Disclaimer:I do not own any of the books, TV shows, or other media that these characters come from. Those that do would surely never collaborate on what you find here.
Summary: Part one in the Sister Fanfic Challenge. Buffy from Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Xena from Xena: Warrior Princess are stranded on an island together. This is their story.
Stranded on an Island
As she tried to get a sense of her surroundings before she opened her eyes, Buffy had to once again wonder why crazy shit always had to happen to her. She wasn't the only slayer anymore so surely the weird magnet in her behind had lost some strength, distributed to the mass of angsty teenagers that had occupied her house before it sunk with the rest of Sunnydale.
Buffy opened her eyes and blinked. Glancing left and then right, a similar sight greeted her.
Tropical paradise.
Okay, that was the optimistic version. More realistically she was probably in some parallel hell dimension stranded on an island with only soured coconut milk to live on as she fought demon monkeys to the death.
Either way it was time to start exploring. On the positive side of things, she was missing Kennedy and Willow's meatloaf dinner.
On second thought, maybe that was how she got here.
Gaining consciousness Xena immediately knew she was alone, uninjured, and unarmed but not where she was supposed to be. Taking those facts, she opened her eyes and got up.
She was on a beach on what appeared to be an island or peninsula. No birds to be heard or seen. No tracks or evidence of human or animal life at all. If she felt like being paranoid, she'd think this was some trap of Ares, but so far it seemed too peaceful. She'd keep her guard up, but for now nothing seemed to be an immediate threat.
Xena started walking across the sands, keeping a safe distance from the trees and underbrush located inward from the ocean. The moonlight reflected off the calm, gentle waves. Gabrielle was going to kill her for getting mysteriously whisked away on her birthday.
Or maybe not, since it meant she'd won the bet that something was going to ruin her day.
"Finally, we're getting somewhere."
Rounding a large rock, Buffy turned to see a woman heading in her direction. Raven-haired, dressing ready for a dominatrix party, the woman noticed Buffy nearly at the same time. Cautiously, they approached each other.
After a few minutes of sizing each other up, they both came to the conclusion that they were in the same predicament. There was no other good reason for the bare feet.
"Buffy"
"Xena"
"Nice name," they said at the same time. In a fashion familiar in both the ladies lives, it was at that moment they were attacked. From out of the jungle, what seemed to be a dozen two feet tall hairy bipeds came running towards them. As they got closer, it became obvious that they were monkeys.
The blue-assed variety.
Just before they reached the warriors, Buffy offhanded said, "Quick question, any idea about the how or why?"
"No a clue, but this convenient attack tells me someone is very impatient." And they were upon them. Compared to their usual skill, Buffy and Xena ended up mainly punting the monkeys away from them. When said punted mammals charged back, faced mutated in a monkey "game face", Buffy's senses screamed in warning.
"Damnit! They're vampire monkeys!"
Xena looked back in disbelief and disgust. "Don't be ridiculous blondie. I've fought vampires before and these things look nothing like them."
Backhanding one that jumped at her, Buffy replied, "Listen amazon, of all things, I know bloodsuckers. Killed them, dated them, spent time in magicky nightmarelands as one. I don't care if they've got tales and bare blue asses. Those hell-monkeys are vampires!"
Xena was forced to concede when as she ripped off the head of one, it turned to dust. "Well then we need weapons. Run!"
Buffy and Xena, kicking and fighting all the way, ran up the beach for the jungle. There may have been more vamp-monkeys in there, but they needed more then bare hands. Breaking off a piece of bamboo Buffy stabbed a monkey in the heart and it turned to dust. Staring the bent stick in her hand, Buffy muttered, "I am so missing Mr. Pointy."
"I don't care about your personal life, blondie, keep with the staking. You don't hear me muttering about my sword or chakram."
"What does yoga have to do with anything?" Bickering, they soon finished off the ankle-biting attackers.
"Do you always chatter so much when you fight?" They were currently walking inland, going with the idea that it was the direction of the hell monkeys and therefore their answers.
"Usually my combatants have more vocabulary then ooh-ooh-ahh-ahh. Damn, after this I'll have to come up with a different description of 'game face'. Doesn't do to call them ape faces when I've seen it on actual apes. Ah well, change is good. What about you? Any quips or barbs you favor for the evil set?"
"Oh I usually manage. My villains are often power-hungry males, buts there are all sorts of ways to make make both men and women unbalanced in a fight."
"Heh, yeah. What was that weapon you mentioned earlier. Chakram?" Xena quickly gave Buffy a description of her versatile weapon to which Buffy simplified, "Two-piece deadly Frisbee, got it."
Stiffly, Xena replied, "Better then a pointy stick. Much more elegant than that. It's –"
"Incoming!" Buffy cried as she ducked. The metallic whistling was as familiar as a best friend t Xena. With a leap and spin, she caught the chakram after a double ricochet off nearby trees. On alert, the women briefly exchanged glances.
"What's your bet that we're nearer the center of this mess?"
"Considering that we've just reached a sunken valley with a temple in the center visible form here, my bet is you're right." With that, the women began the decent into the valley, Buffy grabbing the hammer leaning against a nearby tree, looking remarkably similar to the troll-god hammer she used to take out Glory.
"So Xena, ever kill a god with that thing?"
"Why"
"No reason."
High above them, the god Hypnos laughed. "I just love messing with champions."