Disclaimer: Again, not mine. Period.
A/N: I'm sorry I took so long in updating again. I hope you guys are still following this. And, again, thanks to everyone for your reviews. You make my day, really. :)
One last thing, this will probably be the last chapter I post in a while. This was supposed to be a 5 chapter story but I don't know if I'll have chapter 5 ready any time soon; real life is getting in the way more than I would like. I could end the story with this chapter, too. Just tell me what you think. Anyways, enjoy...
Luke suddenly felt terribly embarrassed. What he had just done was something Lorelai hadn't ever expected, or so he thought. What if she wasn't interested in him as more than just a friend and had just kissed him back so that she wouldn't hurt his feelings? His embarrassment and his insecurity grew more and more every passing second. He shouldn't have done that, he was sure of it. Lorelai hadn't liked it. Now he had given his feelings away and there was nothing he could do to hide them anymore. He wanted to run, to go far, far away and never come back. He quickly lifted his body from the floor and sat bolt upright, purposefully a bit far apart from Lorelai.
"I'm sorry", he muttered, looking down at his hands. "I shouldn't have done that, I just got carried away by the moment and then. . . I didn't mean to bother you"
He began to stand up, but Lorelai grabbed his arm and sat him back down. "Luke, I never said that the kiss bothered me", she smiled. "It was a great kiss, one of the best I've ever had. It's just that, I kissed you. Not that it is a bad thing, it's just that you're supposed to be my friend. Just my friend. And now I've had the most amazing kiss in my entire life and it was with my best friend. I'm totally confused, I don't know. . ."
"I love you", Luke blurted out. It was now or never, he thought. He didn't care if she hated him and didn't want to see him ever again, he couldn't believe how relieved he felt when those three words finally came out of his mouth.
Lorelai had been looking at the floor but the moment those words came out, her head jerked quickly back up. "Sorry?", she asked softly.
"It's pointless to try and hide it now, I mean, I've just kissed you twice", he looked down, embarrassed. "I'm sorry I had to tell this to you like this, out of the blue, but I was not going to tell you the old story that this was a mistake because it wasn't, at least not for me. What just happened was amazing and I'm not regretting any part of it, but I'll understand if you don't feel that way towards me".
"You. . . you love me?", Lorelai was still dazed by Luke's sudden confession. Not that she wasn't expecting something like that. After all, they had shared a wonderful kiss and neither of them seemed at all bothered or mad about it. "But. . . when? How?", she asked, a bit foolishly, but her mind was a complete blank at that moment and she couldn't think of anything more logical to say.
"I don't know, I guess one can't know the exact moment when they fall in love with someone, it just sort of happens", he looked up at her, feeling more confident now. If he had told her he loved her, he might as well continue. Lorelai didn't seem mad or worse, grossed out. She was just confused and he couldn't blame her. "But I guess it was ever since I first met you. And as for the how, well, it's really hard not to fall in love with someone like you, I mean, you are so . . . so beautiful and funny and, no matter how annoying you can be, you just have a way of getting into people's hearts".
Lorelai smiled gently. "Luke. . . that is so sweet. Why didn't you tell me?"
"I just couldn't. I was so afraid that you would reject me and that I'd lose you forever, that I preferred to keep just the friendship we already had. And then of course came Max and Christopher and that's when I realized that I had lost any opportunity I ever had with you. So that's why I asked Nicole out and then eventually married her".
"And that's why you hated Max so much", she said, smiling at the memory.
"I guess my big secret is out. Look, Lorelai, I'm sorry for dumping this on you like this, but you would have found out eventually. If this is awkward for you, I'll completely understand and I'll try to arrange things so that every time you go to the diner I am not around, and I'll try not to run into you around town much, or whatever it is that will make you comfortable". He slowly stood up and lent Lorelai his hand so that she could stand up as well.
"Wait, Luke", she said, squeezing his hand gently to get his attention. "I never said or even expressed that I felt uncomfortable and that I didn't want to run into you again. That would be very sad and I positively don't want to stop seeing you or going to the diner"
"But you are just going to forget about this kiss like it never happened and you are going to tell me to do the same, aren't you?", Luke retorted, a bit angry and hurt. "You are going to tell me that this was all a mistake and that it should never have happened, aren't you?"
"No, Luke!", Lorelai said quickly. A mistake was the last thing this kiss had been and she wanted to make sure Luke knew that. "Don't put words in my mouth!"
"Then, what? Where do I stand? How are we going to act around each other from now on?"
Lorelai sighed and fell silent for a minute. She absently started caressing Luke's hand, which she was still holding in hers. Luke's stomach churned. "Look, why don't we go for a walk? I think we have a few things to talk about, don't we?"
Luke looked at her, genuinely surprised. Lorelai wanted them to go for a walk to talk about their situation? Surely, this couldn't be as bad as he thought it would be. Maybe, just maybe, a tiny little beam of hope had just appeared on the horizon. "I guess, sure, why not?"
Still holding Luke's hand, she guided them both out of the house, previously having found a note on Rory's door that said: "Hey, mom, I just saw you two making out on the floor, so I'll just go to Lane's to hang out before I go to the dance, in case it turns into something more. Good luck and congrats!". Lorelai laughed and left the letter there. Luke smiled too, although a bit nervous wondering what Lorelai's laugh had meant.
Lorelai and Luke walked around Stars Hollow in a complete silence, each lost in their own thoughts. The streets were deserted, obviously everyone was at home getting ready for the dance or actually in the dance, but neither of them could care less about it at the moment. There were more important matters to discuss. Luke stole a look at Lorelai next to him. She was looking at the floor, with her arms crossed in front of her, obviously shivering from the cold. She is so beautiful, he couldn't help thinking and repeating to himself two or three thousand times a day. He wondered what was going through her head at that moment, whether ways to turn him down without hurting his feelings or ways to tell him that she loved him too. This uncertainty was killing him.
A moment later, they arrived at the bridge over the lake and she stopped there. He felt puzzled. Why was Lorelai bringing him there?
"Lorelai, what are we doing here?"
"I just love this place at night, don't you? It's so quiet and peaceful, it's almost magical." She had that twinkle in her eyes that Luke adored.
"Well, yeah, I suppose it's kind of pretty"
Lorelai took a deep breath and turned to face him. "Luke, the reason I brought you here is because I want to tell you something really important that I just couldn't tell you at my house."
"What is it?", Luke asked, his heart throbbing dangerously in his chest. Why was she making this wait even longer?
"I. . . Luke, we. . . Geez, I don't know how to say this. . .", she laughed nervously and stared at her hands.
"Just say it. Whatever it is, just say it. I'll understand".
"Okay", she took a deep breath. "Luke, what just happened at my house was amazing. I mean, that kiss made me feel things that I hadn't felt before. So, first of all, I want you to know that I in no way regret it or wish that it never happened, OK?"
"OK", Luke answered, not so sure about where she was going from there.
"The thing is, Luke, that after this kiss I have had to rethink our relationship, because obviously we can't continue the way we were before and pretend that this did not happen, because it did"
"So what are you saying?", Luke was starting to get a little scared. She had rethought their relationship? That could only mean one thing: she didn't want them to be friends anymore.
Lorelai took another deep breath, which told Luke that she was about to say something very big and important, so he braced himself for what was coming. "I'm saying that we can't be friends anymore".
Those words stung Luke more than if he had just been pinched by a poisonous dart. His heart jumped all the way to his throat and made it impossible for him to breathe. They couldn't be friends anymore? What was that all about? After all her speech of her not regretting what had just happened, this was as good as her trying to forget about it, so why did she even say it? Why did she get his hopes very high up just to then make him fall 50 feet to the ground and break his heart yet again?
Luke tried very hard to regain his composure enough to be able to articulate a few words, because he was so mad and hurt that he couldn't even talk. "We can't be friends?"
Lorelai looked a bit scared by his reaction, so she quickly tried to fix it. "No, that's not what I meant. . ."
"Then what did you mean?", Luke finally shouted, releasing all the anger he had bottled up. Lorelai was going to hear him. He was not going to let her walk away after hurting him so badly. She had already done that quite a few times and he finally got fed up with it.
Lorelai was completely backed out by Luke's reaction. Why didn't he let her explain what she meant? He obviously had gotten a totally wrong idea of the situation. She got scared that he would walk out on her without letting her tell him how she really felt.
"Luke, this is not what you think it is, I. . ."
"Then explain it to me. Explain to me why I shouldn't think that, by telling me that we can't be friends anymore, you want me out of your life completely so that you can avoid everything that just happened and run away like you always do."
"Because it's not true!", Lorelai cried in desperation.
"Then why do you say that we can't be friends anymore? I can't think of another reason"
"We can't be friends because I love you too much to be just your friend!", she finally screamed, annoyed at his stubbornness.
Luke stopped dead in his tracks.
"What?". He couldn't believe what he had just heard. Lorelai loved him? Could that possibly be true?
Lorelai couldn't believe that she finally had let that out. She looked down at her feet in embarrassment, although there was no reason for her to feel that way since Luke had just made the exact same confession only a while ago.
"I'm sorry", she started babbling in an effort to regain control of herself. "I didn't mean to just blurt this out to you, it just sort of came out and, well. . . Not that I didn't mean it. . . God, why can't I even speak properly?". She chuckled and looked down at her feet again, at a complete loss for words.
Luke had gotten over the initial shock of finding out that Lorelai had the same feelings for him that he had been repressing for a very long time. Now he looked at her with a mixture of amusement and adoration. He had never seen Lorelai so flustered before and he smiled inwardly, thinking that he was the one that made her feel that way.
"Look, I'm sorry, if this is really uncomfortable for you then we could just, you know. . . I mean, now I could take you up on some of the offers you made me back at my house, but this time because you won't want to see me again and. . ."
While Lorelai was babbling, Luke took a step closer to her and then another until finally, they were just 5 inches apart. Lorelai was still busy looking down or at her sides to notice Luke's proximity, so Luke had to utter his second word after Lorelai's big revelation to bring her back to her senses.
"Lorelai", he whispered in a soft and kind of husky voice that definitely caught her attention. She looked up at him and suddenly realized how close they were standing. He was undressing her with his eyes and that, along with the feeling of Luke so close to her and his husky voice made her even more nervous and flustered. She wanted to kick herself. Why was she behaving like that?
They looked at each other and their eyes locked. They both started breathing heavily, their faces only inches apart, and yet neither of them made a move forward.
"Well, what are we supposed to do now?", asked Lorelai, her eyes still locked with his and her heart beating madly in her chest.
Luke pretended to give it a lot of thought. "I believe this is the part where we kiss".
"Kiss, good. That I can handle"
Luke lowered his face to hers and brought his lips towards hers for the third time that night. It was different this time though, because he now didn't have the uncertainty of how Lorelai was going to take it. He now knew that she wanted him as much as he wanted her and it was a wonderful feeling. It was also a wonderful feeling the one of Lorelai's hands gently moving up to his face and his hands wrapping around her waist. He slid them up and down, caressing the bare skin of her back, while Lorelai ran her fingers through his hair. Tentatively, Luke parted Lorelai's lips with his tongue and gently ran it over hers. He felt no reaction from her, except the one of responding to him, so he continued exploring her mouth more deeply, roaming his hands through her body while she didn't fall so far behind herself. Finally, they agreed simultaneously that they needed oxygen in order to continue living and be able to do that again, so they parted longingly.
Lorelai smiled. "Wow".
"Yeah", Luke replied, smiling as broadly in spite of himself.
"This was definitely a very unexpected end to the night, don't you think?"
"It wasn't one of my contemplated scenarios, yes", Luke nodded ceremoniously.
"Oh, so you actually made a list of the possible outcomes of this night with me?", she smiled mischievously and tilted her head, delighted to see Luke blush.
"No, I mean. . . I. . ."
Lorelai laughed and slid her hands down to his chest. "It's OK, Luke, I was just teasing. Besides, it's not like I didn't do a list of my own". It was her turn to look down and her cheeks to flush.
"Really?", he smiled and felt his heart soar.
"Why do you think it was taking me so long to get ready?", she looked up and gave him a very suggestive grin. "Which reminds me, I didn't do all that getting ready for nothing and, as much as I wish we could just stay here and carry on doing all those cheesy things that couples in the movies do in places like this, we have to go back to the dance". She disengaged herself from Luke's grasp and took his hand, intertwining her fingers with his.
"Oh, man, are you serious?", he groaned with a very angsty expression on his face.
"Hey, before any of this happened, you were still willing to go with me, so don't back out now! Nothing has changed except that, well, we can now walk in holding hands and, you know, kiss".
"That's exactly my point, now that we are. . . what we are, we are going to be the cover story in town for weeks, months even. They are not going to leave us alone and we are not going to be able to live the beginnings of our relationship in peace. I'm doing this to protect us".
"And because you don't want to appear in a suit in a Stars Hollow public event", she smiled knowingly.
Luke looked at her, surprised. "How did you. . .?"
She shrugged. "I kinda caught on a bit of the conversation. Totally unintentional, don't worry, I wasn't eavesdropping on whatever super confidential exchange you were having with Rory downstairs. So. . . shall we?", she gestured, motioning him to follow her.
Luke looked uncertain.
"Please?", she stepped towards him and planted a very quick kiss on his lips, barely touching them with her own. Seeing Luke wasn't giving her an answer yet, she leaned forward again and placed another butterfly kiss on his lips. This time, Luke tried to make it deeper and longer, but Lorelai pulled away fast enough, teasing him. "That's as good as it's gonna get until you say yes".
"You are an evil, evil woman".
"Thank you, I always appreciate compliments".
Luke sighed. "I suppose I have no other choice now, do I?"
Lorelai's face light up. She leaned forward and kissed him again, this time long and deep. "Thank you! We'll have fun, I promise". They started walking towards the town square. Luke let go of her hand and put an arm around her waist to pull her closer. She put her arm around his waist in turn and they continued like that, without saying a word, just content to be in each other's company. Luke thought it was only reasonable that he had to go through the ordeal of the dance. After all, so much luck in one night had to have a downer at some point.
