Mac felt her knees start to give out and she stumbled blindly towards a row of chairs across from the nurse's desk. Sarah seemingly materialized at her side, guiding her into a seat with a hand on Mac's elbow. "I'm okay," Mac insisted, but she didn't shake off the assistance.

"Of course you are, dear," Sarah said in a comforting tone. She knew enough about Mac from her grandson to realize that she wouldn't want an issue made of her emotional reaction to the doctor's news. Although whether that was due to her past or being in the military, Sarah wasn't sure. Maybe a little of both, for she'd seen the same behavior often enough in Harm. "The lack of sleep is probably just catching up with you. God knows we'll all be able to use the sleep after we see Harm. Trish? Frank?"

Trish sat heavily in another chair, Frank hovering protectively over her shoulder. "It's different this time," Trish said, her tone distant. "By the time we arrived in Germany the last time this happened, Harm was already out of surgery. I don't know. Maybe it was easier to wait then because we were on a plane that was taking us to him, not sitting in waiting room, watching time move so slowly, knowing that Harm was just yards away."

"You'll be able to see him soon," Frank said reassuringly. Trish reached up and clasped his hand over her shoulder. "You and Mac should go in and see him first, and then Sarah and I can go in…."

"Maybe Gram should go in first," Mac protested without much conviction. She desperately needed to see Harm, to see for herself that he was alive. She couldn't shake the image out of her mind of the violent spasms when he'd seized on the carrier. But she couldn't put herself ahead of Harm's family, not when everything was so uncertain, when she was so unsure of where she stood with them. "She's…."

"Nonsense," Sarah said firmly. "You're Harm's wife. I can wait a few more minutes to see him." She shook her head resolutely as Mac opened her mouth to protest. "An additional fifteen minutes isn't going to make a difference for me. You need to see your husband and that's the end of that."

"Perhaps we should go back into the waiting room and let everyone know the news," Trish interjected. "There are a lot of people who came a long way because they were worried about Harm."

"Good idea," Frank added with a wary glance at his wife. Although she was correct, there was something just a little off about her tone. "All of Harm's friends are worried about him. Sarah, why don't you and Mac go do that?"

Mac was about to say something, but Sarah shook her head almost imperceptibly. "We'll do that," Sarah agreed. She motioned to Mac, who reluctantly stood with her. "You'll join us in a few minutes?"

Frank nodded, smiling to put the women at ease. "We'll be there in a minute," he promised. "I just need to talk to Trish for a second."

Trish and Frank were silent until the two women had gone back into the waiting room, then Trish turned to her husband, her arms folded across her chest. "What, Frank?" she said, her tone just short of a demand. She knew from experience that when he wanted to speak to her alone like that, she wasn't likely to appreciate what he had to say.

"Do you want to tell me what's going on with you and Mac?" Frank asked gently as he sat in the chair Mac had vacated. Under other circumstances, he might have been amused. Her tone and posture were so reminiscent of her son. He might be his father's twin in looks, but a large portion of Harm's personality came straight from his mother. Or maybe it was Trish's stubbornness that came from Harm. After all, she'd had to match him in the ongoing effort to keep him somewhat in line during his teen years.

"I don't know what you're talking about," she said defensively.

"Trish …." he said with a sigh. There was a lot he wanted to say, but now wasn't the time to risk a disagreement – or worse – with his wife. Her mood was so mercurial right now, and to a degree that was understandable. No parent should go through what she was going through even once, let alone twice. But to give Mac the cold shoulder – he couldn't understand that, especially since she'd been cordial up until Mac announced her and Harm's marriage. Keeping in mind her frame of mind, he decided to take a slightly different tact. "She loves our son."

"So does Renee," she reminded him.

"I suppose," he admitted. "You've met her before, not me. But Harm didn't marry Renee. Tell me, have you ever known him to do something this important that he didn't absolutely believe in one hundred percent?"

Trish sighed heavily without answering. He did have a point. But how could she explain to him what she couldn't quite explain to herself? Who could explain the instinctive knowledge of a mother? Frank wasn't a mother …. couldn't understand the intuition that came along with the title. She'd carried Harm in her body for nine months and then had nurtured him for seventeen years. She'd spent a lifetime loving him and worrying about him. She knew when her baby was happy.

And she knew when he was sad, like after Australia. He'd dropped by the house a couple of months after that trip while in San Diego on a case and, when apologizing for sending her birthday present late, had mentioned that he'd been in Australia on a case at the time.

He'd told her about the case of the American sailor killing an Australian sailor then adopting his identity for twenty-eight years, but Trish could sense immediately that there was something about the trip to Australia that he didn't want to talk about. Knowing that there was a time to push her son and a time to just back away, she'd changed the subject by innocently asking how Mac was doing, by then a standard question whenever she spoke to her son.

His response had been stunning. There had been no indulgent shake of his head, no exasperated 'Mom!' despite the sparkle in his eyes and the grin that spoke of his real feelings, as was his normal response. He'd abruptly changed the subject, asking her about how the gallery was doing, as if she hadn't even asked the question. But what was even more surprising than his sudden topic switch had been the flash of pain in his eyes before a mask of indifference had fallen over his expression, so brief that she almost thought she'd imagined it, yet so stark that it broke her mother's heart.

She'd tried a couple more times during the visit to bring up Mac's name, only to be rebuffed each time. She'd even thought about asking Sarah – Trish had reconciled herself long ago to Harm's tendency to confide in his grandmother before her - if Harm had said anything to her, but had quickly banished the thought. She'd always known that Sarah would never break a confidence. She would never risk Harm's trust like that.

Trish still didn't know what had happened in Australia, although the fact that Mac's fiancé – ex-fiancé, she reminded herself – was Australian and the fact that Harm had never mentioned her upcoming wedding seemed to be strong indicators. But whatever had happened, she knew without a doubt that Mac had hurt her son …. badly. How could she just forget about that?

Frank could see in her eyes the battle being waged within. Carefully considering his words, he took her hand in his, gently massaging her chilled fingers. "Trish," he finally said, "you aren't thinking about what he said, or rather didn't say, a year ago when he visited us, are you? We don't know what happened …."

"I know my baby was hurt," she insisted, with the indignation that only a mother could muster, "badly. And it's not that hard to figure out that Mac has something to do with that."

He knew that there were two sides to every story. Maybe Mac had done something, whether intentional or not, which had caused the deep pain Trish had seen at the time, which she'd told him about later when suggesting he try to get Harm to open up to him, man to man. But that wasn't necessarily the entire story. He loved Harm as much as if he'd been biologically his, but he wasn't blind to the fact that Harm was too good at hurting those closest to him - often blindly unaware, although sometimes uncaring of the pain he was inflicting on others. If Mac had hurt Harm, it was entirely possible that Harm had done something to hurt her, whether as cause or consequence of what Mac had done.

"Yes," he admitted, "Harm was hurt by something …." Trish started at that, but he silenced her unspoken objection with a look. "…. or someone. But we need to trust that Harm knows what he's doing …."

"But how do we know that?" she countered stridently. "My God, Frank. Harm nearly died tonight. How do we know that he was really thinking about what he was doing? This is all happening so fast. She was supposed to marry someone else up until yesterday!"

"Patricia Burnett, stop right there!" He said, his voice rising. Taking a deep breath, he continued on in a calmer tone. "There is one thing that we do know. Do you remember earlier when you asked Mac if she loved Harm? Do you doubt that she was being completely honest? She traveled out to a carrier to be at his side. For me, that speaks louder than what may or may not have happened between them over a year ago. Can you try to focus on what the two of you have in common? You both love Harm and would do anything for him. And Harm loves both of you …. "

Again, Trish looked like she wanted to argue, but he shook his head. "Now, don't argue about that, Trish. We've both suspected for years that Harm loves her as more than just his best friend. Anyway, we all need to pull together, to be there for each other and for Harm. It is not going to help Harm to see that there are issues between his wife and mother."

Trish sighed, closing her eyes. He was right about one thing. It would do no good for Harm to see tension between Mac and herself. She would not do anything to hurt him, she promised herself. Opening her eyes, she nodded slowly. "I'll try," she conceded, " …. for Harm."

Inwardly, Frank sighed with relief. "That's all I ask," he said, placing his arm across her shoulders and pulling her against him.

She relaxed in his arms, resting her head on his shoulder. Harm was the most important thing and she would try to keep in mind what was best for him. But knowing what was right for Harm in her head and in her heart could turn out being two very different things.

-----

When Mac and Sarah entered the waiting room, it was as if a switch had been thrown. All conversation suddenly stopped and all eyes, except for those of the sleeping baby AJ, turned to the two women. I'm a Marine, Mac told herself as Sarah's hand found hers, Sarah's fingers tightening around hers comfortingly. I can handle this. Regardless, she managed not to focus on any one face, her gaze darting over everyone's heads. She could feel the eyes on her, hear the unspoken questions, but now was not the time. She couldn't deal with it right now, had to focus exclusively on Harm.

"Dr. Stafford just stopped to talk to us in the hall," Mac said in a calm tone that belied the tension she coiled deep inside. "Harm is out of surgery and is doing as well as can be expected."

"What exactly does that mean?" Renee demanded. Even if she'd given even a moment's thought to being pragmatic about losing Harm, over twenty-four hours without sleep was more than enough to unbridle her tongue. "When can I see him?"

"Just what it sounds like," Sarah answered evenly. She could easily dismiss her behavior after so long without sleep. They were all tired and even the most levelheaded person could be sharper than intended under those circumstances. She just wished she had confidence that Renee was more personable when fully rested and that she wouldn't cause any problems. "The doctors are optimistic but he's not out of the woods yet. He's being closely monitored for any further problems."

She quickly latched onto the fact that Sarah had completely ignored her second question. So that's the way that particular wind is blowing, she thought. She's already playing Mac's protector. "So when can I see him?" she repeated.

Giving Mac's hand a quick squeeze as a signal – Sarah knew the temptation to say something must be overwhelming for her – she answered, "Not for a while, Ms. Peterson. I'm sorry, but the doctor is only allowing family in for now, at least until Harm's condition improves. He's probably going to remain under sedation for most of today, anyway."

The knowledge that Harm wouldn't even be waking up for hours was little consolation for Renee. She needed to see him. Didn't the year and a half she'd spent with him count for anything? To be shunted aside while Mac, who just a day ago had been to marry another man, took her place at his side was galling. She stood and took a step towards the two women, her eyes blazing. "I'll be damned if…."

"Thank you, Mrs. Rabb," A.J. said quickly, cutting off the protest he knew was coming from Renee. Realistically, even if Mac wasn't there, Renee wasn't likely to be allowed in to see Harm anyway, but having to sit back while Mac was allowed in had to be infuriating to her, he realized. It wasn't her fault she'd gotten caught in the middle of the storm of Harm and Mac's lives. Unlike Mic, she probably hadn't even realized what she was walking into the middle of. He buried the pang of sympathy he felt towards her. She likely would find such a sentiment suspect, coming from someone so …. close to Harm and Mac. "I suppose the rest of us should see about getting rooms somewhere and get some sleep. Most of us do have to be back at JAG tomorrow."

"Sir," Bud corrected him, "actually, tomorrow is Memorial Day."

"So it is, Mr. Roberts," A.J. said, chuckling with little mirth. He was more tired than he cared to admit to anyone, even himself. Gone were the days when he could go without sleep for several days and still be raring to go. "Well, then most of us don't have to be back at JAG until Tuesday. Tiner, Gunny, check with the nurses' desk, get numbers for some hotels in the area and start calling around. Check with billeting first, although I doubt they can accommodate us all and those that aren't military can't stay there anyway, except for Harm's immediate family. Just make sure any hotel is aware that we need rooms immediately and not in several hours after checkout time."

"Aye, Sir," Victor answered for both of them, heading out with Jason on his heels. They nearly ran into Trish and Frank entering the room.

"Excuse us, Sir, Ma'am," Victor apologized, stepping aside to let them enter. "We're on our way to look into hotel rooms for everyone."

"That isn't necessary for us," Frank said. "We were stopped on our way back in by one of the nurses. They were nice enough to call and arrange for rooms at the VOQ at the shipyard for us, Sarah and Mac."

"Yes, Sir," Victor said as he and Jason left.

Everyone shifted around to make room for the new arrivals, Chloe motioning frantically to Mac and Sarah with her free hand, her other arm supporting baby AJ in her lap. The women settled on the couch on either side of her, Mac lifting AJ from Chloe's arms and settling him on her own lap, her hand absently stroking baby-fine blond hair. AJ stirred, but did not wake up, merely snuggling against his godmother with a quiet sigh.

Mic watched the scene, masking his growing unease. She'd all but ignored his presence since they'd come face-to-face several hours earlier. He was certain that if he could just get her away from there and talk to her, then they could straighten everything out, he could get her to make sense of everything. He glanced at his watch. If all had gone as it should have, they would have been somewhere out over the Pacific Ocean right now, jetting away to Australia for their honeymoon.

But she was being monopolized. At various times, A.J. and Rabb's grandmother had stepped in to keep him away from Mac. He had to be with her, but if he even made a move in her direction, he knew more than one person would jump in to put a stop to it. Frustrated, he couldn't help the sigh that escaped. Quickly glancing around the room, he caught several looks of pity. I don't want their pity, he told himself. It's not necessary. This will all get straightened out and Sarah will be back with me.

Only Renee had the courage to approach him, perching herself on the arm of the chair he was seated in. "Sickening, isn't it?" she murmured, gesturing vaguely in Mac's direction, where she was holding a quiet conversation with Chloe and Carolyn, who was seated on the other side of her.

"We should have been on our way to Australia right now," he said as Mac smiled sadly at something Carolyn said. Sarah leaned over and said something that brought chuckles to the group huddled together. His stomach clenched in knots at the sight.

"I don't suppose you could grab her and drag her onto a plane, could you?" Renee said, not entirely joking. She and Mic were in the same boat and were going to have to work together to bail out of it. Mic just gave her a stern look and she shook her head. "It was just a thought."

I wish I could, he thought. He didn't know what to do. Most of them seemed to be working overtime to protect Mac from him. As if she needed it. He was her fiancé, the man who loved her. He snorted, bringing a puzzled glance from Renee.

"It's nothing," he said. "Just thinking."

"About a way to get your fiancée and my boyfriend back?" she whispered, leaning closer as she glanced around. No one seemed to be paying them much attention.

"Weren't you the one a few hours ago who was ready to accept this as a fait accompli?" he reminded her, his voice just as quiet.

"I said I didn't know what else to do," she countered, "at the time. But the more I think about this, the more determined I am not to let Harm go without a fight. I can't believe that the last year and a half was wasted. I want that man to be my husband, the father of my children …."

"There isn't a possibility that you are, is there?" he asked, his eyes darting to her midsection.

"I wish," she sighed. "But he was always so careful about that. He …. never mind." She didn't really want to talk about the fight she and Harm had not long after his return from Russia and Cuba. She'd prepared …. well, ordered …. a welcome-home dinner from him and had taken the phone off the hook so he wouldn't get any calls ordering him to Mongolia at the last minute. Things had progressed naturally – until Harm had found the box in his nightstand drawer empty and put the brakes on.

She'd tried to convince him that it didn't matter. She had a diaphragm – pills made her feel bloated, so she'd opted for another form of contraception – and besides, it wasn't the right time of the month for her to conceive anyway. But he'd been immovable, saying he wasn't going to put her in that situation. Now, she wondered if what he meant was that he wasn't going to put himself in that position. If he'd always been in love with Mac all along ….

"I don't suppose there's any chance that she's carrying a little Brumby?" she turned the question around, tilting her head in Mac's direction.

"We both want kids," he replied, "but she insisted on waiting until after we were married." He'd accepted the condition at the time, but there had been a tiny part of him that couldn't help hoping for an accident, especially in the days before she'd accepted his proposal. In those frustrating days, he would have welcomed anything that would have tipped the scales in his favor, finally finding it in his former commanding officer's offer of his old job back. If he'd known that would have gotten her to move the ring, he probably would have played the 'moving back to Oz' card months earlier. Ten months was a long time to hang around waiting for her to make a decision.

"But who was it that she wanted kids with?" Renee retorted without thinking. Instantly contrite, she added, "I'm sorry. I just remember a round-about conversation Harm and I once had and I can't help wondering now if it was that he didn't want kids at the time or that he didn't want them with me."

Mic's eyes fell on Mac, whose gaze met his for a brief, uncomfortable moment before she turned away, saying something to Carolyn. She swayed slightly, gently rocking baby AJ in her arms and he remembered another conversation on the topic of kids just recently, just a few days after their engagement party.

They'd been discussing what to pack for their honeymoon and she'd idly mentioned needing to get her birth control prescription refilled before they left. Innocently enough, he'd suggested that since they were going to be married, it was time to throw the pills out and work on starting that family.

In retrospect, what bothered him now wasn't her refusal – maybe he'd been pushing it a bit by suggesting they start working on the family immediately after they were married. Perhaps there was something to be said for time for them before they added another person to the mix. No, what he found striking at this time had been the odd look she'd given him when he'd said it, almost as if it wasn't really him she'd been seeing. What if she hadn't been? "What if she was already involved with him?" he asked himself, not even realizing he'd spoken the words until he noticed Renee looking at him askance for a second before understanding dawned.

"You're thinking if she wanted to wait because of Harm?" she wondered softly.

"I don't think that's a question that is going to get answered now," he pointed out, "if it ever will."

"No," she agreed sadly, "I suppose not."

-----

To be continued….