A/N: I was listening to Simple Plan, and I was reading the lyrics for Perfect World, and I just got kinda inspired to write this chappie… Sorry if it sucks! This is just Seto's thoughts on the whole thing, and how he feels. This chappie was originally the first half of chappie 9, but then I decided to take out the second half and just leave it like this xD
And er just in reply to Vertigo's comment- uhh I don't mean for Seto to completely change for Joey or anything, just to show that he cares, and to not be obsessed with work or anything. And yeah, I know Kaiba would actually check the records, I meant to put in that Masaki had altered them x.x but I kinda forgot… gaahh.. and yeah sorry about that… my mistake ;;
And to mandapandabug: you mighta noticed on the summary that I've decided to dedicate this fic to you lol xD thanks for being such a great reviewer!! …other than threatening to kill me your reviews have really kept me going so thank you
And okay, this is my final bit of blabbering- I'm glad that most of you guys like Joey being a prostitute again lol
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Chapter 9
It had been three months.
Three godforsaken months since Joey had left him.
Seto stared at his reflection in the mirror. He looked paler than usual -if it were possible- and even thinner. He had lost almost 10kg since Joey had left, making him almost skeletal in appearance.
But he still stubbornly clung to the idea that he didn't need his puppy. That he could manage just fine without being even relatively close to Joey. That he was the same as always.
But deep in his heart Seto knew that he was very, very wrong- he needed Joey as much as needed air, if not more.
Seto brushed his hand over his eyes, trying to keep his concentration. He had to make sure that his business didn't fail- his love life had already done that.
I wish he would come back... Seto shook his head. He couldn't think like that- he was fine on his own- he had managed all of his life by himself, needing no one and definitely relying on nobody. So why should he suddenly be so reliant on Joey? It wasn't like his puppy had actually done anything for him.
But you love him... a voice whispered in his mind.
Seto sighed and leaned on the mirror, his strength fleeing his body suddenly.
I never could have seen this far
I never could have seen this coming
It seems like my world's falling apart
Why is everything so hard?
I don't think that I can deal
With the things you said
It just won't go away
Joey's words were burnt into his memory- Seto could never, ever forget what his puppy had said.
I know we didn't talk a lot after the sales went down, but I thought that he was alright with that- why didn't he say something? Seto thought, his confusion being replaced with anger. He could've come to me at any time! Why didn't he?
--Because you were never there-- a voice replied in his mind.
Seto groaned. Now I'm not only hearing the voices in my head but they're answering my own questions.
I never could have seen this far
I never could have seen this coming
It seems like my world's falling apart
Why is everything so hard?
I don't think that I can deal
With the things you said
It just won't go away
His mansion was so lonely now- silence now filled the large rooms and long hallways. There was no more conversation, no more laughter. Seto came home to an empty mansion and a cold bed every night. Sometimes he dreamt that Joey came back to him- but they were only dreams, and he woke up every morning alone and depressed.
Does Joey feel the same way I do? Or doesn't he care? Seto wondered. Is he living life as he always has done? Does he think of me at all?
Seto shook his head. He had stop thinking about Joey! It wasn't doing anyone any good- if only the puppy would stop haunting his thoughts and dreams...
I used to think that I was strong
Until the day it all went wrong
I think I need a miracle to make it through
I wish that I could bring you back
I wish that I could turn back time
Cuz I can't let go
I just can't find my way
Without you I just can't find my way
Seto punched the mirror, making the glass splinter and cut his hand. He watched emotionlessly as rivers of blood ran down his arm, staining his otherwise clean suit.
You've made a wreck of me Joey, damn you, Seto snarled silently, wishing that the blond could hear him. I can't think anymore- I can barely get to sleep at night, and when I finally get to sleep, I dream of him- he's driving me crazy!
"Fuck it!" Seto yelled. "I hate you mutt!"
But I love you so much at the same time...
Seto finally registered the shattered glass and his bleeding hand and sighed. He got some clean, wet towels from the bathroom and wiped his hand clean of the blood and put some disinfectant on his cuts then bandaged his hand up.
I think I'm going crazy.
Seto wandered down the hall aimlessly, trying to ignore the memories that assaulted him at every corner. In that corner he and Joey had made out for an entire four hours for no particular reason- in the room to his left he had presented Joey with his first suit.
A tiny smile graced Seto's face as he remembered how Joey had glomped him and showered him with kisses. His smile quickly faded when he remembered that that would never happen again- his puppy wasn't coming back.
I don't know what I should do now
I don't know where I should go
I'm still here waiting for you
I'm lost when you're not around
I need to hold on to you
I just can't let you go
Sometimes Seto forgot that Joey hadn't left- but that was only after an incredibly hard day at work and he wasn't fully conscious.
It was after those moments that he fell into depression and went to phone Joey and ask for his forgiveness. But he always recovered after an hour or so, and went back to his normal cold self, convincing himself that he didn't need Joey, or anybody else for that matter.
In a perfect world
This could never happen
In a perfect world
You'd still be here
And it makes no sense
I can just pick up the pieces
But to you this means nothing
Nothing at all
You feel nothing
Nothing at all
But deep down Seto knew that he was wrong. He knew that he needed Joey back. But pride kept him from admitting that openly. He knew that there was no way he would apologise to his puppy- he was too proud to admit that their relationship had failed because of him.
Seto sighed. It was all over now anyway- Joey was probably dating someone else now, someone better than Seto. Someone who would show affection and always be there for him.
I wish I had another chance, I wish I could make it all right again. But it's all over now. We're never going to be together again.
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A/N: Okay, there's only a few more chapters to go!! XD I've already written the next chapter so it should be up in a couple of days- I just need to make a few more adjustments lol