you haven't figured that out, and I can understand what Pokémon are saying. It all happened when…oh, forget it, let's just cut to the flashback sequence."

You have accessed Jerry's memory banks. What would you like to do?

Search: Espeon; Cross-Reference: Understanding Pokémon; Cross-Reference: Birth

Searching…………………………………………………………

I'm sorry, memory is inaccessible. Reason: Early childhood, memory banks not established at the time. Please try again.

What would you like to do?

Exit.

"OK, so I guess I'll just have to tell you manually. When I was a baby, I went into cardiac arrest and almost died. My mother's Espeon, Sofia, used some sort of psychic trick to save me. In doing so, a rather unusual side effect occurred. For some reason, I can understand Pokémon. Sometimes it can get rather annoying, as it's rather unnerving to hear Pokémon swear. So, why'd you just use Pin Missile on me? I know for a fact that a Zigzagoon at such a low level as you couldn't use it. And what was with those Spikes? Zigzagoons can't even learn that!"

"How'd you know that?"

"Do you really want to go through another flashback sequence?"

"Well, it was kinda funny…"

"Well, you asked for it…"

You have accessed Jerry's memory banks. What would you like to do?

Search: Pokédex; Cross-Reference: Christmas; Cross-Reference: 1998

Searching…………………………………………………………

File Found. Uploading…………………………………………………………

File Uploaded. Commencing Playback…………………………………………………………

Playback Commenced.

"Zooming in on a small boy sitting under a Christmas tree, we see he's very excited with all the Pokémon-themed gifts he's received. Suddenly a woman comes up to him, holding a small box-shaped package (well, duh, all these packages appear to have been box-shaped). She hands it to him, saying politely, 'Here's another one from your father and I.'

'Oh, boy, another present! Let's see what it is!' shouts the young boy. He tears the wrapping paper off the box, and opens it to reveal a small computer the size and shape of a small calculator, but it folds open to double its size. It has a small scanner in the front, two large screens, and a small retractable keyboard. The boy looks gleefully at the small computer, an enormous smile on his face that is only disrupted by a sharp intake of breath. 'Yippee, a Pokédex! This is the best present ever!'

'That's what he said about the last ten presents!' a man whispers to the woman.

'I heard that!' yells the boy. 'But this one really is! It comes with a Field Scanner, a View Screen combined with a Text Viewer, and a…'

'OK, enough about the special features! Is it what you asked for?'

'Definitely, definitely what I asked for! I can't wait to try it out…'

End of memory sequence. What would you like to do?

Exit.

"Well, how's that for a story?"

"Very interesting, to say the least. Can I see it in action?"

"If you insist," Jerry replied. He took out the Pokédex from his medical kit and typed in "Zigzagoon" by extending the hidden keyboard. A staccato, metallic voice filled the room, while text simultaneously scrolled across the Text Viewer, a screen that shows what the Pokédex is saying, in the event that the user is deaf or simply can't hear what the Pokédex is saying due to some loud noise.

"Zigzagoon, the Tinyraccoon Pokémon. Zigzagoon will restlessly wander anywhere because they are curious. A Zigzagoon will become interested in anything it happens to see. The hair on a Zigzagoon's back is bristly, so it will rub this hard back hair on a tree to mark its territory. This Pokémon will play dead to fool foes in battle. Attacks learnt: Tackle and Growl at birth, Tail Whip at Lv. 5, Headbutt at Lv. 9, Sand-Attack at Lv. 13, Odor Sleuth at Lv. 17, Mud Sport at Lv. 21, Pin Missile at Lv. 25, Covet at Lv. 29, Flail at Lv. 33, Rest at Lv. 37, and Belly Drum at Lv. 41. Moves through breeding: Charm, Pursuit, Substitute, Tickle, Trick."

"I take it that next you're going to scan me with that thing?"

"That's the general idea."

"Zigzagoon, the Tinyraccoon Pokémon. Zigzagoon will restlessly wander anywhere because they are curious. A Zigzagoon will become interested in anything it happens to see. The hair on a Zigzagoon's back is bristly, so it will rub this hard back hair on a tree to mark its territory. This Pokémon will play dead to fool foes in battle. This Zigzagoon is at Lv. 2. This Zigzagoon knows Tackle, Growl, Pin Missile, Spikes, Flail, Rest, and Belly Drum. How this is possible I do not know."

"How kind of you to finally get a sense of humor on me. OK, Zigzagoon…wait, I can't just call you Zigzagoon. Do you have a name?"

"No, I was never given one because my people considered me a freak and decided I didn't deserve a name."

"Why'd they do that?"

"Well, in that case, I suppose we could do another flashback…but give me a name first. I don't know how the Flashback Machine will react to having to deal with a nameless Zigzagoon."

"Well, you seem to like attacks that have to do with Spikes, so, why not call you Spikes?"

"I like it. It's very different. It suits me, as I am different from normal Zigzagoons…"

You have accessed Spikes' memory banks. What would like to do?

Search: Namelessness; Cross-Reference: Pin Missile; Cross-Reference: Birth

Searching…………………………………………………………

File Found. Uploading…………………………………………………………

File Uploaded. Commencing Playback…………………………………………………………

Playback Commenced.

"A tranquil forest scene is interrupted by a clearing where two Zigzagoon prepare to battle. One of them begins with a straight-out Tackle attack, is surprised to see the other one drumming on its belly. A crowd of Zigzagoon watch on, horrified because one of the young ones is using Belly Drum…a move they can't learn for many more levels…

Feeling a whole lot stronger yet a whole lot weaker, the second Zigzagoon charges at his opponent, not using a Tackle attack, but rather a Pin Missile, something else newborn Zigzagoon can't use. It then hits its surprised opponent, knocking him out. The tiny Zigzagoon celebrates by pelting it with rounds of a Spikes attack, which Zigzagoon aren't even supposed to know, and finally falling asleep with a Rest attack in order to regain health.

Two female Zigzagoon, one clearly older than the other, then start talking. The younger one looks worried, but the older one looks…well, there's no other way to accurately describe how she looks, other than to say that she looks pissed off.

"Are you sure you don't know what that…thing's father is, Giselle?" begins the older one.

"Mother, don't say that! So I don't know who his father is, does it matter? He's my son!"

"A son who is a freak! You saw the moves he used on my granddaughter, those moves are not normal for a Zigzagoon his age! He should only being tackling and growling at his opponents, and even if he were using something else, like Pursuit, we'd at least know he had a respectable father!"

"How could his father be respectable? I became a mother in the middle of the night, while I was asleep! The only person who knows who my son's father is would be the father himself, and he became a father by…by…"

"Dear, I know your upset about what happened, but we can't help that. The best thing we can do is get rid of your son and pretend this never happened."

"Can I at least give him the honor of having a name?"

"He is a disgrace and doesn't deserve a name! No, take that abomination out of here, and don't come back until he's either dead or in the hands of some trainer!"

"Fine, fine…" grumbles Giselle as she leads her son away.

"Mom, where are we going?" asks the young Zigzagoon, having finally woken up from his nap. He is surprised to find his mother attacking him with Pin Missiles and Covets, so understands when she says, "Just Rest, little one. Everything will be fine soon enough." He walks off with his mother, uses Rest, and falls asleep.

When he woke up, his mother was running off as a pack of Houndour stood over him. He took one out with a Pin Missile and three Flails, but gradually their Ember attacks were wearing him away. One even knew Flamethrower, and after a few close calls and a lot of running, the Zigzagoon gradually got away. However, soon the pack closed in on him, and, after a rather unfortunate incident with an Oddish, the Houndour and their new Houndoom leader looked ready to kill…

End of memory sequence. What would you like to do?

Exit.

"…That's basically my life so far. The rest of it you've been present for. I know, I'm the result of a…very bad thing…and…if you don't want me because I'm a mutant freak, then I'll just leave and see if that Houndoom still wants a piece of me." At the point where Spikes remembered the circumstances of his birth, he started to cry.

"As your trainer, I cannot in good consciousness allow you to face a Houndoom at whose knows what level. You are only at level 2; I still don't know how you managed to defeat that Houndour in your flashback. We are going to train and train and train, probably not until you reach level 13. I am attending the Totalo Pokémon Academy, and I have no idea how strong the trainers there are. I'm not sure if you get in with or without a Pokémon, but I will have to pass some sort of test and get another Pokémon. I have to get you in the best shape you can be in, as I have no idea how difficult this test will be. So, come on, Spikes, it's time to train!"

Not bad, was it? Yes, I know I should have "conscious" instead of "consciousness" in the last paragraph, but I always get those two mixed up and I thought it sounded funny.

This chapter's new Pokémon is Nestling, the Fledgling Pokémon. It's basically a newborn bird incapable of flight, but it can be very useful as it grows older and evolves. It's also the second Ground/Flying Type Pokémon in existance (Gligar is the first), so it can learn such moves as Sandstorm and Dig. It's physical description: basically just imagine a fluffy, rather small Pidgey with feathers of a light brown color and a beak like that of finch with...er, a rather large beak. Itwon't make an appearence in this fanfic, but it will have a fair few in my upcoming fanfic that doesn't have a name as of yet.

And now, for a small preview of the next chapter, Rival Arrival: Jerry arrives at the Pokémon Academy, where he makes new friends...and an enemy. Can Spikes defeat this boy's Pokémon, or was learning a TM not enough? And what is this admission test everybody keeps talking about, and how are Torkoals and Tangelas involved?