Why: Chapter Two

Warning: This will get more graphic, if you don't think you can continue, I will understand.

Chapter Two: Fingers

Change, change, change; that's all there was now. I couldn't look father in the eye, I couldn't bare it. The pensive look was gone, it had been replaced. I hated this new look even more. I didn't understand, that was for sure. Everytime he was near, he would have that look. Mother took no notice, she was always so busy. I know its not her fault, but still I blame her.

I seemed to feel that if she could have kept father happy then he wouldn't be turning to me. But at the same time I knew I would do anything father wished, I couldn't let him down. I wouldn't let him be ashamed of me, ever.

What Father thought of me was all that matter to be now. I needed his pride back, I needed to be able to live again. I felt like I had become a shadow of my former self without him there in me, driving me. It had become more than just a want or a desire for me. It was a need, a must. I couldn't live any longer without it. Just for him to say he was happy, that he loved me, that he was proud.

It was when I realised this that the tears stopped flowing, as they had been every night; I had made a decision. I was to ready to please him. I had to tell him, he needed to know how I felt.

Waiting outside Father's office, butterflies swarmed in my stomach. My task of hiding was over, but right now I felt as though I was standing in front of a crowd of people naked; bearing my soul. But Father loved me, I had to tell him.

I raised my hand to the door and knocked, hard and steadily.

"Yes?" came Lucius' strong voice from within the room.

"It's me, Father. May I come in?"

"Yes, yes. Come in, Draco."

The door clicked open and I stepped into the room, closing the door in my wake. Lucius was sitting behind his desk, scribbling across a piece of parchment. He looked up as I stopped in front of his desk.

"What can I do for you, son?" His voice was quiet, but calm.

I took a deep breath, steeling myself for what I was about to say. Lucius looked at me around his desk, an eyebrow raised. Seeing the expression on my face, he dropped his quill into the ink pot and stood from his chair. He moved around the desk and stood beside me.

"Is there something you wanted to say?" he asked, his hand placing itself warmly on my forearm.

My body straightened slightly at first contact, but relaxed as Lucius' warmth flowed through the connection.

I had decided to refer to Father as Lucius in my mind at these moments. This was the private Lucius, not public Lucius. Public Lucius was my father, and acted as a proper father should. Private Lucius was so sensitive and tentive, he was strong but gentle, he was so caring and loving. I felt so much closer to the latter, this was the Lucius that I wanted to be so proud of me.

"Yes, sir."

Lucius nodded, looking me directly in the eye. It was the same look he had given me when we had kissed. Everything that had happened in the time between these two moments didn't seem to matter anymore when I looked into his eyes.

"Well?" Lucius asked. His voice wasn't impatient, as it would have been in public, it was urging and patient.

"I wanted to tell you, Father. I'm ready."

"Ready?" Lucius asked, but I could see in his eyes that he knew what I meant.

I nodded, "Yes, ready."

A smile seemed to spread across Lucius' face. "How ready?"

"I'm not really sure," I said after a moments pause. I didn't know what he meant. How ready did I need to be? Were there stages of ready? I figured Lucius was about to test it.

Lucius' hand carressed my cheek, and I knew what was to come next. Lucius leant forward and brushed his lips against mine, just as he had before. His tongue slid across my lower lip as he pulled my body closer to his. The hand that had carressed my cheek was now behind my neck, but the other, it was at my collar bone, tracing the bone.

His tongue pressed for entry, I obliged and allowed Lucius to enter my mouth. It was such a rush, the feeling of having him explore as he wished, but then my attention was drawn to his hand. It was no longer at my collar bone, it was travelling.

His fingers slid down the 'V' of my shirt, and his fingers fumbled with the buttons. My shirt was open and then... the fingers didn't stop. Lucius ran his fingers along my bare chest, and down to my stomach. His fingers traced every curve of my torso and continued downwards. I didn't seem to have the strength to stop him. They wouldn't stop, the fingers reached my belt, and it was flung open. And with my father's eyes pouring into my own, his fingers slipped below the belt.

A/N: I know, I'm evil, but I think I'll leave you guys there. Sorry, but the next chapter will be up soon, I promise.

Until then...