"Renee," Mac said with a calmness she didn't feel. Despite being a few hours removed from her confrontation with Mic, her nerves were still raw. She'd wanted to calm down before she saw Harm, but a few rounds with the punching bag at the base gym had done little to relieve her stress. A confrontation with Harm's ex-girlfriend was the last thing she needed right now.
Renee took a step towards Mac. "Aren't you going to ask me why I'm here?" she demanded.
Mac shrugged. "I know why you're here," she replied. "I don't know how you got in when only family is allowed, but does it really matter?"
"'Only family is allowed'," Renee mimicked. "I'm not family. You made sure of that."
"Harm was the one who asked me to marry him," Mac explained as gently as she could. "Harm does care for you, but …."
"Yeah," Renee retorted bitterly, "he cared for me so much that the minute you crooked your finger at him, he came running. I was with him for sixteen months, but as soon as you tell him you're available, he's there. Why couldn't you just marry Mic like you've been planning for the last five months?"
"Because it wouldn't have been right," Mac replied. "I did care for him, but …."
"But you didn't love him, is that it?" Renee finished bitterly. "Well, give the lady an Academy Award. You sure have given one hell of an impression of it the last five months. While you were busy playing the role of Mic's loving fiancée, I was the one who was there with Harm, loving him …."
"I don't know what you want me to say," Mac said. "If you'll excuse me, I need to see Harm, make sure he's okay." She started to step around Renee, but the other woman moved quickly to block her.
"Why, do you think I might have done something to him?" she demanded angrily.
"Renee, this is not about you," Mac said tersely. "Harm nearly died two days ago. He's still not completely out of the woods."
Renee looked slightly taken aback at that. "I didn't know that," she said quietly. "Harm didn't say anything."
"No, he wouldn't have," Mac pointed out. "For what it's worth, I'm sorry."
"You're sorry," Renee said in a deceptively calm voice. Mac realized that she'd said the wrong thing, but there was nothing she could do about that now. Maybe Renee deserved a chance to say her piece, she told herself.
"Of course, you're sorry," Renee continued bitterly. "You know, I saw Harm Wednesday afternoon. He told me he was driving to Norfolk and I offered to go with him, to see him off. I didn't think it was too much to ask that he spend some time with me. Do you know what he told me?" She lifted an eyebrow, waiting for an answer.
"No," Mac replied after a tense moment.
"He said that he wanted to get a good night's sleep before his quals," Renee replied softly. Mac had the sudden image of a snake coiling in the grass, poising to strike, and she had the feeling she knew exactly where this one was aimed. "He didn't get much sleep that night, did he?"
Mac exhaled the breath she'd been holding. "Did Mic tell you that?" she asked.
"He told me that he found a receipt at your apartment," Renee explained, "for breakfast for two at the Norfolk Officers' Club. Please, don't insult my intelligence by telling me that you woke up in the middle of the night and decided just for the hell of it to drive down to Norfolk."
"Renee, what is this accomplishing?" Mac asked, growing weary of the entire discussion and looking for a way out. She was tempted to bodily move Renee out of her way, but the corridor of a military hospital was hardly the place for such indecorous behavior. She reminded herself that a commotion right outside Harm's door would surely attract his attention, and he didn't need that.
"I've been with him for over a year," Renee spat out, angrily blinking back tears, "and I've invested everything I am in that relationship. I wanted to spend my life with him. I think that entitles me to say what I have to say. I can't say it to Harm, because he's in no condition to handle it. You want to protect your husband, then fine. You can stand here and give me the courtesy of listening to what I have to say."
Mac glanced around and made a decision. If it would keep Renee from upsetting Harm …. "Let's not do this here," she suggested. "Let's go into the waiting room."
Mac gestured for Renee to go ahead. She followed her into the waiting room, closing the door behind them to give them some privacy. She turned to face Renee. "Say what you have to say, Renee," she said. Renee turned away from her and walked over to the window, staring out at the gathering clouds.
"Why, Mac?" Renee finally asked. "Why couldn't you just marry Mic like you were supposed to, and let me be happy with Harm?"
Mac considered how to answer. The truth was the simplest explanation in this case, but she was sure it wasn't what Renee wanted to hear. She shook her head. If Renee was going to be given the opportunity to have her say, then she was going to have to deal with the consequences. That meant listening to the truth. "Because we would have been miserable together," she said. "And if you're honest, you and Harm would've been, too."
Renee spun around, her eyes blazing with fury. "And what gives you the right to decide what Harm and I might've been together?" she demanded. "What makes you such an authority on what Harm and I feel for each other?"
"I know Harm loves me," Mac replied calmly. "It may not seem that way now, and I wouldn't have wished in a million years for everything to happen this way, but it was probably for the …."
"Oh, spare me the 'it's for the best' speech," Renee said, waving her hand as if to dismiss her. "If it's for the best, then why now? You were about to marry Mic and I was moving towards something more with Harm. Why couldn't you decide this five months ago, when you finally accepted Mic's proposal? Or back in Australia, when he first put the ring on your finger? What gives you the right to blow our lives out of the water now?"
"Nothing," Mac admitted reluctantly. "I'm sorry that you and Mic got hurt. You're both decent people …."
Renee snorted. "You never liked me," she accused.
"I don't know you that well," Mac said carefully. "Harm does care a lot about you. As far as that went, it didn't really matter what I thought."
"You just didn't think that I was the right person for Harm," Renee said. Mac was about to reply, but Renee waved her off again. "I guess we're even there, because I think you're the last woman Harm needs in his life. You see, Mic told me some things on the drive to Norfolk, when all we had were just suspicions that you and Harm had sex Wednesday night. He told me that you'd cheated on your first husband - with your commanding officer, of all people. We already know, of course, what you did to Mic just three days before you were going to marry him."
When Mac couldn't come up with a reply, Renee pressed on. "Given your history, I'm not quite sure why Mic was so determined to believe the best about you. He was convinced there had to be some kind of logical explanation for that receipt. What I see is that you should come with a warning – 'Buyer beware'. You're right. Mic is a decent person, and he doesn't deserve what you've done to him."
"Mic's an adult," Mac said, "and it may take time, but he'll eventually realize that this was for the best."
"Are you really that callous?" Renee asked in amazement. "Then again, maybe I shouldn't be surprised given the way you chew men up and spit them out. Your first husband died, and you and your lover were accused of murdering him. Hmm, I wonder what happened to your lover? How did you ruin his life? And then there's Mic, who gave up everything for you, only to have you throw it back in his face."
"I didn't ask Mic to do that," Mac protested. "And I would never do anything like that to Harm."
"It seems to me that it's just a matter of time," Renee said, brushing past Mac to get to the door. Her hand on the knob, she turned back and issued her parting shot. "I just hope that when that time comes, you don't destroy him like you've done to every other man who's had the misfortune of being a part of your life."
After Renee stormed out, Mac sank into a chair, wrapping her arms around herself. Renee was angry, and Mac had to admit that she had every right to be. She didn't doubt that the other woman loved Harm. Renee was furious to find out her feelings weren't returned, which was perfectly understandable, especially after all she'd invested in the relationship. She was lashing out, and Mac made a very convenient target.
Resolving not to worry about it anymore, she headed back to Harm's room. She needed him right now. Glancing through the window in the door, she saw that he was awake, his eyes focused on a spot on the ceiling. She pushed the door open, a genuine smile on her face.
Harm gave her a smile of his own as she sat down on the edge of the bed. "Just what I need," he said hoarsely, "someone to rescue me from the boredom of counting ceiling tiles."
"You could always watch television," she said, nodding towards the set hanging from the ceiling.
"Since when do I watch television?" he reminded her, cocking his head to the side. "Anyway, I already tried it. The noise and the light from the set gave me a headache."
"Are you okay?" she asked, instantly concerned at the stark reminder of the seriousness of his condition. His smile and sense of humor might be intact, but he still had a long way to go before he was back to normal.
"Dr. Stafford said it's normal right now," he explained, taking her hand in his and squeezing it reassuringly. "The headaches should ease with time, or so he claims."
"Are you sure you're up to having company?" she asked. "I can come back later if you need to rest."
"I'm always up to your company," he replied. "Especially now." He paused as if contemplating something, and then added, "Ah, Renee was here a little bit ago. We talked a bit. Well, she did most of the talking. She seemed to be taking everything pretty well, considering."
So Renee hadn't really said much of anything to Harm, Mac realized. She'd had her doubts about that, despite what Renee had said. No wonder she'd felt the need to unload on her. Even if she'd wanted to, Renee couldn't bring herself to take out her feelings on Harm, not in his condition. In spite of everything, Mac found herself admiring Renee's restraint. "Yeah," she said, "I know. I, um, ran into her outside."
"I'm sorry," Harm said. "Did she say anything to you?"
"It was fine," Mac replied evasively. If Renee had led him to believe that she was fine, Mac saw no reason to disabuse him of that notion. There was no point. He couldn't do anything about it anyway. "I know it didn't happen the way you planned, but at least you had a chance to settle things with her."
"I just wish …." Harm began, trailing off as he looked away from her. "This isn't the way I imagined this happening."
"I know," she said sympathetically. "The end of a relationship is never easy, no matter what the circumstances."
"Speaking of which," he said, "how did your breakfast go with Mic?"
"It's over," she said with a shrug, staring at the blanket, not quite able to meet his eyes. "Unlike you and Renee, we were one step from the altar, so it's rough on him. But I dealt with it and told him I'd return his ring when I get back to Washington."
"Is that it?" he asked, unable to completely mask the disbelief in his voice.
"What did you expect?" she countered, her fingers rigid in his. "He can't change anything. He knows that."
"I don't know," he replied, massaging her hand to relieve the tension. "I guess …. I didn't think it would be so easy for him to let you go."
"He's not happy," she said, "but he'll live with it. He knows I'm not coming back to him."
"Okay," he said. He rubbed his thumb over her wedding ring and smiled, suddenly changing the subject. "Maybe when we get back to Washington, we can go shopping for an engagement ring to match that wedding band."
Mac's eyes darted to her hand, where his thumb running over her finger was warming her insides. She looked up at him and smiled, her eyes sparkling with a promise of later. "I don't know," she teased. "I'm not sure you could really say we were engaged. You asked me to marry you, and the next thing I knew, we were getting married. When exactly was this engagement you were talking about?"
He tried to chuckle, but it came out choked as he started coughing instead. He motioned towards the cup of water on the nightstand, which she picked up and held for him as he sipped. He cleared his throat and said, "Thanks."
"No problem," she said, placing the cup back on the nightstand. "I think sometimes you forget your own limits."
He smiled, trying to look innocent. She thought he probably hadn't been innocent a day in his life, imagining him with that cute grin of his, charming the pants off everyone around him from babyhood. She'd have to ask his mother and grandmother for some intel about those times. She chuckled at the thought, reflecting that it felt good to have something to laugh about.
"Anyway," he continued, "a little bit of time did pass between when I asked you to marry me and the actual 'I do'. It may have been one of the shortest on record, but we were engaged for an hour." His brow furrowed in concentration. "Maybe two. You should have a ring to commemorate that."
"I don't need a ring," she said with a chuckle. "You're alive and we're together. That's enough for me." She leaned over him, dipping her head down to brush her lips over his. As she pulled up, he slid his hand up her arm to her shoulder, pulling her back down. He returned the kiss, nibbling at her bottom lip before his tongue darted out to tease the seam of her lips.
Her lips parted slightly, granting him entrance, and he deepened the kiss. Mac sighed in contentment as her right hand slid up his chest, only to come into contact with one of the EKG leads attached to his chest under his hospital down. Reluctantly, she pulled back, resting her forehead against his, her breathing slightly unsteady. "I don't think you're quite ready for anything more strenuous than that," she teased.
A sexy grin spread across his face. It took everything she had in her to resist the urge to kiss that smile off his face. "But I figure I'm going to need plenty of physical therapy to get better," he countered, suggestively wagging his eyebrows at her.
"Maybe later," she promised, "when there isn't a station of nurses right down the hall wondering why your heart rate has suddenly gone up."
She started to sit up again, but he tugged her back down. "Stay with me," he said.
"Harm …." she began, but he shook his head.
"Just lie here with me," he requested. His eyes bored in hers. "I just …. I want to spend some time with you. Stay until I fall asleep again."
She found it nearly impossible to refuse him anything when looked at her like that. "Okay," she said, stretching out on her side next to him, her head nestled against his shoulder. Her right hand rested on his chest, the feel of his heart beating beneath her fingers reassuring in its steady simplicity.
He wrapped his right arm around her shoulder, holding her tight against him. Almost as one, they sighed softly, settling in together. This was what she'd been searching for, Mac reflected as her eyes drifted closed, and she'd nearly let it slip away from her.
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To be continued...