Yoshi strikes back at Mario in this stunt, folks. Let's see how...
Responses:
I have none so far. This will be good, though...
The Little Italy Pizza Place in Neonopolis had a visitor that day who wanted to talk to them instead of ordering the usual pineapple pizza. After the waiters and head chef, an old lady, agreed to the stunt, the figure handed them a script to rehearse. Countless hours passed as the figure sat with the workers, determined to perfect the skit. After borrowing a mansion from one of the workers, the figure was satisfied and left, saying he would be back at 12 noon the next day to perform the skit. Waving goodbye, he hopped into a green Carrera GT and drove off.
En route back to the Smash Mansion, one thought crossed Yoshi's mind:
'I hope this works!'
"Luigi."
"Yes-a, Mario?"
"I'm-a going to-a find some-a work." This statement caught Luigi off guard and he dropped the plate he was watching.
"But-a you're a hero! They-a pay big bucks just-a to have you-a in the movies-a! Why-a would you do-a that?"
"I-a know that-a, Luigi." Mario turned to face his brother. "But-a it is as-a they say, 'It's-a lonely at the top.' I-a figure working in a pizza place-a will-a be a nice-a change of-a pace."
"But, brother..."
"Don't-a worry. If-a I don't-a like it, I will-a come back. How-a does that sound-a?"
"Just-a don't get your-a head caught in the-a noose." Luigi went back to his dishwashing. "Try-a asking Yoshi. He-a knows of a pizza place you could-a probably find-a work at."
"I-a hope so..."
Mario had hopped into his red PT Cruiser and drove off, having received an unusually warm reception from Yoshi and the directions to the Little Italy. "Ah...the-a open road. I-a never noticed how beautiful the-a Smash Island is until now. I-a need to get out-a more."
Driving along Route 280 into the Grand Metropolis, he marveled at the many buildings in what was truly a metropolis. He followed the Pasta Plate highway around and got confused a bit, getting lost in the city. He eventually found the route to Neonopolis, however, from a bystander and was well on his way by 10:00 am that morning.
In Neonopolis, Yoshi was getting into costume, a Little Italy co-owner outfit, and rehearsing for the big prank he would pull on Mario today. He had consulted Master Hand before he left via the coastal route; Master Hand had promised hidden cameramen to hide out to film Mario's prank to make it all the more embarrassing. A man came in and said, "There are people with cameras here, Yoshi..."
"Good! I brought them here. Tell them to hide and film it, hidden-camera style, k?"
"Got it."
"Is everyone ready for their performance?" Yoshi asked. After getting a yes from everyone, he smiled. "Oh, this will be so sweet...take your positions, folks!"
Mario had reached the city of Neonopolis, which looked rather tame during the day. At night, though, the lights from the casinos were so bright it could be seen from space, earning the burg the nickname 'Vegas of Nintendo'. Driving around town, Mario said to himself, "Now where is that Third Encore Recording Building...ah, there it is." Passing a tall cylindrical building not unlike the Capitol Records building in L.A., he turned left onto Primrose Drive and stopped in front of a brick building from which the yummy smells of dough, tomatoes and cheese emanated and filled the street. "This-a must be-a it. The-a Little Italia Pizza Kitchen." Walking into the small pizza parlor, he yelled, "Hey-a! I'm-a here for-a the job!"
A bespectacled old lady of seventy-odd years walked up to greet him. "You must be here for the job."
"Of-a course, I said that! When-a do I start?"
"You'll need to talk to the co-owner and my son, Bruno, before you can start." The old lady turned towards the kitchen door and yelled, "BRUNO!"
Yoshi stepped out in the uniform, also wearing a wig and a fake mustache. The good news was he had disguised himself so well that not even his best friend Mario could recognize him. "Yo, ma, ya got sumthin' burning in the kitchen."
"Oh, all right," the old lady said, walking to the table where Mario was seated. 'Here goes nothing...' "Yo, you here for da job?"
"I am." Mario answered.
"Youse got a driver's license?"
"Yep-a." Mario flashed his driver's license at Yoshi. "What's-a my job today?"
"You'll be makin' a 'ouse call to da Reginald Mansion near da edge of town." Yoshi explained, accenting his voice to make it sound Brooklyn. "Dis is Louie." He said, pointing to a rough, Mafia-style man waiting near the door. "Youse gonna bring da pizza into da mansion and set it on da table. Da folks there will give youse an envelope. I'm tellin' you, do not open da envelope. Even dough it's ya paycheck, do not open it, okay?" Mario looked skeptical, but he nodded. Yoshi continued in his Brooklyn accent, "Dis is a family-run business, okay? Dat money in da envelope will be how much day pay us when it's time to get da protection money...if youse open it, den we owe dem money. Dat's why I don't want you to open da envelope."
"Ok...I-a think I get-a your drift..." Mario said calmly. His mind was screaming something totally different, though. 'What-a the heck is this-a? Yoshi, I'll-a make-a you pay for-a recommending-a me to-a this...this...Mafia-like place!'
"Good. Now rememba, don't open da envelope. Jus bring it back here to me, okay?" The old lady came out of the kitchen, and Yoshi said in his Brooklyn accent, "Yo, ma, you put out the fire or whateva it was back dere?"
"I didn't see a fire..." the old lady said.
"Right dere!" Yoshi got up from his seat and pointed into the kitchen at a blotch of red and orange licking up from the stove. "Put it out. Put it out! PUT IT OUT!"
Mario sighed. 'What-a have I-a gotten myself into...?'
Louie was waiting with the pizza and another Mafia dude at the PT Cruiser when Mario came out, jacket on. "Youse has to do dis right, for da boss!"
"Yes-a, I know..." Louie, the guard and Mario all got into the PT Cruiser; Louie and the guard at the back, Mario with the pizza in the front. After starting his car, Mario drove off to Shuster Lane and turned left on Harrowind Avenue past the Chisholm-Perry Tunnel. Another street and a bakery greeted them and bid them farewell before they drove up a private drive and into a small driveway where the target was. "We're-a here..."
"Good. Mac!" Louie snapped his fingers and called the second guard over to him. "'Ook up our bud 'ere, will ya?" Mac obediently brought the box of pizza over to Mario as Louie said, "Put da pizza on the lawn chair." Following his finger, Mario spotted the white seat as he set the pizza carefully onto the seat. Louie had Mario open the pizza box carefully, and then said five words to the Italian plumber.
"What is your name, huh?"
"It's-a Mario..."
"Doesn't matter. Okay, Mario, follow da red brick walkway up to da mansion." Louie pointed to the plantation estate that loomed before him. "Don't, I repeat, don't walk off da path, because I have some pit bulls and German shepherds that'll bite cha ass off, you hear me?"
"I-a got it..." Mario muttered, his mind screaming, 'Help-a me!'
"Good. You'll be met by two people. Put da pizza on da table, and retrieve da envelope. And what is it that you don't do under any circumstances?"
"Open-a it..."
"Very good; you've been listening. Now bring dat pizza to dem." Mario walked up the drive nervously as Louie yelled, "ORDER UP!" Mario sighed; this wouldn't be easy. He strolled up the stairs and into the patio, where two men were sitting at the table, arguing about something criminal. One was bald and dressed in a khaki jacket and black pants; the other had a goatee and wore a trench coat that covered his form. Mario cleared his throat, and that got their attention. The bald one dropped the paper he was holding and strolled over while the other was grinding his cigarette into the ashtray.
"I-a got your order..." Mario squeaked nervously as the two men scrutinized him.
"Put da pie on da table." The bald man directed Mario. After he was done, he asked, "Who youse woikin' for?"
"Some-a dude named Bruno, as-a far as I-a can tell..."
"BRUNO!" The name struck a chord in the bald man, and he turned to his goateed companion and yelled, "DIS IS WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!"
'Holy-a crap...' Mario thought as the goatee man lashed back.
"How was I supposed to know dat Bruno would 'ire dis dude, Vinnie?" The goatee man yelled at his bald-headed comrade. "'Sides, I ain't 'is keeper."
Vinnie yelled, "Well, Rocko, maybe ya should've known he'd pluck some dude off da street and use 'im as 'is messenger, ya dunce cap!"
'Who are you-a calling a street rat!' Mario thought furiously.
"Oh, stow it!" Rocko yelled. His gaze fell back on Mario and he asked, "Youse got an ID?"
"Yeah, right-a here..." Vinnie and Rocko glanced languidly at the ID's while Mario continued, "My-a friends call me Mario."
"Wha-Yo, man, what are wit da aliases?" Rocko asked.
"It's-a not my alias, it's-a my name!" Mario yelled.
"Okay, okay. Yeesh, youse didn't hafta yell..."
"Youse is da delivery dude, right?" Vinnie asked. Getting a nod from Mario, he gingerly opened the pizza box and said, "Take a bite." When Mario merely stared at him, he pressured, "Go 'head." When Mario bit into the pizza, he asked, "Youse okay?"
"Mmm..." Mario said. "I-a see why Yoshi goes-a to this-a pizza joint each month...oh, yeah, I'm-a okay."
"Take another bite." Vinnie watched as Mario took another bite, and asked the same question. "Youse okay? Ya not sick or sumfin'?"
"I'm okay..." Mario emphasized.
"Phew. Thought we 'ad to take out da garbage dere..." Mario merely stared at him again with a hint of disbelief and lack of courage, and Vinnie pulled out a small beige envelope from his jacket. "Bruno say ta give dis to yas."
"Whoa, dere, Vinnie!" Rocko interjected. "What if he don't know what it is?"
"Geez, it's 'is paycheck, dumbo." Vinnie shook the envelope at Mario. "Dis is 'ow much we need to pay Bruno, aight?"
"Yessir!" Mario said.
"Now open it and count it." Vinnie commanded.
"I-a can't." Mario said a tad nervously.
"Whaddaya mean, ya can't open it!" Rocko yelled.
"Dat's 'ow not ta ask it." Vinnie muttered. "WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOUSE, HUH?"
"I-a was told not-a to open-a it..." Mario replied.
"I ain't goin' ta pay Bruno for da remainder if I 'ave less dan dere is." At this point, a green Carrera GT drove up in a street that ran behind the estate where the matters were taking place. Yoshi straightened himself out as he whispered to the cameramen to take their positions. He carefully sidled along the length of the wall, and flattened himself against it to make himself invisible to the eyes. He heard Vinnie finish, "...and open it to see I got enough money to cover da cost."
"I-a was strictly told by-a Bruno to-a not open it..." Mario said, albeit nervously.
"'E ain't listenin'." Rocko said.
"I ain't goin' over dis again!" Vinnie spit in Mario's face. He tore open the envelope and shoved it in Mario's sweaty face. "Count da damn money ta make sure it's all dere!" At this time Yoshi stepped out of his hiding place and shouted.
"HEY!" Mario turned around at Yoshi, who was still in costume, and his face went white. Rocko was dumbfounded and spluttering strings of curses, and Vinnie was startled and tried to hide the opened envelope. Yoshi then asked in his Brooklyn accent, "Youse open da envelope?" Vinnie was the first to recover and put the blame on Mario.
"'Ey, I tried to tell 'im to not open the envelope, but 'e wouldn't listen."
"I-a did not open the envelope-a, you liar!" Mario retorted.
"Yeah, Italian fatso's right, you connivin' snake!" Rocko yelled. "Stop lying, you dunce cap!"
"I'm-a not fat!" Mario yelled at Rocko.
"I am not lying! He opened it, for goddesses' sake! Shut up!" This noisy commotion reached the ears of Louie and Mac, who were standing around, and shrugging, strolled up the drive to see what the hell was going on. They strode up, completely nonplussed, as they took in the scene before them. Everyone turned to look at their new audience.
"Yo, Mario, what's the hell's-BRUNO! What the devil are you doin' here?"
"'Ey, Louie, you did tell 'im not to open da envelope, right?" Yoshi grunted, pointing to Mario.
"Yeah, why?" Yoshi's words sank down as the full meaning of the question hit Louie. "Wait, 'e didn't..."
"I don't know!" Yoshi yelled. "Vinnie says Mario opened it, Mario says Vinnie opened it, Rocko says dat dey both opened it...I'm very confused."
"Well, den you asks dem, for goddesses' sake! We don't got all day!"
"I still say that tubby ova 'ere opened it." Vinnie said.
"I'm-a telling you, I-a didn't do anything!" Mario's temper was beginning to fray.
"Okay, okay." Yoshi said in his Brooklyn accent, massaging the temple of his forehead in frustration. He sighed, and then commanded Mario, "Tell me what happened."
"Well-a, I-a was here to deliver the-a pizza like you asked..."
"I made sure of dat, boss." Louie acknowledged.
"And-a then I sat and talked with these-a two..."
"Of course. Why wouldn't 'e be talkin' ta us?" Rocko said.
"Quiet!" Yoshi growled. "And dat's when one of dese dunce caps opened da envelope?"
"Yeah. That's-a about it." Mario sighed, his mind saying, 'What-a now? I-a hope this Mafia takes-a kindly to Mushroom-a Kingdom-a folk...'
"Did youse open da envelope?" Yoshi interrogated in his Brooklyn accent.
"I-a did not!" Mario protested. "I-a never did anything-a of the sort!"
"Did youse look in it?" Yoshi was staring at Mario with misgiving.
"I-a did not open it! I repeat-a: I-a didn't open it-a!" Mario screamed.
"Yeah, but dis is a family-run business here." Yoshi muttered. "Youse sure I can trust youse?"
"Cross-a my heart and hope to-a die."
"I like dis guy; 'e 'as spunk." Yoshi said, pointing to Mario. "So, do youse know who opened da envelope?"
"Yeah. I-a can tell-a you now!" Mario said, Vinnie's face turning white.
"Okay den." Yoshi brought Mario to the other side of the patio and sat him down for questioning. "So, who's da idioso who opened da envelope?" Mario was a little nervous, but Yoshi pressured, "Point him out. Point him out! POINT HIM OUT!" Caving in, he pointed to Vinnie, who immediately went white. "YOUSE DID IT!"
"He did it!" Rocko pointed accusingly.
"I knew 'e did it!" Louie added, pointing at the stuttering Vinnie.
"Dere was never a doubt on my mind." Mac chimed in, pointing at Vinnie.
"What 'ave youse got to say for yaself, huh?" Yoshi growled, pointing at Vinnie and shouting curses.
'Good-a heavens, Bruno, with-a that much noise you-a could raise the dead...' Mario thought.
"I didn't do nothin'!" Vinnie denied.
"Oh, no, youse don't!" Rocko interjected. "I saw youse open da envelope!"
"Shut the fuck up, Rocko!"
"Don't tell me to shut up, ya dunce cap! Youse opened da envelope, and I ain't takin' da blame for dis one!" Vinnie growled as Rocko smiled in satisfaction. While all this was going on, Mario was spluttering and hiding beneath the table in fear of a gunfight. Yoshi had noticed this and addressed the Italian plumber after he forcefully shut everyone up.
"Youse is okay, right? Youse ain't hurt?"
"Last I-a checked, I-a wasn't..." Mario replied, as he checked himself for any injuries. "I-a am okay!"
"Yeah, dat's what we talk about!" Yoshi had guided Mario over to the gate of the estate, the guards, Rocko and Vinnie following closely behind. Yoshi flashed the envelope that Vinnie opened earlier, and pulled out wads of hundred-dollar bills. Mario almost choked as Yoshi put the money back into the envelope for safekeeping. Yoshi then said to Mario in his Brooklyn accent, "I have good news and bad news. Da good news is dat you can keep da envelope. Youse will keep dis money, okay?"
"Sweet..." Mario said. "What's-a the bad news?"
"I'm surprised you didn't recognize me." Yoshi said, his baritone raising and becoming the well-known, well-loved pitch he normally spoke in.
"YOSHI? But how-how did you do that?"
"There's more!" Yoshi pointed into the bushes and brought out the cameramen hiding in various spots on the plantation grounds. "There's a camera there, and a camera there, and another one there..."
"AUGH! YOSHI!" Mario screamed at the top of his lungs as he saw the cameramen. "Geez, that wasn't cool..."
"Hey, at least you know how it feels when you prank me!" Yoshi laughed as the others chuckled along. "This is fun!"
"Ay ay ay, Yoshi, you never cease to amaze me..." Mario said, silently laughing along with the others.
Prank one is complete, and Mario is through. So, what do you think? Read and review, folks! Please?
Gamer21