Neji and Gaara again. I noticed I've gotten looser with my point of views. I used to be strict with chapters being only one person's POV, but now I'm starting to mix and match. Just to remind everyone that this is A/U and there is OOC. Gaara has several different moodswings throughout this chapter. But he's just weird. ;) Oh yeah, and while I'm at it I DON'T OWN NARUTO. Or Neji. Or Sasuke. God, I wish I did… 'thinking yaoish perverted thoughts'
Yaoilover S – Yay!
Hurricane-rider – Yeah, I know he's a 'seme' character, but I have way too much fun sticking him in uke positions. I'm sure he could be seme if he applied himself (in this fic at least—in the anime he'd have no problems taking over, but there's a whole lot less yaoi action in the anime). And Temari and Kankuro aren't really expecting to be followed. They took a rather round-a-bout way to loose anyone on their tail, and it just so happened that they had started on the real path when Sasuke and Naruto found them. Neji and Gaara will still have time…And I don't think I update fast, I just think everyone else updates too slow. 'is dying to read more of some fics that still aren't updated'
sinn – Poor Sasuke doesn't know what to think anymore.
Kawaii kitsune-kun – Lol, I do need to hope because the story tends to get out of hand and what I want to write never gets written. For example, as I said previously, Gaara's reason for working for Kanaroe was supposed to be discussed a few chapters ago. But Neji decided to whine. Also, back when Neji and Sasuke were caught at his place in the rain, I expected that to be a pure yaoi-ish chapter but Gaara showed up. Grr…. Not to mention Gaara was never supposed to be in this fic, but I guess it's okay that he's here now. I may have a plan for an ending, but the story may warp again and totally foil my idea.
Chapter 24: The Reason
Neji winced as his body hit the wall. Still, he stubbornly glared at Kanaroe with his mouth firmly shut. He didn't care what was done to him, the nin would never give any information about his family or his abilities to such a creep.
Gaara stood at the other end of the room, staring off into space, seemingly ignorant to the fact that Neji was getting the crap beaten out of him.
"If it kills you, you will tell me your secrets." Kanaroe growled and held Neji against the wall by his throat. "I've lost my patience with you."
Neji forced a smirk on his face despite the fact that he was having trouble breathing. "Then I'll die with you knowing nothing."
Kanaroe snarled and threw Neji to the floor. With his hands tied behind him, Neji had no way to brace himself from the impact, and fell hard against the wood. He had hardly been on the ground a few seconds when he was pulled up again by his hair.
Kanaroe widened Neji's right eye with his fingers. "You see me? Well, you wont soon enough, because this eye is going to be mine. Whether you tell me or not indicates how painful the procedure will be." The exiled nin chuckled and ran his fingers to Neji's other eye. "But I have no need for the second. Perhaps I should remove it right now!" Neji cringed and struggled as Kanaroe's fingers approached his left eye and began digging into his eyelids.
The pain intensified and then suddenly stopped. Neji still felt Kanaroe's nails digging into his skin before the pressure lessened and then went away all together. Cautiously he looked to see what had happened.
Gaara was standing behind Kanaroe now, with sand pouring in a steady stream out of his gourd. It was wrapped around the exile's wrist, holding his hand back, and even moving it away.
"Gaara! You bastard, what do you think you're doing?" Kanaroe snarled.
Neji was impressed with how steady and calm the redhead's gaze was as he spoke to his enraged boss. "It isn't wise to risk damaging the Hyuuga's other eye. You don't know if it will be needed, and if the boy somehow dies of blood loss, they you're up the creek without a paddle. You let rage control you far too easily."
Kanaroe looked incredibly angry and stalked up to Gaara. "You're not the one giving orders." He swung at Gaara, and the sand instantly flew up to block the blow. Kanaroe smirked. "That wont always be there to protect you."
Gaara seemed unaffected, bored even. "With the rate your going, I find that unlikely."
The man did not look happy, and his hand twitched, yet it did not try to strike Gaara again. "Perhaps if you remain obedient and stop ordering me, then that will change."
The sand-nin shrugged. "I've been more than a good underling." He walked over to Neji, cupping his chin and examining the slight cuts above and below his eyelids. "And what would you have done if it turned out you needed the other eye and it had already been totally mutilated in your own blinded rage?"
Kanaroe was silent, but Neji could see him boring holes with his eyes in Gaara's back.
"Besides," continued Gaara, "They are gorgeous eyes, and it would be wrong to take them out in such a crude manner." Neji shivered as Gaara's thumb ran over the cut under his eye and wiped the blood away. The sand-nin licked the blood off his thumb without breaking gaze with the brunette. Neji saw something frightening flicker in the deep emerald of Gaara's eyes, but it was soon gone.
Gaara turned away and moved back to where he was before. "Try not to act so rashly again."
Somehow the redhead had gotten away with giving orders to his own boss, and Kanaroe didn't press him any farther, though he still looked quite furious.
Neji braced himself as Kanaroe approached him again, but it was interrupted by the arrival of someone at the door.
A strange man stood hunched over at the threshold with a rather large owl perched on his shoulder. Neji was surprised that the person could even hold up the owl, since looked so thin and brittle. He very much resembled a rather small and crooked branch off a tree in winter, which an owl had chosen to rest on.
Gaara gave him little notice and didn't even turn to acknowledge the newcomer's presence. Kanaroe on the other hand, grinned and welcomed the man in. The stranger hobbled over to Kanaroe, and it looked like a miracle that he could even walk. The owl bobbed slightly with each uneven step that its master took. Kanaroe leaned down as the stranger whispered in his ear. The exile's face hardened as he listened, and he straightened up and nodded.
"Thank you. You are dismissed." He tossed a gold sac to the man, who grinned with broken and crooked teeth before hobbling out with his owl.
"Gaara." Kanaroe motioned the sand-nin to follow him to another room of the house, leaving Neji to sit in the room alone.
Neji squirmed forward a little bit, but the ropes attached to the wall prevented him from getting very far. He had already tried gnawing at it, but it was thick and well woven and would not break easily. He wished he could use his hands to wipe the hair out of his face. It had fallen all over his face when he moved forward, and the strands had stuck and clumped in the drying blood around his eye. The numb throbbing of his shoulders and arms was a constant reminder of Kanaroe's determination to get answers about the Byakugan.
The entire time Neji was being beaten on and interrogated, Gaara had just stood there, unrreacting. That angered the brunette so much, yet he was also surprised when the sand-nin had stepped in to prevent Neji from getting seriously wounded. The redhead was so complex and unpredictable. It was like he had a different personality to suit different needs. Neji shuddered, remembering the predatory gleam he saw in Gaara's eyes when he tasted the blood.
Back in Kankuro's office, Gaara stood there stoically, waiting for Kanaroe to speak.
"My messenger that arrived informed me that your sister and brother are less than a day away from here."
Gaara nodded, and waited, sensing that there was something more.
Indeed there was, and Kanaroe leaned back in his chair and continued on. "He also informed me that there were two leaf-nin following them."
"So why didn't he just do away with them himself, or get my siblings to deal with it? Surely two nin would be easy to handle."
"Yes, but I have concerns about whether they are the only two. He had his bird scout the area, and claimed she saw nothing, but that doesn't mean that there aren't others. I want to be absolutely certain that we don't get into an unfavourable position. Weren't you the one preaching moments ago not to be reckless?"
Gaara said nothing. Kanaroe wasn't just telling him this for fun. There was something he wanted the sand-nin to do.
Again, he was correct. "So I will allow Temari and Kankuro to lead the two leaf-nin here where they can be dealt with accordingly. I have much more power and advantage in this area than I would with an ambush in the forest. If they are the only ones, then they can be easily snuffed out, as you said. However, if there are more, I at least want the battle to occur on my turf. As to how you come in, I do not want to loose what was so difficult to obtain. I am leaving you in charge of the Hyuuga. Take him elsewhere and hide him so that he cannot be found. I do not want him recaptured and freed by his allies. We've all come too far for that. If you somehow get caught, kill the Hyuuga. I do not want them having the satisfaction of taking him back. Decapitate him and get his head to me as soon as you can, if at all possible. I may still be able to extract his eye."
"And then?"
"And then you shall get what you desire."
"I better." Gaara turned away and began to walk out.
"You will be leaving immediately."
The redhead nodded and continued on. He found Neji straining against his ropes, again, with no success. He bristled as Gaara approached him, and then found himself crashing forward as Gaara released the mechanism for the ropes on the wall. He didn't have a moment to attempt to escape before Gaara grabbed the ropes and pulled him to his feet. He unbound Neji's ankles and legs with one hand while the other had a firm grip on the brunette.
As soon as his legs were freed, Neji kicked his knee upwards in an attempt to hit Gaara and knock him out so he could make a run for it. Sand suddenly blocked the attack, as it had with Kanaroe.
Gaara smirked. "Don't try anything funny." He began to pull the nin with him as he headed out the door.
"Where are we going?" Neji asked.
"On a little trip."
Neji winced as the sunlight hit his sensitive eyes. He had been kept inside for so long that the sudden contrasting brightness blinded him for a moment. He stumbled a bit as the sand-nin pulled him along. Gaara suddenly pulled Neji to himself from behind and Neji felt a cloth being draped over his eyes. The redhead secured the knot behind Neji's head and continued to lead him.
The Hyuuga stumbled. Gaara was moving rapidly, and Neji could not see where they were going due to the blindfold. It stopped the pain from the brightness of the sun, but he doubted that was the intention. Most likely it was to keep Neji from tracing his way back to where they were, which was foolish, because the brunette hardly knew where he was anyway in the first place.
Several times Neji nearly fell over as Gaara dragged him along. He could hear the redhead sigh.
"Can't you keep up?"
"Hey, at least you can see," growled Neji. He struggled in Gaara's grip, but the boy had a firm hold on him.
"Honestly, you're such a pain sometimes."
"I'm the pain? Well yo—" Neji gasped as he felt his feet leave the ground and his head go upside-down. From the pressure on his waist and the solid grasp on his legs, he deducted that Gaara had thrown him over his shoulder. How the frail-looking nin ever did it was beyond Neji. Angry with Gaara for everything that had happened, he wriggled and generally made it difficult for the nin to keep a firm hold on him.
"Do you really want to fall flat on your face that badly?" he heard Gaara growl. "Stay still."
"I will not! And on top of that I'll scream at the top of my lungs."
"And what would that accomplish?"
"Perhaps I will get saved, or have a bear attack you or something."
"I have no objections feeding you to a bear if you do not stop squirming."
Neji took a deep breath to yell. It was a stupid thing to do, and he didn't know if it'd be of any use. If anything, it would annoy the hell out of Gaara, and that was good enough for Neji.
"Do you really want me to shove a lump of cloth into your mouth? Think about that before you decide what you are going to do."
The Hyuuga gritted his teeth and held back his yell. He was already thirsty, and wasn't willing to have a makeshift gag absorb what little moisture his mouth still retained. Gaara was a bastard.
Neji lost track of time as he was blindly carried somewhere by Gaara. The redhead did not seem to tire. Eventually, the brunette felt himself being righted again. He felt a little light-headed from having his head upside-down for so long and groaned slightly.
Neji felt the knot behind his head loosen up and the blindfold was taken off. He hissed as the sweat that had formed on the cloth brushed past his cuts around his eye. The hair had gotten so mussed around the area that it felt like little pinpricks were driving into his skin. There was a pressure on his arms and torso. He opened his left eye and saw Gaara wrapping ropes around a large rock and securing Neji to it.
It was around dusk, and the sun was just disappearing under the tree-line. They were beside some lake deep in the woods. Neji did not recognize the place, but then again he had rarely travelled very far outside of Kohana.
Gaara kneeled by the lake edge, soaking a different cloth into the water. He got up and approached Neji, taking the boy's chin in his fingers. Neji tried to turn away and bit his lip as the water brushed past the wound around his left eye. It stung, and hurt even more as Gaara began to unstick the hair that had clumped in it.
Gaara was strangely gentle with the task, even though it still hurt. He took the time to individually move small portions of the hair, instead of just ripping the whole clump away at once. Every now and then he dabbed the spot with the cloth to moisten the dried blood and make things easier.
Neji hated it. He hated the fact that Gaara could be a bastard at one moment before doing a complete 180-degree turn and becoming a caring friend. The brunette settled for the fact that Gaara was really a bastard 24-7, and that him suddenly being nice didn't redeem his previous behaviour one bit.
Still, Neji felt himself relaxing under Gaara's gentle touch. The sand-nin didn't say a word as he laboured to clean the wound. Once done, he moved back to Neji's hair, and began undoing the tangles that had formed with the dry blood. Neji always loved to have his hair played with. Not that he ever stooped to have someone else touch it, but he often spent long stretches of time brushing it. Gaara was still very careful, making the difficult job as painless as possible. One minute he was threatening to feed Neji to a bear, and now he was delicately fixing the boy's hair. Why was he so goddamn confusing?
"What is wrong with you?" Well, that was one way to get his thoughts out into the open.
"What do you mean?" Gaara didn't look up as he spoke and continued with his task.
"One moment you're a jerk, and now you're being nice. Make up your mind!" Neji made his frustration clear in his tone of voice.
Gaara shrugged. "What would you like me to be?"
Neji glared. "Nice. But consistently."
"Nice people don't live very long. This is not a pleasant world we live in," the sand-nin stated.
"What the heck does that have to do with anything? At least decide on a side. I'm sick of you constantly switching on me."
"And why does it bother you?" inquired Gaara.
"Because." Neji narrowed his eyes and winced slightly as he felt his cuts sting again. "I no longer know what to think about you anymore."
Gaara did not seem to be bothered in the least by Neji's statement and still worked with untangling the brunette's hair.
"Why did you do it?"
"Hm?" Gaara finally looked up and met Neji's eyes.
"Why did you sell me out like you did? Why do you treat me like crap and then all of a sudden turn around and protect me?" Neji had to cut off as he was taken over by a harsh cough as a result of his dry throat.
Gaara stood up and went back to the water, cupping his hands and drawing water into them. He returned to Neji and held his hand up to the Hyuuga's mouth. "Drink."
Neji did so before he tried to continue. "See? Like that! It's like you're someone afflicted with multiple personalities! Why can't you stay consistent?"
"Everyone exchanges their mask for another depending on the situation. Do you act the same when you are in front of others as you do when you are alone?"
"That has nothing to do with anything," Neji said in annoyance. "I don't act like a friend than turn around and stab that person in the back. Even worse, you turn around again and try to heal the backstabbing wound. You make absolutely no sense."
Gaara shrugged again and said nothing.
"If you're not in it for money, then why the hell are you working for that guy? It's clear to me that you hate his guts, yet you still run around like his little pawn, deceiving and kidnapping specimens for him."
"You should know by now that sometimes you have to do things you generally don't want to do in order to reach a goal. As a ninja, aren't you obligated to perform assignments for your village without question? You can't think of right and wrong. You're the pawn. I have my own objective in mind, and do what I can to obtain it. You have no objective, and run around doing what others say in order to gain nothing."
"So you'll trick me and sell me out to be taken apart for your own selfish needs?"
Gaara shook his head. "You take things far too personally. It is simply an unfortunate thing that I was told to get you in order to finally reach my goal."
Neji snarled. "Then what is your all-encompassing goal that obviously exceeds anything like loyalty or trust?"
Gaara looked up at Neji with his bright emerald eyes. "Freedom."
"What?" The last time Neji checked, he was the prisoner, not Gaara. "Just what are you talking about?"
"You really do take so much for granted. All I ever wanted is what you've always had and taken advantage of." Gaara's voice had taken a strange tone. He sounded almost childish, and his gaze shifted from Neji to the sky.
"And what is that?"
Gaara shut his eyes and leaned his head back. The moonlight shimmered over his hair and skin and Neji saw yet another side of the sand-nin. This part was innocent and softened; it was as if the hard exterior that normally covered Gaara had melted away to reveal the vulnerable part within.
"All I ever wanted was to be like everyone else. I want to be my own person, I want to know what it is to live and be free."
Neji was still incredibly confused. Gaara seemed hardly the type to be kept prisoner in any way. He couldn't be talking of Kanaroe, because Neji doubted that Gaara would take much crap from that man. "Just who are you prisoner to?" he asked.
Gaara turned and looked at Neji. "Long ago, I had a demon sealed within me. Because of him, I will always be protected. But such things come with a price. I am merely a shell for him to inhabit, and as such I am prisoner to him. I have gained control over the years, and am able to keep him in check, but there are still times when he is able to break free." Neji was startled to hear a slight trembling in the sand-nin's voice. "I want to be free of this curse. I don't want to hurt anymore."
Neji wasn't sure whether Gaara meant himself or others, but that seemed besides the point. He was amazed at the transformation that had come over Gaara. The normally confident nin suddenly looked lost and alone.
"I've tried so hard to break free, and I can't turn back now. It would make all my previous efforts wasted. Not only mine, but my brother and sister's. They have both put aside their own needs on my behalf, and I cannot let failure bring them down as well. We're in this until the end, until I can escape this bondage. I'm sorry that the price of my freedom had to be you, but I cannot back down now. Not when I've made it this far."
To say Neji was in shock was an understatement. Gaara's sudden mood-swing had thrown him enough without even getting to the information overload.
"And how does capturing me free you?" he asked.
"Kanaroe knows a way, and if all else fails…"
"What?" Neji did not like where this was going.
"You could serve as an adequate vessel for the demon."
Neji narrowed his eyes. "I should've known that even when you're sincere you're still a jerk."
Gaara sighed and looked at him. "Once again you take things too much to heart. I am not happy that you are the one being dragged into this, but I am not about to give up what I have been working on for most of my life to achieve."
Neji understood what Gaara meant, but that didn't make it right and it didn't make him happy. He made this clear to the sand-nin by glaring coldly at him. Gaara returned to fixing Neji's hair, and the brunette flinched away from his touch.
"Get away from me."
Gaara moved his hand away from Neji's hair and instead ran his fingers over Neji's cheek. "I'm sorry it had to turn out this way."
"Not as sorry as you're going to be when I get out of these ropes," growled Neji. He bit the hand that Gaara was using to stroke his cheek.
The redhead simply watched his hand clamped in the boy's teeth and brought his other hand up to push the hair behind Neji's ear. The brunette spat out Gaara's hand and kicked out at him. Gaara easily caught Neji's foot in his hand and leaned in close to the nin.
"What are you going to do now?" His green eyes sparkled in amusement.
Neji stupidly kicked out his other foot, only to have that caught as well by Gaara. He was completely vulnerable now, with his wrists tied behind his back and both his legs on either side of Gaara in the sand-nin's grasp. This would be a rather embarrassing and compromising position if any passerbys were to witness it. Of course they were in the middle of the woods, and from the denseness of the trees, Neji was pretty sure that he and Gaara were the only ones for a few miles.
Neji found himself helpless as the redhead leaned in and lightly kissed him on the lips. It was gentle, like his touch from before, but Neji could feel the restrained heat and power that hovered behind that soft contact. The Hyuuga hated Gaara for taking advantage of his defenseless position as the sand-nin leaned in to claim another kiss.
"Why did it have to be you?" he heard the boy whisper before his lips were covered yet again. His contact gradually became more forward and aggressive, until it was comparable to the night he had sedated Neji.
Neji tried to turn away from Gaara's assault of kisses, but the sand-nin would not allow him that. He gripped onto Neji possessively and buried his face in the boy's neck.
"Sasuke was right about you," growled Neji.
Gaara moved away from Neji's neck to look at him and show he was listening.
"He told me you were never to be trusted. I called him prejudice before, but now I see it was purely good judgment."
Gaara smirked. "I'd just call it pure jealousy."
Neji glared. "You have some nerve to tell me you're using me in order to exorcise a demon and then turn around and start to kiss me."
Gaara shrugged. "What can I say? You look gorgeous in the moonlight."
Neji turned away and scoffed. "If you think flattery will get you far, you're wrong."
Gaara shrugged. "Then I'll be wrong. It doesn't mean I'll stop. I will say what I feel needs to be said, and one thing is that you are quite beautiful."
The Hyuuga glared. "Yes, and far too pretty for you, so get off."
The redhead didn't move and renuzzled his face into the crook of Neji's neck. "You are far too pretty to be caught up in this messy situation. But fate is often cruel."
"You're the one that's being cruel," snapped Neji. "It's your choice to have me here. You'd let me go if you really cared."
"And then what?" inquired Gaara. "Start over from square one again? Loose control and kill more people? Is your one life really more valuable than the lives of dozens of others?"
"Apparently not, but it's the only one I have, and I'll be damned if I'm giving it up easily."
Gaara smirked. "That is good to hear."
Neji rolled his eyes. "I've stopped trying to make sense of your conflicting statements."
The redhead shrugged. "My own life is very much a conflict."
Neji snorted and said nothing. Gaara still did not move away, and resettled against him, much to the nin's irritation. It was comfortable and warm, but Neji did not want any warmth that came from Gaara.
There was quiet for a long while, and Neji was unsure as to whether Gaara had fallen asleep. He shifted slightly. "Are you asleep?" he whispered, hoping that the sand-nin was and that he could at least try to loosen the ropes.
The redhead startled Neji with his rather clear and sudden voice. "No. If I were to sleep, you would be dead."
Neji looked at Gaara in confusion. He should be used to the fact that half of what came out of the nin's mouth made no sense.
"When I sleep," Gaara explained, "The demon arises, and I wake up to find people dead. I haven't slept in a very long time."
"That's impossible," stated Neji, "Everyone needs to sleep sometimes, or your body will just force you to it eventually."
"Don't tell me what is impossible," said Gaara, turning away. "When you wake up in the blood of your friends and bystanders, that fear of it happening again is enough to drive anyone to do anything. You may call me selfish for wanting to be free. And you would partially be right. I want to be my own person; I want to dream again. But how many more innocent lives would have to be taken every time I loose control?"
Neji stayed quiet, unsure as to how to respond to his statement.
"Does your wound hurt?"
The brunette shook his head.
"Good." Gaara leaned forward and lightly kissed the lid of Neji's left eye. "Are you tired?"
"No. Stop kissing me."
"But you enjoy it."
Neji curled his lip. "Don't tell me what to enjoy. I think you're a sick monster."
Gaara shrugged. "Most do. I've grown accustomed to that fact now. But say I were free of the demon, would you be happy with me?"
"Not after what you've done," replied Neji angrily. "You've ruined any chance of me ever looking at you favorably again. You're nothing but a double-crossing, lying, sadistic jerk. I hat—"
Neji could not finish his words as Gaara's lips cut him off. "Don't say that," he whispered, resting his forehead against the nin's. The brunette scowled back. Gaara's lip corners upturned slightly, but it was hardly enough to be called a smile. "You make me happy. From the moment you met me, you never judged me up front. You gave me a chance that I rarely get; you devoted yourself to becoming my friend."
"And look where that got me," remarked Neji sarcastically.
Gaara sighed and looked torn. He started to move away from Neji, but startled the Hyuuga as he suddenly moved quickly back in, taking the boy's breath away in yet another sudden kiss.
"Mmft! Gaara sto—mmph"
"Why? You like it."
"I do no—mmm." Neji cursed the moan that came unwillingly from his throat when the redhead's tongue slid into his mouth.
Gaara smirked and pulled away. "See?"
Neji gave him the darkest glare he could muster.
"Perhaps there is a way around this," continued the sand-nin, looking contemplatively at the lake.
"Around what?"
Gaara just smirked. "Sleep now. We may have to travel tomorrow, and I expect you to walk this time."
"I'm not shutting my eyes around you. You might molest me or something while I'm asleep."
"I'd prefer if you were awake." Neji's eyes widened and Gaara chuckled. "I am joking. You can sleep. I need time to think tonight." With that, the sand-nin turned away and sat at the edge of the water. Neji was glad that he had given him his space, most likely to reassure the boy that he was going to leave him alone. It was still a few more minutes before he finally shut his eyes and tried to sleep. When he woke up in the morning, Gaara was still sitting by the lakeside, gazing out at the calm clear water.
There, I made the chapter extra-long. Hopefully it'll satisfy you guys until I get back on Thursday. Don't know if I'll have the next chapter ready to post right away when I get back, but I figure I update frequently enough anyway.