"I see the sun" Buttercup said to herself. The belly rainbow was making her happy. Very happy. So happy, in fact, she was just too happy to be happy, and got sad. So she went and sat down in the Townsville Park. "Buh!" she went. "Oh why? Why am I cursed with such terrible ailments?"

Why yes, my friends. Gastroenteritis is one powerful sickness to have. It makes you burp, it makes you nauseous, it makes you want to barf, and… it makes you nauseous, which in turn makes you not want to eat, which in turn makes you lose 500 pounds on the Atkins diet, which in turn results in your being converted to nothing but a bag of bones, and believe me, Buttercup does NOT want to be a bag of bones.

SO, she sat down in the Townsville park. Yes, INSIDE it. On a bench, of course. No, not on the little ducks swimming in the pond, that would just be cruel… wait, no, that'd be cool. Yeah! She sat in the park, right on one of the just-hatched little ducklings, asphyxiating it with the enormity of her behind.

"I wish I was a phoenix" the duckling croaked as it expired beneath Buttercup's behind.

"Tough luck," Buttercup grunted, "I wanted to be a boy, and look what I got- a sissy green dress."

"Quack" quacked the duck in its deathly quackiness, as it closed its eyes and knew no more of this world.

Quoth the raven, "Nevermore."

"Aw go to HELL," Buttercup yelled at the raven flapping 'round her face as she gave it a powerpunch and sent it hurdling against Townsville Hall. "Now, how do I stop – Buh! – burping?"

"Dost thou really desire to thy burping detain?" asked a suspicious voice.

Buttercup turned around. There it was, the owner of the suspicious voice was a suspicious character cloaked in suspicious-looking clothes. "Suspicious," Bubbles thought. "Who are you?" she asked. The rainbow from her tummy was still going full blast.

"Ah, if only thou knewest who I am-eth," the suspicious character said suspiciously.

"You're suspicious," Buttercup said.

The suspicious character cackled suspiciously. "I can taketh thy gastroenteritis away-eth young girl… But for a price…"

Buttercup narrowed her eyes suspiciously. "Buh. What price?"

"Thou shall haveth to giveth me… your VOICE-eth!"

"HAHAHAHAH- buh!- HAHAHAH!" Buttercup guffawed. "You've GOT to be scratching my butt hairs man! That's the worst deal I've EVER- buh!-"

"Listen my chocolate morsel… I only thee for thy voice-eth… for THREE days-eth…"

"What am I?" Buttercup said, "The little mermaid or something?"

The suspicious character laughed suspiciously in the characteristic suspicious laughter of suspicious characters. "Why yes Buttercup. Thou ART a mermaid-eth!"

"Buh!" and at that moment, Buttercup sprung enormous fins!